Advice on Moving to a Bed

Same exact situation with my 4 1/2 yr old daughter. I still lay with her. She also has always been a vomiter too (so letting her cry, would not only be mean but messy-lol) But cherish that time, I KNOW its hard.. But they're only little once and if they're the type that needs/wants you to lay with them - do it :) My mom did it with me and my brother and sister.. and we're all super-duper close.. I wouldn't change anything :)
Good luck

A., You need to get out of his bed! I did that with my first, and when #2 came along, it was a mess! Try sitting in a chair next to the bed. I took 2 weeks to train my son ( he was the same age as yours ) First i sat next to the bed as he cried, i'd talk to him, but not get in the bed, or pick him up. If he got up out of the bed, I'd leave the room...one night of that, and he stayed in the bed. Night 3 or so, quit talking to him...maybe hummmm. then a few nights later, do bed routine, and be quiet. Few nights later, move the chair towards the middle of the room...few nights later by the door. It was two weeks of agony for me, but I now have a little boy that I can do bed time routine with, give a last hug and kiss, and walk out the door...I also did this method with my 2nd and 3rd, and so glad that I did. The books say to do this method in a week, but my son was like yours...standing at the gate screaming but he didn't vomit, he'd hold his breath till he passed out. It is a struggle for both of you, but the end result is worth it...espically when you are going to be tired and have your new baby needing the attention too. You won't be able to lay down in his bed with a newborn! It is also nice when you go to spend the night at someone elses house too...we've had friends from out of town stay with us, and OMG I couldn't believe how hard of a time they had getting thier little one to sleep. she may as well have gone to bed with him, cause it ruined the whole rest of her evening. Be firm, they need to learn to get to sleeep on thier own. Good luck to you!

My daughter isn't to that stage yet... but a friend of mine moved her daughter to a big girl bed a few months ago. She actually reintroduced a water bottle at bedtime for a short while just so her daughter would stay in one place for awhile, which was typically long enough for her to fall asleep.

Also, you may just have to lay with him for a bit. It IS all new and exciting. Having mamma there comforts him and provides something familiar. I'm sure it will get shorter and shorter eventually... just may take some time.

Keep in mind though... since he's never been a good sleeper it won't change just because he's in a big boy bed.

My child has a gaurdrail up on her big girl bed and she feels comforted by that. I also line the spots where the rail doesn't cover with pillows. I made i just like her crib, just bigger and more room to move. I also would play in her room during the day so she could see the room and ask questions. We just stared using a night light with her too, she enjoys a little light when she is in bed so she can see. I have also let her take cardboard books to bed to read till she falls asleep. I've pretty much done everything I can so I don't have to be present. We used to lay with her, but after a week, we didn't want to get into the habit. She didn't seem to protest when we stopped because she usually had a comfort toy or book. A friend also suggested giving the child a piece of clothing with your scent on it...never tried it myself but just an idea. Good luck!

I would continue to sit with him. The time will get shorter and shorter that he needs you to fall asleep. He will get more comfrtable in his new "big boy" room. You probably have a night time routine..nice warm bath, jammies, read a book...if he has a relaxing routine before bed, the same every night and knows what to expect he'll get it. I don't think the cry it out thing is good for anyone! Good for you that you have the patience to go the "sitting" route!! My kids were this way and so are my granddaughters. Don't stress about getting it done before #2 arrives. I put a loveseat in the girls' bedroom when #2 arrived and it stayed there til #3 and after. It was very convenient to have a place to sit, nurse the new baby and sit with the sleepy toddler. Congrats on the new baby coming! :)

Not sure if this will help you out but this is what a did for my now "4" year old. When we moved her to a big girl bed the October before my youngest was due (January.) I would put her in her bed and tell her it was time for bed, but she could have a few books to read in there w/her. Then I would sit, on the floor, w/my back to her (that part is important), until she would fall asleep. I would not talk to her unless she got out of bed, then I would pick her up and tell her "Its time for bed now"! I would continue to do that while moving myself closer to the door. Until finally I was out the door and she was totally fine w/it. It took about a week and she was good to go! It worked for us, hopefully it works for you too! Good Luck!

