How Old Were You or Was Your Daughter?

I never did the makeup thing - still don't. but I guess I would "allow" light makeup for my daughter in middle school if she was very interested.

I had to start shaving my under arms around age 8 (basically wenever they start having hair). I started shaving legs at 10 becuase I had very think, dark haired legs and I was embarrassed in summer in comparison to the other girls.

Paint nails - whenever she shows interest. A lot of girls think it's fun. As far as professional acryllics, I'd let my daughter do that in high school for special occasions (homecoming dance, etc) and as a regular habit - once she was able to pay for it with a job.

Dating - I'd be okay with big groups going to the movies or something in middle school, but would prefer to hold off on the one on one dating with my kids until high school.

Painting Nails: Age: 6
Period: Age 12
Shaving: Age 12 1/2
Makeup: 14 (but my step-mom felt bad cause I was plagued by acne so bad then)
Dress Code: I wasn't allowed to wear tight clothing, "goth" type (lol but my little sister tried), no navel. no short skirts.
Dating: 16, when I got my car. But I had a specific time limit, and they had to meet him and everything.

Painting Nails: Age 7 (not acrylics, just nail polish, I didn't get acrylics until I left home)
Period: Age 9
Shaving: Age 9/10 (my mum "showed me how" a few years later, but I was on swimteam... since she wouldn't let me I just shaved in secret)
Makeup: Highschool, except for chapstick
Dress Code: No navels. Everything else was fine.
Dating: Eh... iffy. There was no hard and fast rule, because all of my friends were guys. My parents expected me to tell them if at any point a friendship was progressing into "maybe want to date". My first *real* date was at 17.

My mother was not strict, but she did have rules. I was the third daughter so you can imagine the rules may have gotten a bit softer for me.......BUT, I still was allowed the grown up stuff only in stages.

Personally, I think your daughter is a bit young, but my perspective may be off because I have boys and times are changing.

Dating........I assume you don't mean now! In my experience with my boys the kids do start "going out" about 5th grade, which just means at school they kind of claim each other. Not really dating. Some parents seem to be in a bigger hurry to push their kids into relationships more than others. My thought wass to try and keep them back until 15 or 16. They really aren't ready emotionally and you don't want to let them get pushed into something they aren't able to handle. However, you can have kids over to your house (where you can keep an eagle eye) if they try to push the envelope. Until they are about 17 or older (depending on maturity) I believe you keep a close watch. Calling other parents to confirm what's going on when they are somewhere else,etc...

I don't think I would let her wear makeup before she is 12. Shave the legs before 11ish. The nails is another story......This is fairly innocent and could be fun for you to do with your daughter. Professionally, and acrylics is another story. I wouldn't allow the permanent stuff at this age for sure. In my mind if you went together to have your nails done once in awhile for a special occasion that would be fun (not acrylics!). But even if she was sixteen I would tell her she needed to save her own money if she wanted to have her nails done regularly, or if she wanted something like acrylics that I wasn't comfortable with. This would be my "picking my battles." I don't like it. I don't wanna pay for it, but it's your choice on your dime in this case. I don't care what the other girls are doing. To me it's just a lesson in finance/choices.

I hope this helps L.. My advice would be to go with your gut, pick your battles and stand your ground.

Best of Luck!

Not until I needed to .....for shaving.......so I would say 12 maybe.....as for makeup, not until 8th or 9th grade. And yes, we had the ones who where all prettied up too.......but if your daughter just doesn't look right and it makes her look older than she is or will cause issues with boys being more advanced.....then that is what the issue is here.

I explained to my daughter that if you look and dress a certain way, then boys think certain things......and she was too young for that plus she couldn't handle their attention..............I talked about what other people would think and associate her with things that might not be very nice............

So, stick to your guns, maturity plays a big part in this..........and I don't get my nails done because it's too expensive and on top of that, it's a pain.....they come off, which I've heard hurts and then you have to pay more to get them put back on......not worth the hassle, but then I'm a tom boy, so they wouldn't do me any good anyway.

Good Luck and take care.

For mama/daughter bonding, I've taken my 4 yo to get her toes polished once a month this summer. We don't do the pedi/mani... just a "polish change". (costs $6). Yes, I could paint her own toes but I'm currently preggers and bending down isn't comfortable. Besides, she likes to "go" somewhere and pick out the color.

I wouldn't want my tween daughter to get fake nails. Oy! Silly! The chemicals ruin the nails underneath and make them so weak/prone to ripping that, when you stop/take them off, you'll have to wait a good 4 months until the new, heathy nail grows out. Also, fake nails are prone to fungal infections if not cared for properly. Honestly, too much maintenance for a little girl and her mama to deal with!

