How to I Get Rid of the Pacifier? Does Anyone Have Any Ideas!

Updated on October 11, 2008
C.M. asks from New Orleans, LA
31 answers

Hi!
My daughter is now turning nineteen months old. I am ready to get rid of the pacifier. The plan was to have it gone at one. Then she started to know what it is called. I can not get her to go to bed without it. She does not think about it during the day time at all. It is just when it is time to go to sleep. I have let her cry for fourty five minutes a few times before to try and see if she would eventually fall asleep without it and that did not happen. I ended up with a toddler who was angry and did not have her nap. I have also tried a sippy cup of water in her bed in stead of the pacifier as well. It also did not work for her. She has a securtiy cat that she has to have to sleep with but that pacifier is wanted as well. What do I do? Does anyone have any ideas? Thanks so much!

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So What Happened?

So thanks so much for all the advice! I tried almost everything. She still liked it after cutting the nipple. LOL. But we have actually gotten the pacifier away during the day now. She does not ask for it at all anymore. She still needs it to sleep but as you can see from the new request she is not sleeping that well right now. Thanks everyone for everything

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S.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

I waited until my daughter was 2 1/2 . She had wanted a fish, so I told her she could get a fish if she threw away her binkies.
We had a big "ceremony" around the garbage can. I cut the tip of the nipple off the binky (so she couldn't reach in and put it back into her mouth) and threw it out, we all said "bye bye". Then we went to the store and bought her a fish. The fish is till alive 2 yrs later!!!!!! She only had about 2 nights where she cried a little without her binky.

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R.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

My 21 month old was really attached to her pacifier, but only at bedtime also. She fell off the bed with it in her mouth one morning and cut her gums and they were really swollen. I had to take the pacifier away because her sucking on it wouldn't let her gums stop bleeding. The first night without it was hell. She cried, she begged, she dragged me to the kitchen cupboard where we kept them at 3 in the morning. The next night she only cried a little. And since then, she's been fine. I wasn't going to take it from her yet because she doesn't have that many teeth and I didn't want her to start sucking her thumb, but it's all worked out and I'm glad I did take it away. No more looking for it in the middle of the night!

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well...with my son we snipped the tip of the nipple so it looked normal but when he sucked on it it would collapse in. It took about three nights of screaming, and broke my heart, but after that he never even wanted one if some other child had one. I know it may sound mean but the crying got to be less and less each night. You will just have to find a substitute for comfort. My son had a stuffed giraffe that he would hug on and that gave him the comfort he needed. Hope this helps you out...J.

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G.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

Ok, I know my response is a little late, but I am new here and have a few good ideas. Especially if she is still using it at night, and you are wanting to break her of that soon.

#1) Tell her there is a binky fairy. PIck a certain age or day, and tell her when she reaches that point, if she leaves her binky under her pillow that night the binky fairy will come, and take her binky's and leave her something in return! (Much like the tooth fairy.) Tell the binky fairy takes the binkys and passes them on to new babies that need them. Then leave her something fun under her pillow or next to her bed! A toy she wants, a new baby doll, etc.... Oh yeah, don't forget to sprinkle some glitter around!

#2) Take her to the Build A Bear factory. Let her pick any stuffed animal she wants, and after she stuffs it, when you are at the part you put the heart in it and make a wish before they sew it up, have her put her binky inside too.

Now she has a new friend that provides her with comfort, that she can sleep with at night, but still have her "old friend" with her all the time!

Hope these suggestions help in the future!

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B.S.

answers from Reno on

I agree with the other two. You are lucky that she only wants it at night. So many studies have shown that the pacifier at night reduces the risks for sids and more and more cases are poping up with older children. I let my son use his at night. No one can see him and I don't think it really hurts anything.

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T.A.

answers from Stockton on

Hi,
My daughter was 18 months when we decided to say "good bye" to her "beesy". I waited until we went on our family vacation and our last night there I took her down to the beach and told her it was time to throw her "beesy" in the ocean for the baby fishes to have. We had discussed giving her beesy to the baby fishes for a few weeks prior and she seemed ok with it. The first 2 nights were hard, it took her about half an hour to fall asleep, but after that she stopped asking for it. When we asked her about it, she said she shared it with the baby fishes :)
My best friend also had a similar problem but it wasn't as easy for her. Finally after about 2 months of trying to get rid of it, she took a pair of sissors and cut off the nipple. When her son saw it he screamed the first time but he realized it was over and a week later he never mentioned it again.
Good Luck, I know its not easy but you'll both be happier when the pacifier is a memory!

