At What Age.....

I agree, it is hard to know these days. My daughter, who is now 28, got her ears pierced at a young age, probably around 8 or 9. My granddaughter has had her ears pierced since she was three. I don't think there's anything wrong with ear piercing at a young age, as long as they wear age-appropriate earrings. As for leg shaving and make-up, I think that comes a little later. As I recall, leg shaving was around 12 and minimal make-up at 13 or 14. I am raising my granddaughter and these are the ages I have in mind for this type of stuff. I believe 7 is definitely too young for make-up and leg shaving but I do let my granddaughter play dress-up with make-up and if we have to go somewhere like the store, I let her wear her dress-up stuff including the make-up. I think when people see her, they realize she's "playing" and I haven't heard any negative comments or seen any strange looks. they love to play grown-up!

I had to wait until age 13 to pierce my ears, because my mom wanted me old enough to take care of them on my own, but I don't think age 7 is inappropriate to wear small studs. I think make up should wait until much older (12-13) and should still be a minimal amount. If you daughter wants to shave her legs- let her use a safe electric shaver. Is it possible that someone made a comment to her about her hairy legs? I think if that is the case then let her shave them if that will make her feel more confidant.

I have a 3 year old that just got her ear pierced and a 12year old , 13 in 30 days ,in which I insisted shave her arm pits at the first site of dark hair and I went ahead and let her shave her bottom of her legs.. I believe she was just about 12 when we started this. She is not allowed to wear anything but lipgloss till 13.. She is in 8th grade and its all new with the boys, this is where I'm freaking out...

Dear K.,

I agree 100% with Deloris and Angi....and please don't mention to your daughter that YOU think her legs are TOO hairy. Give your daughter a time line of when things will be happening for her, something to look forward to, starting with getting her ears pierced now and the other things later, much later. Help her to appreciate her childhood, it won't last too long.

Blessings.....

Hi K.,

They want to grow up soooo fast, don't they? Other than the ear piercing, we waited until after our oldest daughter started her period before we let her shave and when she turned 16, we allowed her to wear makeup. We know that some kids start with the makeup earlier than that, but we didn't allow that. She turns 18 tomorrow and never really had an issue with the makeup thing. Now she wears it, but not over the top and some days she doesn't wear it at all. We pierced their ears when they were very young.

Good luck and God bless

I have an 8 year old daughter who is 50% tomboy and 50% princess with no gray zone: she'll spend an hour fixing her hair just so and then put on her brother's baseball uniform (he's also 8). She has been interested in fixing her hair and makeup since she was about 5. One day they were both in my office in the afternoon and I had given them markers to draw with and they were drawing at a little table in our warehouse. I went to check on them and she had used the markers to "put makeup on" her brother. He had bright blue marker on his eyelids, pink marker on his cheeks and red marker on his mouth. If he had had longer hair, I'm sure she would've added braids. It was absolutely hysterical! She told me she was trying to make him look like me! Good Lord, I hope I didn't look that bad - LOL!

When I get dressed up to go out and put on makeup, sometimes I help her put some on, too, and curl her hair. It's play to her, but it's also how she learns. I usually do my own nails, but when I treat myself to a manicure, I take her, too. It's special mommy time and she loves it. She never wears makeup to school, except lip gloss and nail polish if we've done our nails, but she loves to dress up at home and I let her. I loved my mom dearly, but she never taught me anything about doing my hair and makeup and I learned a lot of things the hard way. I want my daughter to learn to experiment at home so she learns what's nice and natural and what's too much. She has better judgement now than most teenagers do! I also don't want it to be the forbidden fruit.

When she was 7, she asked if she could get her ears pierced. I, along with most of my friends, were forbidden from getting our ears pierced when I was about 14, so we all froze our ears with ice cubes and stuck needles in each others' ears one weekend and dealt with our parents' wrath afterward. I was scared my parents would ground me for a month because my parents thought it was very lower class for girls to get their ears pierced, so I glued some little pearls on my ears with nail polish and went home that way. My parents flipped, but I guess felt they couldn't change it, so calmed back down. The next day, I got my friends to pierce mine. It's amazing we didn't all have lopsided ears and infections. Today is so different. Pierced ears are the norm and many children get them pierced when they're babies. We decided she could get her ears pierced for her 8th birthday. Ironically, she chickened out, but about two months later decided she was ready, so we did it. When she wants new earrings, I give her options of pretty little ones that she might like. I'm guiding her by giving her choices I'm comfortable with, but not dictating which ones she decides of the choices I give her. It works.

I grew up in a community (and time -- I'm an older mom) where everything was forbidden fruit and it didn't stop us -- it just made us sneak around behind our parents' backs. Shaving our legs was no different. None of us were "allowed" to shave our legs, but we all did and ironically, our parents didn't seem to notice. In fact, most of us shaved them the first time around 12 and then realized how much work it was and didn't do it very often until we were a little older. I wax my legs and my daughter asked what I was doing one day and I told her. She wanted to try it too. After one swipe with the machine, she was done with wanting that for awhile -- it hurt!

That's a long-winded answer to your question. My friendly advice is to relax and let her be the curious little girl that she is. It's normal for her to want to emulate you and it's a great way to have fun together, help her learn more about being a girl and to provide guidance. She'll listen and learn today; when she's a teenager she may not.

S.

Girls tend to be interested in things "grown up" far before boys are.