I was allowed to wear a touch of makeup (just blush, a very light pink eye shadow, mascara) in middle school. It was probably so minimal that you could barely tell I had any on. I had a friend whose parents wouldn't let her wear any, so she would put some on in the school bathroom and wash it off before going home.... I don't think its helpful to be so strict on make-up that your child figures out ways to sneak around the rules. Better to compromise yourself (and teach your child compromise) that to encourage her to figure out "other ways".

Shaving I will let me daughter start when she becomes self conscious about it and asks to do it (within reason). My daughter is 6 and I've already noticed that she has hairy legs! I don't want her to be embarassed or worried about something that I think is so minor and easily solved so I will let her shave (or use nair or whatever) at the first sign that her leg hair is a problem for her.

Makeup I will let her wear a little bit no earlier than 7th grade. Luckily our elementary school goes through 6th grade and has a no makeup policy so I've got some back up on that one at least until 7th grade :-)! At 7th grade I'd be ok with a little lip gloss and maybe a little powder and blush but it will be subtle and I will absolutely take it away if there are any abuses on this one.

Acrylic nails I don't even do myself so I don't understand why anyone at any age wants them. No offense, but they just seem so cumbersome when I see other women with them and I don't have the time to be constantly getting them touched up. I swear every time I see my mother in law she says, oh I have to go get my nails done, one broke or is chipped. She comes to visit us from Chicago and we have to find her a nail salon because there's always something that needs to be done. Now just painting their natural nails I don't have a problem with as long as it's a relatively neutral color. I'm not going with black or neon colors but a soft pink I'm ok with.

Dating is a tough one. I had my first "boyfriend" in 4th grade. We only saw each other at school and holding hands on the playground was about it. In 7th grade I would meet my boyfriend at the high school football games with other friends and we went to skate night through school together and the school dances. I'd be ok with that for my daughter at that age. Unsupervised dates with just a boy and no other friends probably will wait until high school and we'll need to know the boy before we allow this.

Good luck,
K.

We never really had any set rules or ages for things in our house. I was never really into make up, nails, etc. I painted my nails myself a few times in middle school-high school. Free nail polish with a pair of flip flops, but I never bought nail polish. I have only ever had them done once and that was for my wedding. I had them done the day before and they were already chipping away by the wedding.

Shaving I think I started around 6th grade and again it was just kind of when I wanted to. I had an electric razor that got used once, but I grew up using a men's razor and still do. Don't know if it really works better or not, but it means we can use the same blades and just buy one big pack of them.

I didn't date until my senior year of high school. I could have dated younger, my older brother did. I just didn't have much interest. We didn't really have a dress code, I had some spaghetti strapped tanks I wore usually with shorts or jeans. And makeup I still hardly ever wear any and have no clue probably with most of it. If I do it is a little foundation and eye shadow, sometimes eye liner.

I'm sure that I did gymnastics 15-20 hours a week in middle school and high school has something to do with some of these. When you are in the gym 4 hours a night, there really isn't time for much else and I loved being in the gym and practicing. With the nails the longer ones didn't work to practice, so many of the girls painted their nails, but only one or two ever had acryllics and that was for prom or something similar.

Maybe for now would she be happy with you doing her nails, lip gloss, or picking out a new shirt if she wants to change part of her wardrobe. I think you have it right that a little bit can make both of you happy and then she knows she can talk to you and you can reach a compromise. If her nails are really important to her, maybe you can both go in for a mani and just get them painted. Hope this helps.

For my daughter's 13th birthday I got her her first set of nails. Made it a HUGE deal, invited 2 of her friends along, etc.

Before that tho, I did take her to get a mani/pedi when I could afford to get mine done. They'd clean her nails, moisturize and polish and she'd sit by me while I got my toes done and get her's painted as well. It was our mommy daughter time...I think the first time she was um...maybe 8? 9 maybe.

My daughter was 12 when she started shaving her legs and armpits, she has never worn ALLOT of make up so we were lucky but some moisturizer and maybe some eye liner at 12 or 13 is ok with me. I never colored her hair. I did however put a "wash" in it once to show her what it would look like if she colored it. That was around 15 or so. I simply won't pay for hair color on a teen with perfect hair. She was allowed to group date when she was 14 or 15...but that consisted of me takin her and dropping her off and no car dates til she was 16 as that is a right of passage and something to look forward to. And she never went out of the house in some thing that was inappropriate AND I never let her take a backpack with her ANYWHERE because her friends would pack a "change of clothes" in them and well...what you leave in better be what you come home in.

Now I know that sounds strict but I have a VERY open relationship with my older children and I have never been afraid of them doing something out of line but being human as they are, didn't give them the opportunity to do so either.