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K.W.

answers from Sacramento on

When my son needed to give up the pacifier (he was 2 1/2), the dentist suggested cutting the nipple so that when he sucked on it it didn't stimulate the roof of his mouth anymore. So I cut the nipple and left it on his pillow as usual. When he picked it up at nap time and put it in his mouth he got a very perplexed look on his face! He took it out and looked at it and said, "That's weird! This binky is broken!" He then proceeded to throw it across the room! That was pretty much the end of it. He was a little fussy for the next few naps, but it wasn't a major issue. The best part was that I didn't have to be the bad guy. The binky was just "broken". It was the perfect solution for us!

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R.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there -

I am in the same situation as you and posted about this a couple of months ago. I have a two AND three year old who are hooked on their "pappies" and I have yet to break them of it. Like yours, mine only have it when they sleep. I never wanted to give my babies a pacifier before I had kids and I can't believe mine are still sleeping with them at such a late age. I tried the mailing it off thing, cutting the tips, having them throw them away, leaving them for the "pappy fairy" and other things but I have been unsuccessful. My dentist said that having it at night will not hurt their teeth until permanent ones are coming so I have decided not to stress on it so much. My kids are not the type to throw fits over every little thing and they are totally devastated without their pacifiers when they are going to bed (esp my son). Try the methods ppl have given you and if all else fails then try not to worry too much about it. Like another mom said, they will not take them to college (I hope) :) Good luck!

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K.V.

answers from San Francisco on

As the other moms have said, I, too, think you're on the right track by only letting her have it sleeping time. Our older oson (now 6.5 yrs) was a binky baby. He was totally off the giggy (as he called it) when he was just over 3. We thought we'd get rid of it at a year but decided he wouldn't really unerstand & would be too hard for him. Same thought at 2 yrs so waited until he was 3 & could comprehend it all. So, if she just gets it nap/sleep times she's probably OK as it's not effecting her speech. My BF is our hygentist & her brother is our dentist & both said overall, binkies are better than fingers as they don't do the damage to the mouth & teeth that fingers do. Maybe wait until she can cognitively understand not having it & wean her from it. She may still have the stuffed cat you mentioned which could be a replacement security blanket/lovey. Our second son, who is 2, is a two finger guy & we're in trouble in a few years! Good luck!

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S.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey C.~

I had a daughter just like yours, but she was even attached to it more, she used it throughout the day!
I tried alot of things, and it wasnt working, till one day i went and cut the tip of the pacifer off, so that there would be barely anything on there for her to suck on. I put it somewhere that she would of been able to find when she was lookin for it, and when she found it, she imediately grabbed it to put it in her mouth and there, was nothin there!!! She looked at it and came to me crying, i looked at her and said oh no!! I guess this means your a big girl now, and you dont need that anymore!!

She looked at it, and threw it down on the ground, and never touched another pacifer again!!

Now that nite at bed time she did start to cry for it, but i brought her the demolished pacifer and she looked at it and just rolled over to bed!

So something you could try!!

~S. N~

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W.A.

answers from Honolulu on

Am I the first to respond???

Hey C. hun..I told ya how I did it with Cianna... just phase it out slowly. Your doing great with keeping it away from her all day and night.. just giving it to her only when she goes to bed is a great start. I say keep putting her down every night without it at first and let her sit for say 5 minutes without it, then after a week stretch it to 10 minutes, and so on and so forth. Eventually she will forget about it. Make sure you keep that thing out of sight for daytime and night though. I'd say throw them all away except for two maybe and keep them only in her room and no where else in the house, cause that girl is sneaky and will find them..LOL. She prolly has some stashed around the house cause she knows your trying to get rid of them...haha. WEll, good luck!

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A.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

This worked for me with 3 kids and worked for 2 of my sister in laws. Cut the tip off or just a slit. They dont like the way it feels, then give them the next one the same way, keep one on hand just in case it doesnt work. They will think that all pacifiers are like this. It took about 2 days for me. It really works.

