Advice on "Developing" 10 Year Old Daughter

Updated on October 12, 2010
M.E. asks from Saint Cloud, FL
14 answers

My 10 year old daughter has started to complain that her "breast area" hurts. I know she is starting to develop (seems a little early to me) and I was wondering if there is anything we can do to help ease the discomfort. I don't remember being uncomfortable when I finally developed, so I don't know what to do to help her. I appreciate any ideas or advice!

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So What Happened?

Thanks ladies! I feel better prepared to deal with her questions now. I do have The Care and Keeping of You. It's a wonderful book. We went through it together this afternoon. I will let her read it on her own and let her have time to think it all through. She does have training bras, she doesn't want to wear them, because she is afraid that someone will notice, even though you cannot see them through her uniform shirts. I think she will feel better once she realizes that she is not alone in this and that some of her friends are going through the same things. Thanks again!!

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It's not early - she's right on about average. My daughter was 9 or 10 when she started getting growing sensations and a bit of "swelling" there.
I would let her take a pain killer (tylenol or ibuprofin) if she really needs it, but if it's mild discomfort I wouldn't give her too much. Plenty of hydration and exercise (sounds weird, but the better shape she's in the better she'll feel). And get her a couple of "training bra's". That helped my daughter feel more comfortable soon.

It wouldn't hurt to call the pediatrician about the pain, especially if its more than just occasional or if its severe enough to interfere with activities - he can always let you know if she needs to be seen before her next checkup.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

A training bra not only gets one in the habit of putting on something extra in the morning... but also will keep bouncing nipples with new nerves from jiggling about. Any time between age 9-17 is totally normal for this phase of development. Just like walking or talking, there's a "normal" range. And your DD sounds comfortably in it.

If she's developing quickly, a few other things will help as well:

- Training bra (to reduce pressure on nerves)
- Ibuprofen (for inflamation)
- Stretchmark cream (just like pregnant bellies, breast skin has to stretch like crazy as well)

One thing to know... universally, throughout the world... girls entering puberty tend to tack on 10-30lbs of "pudge". Some EXTENSIVE studies have been done on this overseas in socialized med countries / aka 1st world countries (hundreds of thousands of participants over 30-50 years) and a really COOL thing has been found:

- Girls who diet (or who are made to diet) during this 12-18 mo period struggle with their weight until menopause.

- Girls who do NOT diet, the weight melts off over a 30-90 period the first year they start bleeding WITHOUT ANY EFFORT (aka, no diet or increased exercise)... and do NOT struggle with their weight throughout their lives.

Since you're entering this period... just wanted to give you a heads up.

((You don't find these studies HERE, because we don't have the money for it. A "big" study in Sweden has 100,000 -500,000 people in it... and a "long" study lasts for 2-3 GENERATIONS. A "big" study in the US has 6,000 people in it and lasts for 5 years. So our medical profs and scientists depend on studies from countries where *real* big and long studies can take place.))

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I remember my breasts being sore while they were growing, similar to the soreness during a period, and really itchy. I don't remember doing anything about it, but maybe an anti-inflammatory?

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K.E.

answers from Buffalo on

Motrin, and talk to your MD, see if this is normal. I do not remember being uncomforatable.

I am sure it is normal, all people handle discomfort differently and hormones effect people differently, so I would not worry untill the MD tells you to worry.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't remember pain being involved--do you think she might be getting her period?

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T.W.

answers from Denver on

It is normal to feel discomfort. It is hormonal just like when we get our periods, your breasts just hurt. I would give her some Tylenol and make sure she stays away from the foods that encourage hormonal issues like chocolate, dairy, sugar, etc. Good luck!

