Age for Dishes?

I would say that no he's not too young, just too lazy. Do they get an allowance for chores? You could try that, money might motivate him. If he doesn't do it right then he doesn't get his money. You might have to stand over him and watch. You could also have the two of them work together. She washes and he dries and puts away.

Good luck.

Hey dont worry everything will be okay. kids can be kids .. i think kids can start washing dishes when there 9 thats about right i think right back please thank you

J.

I hate to say it dear but he does not like doing "woman's work".
My grandchildren were doing dishes at age 3 and doing a great job. They are both boys by the way.
What qbout suggesting to Dad that they do the dishes together so he will understand that guys do also do dishes.
My oldest son did dishes without any problems(father of the grand sons) but my youngest never did a good job. Still doesn't.

Well, my daughter is 4 yrs old and my son is 7yrs old.My daughter washes dishes, as a matter of fact she loves to clean up period. my son on the other hand wants to help but doesn't do a very good job. My daughter is very detailed. I don't think boys are slower than girls, I think some or basically better at other things, like taking trash out, which my son does. Maybe its motherly instinct.

Hmmm, when growing up, we worked together at those ages at dishes. I do not think your son is too young to do dishes, as my 4 1/2 yr old helps with the plastic ones (I don't let him do knives or glass) right now. They are not always perfect, but I figure if a 4 year old can do it, your 8 year old can as well. One thing my dad did to us when dishes weren't done right, even after a re-do, was do another re-do, and another, and another, til we figured it out. Then he'd point out all the time we could have had doing our own thing if we'd done it right the first time. It took many tries on his part...keep trying!!!

As much as feminist and the women's movement hate to hear it, it's been proven that women "see" mess better than men. And not just because "society trains them too" - it's inherent.
So ... to your son, dipping them is cleaning them.
The only advice that I have is to keep having him re-wash and show him why (stuck on food, streaks, etc). Eventually he'll get sick of doing it twice and he'll start doing it right ... or he'll always wash dishes twice.
Best of luck.

A., I agree with Dana...My sister and myself started wahing and drying dishes when we were younger than your son. She washed and I dried...it worked out real good that way. We didn't get an allowance for it though, but I say that is a great motivator also!

Good luck..have a great day! :)

D. R.

If they really aren't clean, I'd make him rewash them until they are. Boys are sometimes slower, but in something like this, he can learn it, it just make take more time. But, I honestly think he just may need a little more incentive.

My son is also 8 yrs old. He does not want to wash the dishes either, But it is one of his chores. He started off not doing such a great job & I too made him redo them each time. I will help him with them & the first few times I stood there I made sure each dish was clean & offered him a reward (anything from tv time to game time to staying up later)& he would get them done right the first time instead of having to stand there and waste his "reward" on redoing the dishes cause he got in a hurry. I made him slow down and watch what he is doing and now he does them perfect every time.

Some people say different things work for each child. I have heard boys mature & learn faster than boys. BUT I ONLY have boys. So not sure if it is true or not.

After a while the reward thing wasnt working for him...SO I also done this...When he kept leaving them dirty I also showed him how it felt to get a dirty dish. Let a few go through that are dirty BUT set them aside. When he asks for a plate or a drink hand him the dirty glass or plate. Spoons did it for my son. He seen that it was dirty & said you'll let me eat with this? I responded with "you were going to let everyone else eat with it. It is only fair that you eat with dirty spoons too."

NOW I never have dirty dishes!!!

Hope this helps...
R. G.-Indiana

I have 3 boys 12, 11, and 10 they have been doing chores since they were about 8 or 9 to get money for their "stuff" they hadn't profected the dishes till they were about 10 or 11 my youngest hasnt quit perfected it yet! Now we have a dishwasher and they complain more about unloading that than washing the dishes themselves whats the matter with that picture good luck!

My son doesn't do a great job at washing dishes, either. He sometimes misses a spot and I make him redo it. However, he's 5 years old. I would think by age 8 a kid would know better! Even my 2 year old helps out. One or two nights a week, my son washes, my husband dries and my 2 year old helps put them away (silverware and plastic stuff).