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

My sister in law is going through the same thing and her son is punishing her by not napping...so I told her your story. Here is what she said. "Well, you know we have had "binky" issues as well. Zachy basically gave up his nap for 5 months when we took it away but will now nap 3 or 4 times a week (Thank God!). Please tell your friend, the sooner the better. The longer she waits the harder it will be! Tell her the average time for them to learn a new pattern (or in this case forget an old one) is 3-5 nights. I would advise her to go in there every 30 minutes if she is crying, don't talk - just rub her back for a minute or 2 & walk out. I know this will be very hard but I promise she will forget about it after 5 nights max - probably closer to 3. I would also tell her to take her to a toy store and pick out a new toy for being such a big girl and giving all her binkies to the tiny babies who need them -or- she could have the binky fairy come and take all the binkies away and leave a present. Don't let her do what I did - give all the binkies to the trash man - Zachy tried to run after the garbage trucks on several occassions and went through my trash for a week - gross! Nineteen months is too early for her to give up her nap - so have her do the same thing with nap time, too. I know - it's so easy to give advice but very hard to implement it w/ little ones. Not sure what kind of Mom she is but let her know the earth will not crumble nor will her daughter need therapy at 20 if she lets her cry for a little. Hope this helps!

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A.M.

answers from San Diego on

We got rid of my sons pacifier at 20 mos. I didn't want it to get in the way of his speach or hurt his teeth, but also I couldn't find the only type of pacifier he liked anymore and his were starting to fall apart and get gross. We first moved to sleep time only and then I tried waiting 5 mins and then giving it to him and then 10 and so on. This didn't work for us. He would just sit there whining and waiting for me to bring it to him because he knew I would. So I just took it away one night. It was really rough the first 2 night. He cried for quite a while but went to sleep eventually. And later that week when he found one in my purse he pulled it out and just handed it to me! Good luck in whatever you decide to do!

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am in the same boat. My 18 month old has the same problem and I am not exactly sure what to do about it. Not that this is any advice to you, but sometimes it is good to know that you are not alone. I will keep reading your responses to hear if someone has figured this one out. Lots of luck.

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V.K.

answers from San Diego on

Try rocking, stroking and singing to her at bedtime, explaining to her and encourage her throughout the day, praising her for not using the pacifier,

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A.C.

answers from Sacramento on

When my son was 23 months, he bit through his pacifier one time. I threw it away and told him it was broken. Then I found all of his other pacifiers and cut the tips off of them. I showed them to him and he said "broken." After that, every time he asked for a "pa-pa" I told him, "Remember, it's broken," and he seemed to understand! I thought it was going to be a huge battle, but it was one of the easiest things we did.
Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I would strongly recommend letting your child decide when she's done with the pacifier. there is absolutely no medical reason why it has to be done on your timeline. If she's only using it at night already that's great. trust your child; she is clinging to that thing because she needs it to settle down at night. she won't take it with her to college (or even kindergarten) so i'd honestly say pick your battles. small children have a strong need to suck and it goes away sooner for some than for others.

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L.L.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter used hers until she was probably 2 1/2 to go to sleep. It was really difficult to give up and I was worried about her teeth. We just forgot it when we went on vacation. The first night was rough. When we got home, all binkies were gone!

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C.N.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Dear C.,

Just let her have it and she will give it up when she does not need it anymore. Been there, done that. C. N.

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L.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

I did not look at all the responses, but have her put them all in a bag and go to Toys R Us and let her pick out something special she really wants and have her pay for the item with the binkys. Build her up for it and tell her a few days before you go so she is ready to make this trade. Let the cashier know so she handles it correctly. It worked wonders for everyone I know for bottles, binkys, whatever.
Then if she asks for it at night say-remember, we bought your_________ with them. Make sure the item is something really special she has been wanting. GOOD LUCK

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M.B.

answers from Austin on

Hi C. :)

I wouldn't worry about it. As long as she's not using it during the day, then I don't think it's really all that big of an issue. It's her comfort--like her mommy is or like a favorite blankie. She'll give it up on her own. As long as it's orthodontic and only used for sleeping, it can't effect her speech or teeth growth.

Just my humble opinion hehe ;)

M.

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R.D.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with all of the Mommy responses! My daughter turned 2 in March and still loves the Binky! We only allow it in the car or crib; if it's not naptime sometimes she'll want her binky so she has to go in the crib or no binky! My o.b. had a good idea (both her kids had binks till they were 3)...take them to toys-r-us and have them pay the lady w/their binky in exchange for a toy..obviously don't take all 10 binky's to the store or you'll be broke but I thought it was a cute "rewarding" concept for a 3 year old to understand!

Good Luck and I'm right behind you with no more nuks!

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J.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Here's a great article on the subject. As a mom who had an almost-4-y.-o. on a pacifier (while going through a divorce), the article made me feel bad - because it's nine years later. But the article points out a difficult truth: the insecurity issue underlying the pacifier attachment is what has to be dealt with. Hope it helps. http://www.handinhandparenting.org/csArticles/articles/00...