My daughter shaved her armpits when puberty made it necessary.
I battled with her to wait on her legs until she was 13 (because although she had hair, it was light - not dark). She (disobeyed and) naired them at 12. She also used this sandpaper type thing that worked great if your legs have hair on them already (not that good for maintenance). Now she uses the Venus Shaver.
We took her with a friend to get her ears pierced at 13 as a celebration of teenage-hood. At seven she wore the ear stickers they sell for girls without pierced ears. Later she got a double ear piercing IF she agreed to avoid any other body piercings until college. She agreed.
Makeup was out completely until high school. Although for a special family dinner or something I would put tinted lip gloss. At the suggestion of a friend we followed this pattern in high school for makeup:
9th grade - ONE item only (mascara, OR lip stick, OR eye shadow, OR blush) ONLY ONE item
10th grade - ADD ONE item (TWO total) (mascara and lipstick, OR mascara and blush, etc.)
11th grade - ADD ONE item
12th grade - ADD ONE item
Truly, by the time she got to 12th grade she wore less makeup and could really care less. Nowadays, there are days she goes with full blown makeup and days she goes with NO makeup. It's never overdone and I value my friend's suggestion (she did the same with her daughter).
Nail polish was neutral in color until high school.
Clothing cannot show cracks or crevices in her body. So, no boobs, belly, hips, or butt skin showing (and certainly NO underwear showing!)

Hope that helps! Try to keep her perspective on what other people see or could perceive by what she wears. Be pure in thought and action.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.

Enjoy the challenges of raising a daughter, the rewards are worth it when the battles subside ;0)

Mom of 4: 19yr girl, 11yr boy, 6 yr boy, baby due 10/1/08

My daughter is 13 and just within the past 6 months was allowed to start shaving her legs. She's not allowed to wear make-up till she's 15, and not allowed to date till she's 16. (Neither are her brothers on the dating.)

As for her ears, I had them pierced when she was 3 months old, so that part of the issue hasn't been a factor for us. However, the TYPES of earrings she's allowed to wear still must be small earrings. No big hoops or big dangly earrings allowed.

Her interest in most of this stuff though started a while ago LOL she'd go through periods of wanting to mess with all that stuff, then go back to being the bit of a tomboy she is.

My daughter (now 23) got her ears pierced on the 13th birthday to celebrate her "becoming a teen-ager." I felt it was important to reserve a special "growing up" privilege to mark this passage in her life. Until then I bought a supply of "stick on" earrings (I hope they're still around), and she could wear them whenever she wanted.
I bought her pretend make up and she could use it at home (this worked in the younger years) and let her and her friends use my make up to try out at home when they were 11 and 12.
She started shaving her legs when she began her period (at 12 years). I don't think that a younger child has the maturity to keep up the shaving week after week, so if your daughter's hair on her legs is continuing issue for her, there might be some kind of non-toxic bleach that she could use.
We also had a great set of nail polishes (pretty toxic, but I don't know of alternatives). My daughter was free to use those, with certain rules: good ventilation (preferably out doors), and with a plastic tablecloth to protect from spillage. There were also some fingernail stickers available, and she had fun with those.
All young children want to experiment with what they see around them, and once your daughter's curiosity is satisfied she will probably loose interest until she is old enough to maintain these practices daily.
You could also do some fun mother-daughter manicures and pedicures together (choose a well ventilated salon!), select hand lotions, shampoos etc together. Take advantage of her interest in grooming and in women's practices to develop good habits for the rest of her life.
Have fun! G.

This is a great time to make some decisions about this sort of thing (shaving, pierced ears, Hair colors/cuts, sleepovers, dating, cell phones, tatoos etc. etc.) and then share them with her. "We have decided that you can get your ears pierced when you are twelve" These are kind of arbitrary dates/times but it gives you a position to negotiate from. It's not to say that you might not cave in on stuff as the years pass, but it allows you to remind her, when she's begging/pleading/getting mad that you had already talked about it and remind her of the timeline you set. Kids job is to push back and test limits and it's WAY easier to hold your ground when you've discussed and decided in advance.

My child's kindergarten teacher had some good advice: save some experiences for when your children are in their teens so they have something to look forward to and have some sort of rite of passage. Otherwise, us parents will have teens looking elsewhere (drugs, etc) for their new experiences.

Good Luck!

E.

When my daughter was young I set some rules around make-up and other "big girl" things. She could play with make-up but could not wear it out of the house. And when she was old enough to start wearing it (in middle school)I told her that she first needed to learn to wear in such a way that others could not easily see it. My idea was that if she could learn to wear it lightly and naturally that she would be less likely to go too overboard in the future.
As far as shaving her legs I would put that off until other girls in her peer group are shaving it will help her to fit in and starting to soon would possibly put other mother's in a difficult situation.
Ear piercing might be a good way to let her have a grown-up experiance she would need to agree to let you help her care for them as well as agree to not wear anything too long or heavy. Although you are the best judge of how your child will react to the sudden pain and the daily care. My daughter enjoyed picking out different colored posts and pretty little dangels for special occasions. I did have her ears piered early at around 4 but she didn't realize the fashion potential until she was 7 or 8.

Hi you....

Well my dughter is 11, just started Jr High. (what a big step :) She isn't allowed to shave her legs until 8th grade as of now. I might reconsider when she turns 12, if its needed and yep her legs are hairy!!! As far as makeup she wears lip gloss. If it's s specail occasion she might wear a little eyeshadow (neutral) and blush. That happens about every other month. I did start to take her at about 7 or 8 to get a manicure from time to time then at 9 I think was her first pedicure. Ears peirced, I love the idea. My daughter was to scared (yep we have tried it 3 time and now do clip on earing) THAT is ok and I tink a great way for them to feel grown up and be able to accesorise. (sp?) I would start there. Maybe get her a cute jewlery box to keep earings, bracelets, etc., in something that she is resposible for and that is a lttle grown up.

