Advice for a Child Who Interrupts at School

Smart kiddo! What if you made a game. Get a timer and ask him a question but he has to wait 5 seconds or 10 seconds to answer. A reward system possibly. Have a neighbor or friend come have a conversation with him help him build the skills of waiting. Good luck!

I know some adults like that. It is VERY irritating and after awhile you don't even want to talk to them or be their friend.
Its really intrusive... you can't even finish a thought... before the person barges in on what you are saying or thinking.

In adults... it is seen as Arrogance and self-centered obnoxious behavior.
In children, up to a certain age, it is excused as a maturity or developmental reason, and it can still be "cute." But after a certain age... habits like this is just seen as, very irritating and soon others will not want to talk to you. And it is not excusable anymore.

Anyway, well CAN he just learn (by now), to RAISE HIS HAND when he wants to speak or has the answer or wants a turn???
My son is 6 and is VERY talkative & expressive, but he will raise his hand, even at home. And he is fine at school, never any problem and well behaved and never talks out of turn. His Teacher tells me this. He waits his turn or will ask for a turn.

Some people, interrupt others because they... want to have the one up on the other person, or they can't wait and it is an impulsiveness problem, or they only are thinking about themselves & it is selfish, or they always want to be the one with the answer FIRST etc.
But for your son, it is a continual... problem.
What other impulsiveness issues does he have???
Or speak to the Pediatrician.
He is in 3rd grade already.
Is it only NOW that he has this problem or has he always been this way?

I would also try... in telling him that WHEN he wants to say something... TO WAIT 5 SECONDS before he barges in on another person's conversation... and then ASK if he can have a turn.
I am sure, he knows by now... that it is very rude. But he still does it or disregards the other person.
If my 6 year old can do it, your son can too.

Why don't you just ASK your son WHY HE DOES that???
Instead of guessing.

I almost thought you were talking about some of my neighbors and relatives. Sometimes it's well nigh impossible to finish a sentence with them around.

It sounds as if your son has a firmly established habit, and he's having trouble breaking it. When something interesting comes up, his brain goes into default mode and the mouth automatically opens.

Can you and the teacher get your heads together and come up with some sort of non-interrupter reward system for your son? Maybe she could send a note home every day with a certain amount of stars (which you supply), the amount of which goes up the less he interrupts?

When you break a habit, it seems as if you work on getting out of the habit first, and *then* you see how it benefits you. Your son might appreciate the benefits - like finding out that his friends and classmates have interesting things to say when they have the chance! - after he has begun to get himself free of the behavior. (I know that's the case with me when I try breaking habits, like eating certain things or turning the TV on brainlessly.)

Betty McDonald has an interrupter story in one of her MRS. PIGGLE-WIGGLE books (which I love). I don't know if your son would like it, but you might.

Have you tried role playing?

Try the book "My Mouth is a Volcano" by Julia Cook

Is it possible that he's confused because of the part home school, part private school routine, and the different environments? Obviously, he has no talking "competition" at home and he does have that at school. The attention is all on him at home and he doesn't have to fight for it, as he does when he's at school. Is it possible he's doing it in the classroom for attention?

How is his impulse control in other situations? Perhaps he needs lessons in how to control his impulses. I suggest spending time talking with him about how he feels when he interrupts and why he's unable to control the impulse to talk. Give him some skills to deal with it. Perhaps give him a rubber band on his arm that he's required to snap before saying anything with the instruction to be aware of what else is going on first.

It sounds like he's full of energy and is having difficulty managing it. I suggest that this is a maturity issue which will resolve over time. It might help to stop him when he gets overly active. Calmly tell him to slow down, take a breath, etc. By doing this you're teaching him how to manage his energy.

It's his teacher's job to do this, J.. You cannot fix this problem at school. A seasoned teacher would tell you, but not expect YOU to fix this.

