After School Activities for an Active / Bored 4 Year Old ?

Do the chores with you first, so you both have time to read or play together -- He can

Set the table
Empty the dishwasher
Load the dish washer
Dry the dishes
Wash the vegetable
pick out food when he grocery shops with you
plan the menus
wipe off the table
sort the recycling
take out the garbabe / recycling
fold and sort laundry
help make beds
etc.

One thing I remember a wise mom telling me was that when she read some favorite stories to her kids, she's record it on cassette several times. Then when she needed to get some things done around the house, her kids could pick up the favorite book and play the cassette of mom reading it to them.

get him involved in the kitchen while your making dinner. have him measure things or stir something that is NOT hot or something of that sort.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you really need to just spend time with him. I currently go to school full-time, and get home around 4 or 5 and I cook quick meals (or my husband cooks) and I devote the hours until both my sons go to bed at 8 to them completely. Outside, playing chase or hide and seek, tackle, coloring, games, you name it. We do not allow more than 1 hour a day of tv and we do not allow video games. My time comes when they go to bed. I don't know what time you go to bed, but there are many hours in the evening. My husband and I have a great team approach that allows me to get things done. Trust me, I love me time too, but my kids are more important. Once they are asleep, I work out, shower, do laundry, pay bills, study, shower and go to bed.

Now, my oldest is 4 which is close your son's age. We have tennis lessons 2 times a week, and he is usually involved in another sport (football, soccer, etc) which has practice once a week. This helps to wear him out too.

Good Luck!

Great advice so far!! When I need to make dinner my son's favorite thing is when I make an obstacle course in the house with pillows, toys, tupperware, whatever and then I time him to see how fast he can go through it. Each time I'll say something like = that was great time. Let's see if you can beat it! Then I'll say Wow you just beat your last record!

He loves doing it over and over. Also a fort with pillows, blankets, chairs, etc. are fun for him too.

I'm involved in the activity somewhat but at the same time making dinner.

My son also loves helping me in the kitchen, washing dishes & putting them in the dishwasher.

Hope that helps!

In addition to the answers you've already been given, I just wanted to add a few things. Some kids this age, just will not entertain themselves and you have to accept that. I had twins and one of them was so needy for my attention at all times. I felt in an impossible situation with 2 other small kids and all the usual responsibilities of a mother. Eventually I learned that if I showed that I was willing to drop absolutely everything and be all hers for 15 minutes or so, I could gradually step away and "play" with her while I was doing my stuff. She seemed a lot more satisfied that way. Sometimes I would have to juggle and give her some more 100% time here and there, but for the most part, I found I could play beside her and she would be okay with it as long as she got that time at first. You cannot tell a 4 year old, especially one who has missed you all day, that you have other things to do. They will not get it and then be patient with you so forget even trying. Once I succumbed to this fact, life was a lot more pleasant for all of us! Although it was soooooo hard sometimes, my kids are now 9,9 and 11 and I don't regret that I just gave in to their needs and messed myself up much of the time because it does end one day. It really does. And you will miss it.

Also, perhaps you can spend some time on the weekend making casserole type dinners that are easy to warm up and clean up so you don't feel you have so much to do each evening. I would try to eat as simply as possible so I could make my priority my kids. Kids seem to feel that and respond well. Can you make a deal with your hubby that he cleans up when he gets home so that after dinner you are just with your son?

I really feel for you. I sure remember those difficult times. I hope you can find a way to make this work for you and your family. It really is a precious time not to be wished away but to get as much out of as you possibly can. I wish you well and good luck!

I know that boys are so active and especially at this young age. But imagine, he has not seen you almost all day and he wants to be with you.
Yes, I think its a great idea to let him help you in the kitchen. If he says, I want to play right now, just simply state that, "Right now I am fixing dinner, we can play afterward. You have two choices, help me in the kitchen or go play with your puzzles."
If he throws a fit then you just continue doing what you need to do to get dinner done.
After dinner, LEAVE the dishes OR have him help you clean up, but don't do a real deep clean. Now is your time to spend time with him, one on one. This is such a special time that your son WANTS to be with you, soak it up.
Maybe from 7 to 7:30 play with him, hide n seek, war, pillow fight, legos whatever he wants. Then from 7:30 to 8 watch some kid friendly TV. Then 8:00 give him a bath and let him splash. 8:20 to 8:45 read and talk, cuddle and rest. 9:00 bed time.
Then..... YOU TIME. Quickly finish the dishes, poor yourself a glass of wine, read a book or do some yoga!

