Advice Please! Toddler Napping Question...

Updated on January 26, 2011
J.F. asks from Tonawanda, NY
12 answers

My 13 month old twins are very sporatic nappers and i have a feeling that i should be more consistent with their napping times. Toddlers thrive on consistency, right?
I don't force naptimes on them and just accomidate when they feel sleepy. To be honest, i'll even rock my daughter to sleep often when she's obviously tired but won't nap, which i don't think is really the best idea and i think she's getting too used to it and its perpetuating her not being able to fall asleep on her own. I'd love for them to be able to fall asleep by themselves in their crib for nap like they do for bedtime. I would love to have a certain time that i put them up in their cribs every day and have them nap, is that realistic?

I know its a controversial topic, but did you do the self-soothing (or cry-it-out method, whatever you want to call it), or rock your baby to sleep for naps? did you try for a schedule or just allow them to nap whenever tired?
I feel like i've been very prepared and researched and figured out and talked to other moms about so many topics, but this is one i've kind of neglected to prepare for.

I know every child is different, but could you share at what age you set a specific naptime and how you got you child(ren) to follow a schedule with it? or did you not set a schedule at atll? Thanks so much for any advice! :)

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the advice... we are on a great napping schedule now! after lunch (which can be anywhere from 12-1) they go down for a nap and usually nap for 1-2 hours. At first our little girl fought it, but our boy took to it right away. My little girl now fusses for maybe 5 minutes and settles right into a peaceful nap just about every day. I guess different things work well for different famililes and i always love to hear how other families do things. Thanks again for all the advice - i love this site :)

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E.C.

answers from Boston on

It is very realistic to have a specific nap time everyday. My kids have a certain nap times since infants. As a baby they napped often and then it went to a morning and afternoon nap and at about 1 they went down to 1 nap a day from about 1-3 aliitle longer some days and as they are older now my 2.9 yr old goes in at 1 and my 4yr old 130 and they sleep til about 3 sometimes less sometimes more. I believe they need to be able to fall asleep themselves and would try maybe rocking for 5-10 min and then putting them in bed by themselves. Good luck trying to get a routine that works for you!

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F.W.

answers from Cumberland on

If your children can do it at night, they can certainly do it during the day. All kids have different temperaments. My 13 month old daycare child takes 2 - 90 min. naps daily and her mom keeps the same routine at home when possible. I've read and found in my experience that 9 am and 1 pm are prime nap times for infants and young toddlers. Kids' natural rhythms are to be sleepy around these times if they wake at 6-7 am. Since your kids haven't napped consistently you may want to watch their rhythms since they may be able to transition to one long nap midday. When do they seem most tired (not overtired, cranky). This is key--I found with my easy sleepers and my DD ( a not so easy sleeper) is that if you wait until they are cranky, super fussy tired it will be harder to settle them. Watch for cues your children are slowing down and put your routine in motion. That routine can be a simplified version of bedtime. Some cuddles and a story--easy as that! My best advice is : Start as you mean to go. If you want them to go down without laying them in bed with them and rocking them to sleep, then I wouldn't continue doing that as part of the routine. Are they gonna protest? Yup--they learned to sleep for naps a certain way so they will expect that. My DD used to nurse through most of her extremely short naps and then wake up soon after lying her down because as a new mom I was afraid to break her latch and wake her or cut off the milk supply:) The good news: Since you don't seem to need to rock them at night, they should adjust easier to a similar nap routine.
1) Choose a general time to do nap routine when they are showing signs of tiredness before getting wired
2) Cuddles and story or lullaby--whatever you want and you think will help them settle. You could shorten your rocking time and make sure they don't fall asleep in your arms. They are old enough now to benefit from a quick explanation. "We'll a story, then rock a little and you will go to sleep her in your crib." Repeat it every day consistently.
3) Don't freak out when they protest at first! They will protest because it is different from what they are used to. I have kids here who refused to nap at home at all that don't give me the least bit of problem going down for nap here after establishing the routine and sticking to it consistently. I'm not doing anything special--just being consistent and they don't associate me with their at home routine. When they see I mean business and I help them settle with some back rubs and story--they fall asleep quickly and soon don't even need the extras. Some lay on their sleep mats and shove away the story on days we are running behind.
4) You can do CIO if you feel comfortable with it--I don't think it is necessary. Some fussing happens some days--especially when a child is over tired from waking up early that morning or I'm running behind but I go back in lay them down and repeat the words Sleepy time at the age of your children. When they are younger , I would pick them up and rock a little and lay back down or later just rub them back and leave quietly. Repeating as necessary. Just my opinion. Consistency is more important than your exact method honestly as long as you are not being cruel or anything.

Hope this helps--You can do it!

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E.G.

answers from Daytona Beach on

My girls are 2 1/2 and 4 and I still help them to fall asleep by sitting with them and letting them cuddle with me, we are on a schedule too we nap at the same time every day unless we are not home of course. My husband read somewhere that kids that get a lot of cuddle time tend to be better in school. Not sure where he read it though. Good luck

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

A fairly regular nap schedule tends to be a good idea, yes. My daughter would never nap on her own (I know many children do, but I was not blessed with one like that). I disagree with CIO and never did that. We got creative in getting her to nap depending on her age - rocking, co-sleeping (an extra nap for us never hurt, either), a long walk in the stroller, a car trip (even if I no where I needed to go :-). Once she was asleep, she would normally sleep for about 2 hours, so she needed it, just didn't want to do it.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

For me, I would always nurse my kids first, then nap.
I would co-sleep with them. Then they fell asleep, then I got up and had a break myself.

By that age, I had a 'timing' to my kids' naps. I knew, when they got tired or would get tired, then it was nap time. It was at a regular daily consistent timing by that age.

Both my kids, at that age napped for 2 hours.