Trust me they do grow up fast, but need to remain kids as long as possible. MY daughter still doesnt have a cell phone and even though she asks once in a while, sh'e respects the limits I have set. And it makes my life easier!

K.,

I have two daughters (ages 19 and 11) that both showed interest in that at 7. I wear make-up and they wanted to be like Mommy. My oldest actually put on some of my make-up and wore it to school several days. I didn't notice until the racoon eyes surfaced several days later. I went out and bought them both clear mascara ... I can't remember the brand and some flavored chapstick (I think it was Bonnie Bell cherry). I told them that they could wear their special make up anytime that they wanted. I put their make-up in a special pouch in their bathroom. Your daughter might want to put her make-up on when you do. With both girls they wore their "make-up" for about a week. It didn't surface again until middle school, which is a more "appropriate" time to begin wearing the real thing.

J.

Why do women wear make-up and shave their legs?

I know that I do it to attract my husband and to feel sexy.

Is this something we should be allowing 7 year old girls to partake in? I personally don't think so. I want my daughter (who is also 7) to be a little girl as long as she possibly can. (This is something that is extremely important to me as I was a teenage mother and had my daughter at 18.) No matter what we do our daughters will want to emulate us, it's important that we set good examples and boundaries.

Encourage dress up, face painting, creativity. I think playing with make up would be okay. As for ear piercing....I would just be concerned about proper hygiene.

I think in the long run you're going to have to go with your gut instincts, what might be right for you might not be right for other parents and vice versa.

The most important thing is that we raise our daughters to be strong, free thinkers and let them know what really matters is what's inside. (Corny? Yes, but still very true. Your looks will only get you so far but a strong mind can take you anywhere.)

Good Luck!

Hi K.,
Wow there is quite some differ opinions about this issue. First follow your instinct about what is best for you and your family, and make sure you are certain about your decision - it will help you when dealing with your child.

As for what is appropriate...I think it is very normal for girls to want to play dress up or wear make-up and they should be able to play with it. I think 12 or 13 is a more appropriate age for wearing makeup out of the house. We as parents have to set some boundries for our kids, and with girls this is one of them. I don't think it should be forbidden, then of course they will do it behind your back. But allow it for fun, and let her know that when she is X age she can start those things.
Don't forget that as a girl that makeup, shaving and earrings are a rights of passage ritual that many women remember for years (as you can see from all the responses :) ). Same with shaving her legs. By the way, my mom bought me an electric shaver, that way I wouldn't cut myself.
I would keep the dialog open about it, let her know that there are appropriate ages for things, ie. drivers license, etc.
Good luck!

well thats crazy and cute im sure she wants to be grown up and all but you should really wait for that one... she will all her life to be big wait till she starts middle school now i remember all the presure being on about looking good reasure her that she is pretty and that she shouldent put attention to legs and when it comes to her ears people peirce their childrens ears as soon as theyre a month old. that one is totally up to you. good luck and im sure youll do just fine with you big gurl;D

Hi K.!

I also have a wonderful, "grown-up" 7 year old girl! She seems to want to do everything that an adult can do with her own set of everything from curlers to make-up! The funny thing is I don't mind. I've told her that she has to be cautious about how much make-up to wear and that if it's too much, I get to tell her to tone it down. She listens and respects my limitations. The most amazing thing is, she's a natural at how to coordinate her outfits and she always looks great so I encourage her to be girlie when she likes and to find the other side of her as well (She calls herself a tom-boy). Mind you, I have 4 daughters and my youngest seems to be the only one who takes an interest in doing these things. I say that as long as she's not over-doing it, she'll be fine...and with 4 older brothers (3 of them in their teens)to keep her within limits, she will always be guided as to what those limitations are. I believe in allowing her to celebrate her femininity and to embrace the tom-boy in herself as well.
Shaving her legs hasn't been an issue yet. She's a little blondie! I'm sure she'll wait for that stage to come around in due time.
I hope this has helped you decide if you're doing the right thing or not. I'm an older mom and I believe in choosing my battles. For me, this is a no-brainer! Everything in moderation!
Enjoy your little girl! You sound like a great mom!
D.

I allow my 7 year old daughter to wear clear or light pink lip gloss only. All other makeup is off limits. She understands that we can discuss other makeup when she is responsible enough to take care of her skin (wash and moisturize) without being asked morning and night. My daughter has nearly black hair (on her head), and I will admit her legs are a little hairy, but I am thinking around 12 I might let her shave her legs. To tell you the truth, that is when my mom let me, but only because I refused to wear shorts or skirts for a full year. I did not pierce my daughters ears as an infant and am waiting for her to ask me. As soon as she wants it, we will go. She will only be allowed to wear studs until she is in middle school, when I will let her wear small hoops. She wont be allowed danglies until highschool. Its my preference, and not everyone will agree. However, it is something my husband and I are comfortable with. We have some very close friends who wont let their 12 year old daughter even paint her toes, not even clear. She is not allowed any kind of makeup, only chapstick, and isnt allowed to even curl her hair. The husband/dad says, "you know, she has her whole life to do it, I am not going to open the flood gate too early." She just started the 7th grade. The wife/mom just bought her her first pair of danglies, that husband/dad almost confiscated.