You and Hubby... need to take TURNS.... being with him.

He is also 4 years old, and can understand how to 'help' Mommy... AND I would get him involved in doing "chores" and helping things in the house....
he is at an age to be able to do simple 'chores' too, and realize the importance of "helping" the family, being a part of it.

And just explain to him, that there is a evening 'routine'...and Mommy has to do things... you of course have to cook dinner/clean up etc. That cannot be ignored. It is for the family.....

You and Hubby, need to take turns, being with him at this time period.

Don't feel guilty. It is home life.
And you do seem to spend time with him... and aware of his needs.
But... regular household things... cannot always wait or not be done.
So incorporate him INTO these things, have a daily 'routine' for him... and structure....

You work full time, come home and need to on a fly get dinner done, clean, bathe him, do things. You are not a bad Mom for having to do all this. BUT... you AND your Husband.... your HUSBAND... ALSO has to be pitching in.... with household chores and being with your son... too.
Not only you...

all the best,
Susan

I do think you've gotten some great suggestions. I love the idea of him helping you in the kitchen, maybe tearing lettuce for salad, or setting the table. I do think doing something with him for 15 minutes first of all is also a great idea, since you've been separated all day. As a mom of a teenager, I can tell you they won't always crave this time with you, and it is important to satisfy his need for interaction with you. As for ways to get him to entertain himself, my boys always enjoyed Legos and Duplos (and my youngest, at 10, still enjoys his Legos). We have a Duplo train set with tracks (not a motorized train) that our boys really enjoyed. The tracks can be arranged in different ways, and you could add cars to the trains, make stations, and do all sorts of fun things. Other fun things include wooden building blocks, magnetic pattern blocks, little cars that can race on tracks. When the weather is nice, a sandbox in the backyard is messy but fun.

I agree with both previous posters, let him help you in the kitchen AND give him some really good playtime just with you. I know how exhausting it is to come home and jump right into being mommy, but it seems to be what he really needs. Maybe if you can muster up just enough energy to play a good game of chase or tickle, then he'll be more willing to do an activity on his own for a while. You could set a timer, 15 minutes play time with mommy, 15 minutes play time alone. After he gets the idea that you will come back and play with him after a break, the timer won't be needed and he will learn to get involved in an activity by himself. He has probably been looking foward to your company all day as much as you have been looking foward to alone time all day. I just don't think there's an easy answer to this one, sorry.

In order to help him start enjoying playing by himself you may need to teach him "how to play". With my 2 1/2 year old, I do 15-30 minutes of time focused on him. We talk about what he did that day, we clean up his room together, then we start playing. After our play time is up I start making dinner, sometimes I let him help me when it's suitable and other times when he can't help as much I encourage him to play by himself and he is usually good about playing cars or with other toys, making them talk to each other, but sometimes I have to have him make "surprises" for mommy. He does this by either coloring me a picture, making something with play-do, or buidling something with his blocks, then when he is ready I go look at what he has created for a minute, then back to the kitchen while he works on something else. My son also loves to sing/dance sometimes I put music on that we can sing/dance to together while I make dinner.
After dinner we then have another 15-30 minute session of dedicated play time. Then if Daddy isn't available I ask him to entertain himself again while I just sit down for a minute, or start the laudry, or clean the kitchen. He usually goes down by 8:30pm and then I just kind of flop on the couch for a little bit and relax before doing anyother chores.
Sometimes when it's been a really stressful day I just ask Daddy to take him out to dinner (father/son date!) while I stay home and unwind. Just an hour or so at the house by myself is all it takes when I've had a rough day.
Hope this helps, and I've gotten some great ideas from the other answers so thanks for asking what we all feel sometimes! :)

as everyone else has said he needs some time with you. When you get home give him 15 minutes of playtime with you before you start cooking or... BUT he also needs to learn to entertain himself. My son plays by himself A LOT as well as with us or with neighbor kids. Could he play NEAR you? bring his cars or action figures to a spot in the kitchen where he wouldnt be in the way? Would he feel better playing in the next room if his favorite music was playing on a CD? He should not need to be entertained every minute. Make the rule no tv or video until he has played with you 15 minutes, for an hour while you work around the house, eaten dinner and helped you clean up. Keep pushing it off later and later. At first it will be agony! but tv and video games are only feeding into his need to be entertained every minute. It is so important for kids to learn to be creative and entertain themselves. Read the recent NY times article "Play's the Thing" and keep working on getting him to entertain himself!

