Advice on Getting 18 Month Old to Eat a Variety of Foods and Daycare Advice

Hi My name is N. and i am new here.I totaly understand you.I stayed at home with my little one until a few month ago.NOw i working again and i think it was the best thing for me and him.first he went to nelson learning center.Its a real good daycare/school for kids start age 18 month.maybe you should look into itand see if there have a spot take care

Hello, I'm S. D. and I have 2 boys ages 4 and 21 months. On the subject of eating... I've learned children go through stages where sometimes they just don't want to eat certain things or they don't want to eat at all. Don't worry, just keep offering it to her every now and then and when she's ready she will take it. Until then give her what she will eat. However, try not to give her too many sweets because if you do she will not go back to eating veggies. Also tell her the veggies will help her grow into a big girl and be strong (that trick works with my boys because they like the idea of having muscles).
It is good for children to attend daycare and become acclimated to interacting with other children as well as learning new things. But get ready for her to catch all of the colds going around because she hasn't been exposed to this environment and her immune system will take a while to build up. But that is a good thing because it is better for her to build a strong immune system now.
Best of luck!!

Hi K.,

I was struggling with the daycare issue as much as you were. I finally decided to put her in daycare. I was very apprehensive at first given that my daughter stayed home with me all that time. Before you pick a daycare make sure that it is the very best you can find. I went through several ones before I finally found the right one for my daughter and unfortunately there was a waiting list there, but it all worked out eventually. What I am trying to say is that if it is just any daycare don't do it. But find the very best one where they will actually take care of your child. It might be pricey but it is very well worth it. My daughter started making complete sentences within a week at the daycare. Daycares do have structured class activities for 18 months old. She still has some separation anxiety in the morning when I leave her, but I've stayed and peeked on her and the minute I leave she is fine. One thing daycare does is teach your child social skills and intellectually stimulate your child, which unless you are a teacher might be hard for you to do. It also teaches them discipline which I personally could not and still cannot make my daughter follow my instructions. But at daycare she has no problem listening to her teachers. There are some things mommies can do and some things teachers do. Together you bring up a better child.

As for the pickiness while eating, I've noticed that if my daughter does not like something, and yes, she will spit it out even though she is hungry. So my advice is to be a loving mother and if she spits something out, try and get her something else ( i know everybody says you should not do that!) But remember it is the nutrition in the first five years of life that shapes your child's future.

Hope it helps!

I used to be a preschool teacher and one thing that I did with my children when they wouldn't try new things was to tell them to try one bite. if they did not try at least one bite of something, say their veggies, then they could not get seconds on thier pasta or meat or whatever it is they are having. Your doctor was right, they will eat if they are hungry. Hope this helps.

I have 2 kids (almost 4 and 19 mos) my son is extreamly picky. My daughter is ok but of course always looks up to her older brother. My advice is to keep offering vegies (peas, carrots, corn, things that taste good to kids) and try different things like the organic juices and bars. Because my daughter is just now hitting the "I dont wanna eat it" stage, but she loves green goddes juice and super food odwalla bars (in the health food section of the grocery). It also helps to put them on your lap so that they can sample your food.

I also just put my daughter into day care. I have been working since she was born but went back and forth between part time and home etc. I think at 18 mos. kids are ready to socialize with other children and with other authority figures.

I dont know where you live or where you plan to work but would highly reccomend Trinity Luteran Childrens Center on Washington near downtown.

Good luck and best wishes with everything!

K.

I'm just going to ditto everyone who said "try a mother's day out" program over daycare at this age. Unless you need to go back to work for other reasons, stay home with your baby as long as you can. There is never any substitute that will be better than mommy. For socialization, get involved in a playgroup, do a mother's day out, go to story time at the library, visit local parks (kids always start playin' together), go to church. There's tons of ways for socialization to happen and your baby to build those skills and all the other necessary skills without full-time daycare. Eating - they do that in cycles. As tastebuds develop, they get picky and then not-so-picky at times. Keep offering different foods and healthy foods, eventually they'll eat them again!