My older son had a 2nd grade teacher who expected me to fix all of my son's personality quirks. She would have me in tears fussing at me. I didn't realize until he didn't have her anymore, and he had two really great teachers who thought he was wonderful, that I realized that the 2nd grade teacher actually didn't know how to handle kids herself.

Your son will mature gradually. Peer pressure will help. Just be consistent with him at home, and if you feel you need to talk to the guidance counselor about the teacher not being able to deal with this, do that. No amount of meetings with YOU and anyone at the school is going to change your child. It's not like you don't care. You are doing your best at home. It's their job to handle him at school. And don't let anyone tell you that it's your job instead of theirs...

Dawn

Hi J.,
Kids interrupt because of 3 reasons:
They are very enthusiastic about participate what they think or know;
They see other adults interrupting to say something;
and the kids who interrupt are always allowed to interrupt, I mean you answer the question right there after the interruption or you just say "shhhhhhh", right? . With this action you ARE allowing him to interrupt, he already did it. I would suggest this:

Teach him when it is OK to interrupt someone (teacher, friend, mom, dad, etc) like he needs to go the bathroom, he feel sick, etc.....and give him some examples like I am saying H..
Teach him to say :"Excuse me" or raise his hand , and then teach him to watch and wait for your approval to interrupt, so he can do so. Approval may mean to nod your head or to wink, etc....Disapproval may be just a shaking of your head side to side, he needs to know this and practice it with you. Practice, practice and practice.
Most IMPORTANT of all, DO NOT answer the question when he is interrupting, and tell him without anger or being upset : "I will be with you in a moment" or so.....You are showing him how to be polite, and teaching him at the same time to wait.
Every time he is able to do this, praise him and say to him: "Thank you for waiting your turn, and interrupting only for a VALID reason".
I also home school but full time....I have 2 boys (6, and 12) and they study in the same room. I taught them how not to interrupt with the approach I am sharing with you now from the beginning, and it works.

I agree!

1. It's his teacher's problem at school. You can talk to him about it at home, but it's his teacher's job to make policies at school.

2. You can try to have him role play and practice at home. All he needs is practice.

My daughter used to interrupt a lot. She did it at school, she did it at home. We did a communication course with her and it stopped.

It's not a TALKING problem, but a LISTENING problem.

Interrupting means you're not listening. You haven't waited for the person to finish, you're just assuming you know what they are going to say. And you DON'T know what a person will say.

The drills we did involved her listening. First she had to listen to the whole thing a person said and repeat it back.

After she got good at that, we'd give her directions. But in order for her to follow them, she had to listen to the WHOLE THING. Sometimes they were trick directions, where the last part of the directions were to "not do steps 1-3." It only took a few times with the trick directions that she learned to listen to the whole thing!

Part is a maturity thing, but really the listening part is the key. If he is aware he needs to listen to the whole thing a person says before he speaks, the interrupting thing will fix itself. It IS important that he learn to listen fully.

Good luck!

This could indeed be maturity, but I also wondered what it means to be "part homeschool, part private school." I haven't heard of that option. You mention that you don't tolerate interrupting at home -- but when he's "in school" at homeschool, who is there for him to interrupt? You, as teacher? That can't bel allowed, but when you ask a question at home, he has no "competition" for the chance to answer; he just gives you the answer. So he's learned that when he has the answer, it is his time to speak. Then he gets to a classroom setting but is used to giving the answer when he has it -- and that becomes interrupting. Combine that with the fact he's probably excited to be among other kids, excited to be in a new setting that's not home, etc., and he might be a bit wound up and even more ready to let answers pop out.

I would talk with the teacher and also with the counselor. Counselors tend to get approached only when there are big behavior problems etc. but they can also be great at helping with smaller and very typical things like interrupting. If the counselor does regular "counseling lessons" with all the students in class, she or he could focus one lesson on classroom manners including not interrupting. Suggest it! Also ask the teacher whether she thinks that the homeschool/private school combination may be making him more likely to blurt out answers in the group. I'm not knocking the arrangement at all, just saying that he may need some work on learning there are different behaviors in each setting and what he sees as "I'm just answering the question you asked" at home becomes "You're interrupting!" at school.