I know when I was a kid, my sister and I were cooking meals, washing dishes and doing laundry all by ourselves by the time we were 8.

-D.

My oldest will be 9 in september and i can't imagine having him even load the dishwasher, lol, my girls age almost 7 and 5 ont he otehr hand i can have help dust and vacume and they do a wonderful job, we haven't gotten to dishes yet with them though, they even help fold clothes and put their things away, while my boys i havve a 7 year old son as well if i have him put his clothes away or even get his own clothes out i end up with a messy drawer and clothes all over the floor of the closet, i think it's jsut boys, it takes a lot longer for them to realize things like taht when it comes to domestic work, give him time and keep showing him the right way and he'll get it.

My guess is it's a boy thing. Not to sound sexist, but girls are better at paying attention to the details. Maybe try finding a different job for him, like drying and putting away or taking out the trash - something that requires less attention, just don't let him off the hook all together or your daughter will not be happy for sure. There's bound to be something he can do well that will help you out. You're smart to have them help out. My son is 5 1/2 and he is responsible for putting his dishes in the dishwasher, he's not tall enough to reach the sink, but once he is he will have to help out there too.

I don't know if age really plays a factor so much as lack of interest. I am a mom with three boys ages 10, 6, and 5, and two step-daughters (almost, as she puts it) 11, and 3. The oldest daughter loves doing the dishes and does a fairly decent job, my son on the other hand while inticed by the opportunity to make money, really could care less about doing dishes, thus running into the same problem as your son. My suggestion would be to offer your son another task with the same reward such as taking out the garbage, or some other less daunting task. Eventually you can reintroduce the dish washing, but for now you'll probably make yourself more work and end up with a frustrated son and overflowing sink. My significant other has no problem helping out around the house and doing chores, we share all tasks almost equally (occasionally I've been known to go around and "restraighten";-) So eventually they do "get it". Just keep at it, and reintroducing the dishes, with supervision, and eventually he'll "get it" too. Good luck!

the younger you teach them to help the better --- they will get used to it faster and will know they have a part in the family household.

I remember our daughter helping dust when she was 15 months old.

I remember our son helping set the table when he was 2.

They all like to help now - at least they don't complain. I have complimented them on helping so they enjoy it more.

Listen A., I don't have some great note of advice. I have seven kids and some were great at dishes, some horrible. It was a battle to get our horrible dish washers to do an adequate job. We started out making them rewash the dishes. Later we made them rewash any dish that was like one that came out dirty. Or in other words, if a plate was dirty, that child rewashed all the plates. Finally, we had them rewash ALL the dishes in the cabinets. A few times of that and they were doing a decent job. The pots and pans don't shine, but they are clean. Anyway, that's not why I'm writing. I wanted to commend you on having your children help with the dishes. So many parents think they are doing something wonderful by taking on all the responsibilities, but what is actually happening is that the children don't learn to do any of these things for themselves. You are creating self-sufficient children who will be self-sufficient adults. Thank you and Infinite Blessings!

A.,
My thinking is that he just plain does not want to do them...I would try you or your husband teaming up with him so that one dries and the other washes. You could switch halfway through. That way, your son would have to do it right and you would get extra time wqith him. You could even make it fun by putting change of different denominations in the bottom of your sink so that when he is done, he gets the reward.
Hope this helps...By the way, this is NOT developmental. I am a special education teacher, I should know. 5 year old's can wash dishes.
E.
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Hi A.~

