Advice for New SAHM?

I frequently suggest this but I feel so strongly about it... Find a hobby. You will probably need it to stay sane😀. I too left a professional job and it was a huge adjustment from working FT to being a SAHM. It also helps to have lots of friends to hang out with. Girls nights out also are very important IMO. Have Fun! I now love being a SAHM and my kids are 15 and 10.

We do both - we have a plan for part of the day, but we also have down time where they can simply play and create. I think as a society, we have created a nation of kids who need to be entertained. It's important for kids to be able to self-direct.

I can not function unless I have a plan for the day. Unless I have an activity written on the calendar, and the preparations done the night before I would have a hard time getting motivated to do anything. When my kids were that age I usually had a morning activity and an afternoon activity with a late afternoon quiet time so I could cook supper. We did all of the free activities we could find and used our zoo, museum an YMCA memberships often. I also have to have my meals planned in advance or I have a hard time getting a meal on the table.

What your kids need the MOST is a regular schedule. Get them up at the same time every day. Have their morning be like daycare or preschool. Snack at the same time. Lunch at the same time. Either naps or quiet time in their respective rooms. DEMAND that. Your son should be in his room being quiet, even if he's quietly playing. Everyday they should have outdoor time as well. Bedtime should be the same time too.

I know that you're excited about staying home with them, but you need to make sure that you aren't spending 100% of your time with them. They need to play on their own some without you leading them. This is the only way you will get anything done in your house.

You need to require them to clean up their messes in between activities. Sing the "clean up song" from Barney with them while they do it. Help them - don't expect them to do it by themselves.

I agree with Bug about not going somewhere every day. The only time we did that is when my kids were on swim team and needed to be at swim practice every morning.

Good luck!

Best thing I ever did was join the YMCA. They have tons of programs for the kids, a huge chunk of the moms there are stay at homes as well, and you can get in the best shape of your life.

It was a sanity saver.

The other thing is if you are trying to work on discipline issues, take them everywhere! You are less likely to give in when you know you should discipline when there is an audience.

Relax. Don't try to cram every day full of fun things to do. You'll burn out and your kids will have a hard time learning to amuse themselves if they are never allowed to 'be bored'.

Talk to them, read with them, have them "help" with things around the house. They learn a lot that way.

Since your kids are little, you do need some structure in your day. Keep meals, naps, bedtime and wake-up consistent.

I think I might be in the minority. I do NOT take my son somewhere special every day. I think it will really backfire, if your kids don't know how to be bored, or be home. Actually, I have many SAHM friends, that are proof of that. When a child is sick, they are sick, the weather is bad...or any of the things that force you to be home...their kids go freaking nuts. They are at their sibling's throats. They are bored. They want to go somewhere. They hate being home. They whine. They fight. Kids NEED to know how to entertain themselves, and be OK with being at home. It's really important, I think. I know so many women who run themselves ragged, because their kids are use to go, go go.

I have 2 "relax days" out of my 5 day SAHM week. (My husband is home weekends.) We stay mostly at home those days. We work in the garden, around the house, and on projects. He plays with trains, cars, craft supplies, reads, etc. We might hit the grocer store these days, go to the park for an hour or so, ride scooters for a while. Mostly, we get things done around her and have a quiet day. Some weeks we are too busy, and we only have one day. I still think it's VERY important to at least have that one day. Other SAHMs marvel, that I am able to stay home a day or two and not have my son be crazy. Well, they set their kids up to not like being home.

I have a schedule, sort of. We wake up, eat, and go to bed at the same times. (With an hour of the same times, actually.) I do write down things I want to attend. Story times, festivals, farm events, zoo, etc. I plan for those. We have certain schooling things set aside every day, and I work around the activities that take us out of the house for hours. I do most of his schooling on the relax days. I don't ever have our schedule filled to the brim, because that allows for spontaneity.

The best advice I got before I quit working was to always get up and get dressed as if you were leaving the house. That way, you're ready for any spontaneous activity that comes to mind.

You have some good ideas. My kids loved going to the pet store to look at the animals, the SPCA, the "duck park" to feed the ducks (save old bread crusts in the freezer), a drive through the country to look for cows or horses, going to the creek to throw rocks into the water, story time at Barnes & Noble, surprising Dad with a picnic lunch, etc. It's also a good time for swim lessons, flying kites, playing in the sprinklers, sidewalk chalk, and all those things you used to do as a kid yourself.

For me, it was hard to go from being extremely efficient on the job to letting the kids dictate the flow of the day. I would plan to go grocery shopping and they would plan to road-block me in every way possible. It took a little while to just let it go.