I too am curious to see more suggestions. You sound just like me! I work M-F 7:15 to 4:15, but me and my 4 yr old and 2 1/2 yr old wake up at 5:30 am to leave by 6 am to commute for 45 minutes. We get home at 5:30 pm, they eat dinner at 6 pm, they are in their room watching a movie for bedtime by 7:30 pm/ 8 pm. My husband works Wed-Sat 2 pm to 12 am. So I am challenged too. The thing that works for me, is I put on their favorite elmo, sesame street, mickey mouse clubhouse show while I prepare their dinner. I TRY really hard to spend some time with them before they have to go up but I am so wiped out by work and the commute that I get selfish and just want some peace and quiet. But along with others, I've realized to just give in most of the time, sit with them, watch their show with them sing with them, play their games with them and then call it a night. Like my therapist has told me, these are the cards you've been dealt with and the lifestyle you have, though it may seem unfair at times, you gotta make it work somehow. Good luck...

Bundle him up n give him sidewalk chalk and tell him to stay on the driveway or in the yard w/ it.
Try having him help make dinner or finger paint on the table in shaving cream, or on the outside of a sliding glass door to the yard.........It just wipes off.
Plan play dates or get a sitter and stop feeling guilty about taking some "Me time".
Keep boxes in mind. They make great forts/cars/robot bodies/etc. He can color or cut 'em.
He can bundle up and hunt for lizards in the yard, too whether they're there or not. It's a good stall.
Hide stuff in the yard when he's at school and send him on a treasure hunt.
Tell him that he has to spend some time entertaining himself each day, and mark that time on a calendar so that you don't have to feel guilty about it. Do something for yourself during that time.
My son really loves to do chores w/ me, and if they're big enuf to mess up then they're big enuf to clean up, and you shouldn't be doing it for them. Make sure he's cleaning up his toys and putting his own laundry away. Don't make the same mistake that I did. Get him started on some simple chores now, that he is to do every day. You can give him an allowance for it, or you can save allowance for when he goes above and beyond the call of duty. Chore time should take up about half an hr. Then play time after could be a reward, whether it's with you or on his own.

Put on some dance music and dance with him while rehearsing his numbers letters and whatever else you want.

Let him help you prepare dinner

Play hide and seek - hide in the corners of your home and let him find you (closet, bathroom, behind doors)

Boys like active games more than stationery ones, so anything you can that requires movement.

If you don't mind small messes, try big tubs of tactile material he can dig and play in ( mix of rice and oatmeal, snow, packing peanuts). He might also like lego or duplos or even better a good set of wooden blocks. Some kids are just not artsy/crafsty. Another good game is marble maze games where they connect plastic pieces that turn into a maze for marbles.

I know it is hard but he probably does just want your attention. The timer idea sounded like it might help him understand that he has some big boy playtime and then time with you. I run a home daycare and I'm home all day with my 2 year old (albeit with 3 other children) and after they go home so can be needy and yeah she gets some video time but she knows there is a limit to that and then she needs to play something else with or without me. Especially when my husband is working night shift I just have to remember she needs alone time with me and I can cook when she sleeps. Maybe an earlier bedtime? He might just be overtired and fussy because of it.

I so remember the days when my husband went from work to school and felt like I would never see him! So good for you that you are supportive and both parents are surviving. I have to say that as I have 5 children having a child up til 9:30 pm and expecting them to wake up early to go tositters is really hard. I always found that I made reading stories an important time and then had music on to listen to until tey fell asleep but bedtime was 8 or 8:30 for the older ones and 730-8 for the others. That was the only way I ever had any me time. Please know that your little one at 4 is going to get a 2nd wind about 6 at least my 2 Grandchildren do and if you can catch it before that time with play stories and bathtime then bed you will both be happy.