Hi K.,

Try the book First Meals by Annabel Karmel--it is a really great cookbook for feeding little kids healthy food, has lots of ideas for fun, appealing presentation. You can get it on Amazon, and she has written several other books as well. Right now I am dealing with a similar situation--an 8 month old who will only eat baby cereal, avocado puree and banana puree--we are introducing solids and she just doesn't like most of the vegetables I've made, even the sweet ones. I just keep trying new things and the book has been a real help in coming up with ideas.

Regarding daycare--do your homework carefully, lots of daycares say they have a lesson plan but they really don't. You might look into a Montessori preschool--some friends of mine tried that for a child who was bored at home--she went half days and liked it. Also check about what they feed the kids at snack times--drop in unexpectedly so you can see--a lot of daycares feed them snacks that are processed and sugary and that can make a picky eater worse as it gets them addicted to eating that stuff. Good luck!

C. :-)

K.,

Your Pediatrician is right about the eating. Toddlers can survive on surprisingly small amounts of food. Don't let your child see that it upsets you or it could become a power struggle. And don't think your child needs a special, separate meal from the rest of the family. With the exception of very spicy foods or maybe sushi, she can have whatever you have, just chopped up well and not too hot.

Regarding day care, don't feel pressured to put your daughter in to "keep up." Taking her to the park or holding an occasional playgroup is plenty of interaction at this age. All they do is parallel play at this age anyway. Daycare will babysit her with lessons that are 1-2 minutes long because that is the attention span of the age. If you don't feel confident teaching, take her to the public library for lap sit storytime or enroll her in Kinder Music or something.

No one can replace you. You will get about 5 years with her and then most likely she will spend the majority of her awake hours with a teacher in public school. Now is your time to teach her lessons like unconditional love, importance of families, morals, ethics, values, etc. You will never again have her undivided attention and influence like you do now. Take advantage of it.

It doesn't mean that a child can't go to preschool for a year or two before Kindergarten. It is a great preparation in so many ways. But don't give those first formative years away to someone else full time (who will only be a part of your child's life for a year at best) if you don't absolutely have to. I taught preschool and worked at one of the nicest and most reputable daycares in town after graduating college and I can honestly say that daycare is highly overrated. No one tells you about the frequent illnesses, children's learned need for constant stimulation, direction and company (i.e. they don't entertain themselves anymore,) the stress on the parents both emotionally and financially. A decent daycare will cost you $850 a month or more.

I totally understand that some parents have no other option and daycare is a lifesaver for them. But please don't feel pressured to put your child in one just because you believe daycare can do a better job than you can. It simply isn't the case. Especially at this age, you can do more for your daughter than any daycare ever could.

Best wishes,
S.

Hey there,
I am also a mother of a pickey eater. Though my daughter is older than yours she has just started going thru this stage of not wanting to eat. my daughter has never really eaten meat or fruits. But she loved(s) salads & vegtables. So are children are different in that perspective. But anyway, what I did was just get her what she wanted. I would have to just start naming things till we found something that she liked. She went thru a small stage in just eating purple onions & only from subway. so we were always at subway. I did & do put my foot down when it comes to eating sweets though. I dont let her eat too many at all. I dont let her eat the sugary cereals or candy or really even poptarts. But here lately thats the one thing that i can get her to eat. so I made the exception b/c at least a pop tart has some (not too much) nutrition value in it.
As a suggestion I would see if she would take vitamins. I had to do that with my daughter mainly b/c she doesnt like fruit & only eats very little meat.
I think it has to do some with their taste buds as they are still developing.
Children do go thru stages & not wanting to eat. That is totally normal. But what I do is I try to offer her something everytime we eat, just to let her know its time. & to try to get her on an eating schedule.
But with no success I just kinda gave up on that. I jsut let her tell me when she is hungry, though I still offer it thru out the day. But I have found that she is only hungry at night @ 8-9Pm.
Anyway I hope that some of this helps, seeing as how we kinda have the same problems.
Take care & let me know if you find any other suggestions as to how to get them to eat
Jill

My 3 year old is going through the picky-thing right now too, so I'll be checking to see if you get any good advice there. He does love those drinkable yogurts though, you might add that if you haven't already.
About daycare, I would say just work with her at home on learning language and colors, etc. When she's about 2 1/2 or 3, I'd consider a Mother's Day Out program over a preschool. She is only young once and she'll be scheduled with regular curriculum soon enough. If you want to teach her yourself, you could try purchasing a preschool curriculum like funshine express or visiting a teacher's store to find themes and activities. Really, though at 18 months, you are still her best teacher.

