My 6.5 Month Old Baby Is Having Sleep Troubles

Read "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. She won't make you cry it out by leaving the baby alone. You soothe him and help him learn how to soothe himself. She can definately help!!!!

First I'd like to point out that even advocates of the "cry it out" method wouldn't support letting a baby who was in legitimate pain/discomfort cry it out without doing all you can reasonably do to first alleviate the discomfort. That being said, it sounds like you're doing MORE than he needs you to do and that might interfere with his learning independent sleep....i.e. you said he needs to be turned over but that could be done without picking him up and especially without nursing him. If he's still eating in the middle of the night, there are ways to stop that too. The teething distress could be alleviated with a dose of medication or natural homeopathic tabs, again, without picking him up, ideally. The least amount of intervention WITHOUT neglecting the things that you CAN do for him is what you're after if you want him to continue to (or begin to) be able to rely more on himself and less on you or on eating habits. If you know he's teething, give him a dose of tylenol right before you go to sleep without waking him. If he needs help in turning over in the night, turn him over without saying much to him except night night and without spending any more time with him than it takes to turn him and settle him with patting or singing or whatever calms him OTHER than eating or being held. If you give him a chance to settle with just a little help from you and that doesn't work, give him more...if he needs to be held when he's in pain in order to settle back down enough to sleep then he needs it....just be sure to give him the time to TRY to self-soothe with just a little help first so that you're not depriving him of learning that skill that he needs to struggle a little bit to attain. Your gut is the best gauge of "right" and "wrong" when it comes to your baby so don't follow ANY "rules" of ANY theory over your own God-given insight into your baby. All this advice is based on the assumption (maybe a false assumption) that you're wanting to meet your baby's needs without encouraging negative habits like night waking to eat and/or needing outside help to sleep through the night.
Good luck with this!
L.

Hi J.,

I, too am experiencing this problem with my 5.5 month old son. He has woken up from naps, and night sleep on his tummy fussing. He has been sleeping through the night for over a month now, and has been doing great. I read alot about sleeping issues and what to do, because it is important to me. The American Academy of Pediatrics has a book out called your Baby's First Year. In the chapter from 4-7 months they do indicate that if you baby wakes in the middle of the night to not feed them, unless they have missed a feeding during the day. I think by nursing your son when he wakes you are only confusing, and perpetuating the problem. Last night my son woke for this reason, and I simply turned him back over, and put my hand on his belly, and bent over so that he couldn't see my face. He calmed right down, and went right back to sleep. He is not waking out of hunger, so I have not nursed him during the night for about 6 weeks, and will continue so. I hope this helps. Thanks,
A.

I don't know why people think they are "suppose to do the crying it out method." This doesn't work for everyone. You have to understand that your baby cries for a reason and there are different cries. If you know you have done everything possible for the child to feel comfortable (fed, burped, changed diaper, in good comfortable position, gave medicine for teething, etc.) and you KNOW they need to go to sleep and you have already rocked them some, etc. THEN and only THEN would I let them cry it out some but not for more than 10-20 minutes. Otherwise, I am sure they are not comfortable and need mommy or daddy and it actually dangerous to let them cry it out too much because most of the time, in my case, there was ALWAYS a reason for her crying - she had pooped, was stuck in crib, tummy hurt, sick, etc. So please please listen to your baby and respond to them. I recommend tylenol and/or motrin and orajel or teething pellets for teething and maybe try a swing for sleeping on occassion so that she can't roll around so much. Might even try having her sleep in a playpen for more room to roll...Mommy of a 3 yr old girl and 1 yr old boy;-)

I liked the book "no Cry Sleep Solution." My daughter did not start sleeping thru the night regularly until 2 years old. Follow your heart. Everyone has their own way and comfort level. You know your child the best. Ask your husband to help too so you don't carry all the burden at night.

Best of luck.

I think the CIO approach is not safe. I tried it initially with my first child and when I went to check on her (when she was suppose to be "soothing" herself back to sleep) her leg was caught in the crib slat. Another time I checked on her, she had spit up and the entire back of her head was covered with urp. Another time...she was soaking wet. So I stopped. Babies cry for a reason. It is their only means of communication. Unfortunately, if your son is teethng, then it may be just a period you will have to help him through. It is okay to nurse him in the middle of the night, especially if he is not feeling well. Try putting him to sleep on his tummy and see if he sleeps better. My second and third babies were much better sleepers because I put them to sleep on their tummy.

Hi!