Both my kids, as I said, I co-slept with them. BUT, I would also put them in the crib as well, for naps. Or, we have a floor futon that we'd use to lay down with them.
So that is what worked for me and them.
My son is now 4 and still naps, everyday. For 2 hours, still. Otherwise he turns into an overtired fussy TROLL. My daughter who is 8, will nap if she is tired. I leave that up to her now at her age. But she is not resistant to resting or napping if she is tired. She knows herself.

So yes, by the time both my kids were 1 years old.... naps were an everyday thing (taking 2 naps a day at that age, for my kids), and a routine.
BUT, my kids would only nap if they were at home. They are not 'portable' nappers. They would not nap, if on the road/in the car/in their stroller.

Just do whatever works for you.

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E.A.

answers from Erie on

Out of my four children only one of them would lay down to sleep for his nap on his own. My other three needed me to lie down or sit with them for a few minutes in order for them to drop off to sleep. Although we co-slept with our kids, we kept to a relatively strict schedule for naps and bed time. I say "relatively" because obviously sickness and other factors sometimes intervened. All of my children took two naps a day until they were about 2yo, then it reduced to one longer afternoon nap. Their bed times were a little later in the evening b/c they tended to sleep in until 8 or 9am, since I stayed home and there was no reason to get them up any earlier. I learned to recognize their natural daily rhythms, and could identify certain behaviors that told me they were tired (my oldest used to walk in circles when he was tired lol), once I did that, I could identify what times were best for them to nap.

C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

I do not believe in a rigid structure, but I also believe in some structure - ie: putting them down for a nap when they are getting tired but before they are exhausted. Seems like you have the same approach. I have to say, though, what I did for nap/bedtimes differed with my children. But I also think it has to do with their personalities. I know that with my daughter (1st child) I rocked her or nursed her until she was a year old for naps (when I was home) and bedtime. She also was at home with my husband or sister in law all day so they both held her while she napped! So that made it harder to 'teach' her to nap or fall asleep on her own. We finally did when she was 2.5 years old and I wish I did it earlier! My son did nurse until he was 9 months old to sleep but after that, he did NOT want to be rocked to sleep! When he was tired, he wanted you to put him into his bed and leave, so that made it easier on me!!! No guilt for not rocking him when I did with my daughter.

So I'm not sure I have any good ideas because I just did what my children wanted. If my son wanted to be rocked, I would have (and probably would still) do that. But that is just me!

If you want to get them to nap or go to bed on their own, I suggest putting them down for a nap about 3-4 hours after they wake up. Give them a kiss and tell them it's night night time. Put them in their bed and leave the room and shut the door. If they cry, give it a few mins then go back in and rub their back. This becomes super hard when they are up and standing and trying to claw their way out of the crib! Not sure what to offer if/when they do that. So I guess I am recommending CIO in a way - but I do not believe in letting them CIO for long periods of time!

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M.H.

answers from Dallas on

There is an excellent book by Dr. Marc Weisbluth called Healthy Sleep Habits, happy child. It is my sleep bible. I recommend it to everyone! You don't have to read the entire book, just find your child's age and read the chapter. He gives options for how to put them down, and tells you the right time to do it. It works like magic. I think that he says that most 13 month olds need 2 naps, but by 15 months most are transitioning to one afternoon nap...if I'm remembering right. both of my kids go to sleep early, as recommended by his book...but, have been great sleepers because of it! My 17 month old sleeps from 6:45pm-8am, and takes a nap from 12:45-2:45. I know that all kids don't sleep that much, but everyone that I've told this book about now is converted :) Good luck!

R.G.

answers from Dallas on

I never did CIO, just put baby in her crib while she was still awake and she always put herself to sleep (I figure she had been doing it in utero so why un-do what was already done). And I always had a schedule. I put her down at the same time each day and night, get her up at the same time each day and morning. She's 3 and still naps like a champ, baby sister is following suit. I think the key to keeping a schedule is not only putting them down on time but getting them up on time. Otherwise your next bed time will be messed up because you let them sleep too long the previous time. Does that make sense? Good luck!

M.M.

answers from Chicago on

We've always been on a schedule, kind of. Once DS dropped to 1 nap/day, (which he did at 10mos), I made sure that the afternoon nap was never later than 2:30pm. And I never let him sleep past 4:30, so that I can keep bedtime on track.
Our morning naps have always been hit or miss. But when they need to sleep - if it's been long enough - I'll put them in their crib.
CIO is really the only thing that my kids have ever responded to, and I credit that for them being able to do it on their own, well. My DD is 5mos, and I just did this with her last week. Now, she's sleeping beautifully.

So I would try to get them on a loose schedule. You'll have days where they're tired at different hours, but I would make sure that you get at least 1 afternoon nap out of them at a certain time.
And I have to advocate for NOT rocking them to sleep. If they don't learn how to do it without you, you're going to have some headaches in another year or two when they become more of "little people".

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R.G.

answers from Albany on

my daughter is way older now, but when she was a baby, i would rock her to sleep or lay down with her, i find when they are fed and full they sleep better. My sister has a 1 year old, and she falls asleep with a certain type of music she likes. i found trying to force a child to sleep even when u know they are tired, will make them refuse to sleep even more, thats when laying down with them, helps soothe and allow them to fall asleep on their own, the more u do that, it will eventually become a routine for them.its better to keep them awake for a little longer so when its nap time, there isn't too much fuss, when they are tired and sleepy they tend to fuss more.
i never liked the cry it out method....
hope it helps.

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J.S.

answers from San Francisco on

That is interesting since you'd have to accommodate two little sleepers but yes, remaining consistent is the best for toddlers. Here are some sleeping and nap time tips you should check out and hopefully they will help to answer your questions:

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/sleep?utm_campaign=t...

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