Of course, she is YOUR daughter...and only YOU know what her limits should be. Mine are just axamples of how I handled things...and she'll be 18 in January and has turn out to be an AWESOME young adult. Maybe I did something right...lol

I'm sending good thoughts your way.

I was allowed to wear makeup very early and don't plan to allow my little girl to do the same. The norm these days should not be the norm so I am going to offer my suggestions instead.

It is important to take care of their skin early (hard to start that habit later) so before allowing makeup, they need to learn to take care of their skin properly...tween years are perfect for this. A regular manicure is ok with appropriate nail color (at any age). Dress code can be stylish but if it is revealing, an undershirt or leggings is required.

There is my two cents...hope it helps you.

It all depends on how you personally choose to balance things. Picking your battles is a big one....some things are not worth the battle.

Open lines of communication are so key. I don't know about boys but girls go through emotional and hormonal changes and sometime I don't think they know which way is up. I remind myself when daughter is in a "mood" that she is growing, LOL. I give her space. Most of the time, she starts talking and I listen

Our daughter is almost 16 yr old. She was shaving in elementary school. I don't put an age on that. My idea is if they are self conscious about something, address it.

We've painted nails and toenails since she was very young. I allowed her to get acrylic nails for the spring formal last year but she had to take them off within 3 days because she plays the violin and you can't have long or acrylic nails to do that. She told me later that she did not like the acrylics. They messed her nails up pretty badly, as they did mine as well and I won't wear them.

I don't have a "dress code" other than no butt cheeks hanging out or shirts too low. She is captain of the cheer squad and held to a higher responsibility at school and that helps me as well :)

Make up,,, she LOVES makeup. She does not wear too much. Actually a couple of moms I know use my daughter as the example of not to much and just enough for their own daughters. She has been asked to help some girls with makeup.

Hair, she does have highlights. This is the 2nd round of highlights and they are not cheap. It is one of those things that is not worth the battle. It is hair.

She has met friends at the mall and movies since 7th grade I guess. We carpool them. She is quite picky with boys and has more boy "friends" than girl friends. She has limited interest in dating. She did have 1 car date with a boy (Senior) about 3 weeks ago.

I think we need to let go (as hard as that is) and let them learn responsibility and independence. I won't always be around to guide her and I try to alllow her as much independence now as possible so she learns. I don't want to be so strict that when she gets to college she goes wild and crazy because she never experienced any of that.

It is a balance, you don't want them growing up too fast, that already happens. I try to cherish each stage.

Good luck!

Wow, this is a great question! As a mom of 2 little girls, I've wondered about this too. Things seem so different now than when I grew up. I did not get my nails done professionally until my prom in high school, and then not again until my wedding! I also don't remember wearing much make up before high school. Shaving may have started in 7th or 8th grade? This is a tough one.... my husband is very much against little girls acting like "ladies". He doesn't want our 5 year old to wear make up for dance recitals, etc. She did get a pedicure once at a kids spa on vacation with a friend just for fun, and I'm taking her for a manicure next month because she's standing up in a wedding. I think it's fun to be "girly" without going overboard. I tell her that looking "fancy" is for special occassions, and we don't get our nails done all the time! For an older girl, maybe send the same message and explain that she'll have to wait til she's old enough to earn money to pay for nails, etc. herself if she really wants them done. Good luck... I look forward to reading your other responses!

My daughter is 7. I do let her have chap stick or untinted lip gloss, but she doesn't wear it out of the house. As for the nail thing, I take her with me for pedicures sometimes. It is a fun mother-daughter thing to do, and they don't do the entire treatment on young girls. It is more of a soak your feet and get your toes painted thing for her. The acryllics will ruin her nails...make sure she understands that! If she wants to do it when she can pay for it herself as a late teen, then I say let her then. Right now you are the one buying her clothes...that shouldn't be an issue. You buy the clothes that you say are OK. As for shaving, I don't think there is a "right" time. Her body is going to change when it is ready, so when there is hair under her arms I would think that would be the time to show her how to use a razor. Dating is going to depend on how mature she is and how much you can trust her. Plus who she is going out with! My suggestion is to use your gut feelings on a lot of these things. You will know when the time is right for your daughter :-)

I shaved my legs when I entered jr high, 7th grade.
I think if you can afford pedis and manis, you and your daughter should share that time together. Nice nails are always something that makes you feel better.... I don't think there is an age limit for that.
As far as makeup is concerned, do your daughter (and your pocketbook a favor) and tell her how beautiful she is naturally and allow some lipgloss but that's it until she's 15. That makes the 15th birthday something to look forward to. I was 16 when I was allowed to go on dates. That made the 16th birthday something to look forward to as well. Use birthdays as your tool to keep things in line while YOU learn to adjust to her growing up.
Keep in mind that those numbers change for every child and mom, because you know your daughter and you know what you can and cannot live with or trust her with depending on her maturity. I would also use keeping her grades up as a tool to allow her some of the "woman" benefits she's asking for. You always need a "carrot" to keep things in perspective.