You don't have to totally let them "cry it out" but sometimes I have found that my kids will, after 1-2 minutes, just fall back to sleep, give them a chance to do that. With my first kid, I would rush right away and never give him a chance to fall back to sleep.

Now what I do when I hear my 4 month old cry at night:
1. use the bathroom
2. take my vitamins, get a drink of water
3. do one small chore (picking up clothes from the floor :) )

THEN if he is still crying I go to get him. The neat thing is, sometimes I can just climb right back in bed because he has fallen back to sleep.

I have never been able to let a kid cry it out, especially if they are going through tough times like teething. You just have to keep it simple. If he wants to roll over, help him. If he wants to nurse, make it all business. Don't let him think it is play time. I often keep my eyes closed while I nurse at night (the rare times he wakes up) to let him know it is time for sleep.

Good luck!

Hi J. - if you need help keeping track of his sleep patterns you can try out our web software for free at http://apps.babblesoft.com and you can learn more at www.babblesoft.com. Our son was a real challenging sleeper and it's the reason we created Baby Insights, our web/mobile product. It might help you understand some of his patterns. I know that when I was sleep deprived I kept doing the same things because I was so tired I couldn't a) add 2 + 2 together and b) couldn't remember (or mis-remembered) what I had done to help him sleep in the past.

Good luck!

I cringe whenever anyone says they're "supposed to" do something with their baby. All babies are different, so the only thing you're "supposed to" do is what works for you! :-) My baby girl is just over 6 months old, and while she has mastered rolling on to her belly, she hasn't yet figured out rolling on to her back. So, like your son, he then gets frustrated and starts crying. When that happens we always go in and roll her on to her back (during the day she's on her own until she gets so worked up she's no longer trying to roll, but at night we all need our sleep). Then we leave. If she's hungry, she'll stay awake and then we go back to feed her. That's what's happened the last 2 nights, and she drained the bottle so it was clear she was hungry. Sure, we'd prefer she sleeps through the night, but that's going to happen soon enough. And we're all getting more sleep than we would if we left her to cry herself to exhaustion. Eventually she'll figure out how to get herself back over and we'll all get to sleep through the night again.

First of all, you shouldn't feel like you are supposed to do cry it out. We don't believe in that in our household. It is not for everyone, and if your mama radar is going off and telling you to go in there, you should trust that and go.

I would keep going in there to reassure him. If he is in pain, he should not be left alone.

This is just one of those things that will pass with time. I know it gets frustrating, but he hasn't been in the world for that long, he is still figuring everything out.

J. -

Who the heck is telling you to do the "crying-it-out" stuff? That is old paradigm parenting and has been proven as the worst thing to do with your babies/children - there is tons of very reliable, respectable research on this method showing that this causes issues of all sorts in kids later on. (See www.askdrsears.com for plenty of info on this and most likely cited resources) At its most basic level, this Cry-it-out method teaches babies to NOT trust you at all, when it really matters and they really need you.

Your baby is crying and fussing for a reason and it seems clear that it's the teething that is the issue. Babies want to nurse more (always), when they have problems teething. It comforts them more than just about anything and this helps them to cope. So listen to your baby and help your baby get through this hard and painful time. Babies stop needing the comfort when they feel better.

The bottom line is - do you want things easier on you and harder on the baby, or easier on the baby and harder on you - "you" know it will pass and can deal with a lack of sleep, etc.. due to your being an adult. Your baby just does not have these skills - please listen and help appropriately. Do whatever you can to help him get comfortable and feel better. He clearly cannot self-soothe yet in this area and needs your help - that is why he is trying to tell you he needs you - listen to him!

Alli

Please do not feel that you are supposed to do cry-it-out. CIO actually causes brain damage, in addition to damaging your baby's trust in you. Dr. Sears explained on the Dr. Phil show: “When a baby screams for 10, 20 minutes, or a half-hour night after night, what actually happens to the baby's brain?" asks Dr. Bob Sears. "The blood pressure goes up. The pressure gets so high, new blood with oxygen can't flow into the brain. So the brain can be deprived of oxygen, you guys. And that's not all. It gets worse. The brain can be flooded with stress hormones, and we know that stress hormones can damage sensitive developing nerve tissue. So, night after night, weeks and weeks of crying can actually harm a baby's brain. That's why we encourage you both to respond to your maternal intuition..."

Cry-it-out has become so ingrained in our society. But we are hard wired to do the oppposite. When our babies cry, hormones are released that make us want to respond to his cries. That's what we are supposed to do - respond.