Hello K.,
I remember those times too, but 7 is a bit young as you already know. I believe 12 is the appropriate age for shaving. Let her know that she can cut herself, boy do I remember my first time with sharp razors. Some people pierce their ears as babies. Any age is good, but does she know its painful when using the piercing gun on her ear?
Make-up depends on the maturity I think. Teens nowadays are doing alot of crazy things, even dying their hair.
Its up to you if you believe what's best. Good luck. G.

I think you've asked a great question. The responses have been really interesting to read. I don't have little girls of my own, so I'll share my experiences.

My mother hardly ever wore make up while I was growing up. She taught me to value who I was and not to be pressured by what other people were doing. She told me that their mothers didn't love them as much as she loved me. :-) When I wanted to compete in beauty pageants, she let me. But I was only allowed to wear light make-up. I quit pageants because I couldn't stand being around people that were always looking in a mirror. Once I quit I was allowed to wear light make-up for special occasions. My mom was actually really laid back about it. She always took the time to teach me about being beautiful on the inside. Now I perform at birthday parties and special events and I dress up in different characters. I pretty much only wear make-up to match the character I'm supposed to be representing. Or when my sister in law is going to be around because she has a new camera and is always taking pictures. I'm pretty lucky though. My husband hates make-up. He won't smooch me or snuggle me when I've got it on. He'll wait until I've washed it all off.

I was able to get my ears pierced at 10 years old, but I didn't keep up with it because the earrings were always getting caught in my hair or bothering me somehow. At 16 and 18 I tried it again. Same thing, my hair is always caught in them and the phone at work and my cell phone always seemed to smash the posts into my neck. At 25 I'm thinking about getting them done again because I have shorter hair now and with the new law about driving with a head set, it might be more comfortable.

Shaving should probably be based on her hair color and type. I am pasty white with dark underarm and leg hair. I started shaving when I was around the summer I was 10 or 11. I was in the Jr. Lifeguard program I was embarrassed to be in a bathing suit. There were a few girls that teased me, especially because I was the only one that had hair "down there." Which is another topic all together.

I really appreciate what others have said about waiting for a particular time or until they've earned it though. Rites of passage are very important. Having something to look forward to is important. Now that I'm 25 I'm kinda bummed out, now that I can rent cars without paying the extra fees, the next milestone that I get to look forward is Senior Discounts. :-)

Sit down with your daughter and discuss why she wants to do these grown up things. Does she want to do it for fun or because she has doesn't feel pretty? The answer might surprise you. Perhaps make your decision based on that.

If you decide that lip gloss and shimmery shiny products types of products might be ok, I can recommend a brand name to you, Bella Bee. I do Bella Bee Workshops. The focus of these parties is being beautiful on the inside. Each product color has a lesson tied with it. We have Cotton Candy Confidence, Berry Truth, Bubblegum Friendship and Grape Sweethearts. Even if the girls pile the make up on (which we teach them not to) they can't look trashy in them. The make up is designed specifically for girls ages 7-12. If you are interested in more information, go to my website and click on the Bella Bee page. www.fairytalepro.com.

Dear K.,
I too have a daughter that was interested in big girl things, but she also very much still wanted to be a little girl and not have all the big girl responsibilities. You only get to be a kid for such a short time in your life...you might as well be carefree and enjoy it.
As far as the ear piercing, I begged my mom to let me have it done, but she always told me I had to wait until I turned 10. That way, I would be responsible enough to have a jewelry box with my earrings and be able to clean them as they healed. They took me on my 10th birthday. It was the day I had been waiting forever for! To my horror, when my parents saw how quickly and easily it went, they decided to go ahead and do my sister's ears at the same time. She wasn't even 7 yet. It really hurt my feelings. My daughter also wanted her ears done, like Mommy, but I had little decals for her ears. They looked just like the real thing. They came with a whole card of them, different colors and shapes. She loved them and was happy with them. But every time she went with her Dad's mom, the first thing she did was rip them off her ears. SHE wasn't going to be seen around town with a little granddaughter who was wearing ear jewelry. My mom, of all people, took my daughter to the mall one day and had her ears pierced. She was not quite 4 years old. The other grandma had a fit, but too bad, so sad. My daughter never had any trouble with her ears. A lot of people have their kids' ears pierced when they are just babies. That way, they just kind of grow up with them.
In my opinion, 7 is WAY to young to start shaving legs. WAY to young. I'll have you know that my legs were so hairy when I was that age that I wore tights every day because I was embarrassed. I did shave my legs occasionally in high school, and I don't want to sound like a hippie or anything, but I maybe shave my legs twice a year now. The few hairs I have on my legs are blonde and soft and you can't even see them unless I get tanned and you see some little white shimmers. My mother was a slave to shaving her legs. She can't go two days without shaving or her legs are like a wire brush. So, that's something to consider. As for make-up, unless my daughter and her friends were playing dress up, make up was completely out of the question until she was 14. At 7, she had her share of tinted or flavored chapsticks, but that was it. She was more into her hair. I did let her paint her finger and toe nails though once in a while. Again, they have little decals for that too. I found some of the neatest shimmer dust that I would let her wear on her cheeks, but never at school or church or anything like that.
All of this, of course, is a personal decision. But my theory is, once you let a kid start doing something, it's hard to un-do it. Waiting is for the best. I see some of the little girls in my town running around all made up and it makes me feel sad for them. I know they think they look pretty, but it just looks like a little girl trying to grow up too fast. I used to love to tease and style my little sister's hair. And, I would get into mom's make up. Mom let us do it, but then promptly threw my sister in the bathtub and said she didn't care about us playing, but for Pete's sake, why did I alway have to make her look like a 40 year old midget? It's pretty funny when I think about it now.
You know your girl better than anybody, but I would say to wait on the shaving and make-up. Perhaps compromise with something else. I bet she'll thank you later.