My daughter is almost 10 and we have the same argument. I feel she is too young to get fake nails even the $ tree ones. I do allow her to paint her nails with restrictions- studies come first. I have had fake nails once at age 46.(now)
My mother took me to a Mary Kay consultant when I was between 12 and 13 to learn how to maintain my skin-acne control and I never had acne issues. My daughter got her first skin care kit two weeks ago due to her first pimple.
Make up was gradual but I had to be conservative. I was instructed from the start that I had to look respectful and if it were obvious or outlandish my makeup would be taken away from me.....could not leave house without approval of the make up. My greatest compliment was when a friend asked if I had make up on or not as they could not tell I had it on.
As I got older I started wearing eye liner and mascara more so it is more noticable but I am still conservative in my make up useage as will my daughter. She has worn lip gloss for a year or so light colors or natural look only. I let mascara for weddings only.
She tells me some of the girls at school wear everything fake nails included. I told her they are not my daughter. She gets to do thing others don't get to so it is ok with her.

L.,

Good luck with this one.

I have noticed girls are maturing faster than we did years ago.

I have an 11-12 yr old. She has begun shaving as she asked for direction and help. I know she has not gotten her period yet, but also ids the onoy one in her class that has not. (she is the oldest)

As for the superficial stuff- nails...at least 15 would be a good age. As nail places usually require mom to be present for anything younger. Younger is your choice. Painting nails is really a preference, so may young girls are marketed nail polish to them as little preschoolers they will find it if they can.
I have 2 rules on dating....not before 18 (house joke) but with someone we know, at least their parents and where/when returning. We haven't hit this hurdle yet... check back I will let you know how it turns out. Our dress code... is modest with some fashion fun. We are not nuns, but modest is a requirement. We do approve all she wears out, as we buy it. We have certain items she know ie need a tank top with that, a skirt is too short....

Good Luck again,

F

my daughter has had a manicure and pedicure done, but only painting of the nails and toes (she's 7). really no girl should have them done (with acrylic) until 13 or 15, depending on maturity level later than that..she claims a bf but i told her only talking no hugging, kissing or holding hands (puppy love only)

at home she can wear just about anything as long as her shorts come to her finger tips and her belly and lower back doesn't show unless we're at the lake or on a summer vaction then i MIGHT let her wear a little more revealing halter top but that's rare

I was allowed to paint my own nails anytime I wanted, but I couldn't get them professionally done until I could pay for it myself. As for shaving, I had really dark hair and I wasn't allowed to shave until I was in 6th grade. It was embarrassing and I got made fun of a lot. I think when it comes to shaving, it should be when it starts to become a self-confidence issue, not necessarily an age. I wasn't allowed to wear makeup until 8th grade, but I had to save up my allowance and buy it myself. I wasn't allowed to date until 16. We didn't really have a dress code, because no one tried to push the issue. We were happy in shorts and dresses that went to our knees and shirts that covered our body. My daughter is only 18 months, so I don't have to deal with this yet, but the way kids are "growing up", I'm sure by 3, I'm going to be facing the same issues. My plan now, is to let her get her nails done for a special mommy/daughter treat (just painting, no acrylics), shaving when it becomes an issue for her, dating at 16 (possible group outings with boys earlier). Makeup probably junior high, but it will be monitored to be natural colors.

L., i am a red hed, and my eyelashes look non-existent without mascara! I always hated that as a young girl. I can remember being in 7th grade & sneaking makeup to school & putting it on there because my mom told me "No". :) What a rebel. Lol. I now have 3 girls, my oldest being 17...she was born with lush, dark eyelashes and never really cared about makeup until she hit high school. At 15-16, we started allowing her to wear a small amount. She chose some eyeliner & eyeshadow. As far as shaving, she started doing that around her freshman year too, but she is active in track & cross country and they wear shorts all the time. As you asked, all this was done in phases-not all at once! As for the dating thing, she was a late bloomer in the 'womanhood' process, and showed no interest in boys up until now (thank God!). Luckily for us, she is not 'boy crazy' though, and has a level head on her shoulders. She's been on one date so far, and that was prom this past spring. Where, i may add, she wore full make-up and looked beautiful. :)

I have an almost 11 year old daughter who shows no interest in makeup, boys, or leg shaving, but is obsessed with nail polish! I do allow her to paint her nails. Recently, grandma & grandpa took them back to school shopping and gave the girls $50 to spend on whatever they choose...guess what my 11 year old did? Promptly dropped $25 on a pedicure! (Her first ever.) She has been bugging me for 2 years to get her ears pierced, but i told her she had to wait until she was 12, just like her big sister had to do.

