Hi,
I am having a really difficult time with my 10 month old and his sleep, or lack thereof. He is breastfed and has always fed at night, most recently 1-2 times. I have been wanting to wean him of nightfeeding since I know that he doesn't need them and I haven't had a decent night sleep since he was born. I used the progressive waiting method with my daughter when she was a little older and it seemed to work. When she woke up in the night I would go in and rub her back for a minute or two and then leave and I would return after 3, 5, 7, 10, and then 15 minutes until she fell asleep by herself. With my son I am better able to tolerate crying so I have been trying to let him cry it out but he ends up crying to 2+ hours and I am having a hard time dealing with it so I end up going in to him which only makes him more angry and then I end up feeding him after 3-4 hours(total) of being awake. I know that I am part of the problem but he is so upset that I don't know what to do. Do I just let him cry for as long as it takes? I am looking for advise on what you have done and what worked. Any support or words of wisdom are greatly welcomed since I am totally at my wits end with exhaustion and confusion of how to help my baby boy sleep. Thanks in advance.
Thank you all for your suggestions and support. I was actually on day 2 of letting my son cry it out when I wrote that message. I ended up sticking to the cry it out method for 3 more nights and he is now sleeping 10 hrs a night. Again, I want to thank you for your responses and am so thankful for uninterrupted sleep!
When my son was that age I found it worked for me to go in and feed him when I was on my way to bed (in the 10-11 range.) He would only barely wake up to eat, then sleep 'til morning. I stopped that feeding a month or two later and it worked out. Best of luck, whatever you decide to try!
Every child is different, BUT if you have used progressive before with success, and if c-i-o is resulting in everyone being sleep-deprived, I would say to go back to progressive. It gives him the reassurance that he can do it himself. It may mean 4-5 nights of hell, but then it will be done. I would stretch the 3-5-7-10 to 5-10-15 and so on. If he's crying too long and not going back to sleep, then he's probably getting way to agitated to put himself back down. He definitely does not NEED to eat during the night if he's 10 months old, and will make up for it during the day. Remember also that you are more tired this time around because you have 2 kids to deal with - this can make any mom less patient and he may be picking up on that. Try to find something you feel you can stick with, and your consistency and confidence will help him. GOod luck!
You need to train him not to eat during the night. At this age you may need to rock him to sleep instead of feeding him in the middle of the night. You sound exactly like me. I didn't have a night's sleep until 10 and half months when I stopped breastfeeding completely. I actually gave my son a few sips of water in the middle of the night. This stopped his craving for food. Then I would rub his back or rock him to sleep, then I just switched to rubbing his back and singing to him, saying a story over and over again, moo, baa, lalala. I have it memorized. Then he would finally fall asleep. I also made sure he was well fed at night around 10 or 11 at night. I even slept in his room for a couple of nights. Because not only had I stopped BFeeding, I moved him into his own crib. Then when he was used to his room, I slept in my own room. One night I heard him in the middle of the night and ignored him and he went back to sleep on his own. He has been sleeping fine ever since I shut off the monitor and stopped listening to every little noise he made. I never let him cry for more than 20 minutes or so. I would go to him, put him back down in his bed, rub his back etc. So it will happen, it just takes some time. Mine happened at almost 11 months, which I hear is pretty normal for a lot of babies. :) Good luck!!
Try the book The No Cry Sleep Solution by E. Pantley. I'm reading it now, and though I'm not done, I already have learned a lot and think it will work. It's educational nonetheless. It has questionaires to fill out to evaluate the present sleep situation, and then one that helps you to ask yourself what you really want. You will have to give up the middle-of-the-night cuddle sessions and the feeling of being needed, but it'll be worth it. Then there's a questionaire for how it's going once you've implemented your "plan."
I personally don't think it's a good idea to let babies cry it out, because they are confused and in need and can't understand why you can't do everything for them. They're not reasoning and trying to torture you.
Good luck.
You may really enjoy the new book that came out by Dr. Sears called the "Baby Sleep Book". This book offers lots of tips and suggestions that you can try that is respectful to both baby's and mom's needs and without causing trauma with the cry-it-out method.
Please think long and hard before you try the cry-it-out method. Take the time to educate yourself before treating your baby in this manner.
I have a ten month old and I understand where you are coming from. Having a solid understanding of normal development at each stage that he is in is so helpful. My little guy is still teething a ton and wakes some nights very frequently to nurse because of his discomfort. Other nights it is just 1-2 times which is still very normal and appropriate that this age. Make sure that your expectations of your baby's night time behaviors are appropriate.
Good luck
I second the suggestion of No Cry Sleep Solution. She has a lot of good techniques in there. It seems like crying doesn't work for your son. I would not leave a baby to CIO, but even if I were so inclined, it doesn't work with everyone. Crying was very energizing for my DD so that would have been an exercise in futility. Sure, eventually every kid will collapse in exhaustion but you don't want to create that sort of sleep association in such a young age. If he is going for 2 hours I'd say you need to try something totally different. If you are having a hard time dealing with it, think about how he feels. All those stress hormones coursing through his body are not good for his developing brain.
I would definitely make sure he's getting enough to eat before bed. I'd nurse/bottle him more before bed so he has more to hold him through the night. And I know offering water instead works to get them off night feedings, for some kids. Good luck. There really is no one-size-fits-all solution to getting them to just sleep.
I used the method described in the baby whisperer book. It said to comfort baby every time, once he is settled, leave and close the door. Once he starts up again do it all over again, The first night will suck, then it will be fewer, and fewer times. My guy let me know that he wanted to be fed, when he figured out that he was no longer getting that middle of the night feeding, it wasn't worth his time to get up. I did it at about 6.5 months and the transition took a week.
Either way you go, best of luck to you, Nat
Just a thought but if the progressive method worked with your daughter why not try it with your son? As for weaning from nightime feeds, try giving him water instead.
Good luck!
Try the "No Cry Sleep Solution" - CIO is like torture for mamas and babies and rarely results in long-term success - plus it teaches your baby that sleep is something to scream about and not something restorative to look forward to. Even Dr. Ferber himself has now renounced some of his own CIO methods!
He may actually need that night feeding especially if he is being breastfed eventhough he is 10 months old. I found that when I tried the CIO w/ my youngest he ended up being miserable, needy, and whiney during the day your son will sleep through the night when his body is ready for it. They need comfort and cuddles and if that means a feeding than that's what I would do. I also suggest The Sleep Book by Dr. Sears I am a huge fan of his.
Hey there;
Without a doubt, the progressive waiting is the way to go. I whole heartedly believe that your guy needs that from you as did your first. good luck!