Best of wishes!

Hi K.,
My daughter is just turning 6 and is interested in these things too. I had her ears pierced when she was 3, so that is over and done with, but she wants to change her earrings almost every day. She is good about taking out her earrings and cleaning them, and cleaning her ears, so I am fine with her having pierced ears and wearing earrings.

As far as makeup goes, she has some clear lip glosses and shimmery lotion that I bought her at Sephora, and so far that is making her happy. (She only wears these at home, even so!) I'm thinking that in middle school perhaps we'll branch out into tinted lip gloss. =)

I think it depends on how hairy and/or dark her leg hair is, but I have noticed girls even in 3rd grade shaving their legs. I think if they feel uncomfortable with their leg hair, then it's ok for them to shave. My daughter just seems to like the "grown-up" aspect of it, so I let her pretend to shave when she's in the shower (the Nair kits come with this plastic scraper thing that is sort of shaped like a razor - she uses that).

Hi K.,

I would start very very slow! Dont let her do all the things she should save for later. My girls (3) of them got ears pierced around 7 or 8 thats a nice big step. I allowed shaving leggs at once they got to middle school and had to derss-out for P.E. and then makeup waits until high school. Even now at 17 & 18 I monitor and approve everything from clothes to make up. I am more strict than my friends in these areas but I also dont deal with a lot of the "issues" they do. I was allowed to grow up way too fast and by the time I was 14 to 15 there were no more steps and I wanted to move to the even bigger things *wink* ya know what I mean. so this is just one mom's opinion. I wish you the very best with your little girl...

C.

K.,
I did my share of makeup - including eyeliner,the works, at age 12. my mom never said a thing. My father said it didn't look good, but neither of them stopped me. I look back on pictures and I cringe in embarrasement. I looked cheap, trashy, and pitiful. Why didn't they bother to stop me? Didn't they care? Shouldn't a parent want their child, especially a female, to reflect resplendence and grace? Young girls are SOOOO gorgeous, because they are pure. I didn't realize it at the time, I was so wrapped up with growing up. But they should have. They knew what makeup was used for (attracting the opposite sex, or covering flaws)so I never realized the real message I was sending forth. Either I was trying to attract men or I was covering up my flawed self (not good enough). Possibly both messages were sent!

I would DISCOURAGE makeup for as long as possible. When they are an adult they can do what they want. But at a young tender age they need guidance that only a wise parent can give them, not the guidance of the world or the foolishness of their own desires. I've found that going with the flow of the world is usually not a choice of wisdom. Guard her purity as long as you can, because no one else will. In fact, the world will try to suck it out of her.

My daughters are 11.5 and 6. So far I have successfully discouraged makeup, earrings, and the modern alluring clothes and shoes by talking with them about the wisedom of staying pure (what message do you want to send others?) and always reminding them how lovely their natural beauty is. They dont have flaws, God made them perfectly and uniquely beautiful.

For a real eye opener, lookup " Pure" in the thesauraus, and then below check out the antonym.

Hi K.,
My daughter also started at the age of 7 (she's going to be 9 in Nov). Shaving her legs is out of the question right now. I just told her that if she starts shaving now, it will grow back even thicker then she'll have to shave all the time and that's alot of work. With the makeup, I let my daughter wear just a little bit of lip gloss (to her that was considered makeup)... not enough to really tell but just enought to make her lips look a little shinny (just enought so that she could tell she had it on). I don't really wear a lot of makeup myself, but every now and then i let her play with my makeup while we are in the house (when we have our girls night, we sometimes we put makeup on eachother), but she's not allowed to leave the house with any on. As far as the ear piercing, I got her ears pierced when she was 8 months old.
I hope this helps.
Good luck,
AM

I think the important thing to remember is that parents have different ideas of what is acceptable at what age. Also, that all children are unique.

If someone had asked me ten years ago what age I thought it appropriate to start shaving legs, I would have said around jr. high/high school. However, I have a stepdaughter who is 8 and for whatever reason the hair on her legs is a true issue for her. She is insecure about it and at the beginning of summer she wore pants until she couldn't stand it anymore. I don't know if she was teased, or someone told her she was hairy, I don't know. But, it is sad to see her feel bad about her body. We have tried to tell her that hair is natural and she is beautiful (she truly has gorgeous legs!!!), but she won't hear it. Now my thoughts have changed. She is a great kid, a good student and very respectful. If she wants to get rid of the hair on her legs, what is the big deal? My mom told me I couldn't shave until I was thirteen. I started doing it behind her back at nine. Because I remember my own insecurities, I think I am able to be empathetic. I couldn't date until I was sixteen, but that was a boundary I was comfortable with.

In my family, ear piercings are the bigger deal. I feel it is a personal choice for a girl to decide to get her ears pierced and I would never pierce my daughter's ears for her before she was able to tell me she wanted it. Also, my husband feels that they aren't ready until they are able to clean and take care of their own earrings. So, that is something we as a family are deciding to push out. But, that is my family and I know in many families the feeling is different.