J.,

I know you really want to fix this for your child. But it is the teacher's issue and they have to decide how they will run their classroom and what will work best for your child. If your son gets enough notices or reprimands for interrupting, he will eventually change. The best thing you can do is support the teacher and your son but don't get involved in this. The teacher needs to come up with the plan. Not you. If you were having issues at home around this, my advice would be different and how you should deal with it at home with you. But since the problem is at school, the school needs to figure it out.

I think that the consequences need to come from the teacher. Kids have a hrd time associating consequences from home being for something at school until they are much older.

The teacher has no authority here. If kiddo acts up YOU are the boss not the teacher. By intervening at home it is cutting out the teacher completely. He needs consequences at school each and every time. I don't think you need to do anything at home except talk to him about respecting the teacher.

I see this in dance classes all the time. The parents go to class with the kids and when they are there the teacher has no control over the class. Each and every time the teacher tells them to do something the kids look at their mom or their dad to see if they have to mind. If the mom or dad don't tell them to do what the teacher says then they just don't do it. This makes it chaotic for the class and for the teacher.

So you need to start putting this off on the teacher. It is her job to control her class. She needs to have that role with your son where he will understand if he blurts out the answers and talks out of turn he has consequences there.

Perhaps staying inside at recess writing sentences or a short essay about how to properly follow class rules will have more influence with him.

I would not say it is the result of homeschooling. I homeschool and know lots of other homeschoolers and when my kids or their kids are part of a classroom/group experience they do not interrupt. I'd say it's a bit of immaturity and a high enthusiasm level. I'm guessing he has a high zest for life in general? That being said, he still needs to learn self control. You seem to have the problem almost solved at home, so I don't know if there's anything you do that you can pass on to his teacher so he would get consistent consequences in both environments? I would definitely work with his teacher on a consequence for his interrupting. (The teacher may be acknowledging him when he interrupts and simply saying "Remember to raise your hand.") He needs to not be acknowledged when he interrupts. For instance if she asks, "What is 7x9" and he shouts out "63", she needs to ignore the answer, call on the child who raised their hand and praise that child for knowing the right answer. Then she needs to tell him he did not get the right answer because he didn't raise his hand and remind him to do so next time. If he asks a question without raising his hand, she needs to ignore it until he raises his hand. He will outgrow this and learn it eventually. Just keep working with him. :)

It is a self control issue. He has to gain control over his tongue, we taught our kids the interrupt rule. If they need to intrerupt they need to ace their hand on the leg or arm of the person talking to let them know they need/want to say something. Also te gain self control, my kids have controlled sit time. It is not a punnishment but a chAnce for them to gain control before they get in trouble. My middle child gets this a lot due to her issue with whining for everything. I got these techniques from the ezzos and "growing kids gods way". Good luck

I think this is a maturity issue.

This makes me crazy. Why can't the teacher handle a child who interrupts? Any teacher worth his/her salt should have the tools to deal with an interrupting eight year old. That's what s/he is being paid for.

At home, you could try role playing a conversation where he waits till he responds. It's not the worst thing in the world, he's probably just excited about his thoughts.

I would go back to basics at home, even with his friends. The teacher needs to work on her own classroom, but when you interact with him at home or notice this behavior, be on it. Do things like allow each member of the family to have their time to talk at the table. If he interrupts, he has to wait longer for his turn. He sounds bright but impulsive. Work on waiting and reward him when he does wait.

If the teacher requires a raised hand and being called on before speaking, model that at home, perhaps at dinner. Make it a habit he takes everywhere.

Also watch for the behavior of a monologue when it's well past time for him to yield the floor. My SD used to do this at dinner and her brother just wouldn't say anything at all unless we reined her in. You might also try listening games, where he has to hear all the question to know what it is or he has to be blindfolded and listen to figure out the noise or clue.