I also discovered the car could be my best friend. Sometimes a change of scenery is the best mood changer around.

We are switching roles! I'm going back to work after a 6 year SAHM stint. :)

Just make sure you have a daily routine - plan things in a schedule so your kids know what to expect. Yes, you can vary and drift off of a routine, just make sure you can rebound and get them back on. Kids like structure, and they like to know what is going to happen. When kids start school - that is how their days are spent. Schools = structure. But structure doesn't have to mean boring or totally disciplined. Just basic expectations - Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, morning play time, snack, run errands, lunch, nap time, snack, play time or tv time, dinner, bath, bed... Just try to be consistent!

Good luck and enjoy your time with your kids. It's the best!

When mine was little, I fou d that O. errand per day was a good balance of getting out & staying in. Plan trips around the smaller ones naps.

Always have a Plan B. And C. And D.

Oh--ditch your professional wardrobe & get yoga pants, tshirts, giant sunglasses and a very LARGE travel mug. Seems to be requisite gear for SAHMs!

Without reading other answers: yes, do sit down and write out a tentative daily routine which takes into account breakfast, your shower, tv time (if any) morning snack, lunches, activity times, etc. Be sure that the kids get plenty of time outside/out of the house, too. If you have a specific daily activity that you want to focus on, be sure it's around the dame time every day. For example, while your daughter is napping, that might be the time to do a little skill-building with your son, then ask him to take a quiet time break for 30 minutes before sister wakes up. PLAN BREAKS FOR YOURSELF. I can't stress this enough-- be sure you have a couple chunks of time a day, because unlike working outside the home, there is no lunchbreak, no uninterrupted set amount of time--you will have to ensure it happens. (I was a nanny for years, so I say this as both a mom and a professional person working in someone's home-- that was the biggest adjustment I had to make when I went from teaching preschool to being a nanny-- figuring out how to create break times.)

If you can do the same things around each time every day (and at least, try to maintain the *order* of those events) things will go more smoothly. The kids will begin to predict the routine, which is good.

You also want to make sure you have a chance to get housework done throughout the day, too. Plan regular times for the kids to pick up their toys/activities (perhaps before lunch and a half-hour before you start dinner, do a bigger clean-up). When I was a nanny, I could set the kids down at the table with playdough toys/tools and a book on tape/disc while I washed the days dishes after lunch, or give them construction paper/sicssonrs/glue sticks, or stickers and paper and markers and let them work on their own.

For outing days, depending on when you get up, do your sandwiches/pack most of your picnic the night before, or get up earlier to do it. Go to the zoo or Children's Museum as early as they open. You'll get the kids when they are fresh, (the animals at the zoo are often more active first thing in the day) and you'll avoid the crowds that start to come around 10:30 or so. Earlier, from my experience, is always better. Esp with memberships-- you can ask each of the kids what it is they most want to see that day and just focus on those two animals, knowing that you can go back anytime. You might even choose to leave and go someplace else for lunch, like a shady park.

All this to day, I find that planning allows me, more often than not, the reassurance that I will find time to get those things I need done, done. Also be aware that 4-6 is an afternoon 'witching hour' for kids, so get your grocery shopping done in the morning or early afternoon. I'd rather bump doing dishes to a later time of day than take a tired kid grocery shopping in the later afternoon-- heck, I'd rather poke myself in the eye than take a kid grocery shopping then!

Have fun with your kiddos!

It was a yrs ago but it was a bit of a difficult transition for me. Took a while to find my value. But when you can give your kids disapline and a love of learning, and a sense of fun and security, you have succeeded!

Check out all the free activities you can. I didn't have any set schedule for arts and crafts but EVERYTHING became fair game for turning into a project. Especially art in books. The library played a huge part in our lives.
Art projects, science experiments, food, cultures, dress up, geography, they were all found at the library.

The kids did educational computer games and building toys. Play groups and nature walks. They folded laundry and dusted. They had enough down time to get bored and find stuff to do. They planted flowers and played in sand. They played around on musical instruments and baked with me.
They learned to behave and to clean up.

Enjoy all.

Meet Ups can be a good way to find out about things. See if there are park and rec programs, have play dates with their friends, etc. I have DD in camp for 2 weeks, VBS for a week and summer school through her ES in July. After that, we'll do not much as we get ready for SD to return to college. I would go to parks and the pool, but summer can be lazy. What I would also do, though, is make sure that you and DH are on the same page regarding the house and chores and division of labor.

