Acrylic Nails on My 13 Year Old Daugher

I agree that you shouldn't start the nail thing right now. All it takes for her to stop biting them is for her to WANT to stop biting them. Just like any other habit, it can't/won't be broken until the person really wants to break it. Kind of like drugs, alcohol or smoking. You can't quit for someone else - you can only quit when YOU want to. When SHE decides she wants her hands to be pretty, she will exercise the willpower and self-control to stop.

I have a 15 year old and I do not allow anything but mascara and very light lip gloss. I think blush is a bit much for a 7th grader.

Acrylic nails are very damaging and as a pretty lenient mom, I said no to acrylics when they were the craze and my daughter was in middle school.

I've had them and nearly ruined my nails. I'll never do that again. I wear nexgen now which is the powder and much less damaging.

That said... if she can stop biting for acrylics, she can stop biting period.

Is it a fight you really want to fight with your ex? There will be much larger issues along the way.

Why not try to find out why she's biting? It's possibly the co parenting issues could be why.

I agree with others that you need to get some sort of counsel so you and ex can raise her without fighting and reach a happy medium on how strict you are.

She won't have any real nails when they come off. Horrible. So damaging.

Did you take her to the doctor about the nail biting?
It might be an anxiety thing or a compulsive thing or in extreme cases even a self harm thing.
I'm not at all sure that acrylic nails is the answer to the problem.
If it's a compulsion she'll find something else to pick at.

You and your ex will be co-parenting your daughter till she's 18.
The teen years can be a rough ride.
Is this really a hill worth dying on?
It would be worth it for you and your ex to get some counseling so you can talk about these things with out accusing anyone of anything and come to agreements.

I couldn't wear makeup till I turned 16.
No not everyone her age is wearing it - and many who do look ridiculous.
Last year in high school the thing going around was 'kitty cat eyes' - it was pretty silly.

Additional:
Jill K - Interesting but I've never heard that "acrylic nails can be beneficial to already damaged natural nails".
I've Googled it and all I can find - even from dermatologist sites - is nothing but how damaging acrylic is to natural nails, nail beds, increases chance of fungus, infection, etc.
If you have a source I'd love to see it.

It can take months for nail damage to grow out.
I bruised my thumb nail working in a kitchen in May (little dark spot that started at the moon and slowly advanced toward the thumb tip) and just NOW (late Sept) it has finally grown out to where it's gone.

It sounds like your ex will make your daughter's life very uncomfortable if she has acrylic nails. While I think he is pretty over the top on this, he definitely has a right to an opinion/say on this kind of stuff. Especially since it is all "cosmetic" things - it would be different if he was preventing her from medical care or school events or something like that.

Get them removed before she goes to dad's house to spare her the embarrassment and humiliation of him taking her to do it. I will say that if she can stop biting her nails while having the acrylics on, she can stop biting them period (there isn't anything magical about acrylics - I've had them plenty of times). Get her some Lee press on nails for when she is at your house and have her take them off before she leaves to go to his house.

I would strongly suggest that you look into hiring a mediator to discuss some issues that are going to come up very soon since your ex sounds so "strict" like dating, make up, cell phone use, etc. It doesn't sound like he is someone you can work things out with directly and hiring a mediator can solve many issues before they even come up.

Good luck!

I would remove them now before he does and would not put them back on. Acrylics can wreak havoc on natural nails and she cannot have them put on and taken off over and over again. I agree with others that if she can stop biting for acrylics, then she can stop biting period. I also agree with others that you and your ex really need to have mediation prior to going into the teenage years. Your girl cannot be exposed to this constant back and forth between you two. The nails and makeup are just the tip of the iceberg. Maybe try to compromise that she will have no nails but lip gloss is ok. She still has some time left before "everyone" is wearing makeup and at her age, just the gloss will be fine.

In general, daytime makeup at any age should "enhance natural beauty". Acrylic nails and visible blush, don't really fall into that category. (And as others say below, acrylic nails can lead to all kinds of nail problems.)

Get your daughter some simple nailpolish, even a light or clear color that she could learn to do herself. Maybe a neutral skin powder, to help with oily skin. And some fun chapstick-type balms ("Lip Smackers", etc). Putting all of that together, creates a nice "no-makeup makeup" look for a girl her age.

I'm not into nails, but contrary to what others have posted I know that acrylic nails can be beneficial to already damaged natural nails. It allows the nails and nailbeds to heal and come back stronger. They were a good idea for your daughter's nail-bitten hands.

That doesn't help you ex's unreasonable reaction, however. Better to have them removed now in a calm fashion than by force during his freak out.

If her dad can't come to terms with a natural progression of autonomy, there may come a day where she decides to stop visiting him entirely. You may need to reconfigure the terms of custody and visitation.

I have to echo the moms on how acrylic nails can be damaging. I would personally have them removed - which will no doubt upset your daughter who I'm sure loves them.

Nail biting can be a sign of anxiety but also can be a kind of tic - which a lot of kids/teens can outgrow. I had a nephew who bit until they bled, and it was terrible.

If it's from stress - then I would address the stress and resolving those issues. Easier said than done I'm sure, but worth looking into.

As for you ex being demands and not being ok with this - I think on this, I'd just not get into it (at 13) and have the nails off. There was a question not long ago about whether dads had to be involved when girls shaved legs - and I don't think that's the case at all - but just because I think acrylics are a bad idea to get into (because you'll end up doing it over and over again, and that can weaken nails) - I'd just go with it this time, if it were me.

find a better way to prevent her from biting her nails, taker her to a therapist to talk about why she does it, and find other ways to cope with her stress that causes the biting. or get over to a higher quality salon that does the gel nail polishes and leave the acrylic behind. or see about jamberry nails, those helped my niece stop biting her nails when she was nervous

Acrylic nails do cause damage as some have stated. Sometimes bad habits are hard to break. The reason she bites her nails could be the relationship you and her dad have with each other. If you argue in front of her that could be the reason for the nail biting. It is a nervous habit.

Some dads just can't deal with their daughters growing up. The thought that she will be attractive to boys is something a lot of dads can't deal with especially when they remember how they behaved when they were younger. Try talking to your ex and let him know the stress that the 2 of you are putting on your daughter. Having her nails removed is even more stress because it will be done out of anger towards you. Good luck!!