Advice on Soothing Restless Toddler at Bed Time

Updated on January 11, 2008
R.A. asks from Hays, KS
10 answers

Hello,
I have a 26 month old, we decided she was done with her pacifiers and told her for several months that she was getting too big for them. 3 days ago the pacifiers were gone. She doesn't ask for them or cry for them but has been very difficult to get her to take a nap and takes over an hour to unwind at bed time. We have a set routine, we sit in rocking chair and read books and then she goes willingly and lays in her bed. But then she tosses and turns, kicks the side of the bed, plays with her stuffed animals and blanket. I have to tell her many times it is time for sleep and to lay down. Usually she does not cry or fight me, she just can't seem to unwind. Help!! Any suggestions?

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S.I.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Try bathing her every night before bedtime. That wore my tow out and it wasn't long before they were out. It seems to calm them down, and I let them bate for awhile to wear them down (kinda like swimming does). Try this for a couple of weeks and see what kind of result you get. It may just take some time since she just lost the binky.

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S.W.

answers from Wichita on

Maybe you should just let her have the pacifier. My son had his at sleeping times until he was three. He gave it up fairly easily then; mostly on his own. He just couldn't take it out of our home and could only have it in bed. Good luck!

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J.P.

answers from Tulsa on

This is probably just a phase because I remember when my daughter used to do that around 2 years old. She's three now and we have a whole other set of bedtime issues. Probably just make sure she's not getting too much caffeine and sugar during the day and that she's having a regular amount of bowel movements so that she's comfortable. It'll probably pass and if it doesn't or gets worse you may talk to your doc about it.

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B.B.

answers from Tulsa on

My oldest daughter (now age 30!) had 3 pacifiers when she went to bed...1 in her mouth, & 1 in each hand. During the night as she slept, she rotated them without ever waking up! One day while we were on a drive, (she was 2) her uncle pretended that they "flew" out the window. She struggled each night & cried & was restless for about a week but then she got so tired eventually, fell off to sleep. We, too, read to her before she went to sleep & this settled her down somewhat. We got her a music box that played soft music & it took her only a couple of nights to relax. I know it was due to the external peaceful atmosphere that the soft music created in the room. Play the music very low even at nap time. Before you know it, your little girl will be 30 too!

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S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

You might start quiet time earlier in the evening. Maybe after supper, have her color or do sit down projects (play doh). Not sure if she watches tv in the evenings or not, but that can keep her awake later. I read somewhere, that when you read to kids before bed, to use a matter-of-fact voice, instead of the fun silly voice that you would use during the day. They still like listening to the story, but it isn't as stimulating. Next thing, just let her play in bed without interupting. I found when I interupt my toddler when he does this, it just prolongs the time it takes him to fall asleep. Good luck!

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J.M.

answers from St. Louis on

R.,

I have 2 girls (ages 4 and 6). I have a VERY scheduled routine for them and they go to bed every night at 7:00. Sometimes, they aren't ready to go to bed, and they, too, play with their stuffed animals, etc. and have done this since they were toddlers. My 6 yo has taken up reading to herself and my 4 yo has begun to look at picture books and telling her own stories. As long as they stay in bed in their own rooms, I have no problems with them staying awake for a while. Sometimes it can be as long as an hour. This has helped them become more independent, learn how to keep themselves busy, learn how to read, and learn how to love their own rooms. As long as your little one stays in her room (she doesn't even have to stay in bed) I wouldn't sweat it. Be proud that she doesn't pitch a fit and enjoys being by herself. A very wonderful pediatrician told me one time there were 3 things you could not force a child to do--1. eat 2. go to the bathroom and 3. sleep.

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C.S.

answers from Corvallis on

Hi there R.,

We gave up the binky not long ago too. Ugh! It was hard. You may just have to suffer through until she adjusts. It does get better though. ;)

You might try giving her a different comfort item. I know this sounds strange but when weaning from the breast, we gave our daughter a heating pad. NOT an electrical one!!! One of those bags full of beans or rice that you put in the microwave. She called it her "warm". We'd just warm it up for a few seconds and give it to her. It seemed to help.

Good luck to you!

C. Smith
www.EnhanceYourWayOfLife.com

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L.K.

answers from Springfield on

It seems like she needs something to replace her pacifier. Maybe a new stuffed animal or doll that is only for bedtime. You could also try music or a new nightlight. Maybe all three would help her relax! Anyway, she will probably learn to relax with time. Good luck.

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K.

answers from Peoria on

Sounds like she is just entertaining herself - which is a good thing! Try to resist the urge to go into her room. It's good for her to learn that she can do it by herself! Don't be surprised if she eventually starts getting out of the bed repeatedly to come tell you the many excuses why she can't fall asleep or needs you to come back in. That's when you will really get frustrated! :)

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M.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Ferber Method! I used it with my second little guy. We could go on for hours trying to get him down. Then I read in my "What To Expect The Toddler Years" about the Ferber Method of getting little ones to sleep so
my hubby and I tried it. We were at our wits end. We could get no sleep!
It took 3 nights and a lot of me crying because I wanted to go and comfort him. It physically hurt to not go, but in three days and with a lot of self-discipline, he had learned to put himself to sleep!

Basically, he learns that skill of quieting himself down and does not rely on someone else to do that for him. I also noticed he comforted himself during the day when something upset him. He, or in your case, she doesn't know that he is supposed to do it himself if the parent keeps doing it for her.

Try it. Luckily with my first one he was almost the perfect baby and toddler. My guys are 18 months apart and maybe that was another part of it. My older doted on his little brother and tried to anticipate his every want even before he, the older one, could talk. They are 5 and 7 now and inseparable.

Oh, and they still go to sleep on their own. Although, Mama can't help but once in awhile singing a lullaby after bedtime story!

Good Luck!
M.

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