K.

I have a 20 mth old and she to this day happens to be a picky eater. She'll eat about 5 small meals and snacks per day and then at supper time barely touches her plate. My sister in law has two children alot older than mine and she once told me that her sons ate the same thing every day. I know we would think that we would want variety. But babies are different. They eat what they want every day, the same thing if that. Basically my little girl eats green beans nearly every meal. I do try to mix it up a bit, add beans or chicken or corn. Something, but sometimes she just eats the green beans. It's just the norm.
To answer you other question. My kids go to Discovery Depot and "yes" they are learning. My little girl comes home knowing a different color, different shapes, even letters. She loves it and she rarely cries for me. Most of the time she runs right into her class. I cry cause she wouldn't give me a hug goodbye. Anyways, I hope this helps.

L.

My best friend ran a daycare for years and has 2 children.
This is her advice.
1. If she is happy at home then keep her with you. She will interact soon enough in kindergarten.
2. A teacher once told me -
- teachers prefer children which have not been molded by daycare so they can prepare them properly
- by third grade those kept at home vs those sent to daycare are on the same level anyway
- avoid school burn-out - (starting them in that environment too early)

Good luck with the food thing, keep trying. She is developing all the social skills she needs with the other girl to play with. Anything daycare can do, you can do at home on your schedule.

My youngest daughter is also 18 months old and a picky eater. We just had her 18-month check up and her doctor was a little concerned that she doesn't like vegetables. My older daughter loves them. I am not so crazy about most of them myself. When I cook dinner, I always fix a plate for the little one. Most of the time she dumps her bowls upside down on her high chair tray or over the side onto the floor. I think she eats pretty decent during lunch at daycare so I don't worry so much about dinner. I will give her some fruit just so she has something. One night she only ate the goldfish crackers I put on her plate. The next night I refused to give them to her and she ended up eating nothing. I would think as long as your daughter is eating something, even if it is the same thing over and over again, that is better than nothing. And if the doctor is not concerned, she should be fine.

As far as the daycare situation, I am a believer in daycare. My older daughter attended from 2 months to 5 years and my 18 month old has attended since 9 weeks. Every mom has different opinions about daycare. Some are totally against it. You should think about your own child and do what you think is best for the both of you. I do not have enough patience to stay at home by myself, let alone with a young child, so going to daycare and interacting with other children and teachers is what is in the best interest for my family.

My advice is about daycare. Stay home with your baby as long as you can! If you're worried that she isn't getting enough interaction with other children you could always enroll her parttime. My son goes to daycare on Mondays and Wednesdays from 9-2 at a local church. I'm not a member of the church but I had heard about the program and signed my son up for it. It's about $100-120 a month depending on how many M & W are in the month. It's called "The mother's day out program" and a lot of churches participate in it although their days and times vary.

I love that I am able to stay home with my son but I felt that he needed to be around other children his age too. Plus-it's always good for your daughter to be away from you for a while. And it's good for you too. I find that two days a week is enough time for me to do shopping and have some ME time to relax.

I think that preschool programs (where they actually try to teach the children) doesn't start until age 3 or 4. So-if you did put her in daycare now it would probably just strictly be daycare. It's too hard for them to really structure classes for children as young as 18 months old.

Hope I helped a little bit! If you want any information on the mother's day out program just email me. It's been wonderful for my son and me (and for other parents I know).

Good luck with your decision!

J.

Hello my son is the same way he loves hot dogs for lunch I will try and feed him things and he will not eat it. some days he will eat eggs but not that often. I doctor told me the same thing that he will eat when he is hungry. The other thing my sun loves to eat is mac and cheese and he love to eat fries. So i just let him pick when he eats and sometimes i even let him pick. Maybe if she picks what she wants to eat she will eat more.