I also agree that before preschool, start to get them up when they need to be up, get into a routine of breakfast by x time and dressed by x time so that it's not a shock to the system. We keep about the same bedtime all summer, so that she wakes up about the same time anyway.

Books like 1,2,3 magic and How To Talk So Kids Will Listen can help you get them on track.

Sounds like your son will benefit from having a basic weekly or daily schedule. I would also find a good mom's group in the area, it was a way for me to have adult conversations and for my son to get to have regular playmates.

I leave it a bit more open than the other replies. I would just add to join a moms group, maybe check meetup.com and go to workout or something for yourself too.

I think that with kids that nap your days certainly need to be semi-structured. Structure prepares them for life as well but as we all know, you need to be flexible also. You have some great ideas on how to fill the days. You'll probably have the biggest adjustment coming from a work environment. Enjoy your time with them. 3 and 4.5 are SWEET ages. ENJOY!

I'm a displaced worker and thought I would take the opportunity to spend quality time. My calendar is full-the kids are in organized sports (they never could when I was working), they've gone to day camps, library, etc. Etc. Etc. I didn't realize that we needed a little time to transition and even my SO told me I was doing too much. I'm getting tired of the constant running. I miss my job.
Now were looking forward to summer vacation and a little less planning.
Definitely agree that you need to shower everyday and remember yourself-but I put so much effort into my new "job" I wasn't getting time to snuggle and enjoy my babies. Once our calendar opened a little and I could build matchbox car tracks and start the garden with them we all started enjoying each other more.

I suggest you find some kind of camp for your kids. I really like the bible camps because they are low cost and only are a couple hours a day. You can not be home with your kids all day every day. Do they attend school now? They really should be able to follow directions and act appropriately, especially the 4 1/2 year old. Try to get out of the house everyday, even if it's just a trip to the park. Also, have fun activities at home like arts and crafts and cooking. My son loves it when I play with him, so be flexible and play with your kids. Also, plan some trips to the beach or pool as well as playdates a few times a week if possible as well as at least 1 formal lesson per child. The 4 1/2 year old can do 2 lessons. Don't forget about the free activities at the library.

Plan your days and weeks. I already have a loose plan in place for my 4 year old while he's off from preschool for the summer. Monday's at this point are pretty free, Tuesday will be storytime at the local library, alternating with a free movie at the mall, Wednesdays a $1 movie, Thursdays a farmer's market we take lunch to and he'll play in the fountains to stay cool, Friday evenings a concert in our mall's courtyard. It still allows a lot of time for him to play with his toys, his water table, do crafts, play at the park, etc., while giving him a variety of things to do, all free to me unless I chose to buy a treat.

Plan a time of day to do your crafts/activities and reading, build your schedule around that. Depending on if your son will be going to pre-K in the fall or not you can make adjustments to your schedule however best it works for all of you. Planning, even loosely, a routine of sorts will help :)

I think it's going to depend on you. Whether you like to be busy, or whether you want down time with your kids, and how they respond to both.

You'll have some days where you WANT to go, go, go and do as much as you can with the kids, as many activities as you can manage. Some days, you'll want to chuck it all and spend the whole day in the house playing with them and playdough. Either way, you'll find your sweet spot and figure out what works best for you and your kids. Listen to their cues, too and give it a few weeks to figure it out.

I second the suggestion to get showered and dressed each day.

And don't forget your value. It's common after being in the workforce to feel a bit inadequate after you make the transition. Staying at home with your kids is of tremendous value. Don't lose sight of how important a job that is. So don't compare it to your former career. It's AS important as your other job, if not more. Don't diminish it. You are doing something wonderful.

I belong to a bunch of different groups (I homeschool..but my kids are young, 5, 3 and 4 months). I usually fill up my calendar a month ahead of time with activities....Monday afternoons are a set playdate with two other families. In the morning, I usually do "catch up" stuff, shopping, cleaning, what not. Then we do two big outings a week, if not three. So tomorrow we are going to Cantigny (don't forget about Cantigny! They have a terrific kids garden, tanks, and a nice bathroom near a playground for convenient picnics!) Wed we will rest (well, have some friends over for a playdate in the afternoon). Thursdays is a music thing at the library and then picnic and the afternoon at the park. You get the idea. We have some set plans, filled with gaps of down down.

btw, I shower and dress every day by 8 --even if we aren't leaving the house. Things are always busy around here, so it's best to act as if staying home is a job. It is, there is house work to do, and kids to play with, etc.