Having girls can be tough. I have one boy, who is 6.5, and then my youngest child is a 3 year old little girl who wants to mimic everything her big sisters do! I'm going to have my hands full for many years to come! (And many gray hairs!) Lol. Whatever you choose to do is ultimately up to you, but in my book, there is no rush to have your kids grow up sooner than they need to. Slowly introducing things has been the rule in our household. Oh, and about the dress code question? No tight 'skinny' jeans allowed, and no cut-off short shorts. You can still look beautiful by dressing modest yet tasteful & 'hip'. Clothes must fit with a little bit of breathing room. :)

Fake nails seem so pointless on a girl that young. If it would make her happy, you could get her a bottle of polish (help her pick a color that isn't too scary) and paint her nails at home. As for makeup, I wasn't allowed to wear any until high school, with the exception of very special occasions I was allowed lip gloss & very pale neutral eyeshadow. I have a niece who is growing up too fast (got boobs at 8 years old) and she was thrilled to be allowed to wear lip gloss, even though it was so sheer you couldn't tell she had any on.

You might need to find out what is really going on. If there are girls in her class who are making her feel pressured to look a certain way, then these problems are going to keep coming up as their parents let them do more & more things too young. Maybe have some talks with her about confidence, try to find things she likes about herself so she doesn't feel like she needs to be more like these girls.

I grew up a bit of a tom boy so had little interest in pressing the "girly" things with my parents. I do have a much older half sister so keeping me from certain things was impossible. I was forever getting into her make-up and polishes. In my "tweens" I got some of that play makeup and she started giving me make-up tips. I could wear all I wanted in the house but had to wash if I was going out somewhere. At about 11 I started to shave, I have very dark hair and was teased to the point of tears. At 13 My parents pierced my ears. Around 14 and 15 I was allowed to wear make-up out with approval, about then I was also allowed to group date. At 18 I had my nails professionally done and they lasted a couple of days. Even at 18 I kept picking at them and pulled them off.

My little one just turned 4 and I bought her some play make-up this past birthday, just a crazy pink-pink blush and flavored lip gloss. I've just made it a play thing, a special treat when playing dress up. I even paint her nails. Depending on your daughter's age you might be able to ask why she wants nails and make-up, if it's to "fit in". Maybe you can compromise, take her to get her nails pampered and just a painted. Maybe even begin teaching her how to use make up to look fresh and natural. A very little bit here and there in calm colors might keep her happy.

Good luck, peer pressure can be rough.

I was an only child with pretty strict and money conscious parents. I got my first manicure when I was 20, and then only because a new nail salon had opened up and gave everyone in my office a coupon for a free introductory manicure! I didn't have another one for another 4 years. I could see doing a kiddie manicure for fun with my daughters if they were interested, but don't get suckered into anything like acrylics or you will be locked into going once every 2 weeks forever at $20 a pop. My daughters are 9 and 7 and I work hard at keeping them young. We go to Catholic school which makes my job easier -- we wear uniforms every day so there aren't many requests for clothes I would call inappropriate, and they are not allowed to wear any makeup, nail polish, or jewelry to school at all. I love this since I don't have to be the bad guy and I get what I want. It isn't easy, but I think it is worth it to keep them young for as long as possible. If their expections are high at 9 or 10, what will they want for prom? For a wedding? How will they know what is realistic? How will they understand what things cost and how hard you have to work to get them? Good luck!

My parents raised us on one military income so things were tight. I got my nails and hair done for the first and only time for my junior prom. Make-up? Lip gloss around sixth grade, eyeliner if I was lucky, and I stole my mom's razor to shave. Full makeup when I could afford to buy it on my own (hair and nails the same).

I have a neice who just turned fifteen. She's spoiled (only child). She got four different colors of contacts for her birthday, her hair has been colored and highlighted since she turned twelve and has looked 18 since then due to makeup. I don't believe 12 is near old enough and I think her parents are setting her up to grow up WAAAYYY to fast. Older guys hit on her and she is NOT emotionally mature enough to handle herself.

But....to each their own.

Hi L.,
I'm not a mom, but my experiences were:

My mom and dad divorced when I was 8ish--they were on and off from about the age of 5. So mom raised me, my brother (2yrs older) and my sis on her own and did a GREAT job--we all turned out very grounded, respectful, etc.---I think.