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My daughter was the same with food from about 18mos to 3 years. As long as she's eating and hasn't stopped growing, don't worry. If she gets hungry enough, she'll eat. My nephew will only eat pizza, chicken nuggets and buttered noodles and he's 3. She'll be fine!
As for the daycare, my daughter was in a home daycare from about 6 months to 3 years old and she loved it. She called the lady Mama Betty (her name was Betty) and she loved interacting with her friends. You need to do what's comfortable for you- whether it be an in-home daycare (licensed of course), a Kindercare-type place or whatever. Since she is still an only child, she needed the interaction to get her ready for school, and it did wonders. She makes friends like you wouldn't believe and gets along with other kids pretty damn well for a 4 1/2 year old. Bottom line, do what you are comfortable with and don't let anyone sway you from that.

well i have a 9 y/o and a 16 month.my toddler also only eats what he wants too. i never give him to much junk food though. the doctor told me the same thing. he is healthy, and growing well. so i wouldnt worry to much. well im happy for you on thinking of going back to work.i would be doing the same thing exept im preggers agian. having kids at a daycare is awsome. gets them prepared for school, and lets them interact with other kids. just choose your daycares very wisely.

She's getting to the age where pretty soon you'll think she's living on air alone! All kids go through the picky stage, I think. My seven year old is in it right now. My son is 9 and is starting to come back around to the normal way of eating. Sometimes he eats more than he should. I wouldn't be worried about her eating habits as long as you are offering healthy choices and she's not losing weight. If she's gaining and growing, you're doing alright.
As far as daycare vs. home...that's not a tough one. If you don't need the money, stay home! You'll be spending roughly $150-200 a week in daycare anyway. Not to mention all the colds and viruses she'll come home with or catch while there. She's got an older sister and a friend to play with. I think that's good socialization. You may want to check into area play groups or something to get her interacting with more people. She's not even two years old yet, she has plenty of time to acquire those social skills. I stayed home with mine until my youngest started kindergarten. I think it's worth it. You can begin to teach her at home the basic skills she'd get in daycare or preschool. You're doing a fine job. Listen to your heart.

As far as the eating goes, picky eating at this age is totally normal. I don't know if you get Parents magazine, but in their "as they grow" part the page on one year olds is all about picky eating. It has info abou why they go through that stage, what to do about it, and then in the back of the magazine they usually have simple fun recipes to try.

About daycare. My son is 13mths old and he goes to daycare full time because both my husband and I work. He loves it. I am hoping to be able to stay home with him in the future but I still plan on sending him a couple days a week somewhere because I think it is good for their social development and independance. You may want to check out a mother's day out program because they usually are offered about twice a week or if you want to do something with her while she is also with other kids her age, Broadmoor Library has a really good story time for babies and toddlers. Gymboree is also supposed to have really good music and gym programs for that age, but I think they can be kind of expensive.

Try reading http://www.amazon.com/Disease-Proof-Your-Child-Feeding-Ri... :Disease Proof Your Child by Dr. Joel Furhman. His books all have great information on nutrition, but this one is specific to kids. It includes kid-tested recipes that have plenty of veggies.

Well as far as the food thing goes, my little girl did the same thing around the same time. Just like your doctor said, don't worry about it. Mine even told me to just give her the hotdogs and lunch meat. i don't know if I did the right thing or not but now she eats her vegetable just fine and she is 2. I think it is just a phase they go through. Now as far as her still needing you, I tink she does. I was so against being a stay at home mom at first but wow has it paid off. I am starting back to work when my little girl goes to preschool but Not until. Yes I am a proud momma but seriously, I think my little girl has learned way more from me than any kid does in daycare. Also, there are many smart kids out there but as far as the children go in my family, any one of us can pick out the ones of us who went to daycare or the ones who stayed at home with momma. In the long run, "daycare kids" may not be any less smart than the others but for now while they are little, they def have the advantage. I hope this helps you make your decision. Either way though, your child will be fine but I bet he/she really does need you more than you think!