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E.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

One thing to watch for is about a year after their breast start to develop their period hits. I was the first girl in my class to get her period and i hated it. I got mine when i was 11 and in sixth grade. My breasts started to develop when i was ten as well.
I'd go with the pain reliever that someone else suggested but it won't help all the time. He breasts might hurt because she developing fast. Is large chests a thing in your family? you might need to prepair her for it.
I know i wasn't prepaired. My mom is super flat chested and so is most her family. What i didn't know is my father's side had large breasts. I now wear an F and G size at 20 years old and after having two kids. Its not fun but it is easier on her if you prepair her for it.
Good luck I know how she feels.
ps- Don't forget or put off talking to her about puberty. My mother never talked to me i just figured it out on my own. But my mom went threw a terrible time she didn't get her period until she was sixteen. then her mother and her friends never told her anything about it. Her mom was too embarrased to, her older sister didn't care to and her friends figured she already knew. When she got it at school she freaked out and thought she was gonna die. I still feel sorry for her whenever i think about it. It must have been horrible. So make sure you talk to her and don't put it off.

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

I would make a little celebration out of it, so it isn't scary. First, schedule a doctor's checkup with her. A female doc might make her more comfortable, but they can check her out and go over the 'medical' side of what's happening.

Afterwards, I would go out, just the two of you, for a special dessert or cup of hot chocolate or shopping- something special to show your little girl that you understand she is getting bigger. Target has lots of cute little stretchy training bras in colors and little patterns you could get.

Remember- things like puberty can be scary and icky, or a nervous-but-exciting step forward into the next stage of life! You're the mom and you will help shape which this is for your little girl!

Then I would TOTALLY recommend getting the American Girl book 'The Care and Keeping of YOU' . I've worked for over a decade at a children's book store and this is our 'go-to' book for girls. It goes through everything about getting your period and other changes to the way teen and tween girls act, all sorts of useful information. Read it yourself first so you're familiar with it, and then give it to your daughter and just let her look at it in her own time.

You might want to have the 'period' talk now too, just in case, since it sounds like that could come soon. Remember- the book will help you, don't be embarrassed! Think how much WORSE it would be for your sweet little girl to start her period not knowing what to expect! Just be factual and honest, so she will be prepared.

Good luck mama!

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L.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I developed breasts between 8 and 10 years of age. And I distinctly remember the breast buds being EXTREMELY TENDER. I remember bumping them on things, like my desk at school, and just cringing. And I have heard this same thing from other women, so personally, I think it's totally normal. I didn't do anything to treat it, as I think I was probably too embarrassed to ask about it at that time. But I don't see that a litte tylenol or motrin could hurt, if it's particularly bad. But for the most part, I think it's just something she'll have to adjust to, and will most likely grow out of, as her breasts continue to grow. One of the many wonderful things we ladies get to experience!

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K.M.

answers from Tampa on

Diet, it is all about diet- make sure there is NO soy in her diet- not easy these days as it is a cheap filler put into processed food. Soy acts like estrogen, and brings puberty early.
Check with WestonPrice.com and get inexpensive great information on diet.
You are so right- it is early. We slowed this process down with my granddaughter, and gave her a couple more years of being a little girls.
best, k

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C.H.

answers from Dallas on

I heard once that girls that had a high fat diet (McDonalds a lot, etc) were more apt to develop more quickly. They didn't know if it was the high fat or the hormones that come in milk and meat.

Ask your pediatrition about teh hurt part, but you might also try giving her a really healthy, organic diet to see if you can slow this down. You don't need to tell her why, just do it. The grocery stores like Whole Foods, Market Central, etc sell meats like that. You can get milk that's free of hormones. These things can be blamed on cancer too so it is good both ways.
We used training bras (stretchy) to kind of flatten things out and prevent materials from touching the sensitive part. Do they still make those?

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A.W.

answers from Miami on

actually one thing that might help is to get a training bra. I developed early, and wearing a training bra helped me. I'm not sure why, but it can't hurt!

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R.L.

answers from Tampa on

My 10 year old started having the same issue. Children's Advil and training (padded bra) to help support during the day and really good vitamins works for her.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I didn't do anything for myself or my daughter. But moist heat might help if the pain is annoying or unbearable. Otherwise, she just needs to be careful. Good luck! BTW~ although, I started going through that at age 13-14, my daughter started developing at age 9. Started her cycle at 11... ugh! She's 15 now. So it seems like your daughter is right on time... it seems to get earlier and earlier huh?

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