We also did not have the luxury of a dishwasher for many many years. (When I was in the hospital having our 6th child, my parents bought us one! Although it was a trade off - our tiny 1000 sqft house had only two upper cabinets and two lower cabinets in the kitchen, and I had to give up a lower cabinet to push the washer under the counter.) I had the kids washing dishes as early as 4 yrs old. They thought it was a treat to push the chair up to the sink and have one side full of soapy water and bubbles, and rinse water on the other side. They would play until all the bubbles were gone. They would scoop up the bubbles in the cups and call it a bubble sundae, or pretend to show me 'food creations' that were plates with a stack of bubbles on them. To them, it was a variation on playdoh! Then when the water was getting cold, and the bubbles were flat, they would wash the dishes and cups, rinse them, and put them in the dish drainer. Sometimes if I only had a few items in the sink to wash, they would ask me to toss in a few clean cups and plates so they would have more to 'play with'. Anyway, as they got older, I cut down on the amount of playing, and they just washed, rinsed, and dried the dishes. My first 5 boys were 7 when I expected them to do the dinner dishes, dry them, and put them away. I paired them up so one would wash and one would dry. They had to learn that a family works together as a team, and if they expected me to shop for the meal, prepare and cook it, then they were going to set the table and clean up afterwards. My husband helps wrapping or condensing the leftovers into smaller containers and putting them away. Then he helps with the larger pots, or glass baking dishes, or he helps put away things they can't reach. I usually clean up the younger children/baby and take them to the other room for the evening.

We moved to a bigger house (9 people + their beds, dressers, closet space, rest of the furnature, and a kitchen table to seat us all doesn't fit well in 1000 sqft.) and it came with a dishwasher, but the kids, the ones that are ages 4-up, still wash dishes, pots and pans. I don't use the dishwasher all the time when we have time to do them by hand, and the valuable lesson of teamwork can be reinforced.

Among other things, my 6,9,11,13,& 15 yr old also take turns each night pealing 7 lbs of potatoes, or 2 lbs of carrots. They have to be part of helping to make the evening meal, or taking care of the two youngest while I'm making dinner.

When they act like they don't know how to do something, I just take the time to teach or re-teach them. They are not going to get away with acting like they can't do it, or not do a good job in order to get out of doing it at all. If anything, they have learned that the ones who apparently aren't good at it need the most practice to get it right, and they in turn get more work than the ones who do it well. So once they catch on to that, they all strive to do it well and do it right.

They don't get paid for doing their part in the family, any more than I get paid for washing clothes, cleaning the house, or making the meals.

I know what you're saying about boys developing motor skills later than girls, but I think yours is a case where your son doesn't want to do, and he's holding out and hoping you'll give in and take him off of dish duty. I don't think he's too young at all.

What other jobs does he do aroung the house? and does he do them well?
Like stripping the sheets off the bed for the laundry and putting the clean ones on? or tying up the kitchen trash bag, taking it out to the cans, and coming back in to put a clean bag in the kitchen garbage? or dusting, vaccuming, sweeping the floors? Folding his own laundry? Bringing in groceries and helping to put them away?
Maybe he doesn't understand that this is the beginning of a new time frame in his life where more is expected of him??? I don't know - just throwing out some thought.
Good luck and don't give up!

It might not be the case, but I have talked to my husband and he said he used to mess up the dishes on purpose, because it is not manly. If you want to accomodate the little, possibly bruised ego, there is always the taking out of the garbage, and the manlier duties. (My husband now does the dishes and laundry when they need it without a problem)... Good luck

I really think that it is great that you have your children help in the kitchen. My kids were around the same age when I introduced them to doing dishes, and the great thing was once they had to wash all the dishes they used, they made sure not to use more than 1 cup a day, it was great. My daughters are also great at washing the dishes, but my son (11) never really got the hang of it. so I decided that my girls would take turns washing, and he would dry and put away. He is also responsible for the trash in the house. It has worked out well, he just didnt have a desire to stand there and wash dishes, so we compromised. Maybe this is a system that would work for your children. I think that as long as he is contributing to the chores in some way now, he still will learn responsibility. Maybe wait another year or two, and then try it again. Good Luck!

I started drying dishes when I was 5 years old. That was always my job after dinner at my grandma's house. There are pictures of me drying dishes standing up on a footstool so I could reach the sink. By the time I was 10 (my sisters were 8 and 7) my mom didn't really do dishes, we did them. She had a schedule on the fridge of who was to wash and dry every night, so one of us had the "day off." We also helped with the sweeping dusting, and laundry. I guess that is how a single mother of 3 keeps the house clean :)

I would try to make them do them together, your daughter can wash, and your son could rinse.