I was probably about 10ish when I noticed some hair under my arms. My older (12 yrs. older) sister 'took me under her wing', bought me a really cute lavender electric razor with a ladybug on it and she helped me shave my legs and underarms for the first time. My mom walked by the bathroom and I think she said something like, "oh my little girl is growing up".

Another time, I came home after school with a sweet tart "lipstick" candy from the ice cream truck. It was shortly after that that big sis took me to Bullock's dept. store and bought me my first very pale frosted pink lipstick and light brown mascara. I was in jr. high at the time (12/13 yrs old). I did all my own 'experimenting' after that. My mom colored her hair, so I experimented with that. I used the paint on frosting kit myself--I was in high school (16/17 yrs old). My mom never really said much about my 'experiments' If my mom didn't like anything I did she would subtly suggest things to me---I appreciated her subtleness. My mom was a very kind spirit. I lost her when I was 20---she was only 50. She passed from cancer.

Let's see, what else...Oh we used to make painting our nails a "social event". My mom stored some assorted bottles of nail poilish on the kitchen windowsill and when girlfriends would come over (my sis' and/or my mom's) we would sit around the kitchen table and paint our nails. I think painting nails is a very "girly" thing to do and I often see little girls with their tiny little nails painted--I think it's cute harmless fun.

I went on my first date when I was about 13/14. My mom drove me and my 'boyfriend" to the movies and picked us up. I didn't really do much dating after that first experince--it was usually just a group of us going out together. I had friends a year older so some of them drove first.

I got my first job when I was 16--bagging groceries at the store where we shopped. I'm still working at my market job as a manager (celebrated 30 yrs. of service last April). As I approched the age to drive my mom suplemented my driver's ed. in school with some private driving lessons---a good way to go IMO. Having a job afforded me the opportunity to buy my mom's Ford Granada. I paid her $300 for it and she bought a new car.
I was the first in my group to get a car. I was given 'boundries' by my mom and I pretty much stuck to them. I only strayed once and would you know it that was the time that the gas gauge in the car decided to go haywire. It was showing I had an empty tank!! I asked all my girlfriends (3 in car w/ me) what I should do--how could I explain to my mom if I ran out of gas 10 miles outside of my boundries?? We stopped and got gas and gauge went up--whew. I think I told her about this before she passed away--and she just laughed.

Incidentally, my brother's 16yo daughter just started driving about 6 months ago and she's already gotten a ticket for an illegal left turn, and carrying 3 friends with her--amounted to about $500 I'm told. She just started a new job and I imagine my bro is going to have her pay that tix from her own pocket. Hopefully she'll learn from this ONE.

As for dress code, my mom took me clothes shopping for school and she had input as to what I would buy. I'm sure we butted heads on somethings I wanted to pick out, but she was pretty good at compromising. Appartenty (according to older sis) I put together some outlandish outfits when I was young. Not risque, just flashy. And mom never discouraged me.

So there you have it--probably a little more detailed than I could have been but hope you or someone else can take something away from it. Good luck with your adventures and challenges of being a mom ( - :

ummmm....21? 22? My parents were teachers and we didn't have money to waste on something that would chip off in 3 days:(

I did not have children when I was younger because I did not know how I would handle all those things. When I was in my late 30's I discovered a church that actually taught (and the people live)standards.

They have a little booklet, and anyone can get one, they may even be free. It is called "for the Strength of Youth" and it sets up guidelines for just about everything pertaining to youth.

Yes, I do have some kids, I adopted them and my two youngest are teenagers, 15 & 16, the oldest is married and gone. We sat down with this booklet and told our kids that as long as they upheld the standards, we would allow them the privilages they wanted.

it's so hard to raise moral children in this immoral world. My kids get support from their youth group; I'm one of the leaders so I have seen the girls grow closer and get support and advice from each other. I don't know how people raise children without a firm foundation.
email me if I can be of further help.

Anything that requires use of any chemicals I would wait until high school or beyond. These chemicals are not good for a child's growing body. The doctors do not know the lasting effects on chemicals to the body.They say things you do as a child impact you way into adulthood. SO let your child be a child as long as you can.