If you can "keep her young" and less self aware for a bit longer i think that is the best. When it comes to ear piercing this can be understood as so many kids do this at such an early age ( and we see babies that have earrings), however the shaving and makeup is a bit much, unless make up is for play; like face painting or pretending. There is a difference if she starts to need make up and shaving to feel as if she is accepted, to feel as if she is OK, and that is where I would be a bit concerned. Personally, i would steer her away from shaving yet ( because when you begin it gets worse) and would make her feel OK about being a kid. Tell her she looks fine the way she is and it is better for her to wait, and keep her away from magazines and TV commercials and programs/ media that are too adult for her. This is just what it seems to me would be the best to do, good luck.

That sounds about the right age. My friend's kids were about that age (maybe a little younger) when they started getting interested in that stuff. My friend just got her kids play make-up and chapstick. She's definatly old enough in my opinion for her getting her ears pierced, but really that's something each parent has to decide. If I had been more on top of things, I would have pierced my daughters ears when she was a baby! As for the leg shaving thing, I personally would make her wait until at least junior hight (unless she has so much hair that she is getting teased).

Hope this helps.

At about 7 they start wanting to be older than they are. I didn't let my daughter start shaving or wearing makeup until she was 13. Remember that when you shave it grows back more and black. It is ultimately up to your own dicretion when you think it is appropriate but just know that they can't wait to grow up and everything for little kids is geared for towards teens. I say let them be kids cause they and you can't get that time back.

I would start with piercing her ears. She is old enough to turn her earrings everyday and clean her ears. Then she gets the opportunity of picking out some cute earrings to match some of her outfits. If she is pretty girly I would try buying some cute accessories to match som of her outfits, scarfs, hair ribbons, purse, etc. We did not allow our girls to shave until they in 5th or 6th grade. Make up they were allowed to wear mascara and lip gloss in 7th grade. Good luck :)

K.,
My Parents didn't let me do any of this until High School, But my friends and my daughter all did them at Middle School. I think 7th grade is a good time to start with the shaving, pretty much when she grows arm pit hair she should start then. As for make up, maybe all she needs is flavored lip smackers and then some lip gloss in middle school. Before 8th grade I would suggest taking her to one of the make-up counters in Macy's and have them show her how to put on subtle make-up that enhances her natural beauty.

K.
I will start by saying yes you are right, age 7 is way too young for makeup. I was allowed to start wearing a little makeup when I entered high school. This had to come with some instruction from my mom as I was not sure how to do this and she did not want me to look over done.
My oldest twin (9) now started to shave her legs using depilatory (Nair) at age 8(but I did this and still do). She has very dark hair and her legs are extremely hairy. Not to mention she is a competitive gymnast. So being in leotard everyday, she began to be embarrassed about the hair on her legs. The ear piercing I think is totally fine. All 3 of my girls were done at 3 months of age so I think taking her down to have that done would be the start. Then explain to her that somethings are for when your older. When she gets older she can start doing older things.
I will say I think our kids coming up now are acting much older than they used to when I grew up. The clothes are smaller, the makeup, the crazier hair do's (coloring etc). So I would like to see some more kids just being kids for as long as they can. My girls are 9,9,6, and 1yo boy. I want them to grow up and be good girls and boys, but all when the time and age are appropriate.

Good luck,
Trish

Shaving legs at 7? NO!
Makeup? OH HECK NO!
Ears pierced? It's ok in my book!

Hi there really isn't an appropriate age, however 7 is a bit young. Try to tell her that these are grown up things and that she should enjoy being a kid and give her ideas like arts and crafts. Then perhaps you could set aside a couple of hours one evening a month for just the two of you and have a play date, do each others hair,make up and mini manicures as a more grown up mom and me play tme. This way she can do both worlds and it is actually fun. I ended up with some funky hair doos but we had fun. i hope this helps a little, Just call her mom, D.

I have two girls that are now 11 and 14. They were both very interested in make-up and such pretty early as well. Here is what we did/are doing...
I bought an assortment of inexpensive make up (eye shadow, lipstick, blush, ect. but no foundation) and put it in a box for dress-up. They were allowed to wear that make-up around the house while playing, but not outside. That gave them the opportunity to experiment with what looked nice, or silly depending on their mood. They often did my hair and make-up too (just happy they didn't have cameras!).

We waited for their eighth birthdays for ear piercing. I explained that pierced ears need to be taken care of and at eight they should be ready to do it themselves. (one of them started to argue that she was ready at 6, but I explained that if she complained about the rules, the rules would be tightened. Any more argument and you'll wait until 9yrs.)
Leg shaving is different for different people. Some girls have quite dark, thick hair that is very noticable and other kids will start to comment on it about 8 or 9 years. You may notice that your daughter will stop wanting to wear shorts or skirts. If that is the case an electric razor may be the ticket. My girls are blonde (although pretty hairy) so I said they could shave when either they began to get underarm hair or when they started their periods, whichever came first. My 11year old still doesn't shave and isn't worried about it since she knows the deal and expects to begin in the next year or so. She is also a cheerleader for her school and it still isn't a problem.

When they reached middle school they were allowed minimal make-up for special occasions like dances. Mascara, tinted lipgloss and natural colored eyeshadow (light pink, beige, pale gold, etc.) My younger daughter just wore her first make-up to be in a family wedding. Just mascara, tinted lipgloss, and pink shadow. She felt very grown-up and received lots of compliments.