Boys just don't care about getting things clean like girls do at that age.

My children started doing dishes when they were 5 yrs old. We had a stool for them to stand on. Not a whole sink full, but some. Then as they got older they were responsible for more. I always did the glasses and any breakables just so if they did break soemthing they would not get hurt. They eventually grew into more and more. I never paid them for doing what we all need to do. They ate off the plates just like I did. One of my sons was a very messy dish washer. He often had to redo the dishes because he missed a lot of stuck on food. After about a week to ten days of rewashing he got better. But he still messed up by trying to go too fast. So we had a chat about it and it was determined that he needed more practice at washing dishes. So for the following month, it was his duty to do the dishes. After that long, long month he learned very well. He did not want to be the only dish washer in the house. He was 8 yrs old as well.
He did a great job there after.

A.
I am a mother of 3 grown children and looking back my children were the same way,so ill play the devels advacate here,I seen this on Ophra,when we give them a job and they do it no mater how well they do it Give them praise let them know they did a good job,from what your saying your setting him up for failure because #1 he will never mesure up to his older sister he will feel like he has failed no mater how good a job he does,so please dont compare them boys and girls are so diffrent.girls are always and naturally do housework well,, its genetics ill bet if you sent her out to mow the yard he would do a better job.what i am getting at if he didnt wash the dishes the way you like so what there are so many more things in life more important let him know how much you apreacheate the work he did do.I can tell you looking back I so wish I had,my son was killed almost 5 years ago and I cant tell him I am sorry I scolded him for not doing the dishes right or not cleaning his room or makeing his bed right.just be happy he did what you asked,and that your blessed that you have him.
Hugs
K.
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I would say they can learn how to wash dishes now. When your child is 5 or 6 you should start teaching them to help around the house. Your son may just need more pratice. Most boys do not usually do dishes. Usually they learn how to do other things like take trash out, rake the yard, clean up the yard, or even mow the grass. The girls clean dishes and learn how to cook. The girls usually learn how to clean in the house such as sweeping,laundry etc.

I would agree with the other moms who say to have your daughter wash and your son rinse. Around my house, I try to assign an equal amount of chores to each child based on their abilities. If he is not good at washing, find something that is about the same amount of work that he IS good at. However, I do believe that all children should learn how to do all housework before they go out on their own, so maybe once a week, you and him do the dishes together and you can teach him how to do it right while you're rinsing. This also gives you some one on one time with him. Then maybe your daughter can do something with Dad at the same time.

HI, I have three boys 11, 9, 4, I have worked at what works for them as chores. i have fugired out my 11 is really good at laundry, he folds everything then we all put the cloths that belong to us up. I have a portable dishwasher and my 9 year old is really good at loading it and unloading it. And this week we have statrted teaching him how to do the dishes b hand. He did it messy the first couple times and had to redo them. Then i figured out he does alot better when i am standing there with him. I think for him it turned out to be time with mom. We have the best talks while he doing the dishes. I am blessed to have a husband that will clean and helps around the house and I want to raise my boys where they'll help their spouces one day. My 4 year old loves to put his cloths away and since seeing his brothers clean he really loves to help. I think you just have to figure out what works for your children and for you and go with it. Good Luck!!

I to have a son and have had the job of teaching him to do dishes. I would say to keep doing the dishes little guy. The idea that he would get to stop is not consistent. If it takes you or dad working with him. He wash you rinse, if it isn't clean, it with no other word than "missed a spot" and goes back in the sink. He will not like it and not like the time factor a week of doing the dishes two times and sometimes three ended my sons lack of effort. Don't tell my mom I said it "do it right or do it twice!! M. V

My daughter is 10 and washes dishes like your son. Sometimes it just seems easier to not have her do the dishes because I end up rewashing so many. She hates the dishes and my son who is 5 loves doing the dishes. So I give her other chores to do (washing and folding laundry, vacuuming, etc) But I still make her do the dishes so she realizes that sometimes we all have to do something that we don't like to do because when you get older and get a job you might have to do something you don't like. This is my experience I don't know if it will help. :)

HI A., I don't have an answer to your question and I don't want to affirm I know what your son is doing, but I know of some instances where kids (and adults)do a lousy job on something so that some else ends up doing it.