I take my 7 year old to get mani/pedi's with me. It's great bonding. We don't do fake nails, well she doesn't but she gets pampered and gets to pick some polish and feel special, and it's a nice time. her ears are pierced. She watched her older step sister get it done, and even when she cried, she still wanted to do it, so i let her. however she is a very responsible young lady. She picks her hair cuts, and recently went REALLY short. but it's her hair, she's the one that washes and brushes it, so as long as it's clean and kept, it's up to her. (this was also the first time she was brave enough to voice an opinion to a stranger, so all the more reason to give in, she is really unassertive normally)
Great tip for shaving from another mom i know, she let her 6th grader use trimmers, rather than a razor, since she has to wear shorts for gym class and was embarrassed. it made the hair short enough that others can't see it, without letting her shave just yet.
For me it's all about meeting in the middle, maybe fake nails is going to far, but a trip to the salon may be fun for you both, a face full of makeup is a bit much, but some tinted lip gloss and some shimmery eyeshadow might make her really happy without going to far......you fight to hard and she could very well find a way to do much worse behind your back.

I started to steadily wear make-up when I was about 10 or 11. It was mostly because I had bad skin and wanted to cover it up, but I wore foundation & powder, lip gloss, eyeshaow and mascara.
I started to shave at 8. I was super hairy. =)
I started to wear nail polish around the same time of make-up. But I do have to admit I used to take my niece and have her nails painted while I got my manicure. She was 3 when we started. Sometimes I would paint them myself but it was fun for her to go get them done with me. (I plan on doing the same with my baby).
Generally I was (still am) a jeans and tee kind of girl. So that was most of my wardrobe. I was also allowed to date when I was 14. I was a mature, responsible kid. I also went through puberty very very young. I started my cycle when I was 8, and I had size DD breasts when I went into 7th grade. So a lot of people are shocked that I started shaving at 8, but when you have all those hormones, and such, you get hairy, it seems, over night, and I was self conscious about it.
Most of this I will probably allow my daughter to do, just depends on how responsible she is, or how much interest she shows in something. I will suggest one thing though. Considering taking your daught to a professional make artist to show your daughter how to put on age appropriate make-up (usually it's a really clean and fresh look, not heavy with bright colors).

I started shaving when I growing hair under my arms. I was age 11 when I got my period so I assume it was around the same time. We weren't able to date or wear makeup until 10th grade and I had my nails professionally done until I had a job and could afford it.

We were raised by my mom so I lived in hand-me-downs (including my boy cousin's clothes).

I do have a 3 year old daughter and she LOVES getting her nails done, so I do paint her nails about once a week. They also have kid makeup and I've purchased kid makeup kits for the 6 year old girls on the block and their moms are fine witht them playing with it and putting it on.

So, yeah, times are going to change and the age is more likely lower now a days, you just have to figure out what's best overall. I'd stay away from the fake nails, as I beleive they do more damage than good, but you can bring her in a salon to get her nails done.

Good luck.

lol!, i went to prom before i did that, the girls are getting all gussied up these days, I feel my daughter is getting left out because she doesnt have a sparkly cell phone, a face book, and pants with writing on the butt ....now acrylic nails (which by the way are terrible for your real nails)

Id compromise and get her a nice manicure set and some new polish, and you guys could make an hour of it on sunday nights. My daughters friends were getting their hair dyed and permed so i gave her very thin highlights, it worked to satiate the jealousy monster.

I was in 6th or 7th grade when I started to shave> I could paint my nails and toes whenever (had older sibling) and it was not a big deal however FAKE nails?? That is a privelge to have ...not a requirement and the parents who let their kids who are under 10 have them need help. I dont have fake nails and have never had fake nail..personally I think they make women look really trashy and ghetto.(maybe a better choice of words would be high maintenance)
Dating for me was after I could drive (16.5) We did not have a family dress code but I will say that my mom never bought me inappropriate clothes. I could pick stuff out but nothing that looked like I was going to a club. Being that your daughter is so young, it should be your way until she is about 16 or 18..however let her have a choice, but you have the final say.
BTW I am 30( not sure if that helps but you never know)

I thought my mother's rules were reasonable and fair, considering she was a teen in the 50s.
At 12-13 I was allowed to go out unchaperoned with a group of friends to movies and the mall and allowed to wear minimal make up (lip gloss, nail polish) to school.
At 13 I started shaving my legs, around the same time I got my period. I started a skin care regimin about the same age and was allowed to wear a little more make up.
At 14 I was allowed to go on a date and attend school dances with my friends. I didn't have a curfew, but I had to be home at a reasonable time, depending on the activity I was involved in. I took on a punk look, so my make up during high school was a lot of eye liner and dyed/shaved hair. I was a crazy looking kid lol.
At 16 I had to get a job and all allowance money stopped. She paid for my school uniform and bought me some clothes for birthdays and Christmas after that, but the rest I had to buy for myself.

I never dressed provocatively and I attended Catholic schools until I graduated from college. That said, I was sexually active very young (starting at age 14) and hid it from her well, in spite of her rules such as keeping my bedroom door open when boys were over. I was well educated about sexual matters (both at school and at home) and used birth control. Maybe I was too young? It's water under the bridge at this point, I don't have any regrets.