I've spoken with both of them about girls using make-up to 'hide' themselves. I've asked them to really observe their friends that wear make-up everyday and listen to the way they speak about themselves. They've come back to me with some interesting observations (X thinks it hides her zits, but really it just makes them more noticable. Y is always fussing in the bathroom mirror during lunch and breaks. Z said today that she looked ugly because she didn't have time to put on her make-up.)We've spoken about comming to grips with what you see in the mirror every morning and being comfortable in your own skin. Make-up is fun and great for enhancing our looks, but thinking that we are somehow not complete without it is a problem.
My oldest is in high school this year and wears lipgloss everyday and sometimes mascara, but still chooses to keep the eyeshadows etc. for special occasions, although she is still VERY girly, fussy about her hair/clothes. Pretty normal for the age I think!

Good luck with your princess!

Hi K.,

I raised two daughters. Here are my suggestions on timing: shaving her legs can happen, perhaps, when she is in a real grownup bra. Makeup in middle school but only for special occasions: a school dance, a family wedding. In terms of getting her ears pierced, that differs from culture to culture. These days I'm still seeing plenty of girls in middle school with no pierced ears. Generally I'd say not before 10, then no 'hanging' earrings until high school.

Hope this helps.

They grow up so fast don't they. I got my ears pierced at 7. I didn't start wearing make-up until high school. Although lip gloss would probably be ok at 7. I don't remember when I started shaving my legs but it was 5th or 6th grade.

Good luck!!!

My oldest daughter, now 17, had similar ideas. To help her feel grown up I let her do little girl versions of beauty/self care. It turned out that she liked to go through the motions more than anything. Here's what worked for me. There was an agreement that she could do these things on the weekends, and maybe other appropriate occasions as long as she had permission and I apporved of how much she used. Leg shaving was easy for her to imitate, simply let her use a shaving gel (most fun to apply) and 'shave' with a metal barette. A razor, even a bladeless one, is a bad idea because she will probably use a real one if she ever got the chance. Makeup can be little girl lip gloss, eyeshadow and a bit of powder. Ear piercing is harder, as the maintainence during healing time is difficult for someone her age and it will become your responsibility to prevent infection. It became fun for her to 'do her makeup' and 'shave her legs', especially with friends. She likes to hear about application techniques - how much to apply, what to put where and color choices. I always say that having to do these things is very different that wanting to, and once it becomes part of her life it can be a pain. She was happy and felt grown up and liked to do it, and the pretend aspect worked for us both. She was given free reign in sixth grade. She went to a small charter school and I figured this gave her a safe environment to find her own style and application techniques, especially with makeup. She thanked me in high school because all of her friends who weren't given this chance had "horrible" makeup and wore too much and looked younger rather than older. Funnily enough, she has given her eleven year old sister strict guidelines and she isn't allowed to start any of this, especially eyebrow and leg shaving, until eighth grade. This daughter isn't even interested, although that may change. My eight year old is really into makeup and I have given her things that I don't use and she and a friend love to apply it on the weekends. Tell her this though: Being a kid lasts such a short time and she doesn't want to grow up too quickly and miss out on such a great time of her life.

I think deciding what age depends on specific circumstances. I had super hairy legs and was very self-conscious about them. I decided to try to shave when I was in the 4th grade and nicked myself. My mom decided just to show me how to shave properly and bought me an electric razor when I grew hair under my arms (no idea when that was). I am so grateful that my mom just let me shave (then again, I was a bit older than seven). If your daughter just wants to act out doing grown up things, just get her that nair scraper (does absolutely nothing w/out the chemicals but mimics the process). My five year-old son uses one of those long handled teeth flossers to immitate his dad shaving. With make-up, my friends and I started playing with it in 3rd grade. I remember putting on some frighteningly '70s (it was, indeed the '70s) sky blue eyeshadow. It looked awful, and our teacher read us the riot act. Does your daughter's school have any rules about make-up? With earrings, so many girls get pierced ears at a young age that I'm not sure what to tell you. Originally, my dad said that I could pierce my ears when I was 60 (not a typo!). I was so disappointed. After I made it through my first set of final exams in the 7th grade, though, my parents told me that if I was responsible enough to take finals (I had studied hard and did well, though they made the decision based on the hard work, not the grades), I was responsible enough to have pierced ears. I would say that they did an excellent job linking something I wanted to my demonstrating responibility. However, I had (have?) a bit of a rebelious streak. By the time I was 18, I had managed to sneak another three holes in my left earlobe. I was out of the country long enough to get the second one and have it heal so that I could take it out at home. Then the third and fourth were high enough up that they were easy to hide behind my hair. I live on the same block as four girls between the ages of 7 and 13, and all have had pierced ears since I first met them three years ago. Maybe you could tie your daughter's getting her ears pierced to showing a certain level of responsibility, but not wait until she is a rebelious teen/pre-teen.

These are very personal things, it usually runs in families. I recommend shaving legs when and if other kids tease her about hairy legs. Shaving is a lifelong committment, why start it too soon? It is also easy to cut yourself and she is but 7. Too little for makeup! I hate the prostitot look on little girls. Buy her some pretty lip balm with a touch of pink and allow painted nails on hands and feet. ABout the ear piercings, when i was a girl (w/5 sisters) we had to wait til we were 13, at which time we also received a birthstone gem ring.rite of passage and all that. I had my daughters ears pierced young and regretted it. For one, it HURTS and required maintenance that one needs to be old enough to understand. Secondly, my youngest son pulled out his sister's earring when he was a toddler (OUCH). My second daughter's ears had to be re-pierced later. BUT it is natural for little girls to want to be like big girls. And remember things like lip balm and jewelry cause huge distraction factors in the classroom, so they don't belong there. They usually get taken away to the "June box".

