Adolscent Son Making Life Rough for Younger Brothers

Hi there, My first husband died from a brain tumor and are son was 4, it was a very stressful time. I got him to see a child psychologist (spelling ?) who did wonders. It took about 6 months but it was worth the time and money spent. He told me that when he became a teenager he might need more counsling and he is 17 now and so far so good. My thoughts and prayers are with you, I know from first hand how hard it is being a single parent and trying to help your children through there pain is so hard. Keep strong and it will get better!!!!

K.

That is a very difficult experience to go through. I can relate. It is important for him to deal with this by speaking to a counselor/therapist. Many people don't know that it is something often covered by health insurance. I would research therapists and which health insurance providers they are with. It is so important and wonderful that you are trying to tackle this before he gets to an age where he may make desicions/mistakes that may be bigger. You may go with him to some sessions and it may be good for him to go to some alone. He will feel a sense of relief greater than you can imagine. You will notice a difference in his behavior almost immediately.

Hi, C.
My heart goes out to you, I'm in a similar position with my 15 (soon to be 16) yr old son. His father is alive and well, but very absent. His little brother is 5 and on the hyperactive side. I have gone through a lot of extremes with him over the last 14 months. We finally hit a wall when he was failing two subjects last school year because he was sneaking out of the house during the night. Over the summer I had to answer to the Sherriffs Dept., OCS, they all reccommended Rosenblums Mental Health unit in Hammond Louisiana. They decided his behavior was a "danger" and transported him to the Emergency at Childrens Hospital and he was finally admitted to the Childrens Hospital Mental Unit to address his issues. They kept him for 2 weeks and addressed his anger and helped him learn new ways to deal with it. They put him on some medicine which is helping alot: Resperdone, it helps him steer his emotions instead of them steering his actions. Most of my son's aggression is abating, but he still has a ways to go on the attitude .... we have a pathways counselor coming to our house twice a week to continue teaching him healthy ways to communicate with family members, and family members how to cope in a positive way. I strongly suggest you get him checked out before his anger escalates. If you are near Hammond, the Rosenblum Clinic is an excellent resource.
When dealing with the home environment, usually the younger brother just wants his attention and I try to remind the young one not to be physical unless he wants his brother to be physical and someone might get hurt. Then I remind Big Brother that his Little Brother loves him and wants to spend time with him, then try to suggest something they both enjoy like a puzzle or frisbee, maybe take the dogs on a walk. As far as the computer and tv, I would make up a time chart to help everyone get along, and keep the peace. They make a "Nanny Program" that monitors computer time. You can set up different times for different kids with passwords. Perhaps reward the younger ones for good behavior and let them set a good example, give them tv or computer "bonus time" while you are home, maybe special time with you, and maybe take away alotted time if violent or disobedient. Maybe you could get a family member or friend to step in after school until you get home to keep an eye on the kids and see to it that they follow the new rules. I've also seen camera monitoring systems that you can see on your cellphone or computer at work. Also, try to spend time with just him and see if you can get him to talk about his feelings, just remember not to be pushy, its a really hard age, boys feel things intensely and feel they are all grown up at that age.
Best of luck! Hang in there.

Hi C.:

My parents divorced when my youngest brother was about 10 years old. He had a lot of bottled up anger and acted on it quite often. He was diagnosed with ADHD and is still medicated for it at the age of 23. He is 6'3, 240 lbs and plays football for OU. I think he takes most of his anger out on the football field. It might not be a bad idea to get him signed up for football or another sport that would help him release some of that anger. I know my kids are really close to their dad, especially my little boy, who has to have Daddy lay with him every night, he always has to sit with his Dad, etc... I can't imagine how broken his little heart would be if something happened to his Dad. Just hang in there... Good Luck :)