My daughter is 3 and I wouldn't say I have them professionally done, but for special occasions we do go to the salon and only have them painted. Nothing else except polish. They don't clip, file, or anything else.. just polish.

She loves her nails painted and it is a special treat to have someone else do them. Also, I only ever get pedicures never have liked the fake nails.

My daughter just turned 11 and she got make up for her birthday. She wears lip gloss, blush, and a little skin sparkle and purfume. She has been wearing nail polish probable since she was three or four and she has been shaving for about 6 months now. We don't have a dress code per say but we don't allow anything that I feel is short or to flashy. That being said she does shop at the popular stores. I think it kinda has to do with maturity. Trust your gut.

Fake nails? No way. However, for a special occasion or her birthday, I see nothing wrong with taking her for a manicure or just having her own nails painted. My 14 year old just used her allowance to have her toenails painted and even with "watermelon seeds" painted on her big toes, it was only $7.
If she gets an allowance, let her save up to have her nails "painted". It will make her feel special and I don't think there's anything wrong with a 9 year old having painted nails. I paint my 6 year old's sometimes just for fun.

CVS has kid fake nails that are self-stick. They come in various patters and were recently on sale. Normal price is about $6 for package of 24 "nails". Might this be a good compromise? My 10 year old has them and sticks them on for an afternoon of dress-up and then takes them back off. To re-stick them, we use clear nail polish.
She also uses make-up for dress-up but to school only colored lip-balm. To the school concerts she wore a little very very light pink eye shadow, a little blush and lip balm but under the bright lights on the stage you could not see anything. Up close you could see a little glittering on her eyelids.
However, I have heard of girls inviting just a few friends and getting nails and hair done (not cut, just styled), my hair salon even has a party set up for that, including tea and cake.

I see you have a ton of answers to your question. I hope you "stick to your guns" on the manicure. I don't think a girl should have her nails professionally done until she is earning her own money. This is a luxury and one that many/most adults don't (or shouldn't) spend their money on. It can lead to problems with the nails as well.

When you get acrylic nails, the natural nail underneath is scratched down in order to provide a roughed surface for the fake nail to be glued. If you don't keep getting fills when your nail starts to grow out it looks irregular and if you peel off the acrylics when they start to become weakened the nail underneath is frail and fragile.

Getting fake nails is for women who aren't going to be doing much with their hands except holding a purse or waiving at folks. They are not for young girls who will be trying to write in school or play afterwards with their friends. The nails must be protected and one trip on the monkey bars would cause damage to them or cause one to pop off painfully.

The only times I got acrylics were before my senior prom, when I got married and whenever I was involved in another's wedding as a bridesmaid or maid of honor. Fake nails are for fancy occasions. Basically whenever I had to go out all dolled up. They only reason I did this is because I'm a nail biter and I don't have any natural nail to work with. It destroys the illusion of beauty to have fancy hair and dress and then to see stubs of nails that have been chewed with nervousness.

I would explain to your daughter that acrylics ruin the natural nail and it takes a very long time for all the damaged parts to grow out completely and be trimmed away so if she feels like getting a treat, I'd take her for a manicure where they buff and polish her very own nails and leave off the fakes until she is in dire need of them, like sometime before she has to put herself on display publicly in an elegant manner.

Nothing like a good manicure to make a girl feel spoiled. She can pick out her own polish and everything. Of course I didn't get my first manicure until I was 19 and about to go interviewing for jobs. As for my own daughter, we don't have the discretionary income for such frivolity. If she was desperate for a nail job I'd buy a $3 bottle of polish she picked out and do her nails myself. I'd get heated towels and warm her hands, rub them down with lotion. I'd give her the works so far as is possible for a non professional to get away with.

I was 16 when I started wearing blush and tinted lipgloss. Eyeshadow, mascara, etc was for high school dances. Painted nails in 7th grade. No professional nails until I was in college. Never saw the point of it until I was in a friend's wedding. Shaving- 8th grade (but my friend and I did this by secretly buying disposable shavers with allowance money). I thought my mom was crazy for not letting me shave. I have dark hair and it is humiliating to say the least at that age. Especially in gym class when people can see your underarms when ever you lift them. I started dating at 16. Co-ed overnight sleepovers with parents present in the home at 16. But to be fair, my group was sort of silly and clean cut. As far as dress code, I could wear minis, but my tops had to have sleeves. I wasn't allowed a strapless dress, not even for prom. I wasn't comfortable baring that much skin anyway. Then again, it was the early 90s and grunge flannels, doc Martens and long skirts were in. Parents aren't that lucky in this day and age.