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L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My son (15 now) had his pacifier for 2 1/2 years. Gave it up on his own eventually. For God's sake, let her have it in bed. When she falls asleep and it pops out of her mouth, take it out and put it on the dresser where she can reach it if she needs it...but where she has to "get up" to get it. Eventually she'll let it go. Sucking is a comfort. Let her have it. Before you know it, she'll be asking for the car keys... Enjoy every moment and relax....and if she takes up smoking...well, then you can worry.

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L.S.

answers from Salinas on

I too had that same problem. After consulting my pediatrician, she said not to worry until my daughter was 3 or 4.After about 2 years old we only let her have a pacifier at bedtime. We let her have her "binky" at night until her 4th birthday.Previous to her birthday we started telling her that she was too old for binky's and that there were a lot of babies that really needed them. We encouraged her to give a few of her binkys away as gifts to other babies she knew. Just before her 4th birthday we threw a family party for the pacifiers.We celebrated how grown up, my daughter had become, and gathered up all the pacifiers that we could find, and attached them to balloons, and sent them high into the air so that all the new babies of the world could enjoy them. We really played up this grown up aspect, and even bought her a new big girl comforter set for her bed. She was sad for a few nights afterwards, but with lots of encouragement, she quickly adjusted. Good luck!

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D.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi C.,
You mentioned that she is not sleeping very well right now. I think the quality of her sleep is very important to her health and the over-all well being in your home. If she only needs the binky at night, then why not let her have what she needs. I use soothing relaxing music at night, or a warm bath to prepare me for sleep. What's wrong with giving our little ones what they need.

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R.C.

answers from Sacramento on

My daughter was almost 3 before she would even consider giving up her Binky. I was pregnant until last November so at the age of 2 I figured it would be hard to get rid of hers when her lil baby brother had one. So I didnt worry about it, but once he was born she started carrying around as many as she could! Sometimes 3-4 at a time! Mostly it was one in her mouth and one to rub on her nose (wierd I know but it was her security tactic)
Anyway I started noticing if I picked it up and put it where she couldnt find it she didnt need it at all during the day. So I started in the morning as soon as she got out of bed taking it putting it away and only letting her have it at bedtime...well that kinda worked til brother came along. So finally one day I came up with a story, I told her that we had to send them all to grandma. At first she was like Huh? you could see it on her face, it was cute. That first night I told her the same thing Gma has them to give to other babies (my sister was getting ready to have a baby who lives close to my mom) She looks and me and says "I want to talk to her!" So we called gma and she explained...after that I would just remind her when she asked and within a week it hasnt ever been an issue again! So that was a long story with a short ending but I thought it was cute to share with everyone... :) We kinda had the same issues with bottles when we got rid of those, but it was much easier for some reason. I had her throw all her bottles away and we sang silly songs to celebrate. She liked it a lot in fact, its like you empower them. So just thought I would share!

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

well one thing the dentist told us is if it makes life that much easier just be prepared to pay for braces...but regardless she'll probably have them anyways.

This is what we did. put it in a build a bear. You know you can get their little voices recorded and a heart, etc. So we said good bye. But one night she was VERY needy and we thought we replaced it w/her bear-she tore it open from the back and got her binky (chupon)! Darn it.

Then we waited around X-mas time and sent it to Santa Claus in a box w/a picture she colored/drew and a note. The next day Santa gave her a really nice box full of stuff from the $.99 store, e.g.: stickers, pencils and coloring books, etc... And he wrote a note saying he'd take care of it for her and that she can have it back if she really needed it to just send him a note. That was the end of it. Whew!

However, every now and then (she's 4 years old) will suck on her finger, or if she see's a binky (she has two little sisters-the baby is 12 months old) she'll put it in her mouth and take it out and play with it.

lots of luck!
S

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L.K.

answers from Reno on

My daughter was the same way! Here is what we did. We went away for the weekend, and told her we forgot her binki at home. She cried for a minute or two and then realized the binki was not with us and went to sleep. In reality we had it in the car, but she did not know. By the time we got home we told her we could not find it, since she had not had it over the weekend she would be fine until we could find it. Each day she would look and look for it, but eventually she just forgot about it and the problem was solved. Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Santa Barbara on

My almost 2 year still uses her binky and I justify it because she is still teething and needs it (they are great when you put them in the freezer). Anyways, when the time come I think I might do the Supernanny approach and say the binky fairy is coming. Put all the binkys in a bag by the front door and in the middle of the night sprinkle feathers and glitter everywhere and exchange the binkys with a gift. Just an idea.

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