Oh K., I am outraged on behalf of you and your son! I have MUCH experience with all of this myself.
First off, you are not required to put him on meds at all. They cannot force you to do so. Not all kids with ADHD are treated with meds. Do some research on this and talk to his doctor. Furthermore , there are other things that can cause the same behavior as ADD/ADHD--but the schools won't test for that. As an example, my sons have Sensory Processing Disorder. They also have mild learning disabilites, both of which can cause spirited, acting out behavior. That behavior can be caused by frustration in their environment.
You are correct that it is WAY too early for them to be deciding if he is going to repeat next year. Again, you get some say in this.
Don't let them push you around--and they will try. They will try to push you and your child into whatever mold is convienient for them. You have to go into momma-bear mode and be prepared to fight them. They can't do anything without you saying it's ok, keep that in mind. He's YOUR child. You ALLOW them to have him as a student.
It does sound like the teacher is not doing too well with the teaching. How boring and difficult that must be for a young child. They need hands on, interactive learning! Perhaps you can ask for a different teacher? After two years of them trying to tell me to put my son on meds and them punishing him for being who he is--a 5-6 yr old boy who was acting age appropriately--I took him out and am homeschooling him. Here he is learning in a loving environment where we can work on his special learning needs, Focus on his successes, and appreciate him for the active, bright individual that he is. He is not a robot, and I don't want him to be trained to be.
You might consider homeschooling. Don't let your own learning differences make you think that you can't do it. You can. Anyone can. I never thought I could, but when it came down to his well-being, the schools were hurting more then they were helping. I chose to try it for one semester, one year....make a small goal.
I'd be happy to talk with you more offlist if you like at ____@____.com
Good luck Momma-bear!!