Advice on How to Always Be "In the Moment"

I'd say your absolutely wonder woman if this is the first time this has happened in 16 months! Don't you worry one single bit about it. It happens to everyone and yes it will get worse when your new baby comes but don't worry about it. You've got a lot going on and it's only natural for your mind to wander from time to time. Not only that but it teaches your kids that sometimes you are not totally available for them and allows them to gain a little bit of independance which isn't a bad thing. Good luck on the birth of your new baby!!!

I'm also guilty of not being able to keep work at work. (and I have no excuse as my job NEVER sends work home with me...) HOWEVER, I would cut yourself some slack. I seem to remember that for the last month of my pregnancy, I was a total space case. The last days were the worst. That is totally normal and I wouldn't worry yourself about it. At least your son comes to get your attention rather than use it as an opportunity to wander off! (I'm 99% sure my daughter would use it as a chance to bolt!)

I think this is a great question. I don't think we owe it to our kids to always be "on" for them, but I do feel like I owe it to myself to make the most of my time with them and to be more present. Because this time goes by so fast (mine are now 7 and 4) and it's so ironic that on the one hand I want to hold onto it forever, but on the other hand I rush through every day.

That's not an answer, I know - but if you find one, pass it along. I hear that yoga and meditation can help (not that I have time, haha.)

Buy a journal. Leave it in the car or your purse. Before you start the car write down everything that happened and upset you at work. Write a to do list for work then also. That way it is off your mind for your evening with the family.

Make daily routine lists. They are just a blue print not a list to track what you actually. Example mine includes stupid stuff like lay out clothes for my son's school, lunch, back pack, homework. Mine is wash your face, feed the cats. Stupid time consuming stuff we do every day. That way I feel free to do other things and be in the moment.

If I am upset I write it down right now. I do not want to carry anything that takes away from my son on my heart and mind. For me if I write it down I do not dwell on it. I feel better. I just write I do not edit or worry what I write.

Don't be hard on yourself! I have three kids, and I feel lucky when I can be "in the moment" with any one of them. You are pregnant and working, and human. Your son is very mature to know to get your attention so calmly, mine would probably all be screaming at me :). Anyway, I am sure you are in the moment as much as you can be, and that he doesn't feel slighted in any way. Just make sure when you can you spend as much time as possible with him, especially after the baby comes.

Good luck!

Well, first off congrats on your soon to be new addition. Don't be too hard on yourself, your VERY pregnant, you have a toddler and you hold a full time job outside the home. I'd they is enough to make anyone space out. Beleive me you only get spacier with the second one, no sense beating yourself up over it. It's called being bussy and space(sleep deprived...see what I mean LOL). I knwo I felt that way often when I was preggers with my second, and even for a few months after shew as born, that I wasn't attentive enough I spaced out, how horrible I was, that I was cheating my son out of the Mommy he deserved, etc., etc. I have found the best thing I can do iss to give them eacha little one on one time, even if it's just 15 minutes a day, and that way I am more likely to give them my undivided attention. Also, you have a lot on your mind right now, new baby on the way, and a toddler, it's a lot to wrap one's mind around, and pregnancy hormones make you spacier, it's a proven fact. Just know you are not the only mother who has done this, and it is okay. Good luck with your new one.

Cut yourself some slack! You're a human being with a lot of responsibility who is also pregnant. I think everyone does this at some time or another.

There's this horrible misperception that once we become mothers we have to turn ourselves into 'superwomen' who can raise the perfect child (sending them to every camp and lesson and buy all the right 'educational items'), spend every single moment nurturing them, while also keeping a spotlessly clean house, possibly have a successful career where you're always shooting for the top, and have a gourmet (but always healthy and made from scratch!) dinner waiting on the table for the family at supper time. To me, that's quite the lengthy measuring stick and the source of so much drama and stress for mothers.

I doubt you're ignoring your child 24-7. I would believe he feels loved and supported though, so continue doing the best you can.

C.,

Don't be too hard on yourself. First of all you have "pregnancy brain", actually "END of pregnancy brain". It's totally normal. I found myself drifting very often during my pregnancy.

I just had my second baby 9 weeks ago and have a 2 y/o already. At first, you are 100% wrapped up in the new baby and that's normal. Don't feel guilty. In our house, my DH stepped up and really spent a lot of time with Jacob (our older one). Before Ryan (baby) came, Jacob was all "Mama, mama mama." After the couple of weeks my DH spent with him, everything turned to "Daddy, daddy daddy."

It's not that I didn't spend time with Jacob, but it was limited because I was caring for and breast feeding Ryan. I would encourage Jacob to come sit by me when I was feeding or holding Ryan but his attention span is, well zero - lol. As soon as Ryan was sleeping, I would shift my attention to Jacob and made sure to spend time with him. When I could, I would grab Jacob and take a run to the store and leave the baby with Dad. It was a special trip for him and Mom to take.

Anyway, don't feel guilty about your mind drifting to a work issue. Mine does, my husbands does - everyone's does.

Good luck with the delivery and congrats!

T.

I agree with the other posters. You've got alot on your plate, and your son isn't suffering because you spaced out. But if it helps you, then set aside some time, and be very firm and focused, for just you and him. I'm sure that's what you were doing anyway, so take some time with him and just get away - a walk in the park, a tricycle ride, go to a pumpkin patch....

Today's woman, let alone today's mom, already has so many pressure on her, try not to add any more yourself!!! Don't place that guilt on yourself.