My only advice is to put him back in the crib and let the new baby sleep in a pack n play. Honestly I think this is the number one mistake parents of baby number two make. You are going to NEED him to be in a safe place when you are so dog tired. Most kids stop napping once they are in a big bed cause there is nothing to keep them there. I have heard and live through some very rough times when my second came. Anger came out in me that I never thought was there. All because I could not control my first borns sleep issues and I was sooooo tired!
It is not too late to put him back in the crib. Save yourself lots of trouble, time and tears.
My first born in almost three and is still in the crib. His little sister just turned one and is still in the pack n play. Life is good. They both take naps and sleep through the night. I even it during the day if he wants to play with a toy that he doesn't want the crawler to get - he plays with it in his crib and I put music on and leave the room. It is a beautiful thing! Cause it is one less fight and more peace in our home. Plus he feel secure sleeping in there. Don't give too much freedom too soon.

for us we have a down blanket so we bought our son a down blanket and it helped with the transition :)

Give him the hour for awhile - it's just a short time in the scope of his life with you - and you'll look back on that cuddle time with a smile, even though now it seems like a serious hassle. Use the time to think - plan your grocery list/meal menu/pray/write letters in your head/etc. Time to think is never a daytime priority for busy moms, so use that quiet time with your son.

I am a mom with 4 children now in their 20's. My eldest son did not sleep well - he still needs little sleep - and allowing him to scream to the point of vomiting was, looking back, a ridiculous power struggle. The rest of my children slept just fine.

I learned to not punish a child for being a child. There is no such thing as LOVING them too much.

All my children are now college graduates and have all traveled the world to some extent - and we did not foot that bill, nor do we support them now AND they all call/visit/still love us!

This may sound bad to some, but when you are desperate and running out of options, use the TV. I have TV's in my kids rooms with DVD players and I let them watch TV till they fall asleep. As they got to school age, they were already used to a good night sleep in their own bed without any problems, and we have set times when the TV gets shut off. After an hour of laying in their bed watching their favorite show, they are wound-down, calm, ready to sleep. If they don't lay quietly in their bed, they don't get to watch the TV. I've used this method for 16 years...it works.

Have a "bedtime routine". My 2 yr old daughter finds comfort in the predictability of the routine.

I use the 3-2-1 method. 3 stories, 2 songs, 1 prayer.

She loves it. I encourage my husband to use it because it averts disaster of staying up until 11:30pm on a weeknight.

During the day say something to the following:

"Honey, you are such a big boy now that you can sleep and have the best dreams with 3 stories, 2 songs, and 1 prayer.

repeat it after dinner. have him pick 5 sleeping buddies.

blessings.

My daughter is an awful sleeper and we've found that it takes a variety of "tricks" to get her to stay in her bed. We altar her room or bed on occasion and have her join in the process so she can feel owndership of the room. Our most recent addtion was geting a small aquarium with a light to be her night light. She named her fish and she gets to feed them at bedtime if she goes through the getting ready process with little to no argument. We often find her asleep with her head at the foot of the bed b/c she was watching her fish swim as she fell asleep.

Another trick we found is putting on her favorite cd. At first I thought t would keep her awake, but she sings along to her favorite song and eventually falls asleep...at least I don't have to lay next to her. We just keep praising her when she goes to bed well, we make a HUGE deal about it in the morning and talk about it leading up to bedtime about how a big girl goes to sleep.

Good luck, you're not alone, bedtime can be hard for lots of us moms!

My 2 year old started sleeping through the night once I stopped laying next to her until she fell asleep. I would take the gate off of his door. Let hime come out and put hime back in bed several times until he stays there. (have you ever seen supernanny? use this technique) I think he will feel better about being in his room if he knows he is not trapped. If you feel like you need a gate try putting it at the beginning of the hallway so he can only get to your room in the middle of the night and doesn't have free rane of the house. It will take several days and some crying but it wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I made a bed- time chart days ahead of time letting her know what was going to start happening at bed time. I took pictures of her getting ready for bed...bathtime, pj, brushing teeth etc. then in the final couple pictures she is giving mommy hugs and kisses and going to bed by herself or with a favorite stuffed animal. I hope this helps.

HI A.
Maybe if you move the bed time routine up to include quite play in the new room before you really start getting ready for bed.
Good luck, A. H