As far as suggestions to help change his night waking, you may want to read "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. But the truth is, even without teething pain & rolling over, babies are designed to wake frequently throughout the night to help prevent SIDS. To help you get more sleep, you might consider co-sleeping. My son's first year I was very well rested because I barely woke to nurse him. I can share safety tips with you if you would like. Another option, if the rolling over is the primary cause of his waking, might be to have him sleep in a completely babyproofed room on a mattress on the floor (next to your bed would be ideal), where he would have room to roll around.
Good luck!
K.,
Mama to Milo (2.75)

I had to modify the cry method for my daughter. It didn't really work to just leave her there. What I have learned is that she does best if I don't pick her up when I go in. I rub her back or tummy and tell her I love her and that Mommy has to go back to bed. Then if she cries when I leave, I can let her cry a little. The first week of doing this was filled with many long nights, but now she is able to go back to sleep on her own sometimes, and with little help from me the other times. Maybe if you don't pick your child up, he will now feel the need to nurse so much.

I do let my babies cry, but not if there's something wrong. Last night my 13 month old woke up and wouldn't stop fussing so I went in. She didn't want anything to drink and she laid there fine until I walked out of the room. She started fussing again. Well, I have a big day to day and only had 3 hours of sleep so I let her cry. But if she was fussy when I went in there I would have cared for her.

At six months it's normal to start wanting to play at night. I don't go in when a little fussing starts (I wait and see if she goes back to sleep) but if it's a serious cry or I think something is wrong otherwise I do tend to the baby. I think it's our jobs as parents to help our children to feel safe and secure and letting them cry at 6 months when something is wrong is not making them feel safe at all.

S., mom to four girls

Hi J.,
You don't have to do the cry it out method. I tried it and it didn't work for us. It just didn't feel right, so I looked for alternatives. My hubby would go and tend to the baby when he woke up and we weened him from eating in the middle of the night (consult your doctor before you stop feeding him at night to make sure everything is okay). I got a book called the no cry method or something like that that helped a lot. Try to do what feels right for you and your family and block out what others say your "suppose" to do. I wish I had learned that advise sooner. Anyway every baby is different and they will all eventually sleep soundly. As for the teething. We did teething tablets during the day time, but at night he needed something more. I found an oragel night time formula that seemed to ease his midnight wakings and let him sleep. Good luck momma

J.,

I tend not to think that belly position has much to do with the crying. As a matter of fact, most babies sleep better on their tummies and most Moms are overly concerned about that because you are supposed to keep them on their backs nowadays. The fact that he is doing it on his own means that it should be fine.

If little guy is nursing...really nursing and not just using you as a pacifier, then he may actually be hungry. The waking every two hours thing makes me think that. Have you gone to cereals yet? Rice cereal is all carbs so if you have been using that, consider going to oatmeal cereal so his tummy has more to work on throughout the night. Once you have dismissed his hunger, focus on the teething pain.

Make sure you see red or swollen gums. Most teething pain subsides once the teeth break through. My kids had little fluid filled pockets under the gums that were over the teeth and bubbled up like blisters. We literally had to cauterize a needle and puncture the pocket...once we did that...no more pain. Tylenol or motrin (kids respond differently to each so use the one that works best with your guy)

Another resort if you treat the pain and the hunger, is to introduce the pacifier. I was hesitant, but after ages of sleep deprivation I realized the paci can always be taken away later. If he won't take it at first...nurse him to sleep and do the old presto/change-o. Pull out the nipple and stick in the paci. The sucking reflex should kick in. He may wake up and fuss the first few times, but just nurse him again and change it out again...eventually he will not realize the difference. Then you can put him to bed with the paci and he will be able to "soothe" himself back to sleep.

Good luck and know that we have been there!

My doctor will disagree with me - but I don't believe in the "cry it out" method.
My daughter tried this with her baby and not only was it absolutely heartbreaking for both parents and baby, but it led to the baby having a phobia about being placed in her cot which she did not have before.
Also - it didn't work.
I believe that a baby (like you stated in your case) wakes up for a reason, not to be naughty, not to be put in line - but because there is a need - either cold, hunger, too hot, etc. Eventually, it will pass. Try offering water when your baby wakes up instead of a feed.
My daughter is having some success by being very thorough about sticking to a routine during the day, bathing her baby at the same time every evening, feeding her at the same time at night and when she starts to show signs of tiredness, nursing her and putting her to sleep.
I would rather let them outgrow it than to put the baby and yourselves through the torture of letting them cry it out - a baby does not know how to be naughty - all he wants is comfort.