My eldest daughter is 11 and is not allowed to wear any make-up or shave her legs. She got her ears pierced when she was in kindergarten, it was her choice not mine. She is allowed to wear small stud type earrings and that is it, no hoops etc. My middle daughter is 8 and same thing, but she does not have her ears pierced. Mainly because she does not like any sort of pain, and I believe in being honest with my kids and told her that it does hurt a little bit and she does not want to do it. I think that what is appropriate this day and age varies from person to person. I do not believe in raising my daughters (we have 4 now and one on the way) to the approval of anyone else. I want them to be strong confident people that do not look to society to give them the approval. I want them to feel comfortable in the skin that God gave them, and not feel that they are only beautiful with all the make-up, clothing etc. So far things are good and they both understand that. I would just try and discourage this as long as possible. Help her just love and accept herself just the way that God made her.

7 is a normal age for her to start showing interest in these things. However, other than occasionally letting her do dress-up type makeup with friends, it's obviously too early for her to start using makeup on a daily basis, or shaving.

My daughter started shaving at 12, I thought she should wait till about 14, but there are some battles not worth having. Makeup for girls usually starts at about 13 these days. And you can just have your daughter keep it to a tasteful minimum.

I personally didn't let my daughter get her ears pierced until she was 13, on her 13th birthday to be exact, and she was the last of anyone she knew to get her ears pierced. My reasons were this: I wanted it to be a more memorable occasion, I wanted it to be a kind of "rite of passage" event, and most importantly I wanted her to learn the value of waiting for something.

Every mom and daughter is different. This is the timeline I have for my daughter so far...

first ear peircing was @ 4 months
second ear peircing was @ 7 years
third ear peircing she will have to wait untill she is 13 years. She is looking very forward to this.

She is 11 and just started shaving her underarms because the hair was very dark, about 3 inches long (granted there were only 4 of them lol) and they made her uncomfortable raising her hand in class.
She is blond and the hair on her legs is blond so I told her to wait as long as possible for that because the more you shave it the darker it gets.

As for make-up...she plays make over at home but will not be allowed to leave the house with it until she is at least 13, maybe older depending on the condition of her skin @ that time. If it is bad she will be waiting until we get it under control. Acne runs in our family and make-up only makes it worse. She doesn't really seem to anxious to wear it yet, maybe because I really don't wear it unless it is a really special occation.

Well, as I said, everyone's different but those are our guidelines.

I have 2 daughters, 7 and 5. Both are into very Tween things, I think. Both like music and the newest young stars, both love makeup, and the newest technology (ipod, Nintendo DS) My oldest daughter even wanted me to buy her a bra because she insisted her breasts were growing.
So.. I have purchased them makeup. Its very light and shimmery. Its for young girls, but its not kid make up. I found it in Target there is a section of pale shimmery eye make up and lip gloss. My daughters' watched me in the shower during our camping trip and I had to shave. Both of them stared at me in disbelief. "I am scared to do that" my older daughter said. My younger one just stared. I told her that she was too young to shave. Maybe later. I didn't matter.
I did my a sports bra for her though because she is kind of "chunky" in that area. It was a compromise. I figured that she might be a little self conscious. It makes her feel better, and it looks like a tank top underneath her clothes.
Oh and my girls have mp3 player called a Shake. But no video game things (unless you count a Leapster).
Have fun!

Hi K.,

I think it all depends on the child and how you feel it is going to affect her. My one daughter is hairier than the rest so I did allow her to shave earlier than the rest because she got teased a lot about it. I let her shave her legs at 8 years old but only with supervision. I think if you are ready to let your daughter shave I would start by doing it for her and showing her how to do it and then supervise her until you are comfortable with letting her do it on her own. As far as make up, I told all of my daughters that the minimum age was 12, and only if I felt they were mature enough to handle it. The peircing of the ears I gave a little more freedom, as soon as they started asking for it I explained that it would hurt a bit and that they would need to take really good care of their ears after. The average age for my girls was about 5. My oldest daughter is now 21 and has just the one ear peircing and then she got her navel peirced when she was sixteen. My second daughter is 19 and has 3 peircings in each ear and one cartilidge peircing in each ear. My third daughter is now 13 and has 2 peircings in each ear. My youngest daughter is 11 and she had one peircing in each ear but decided to let them close up because she did not like the allergic reactions she got to the earings. She unfrtunatly took after me, we tried everything and it just is no good. We even tried gold and that was actually the worst of all, it made my ears bleed. Whatever you decide, good luck and God bless.

D.

hello- my daughter is 8 and is going through the same thing. i got her a great book about body changes in girls..and its just her lever..i think its an american girl book. she asked for deoderant and so I got her one made my Toms at Whole Foods that is more natural. She got her ears pierced for her communion this past May but she had to commit to being able to take care of them. We havent hit leg shaving yet..
Check out the book..it really helped my daughter with some of the stuff she is dealing with..and me too! -A.

I remember in third grade going through a stage when I had to carry a purse around and wanted to wear makeup. Just shortly after I was outside playing with my older brother or on the field playing soccer. I also got my ears pierced around then! My parents wouldn't let me shave until 7th grade and that was considered pretty late back in the day. She may bring it up because that's what others, or even you do.