What you can do is maybe see what your kids like in terms of chores, if your daughter likes dishes (some people actualy do!), maybe she could be in charge of dishes, but your son must then be in charge of something else that its somehow equal in terms of time and effort.

That's just a thought to consider. Good luck!

My children wanted to help when they were 2 so they played in the water and rinsed the dishes. As a child I helped no later than 6 a I was drying dishes in 1st grade. I am the youngest of 4. We worked together to clear the table while this was happening someone would wash and rinse that did a good job. Then someone would start drying then as the table was finished being cleaned the rest would help dry, and put away. It worked as a family time. Dishes had to be finished before any playing was allowed. My oldest brother is 8 years older and we all did dishes. Occasionally My dad would take my mother outside to give her a break. But that was a time as the youngest and the older siblings left that my mother and I had to talk.
Of course keeping the tradition going is not easy in my house today but I still enjoy when my 16 year old helps do dishes as it is still a time of communication. And now My 2 year old grandson pulls up a chair and stands on it an rerinses the dishes from the drainer.
We did have towel fights while drying and waiting for the washer to get something in the drainer.:)
thanks for the memories
V.

I have two boys ages 13 1/2 and 11 who help with the dishes in our home. We do not have a fancy dishwasher either. My suggestion is this: make dishwashing with your son one of the times that the two of you have all alone. It is a great way to talk and get to know what is going on with them. You could wash a sink load and he rinses, then trade and he do a sink load. Keep giving him praise for every dish he does well. You could even not get a dish clean on your turn to wash and he is rinsing to see if he notices. Occasionally put on some music he and you both enjoy. Always give lots of praise for him being such a great team player in your family and you are so blessed to have him.

I don't think 8 years old is too young to wash dishes. I'm only 29 and I did my own laundry, dishes, dusting, and ran the sweeper at 5 years old. As long as he can reach the soap, faucet, and sink, he should be fine. ;-D

Since he's young, he may not understand by what means you consider dishes clean. Tell them they need to be "squeaky clean" with no little food pieces stuck to them or greasiness. I miss things even as an adult, so I expect children to be a lot less aware of those things. You'll probably have to watch and help him look for dirt while he's washing. Show him how to scrub everything well and which types of scrubbers or clothes to use, rinse, then look for leftover debris.

That's about all you can do. After they dry or when someone is putting away the dry dishes, they'll have to inspect. Then have the 8 year old see what he missed and clean them again.

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Ahhh...the dishes...
Looks as if we have a lot in common. I also have 3 children the same ages. My girls are 7 and 9, my son is 6...
My son is very uninterested in dishes...my 9 yr old has the sole respon. of the dishes, my 7 yr old the bathrooms and my son picks up toys and uses the hand and push duster. For him, it really has to be fun in order to get him motivated. This is ok w/ me and the girls. I still handle most of the larger chores but this keeps the stress level down and he is at least learning some responsibility. In a perfect world our children would be able to do all of the chores just as good as us...ah, how I wish...hope this helps...just an extra idea: we all decided the chore responsibility together...good luck!

maybe the kids could do them togather your 9 yr old could wash, and 8 yr old dry and put away??

even if he washes and you have to re-wash them, keep having him do the dishes! my husband told me once that he did a bad job washing dishes on purpose when he was a kid, so that his mom would get frustrated, and not LET him wash the dishes!

that should have been a warning that this was not the type of guy that i wanted to marry!! LOL as it seems he does similar things to me!

My son is 4 and my daughter is 2. I thought they were to young to do dishes until they spent the night with their grandma and she let them. They bug me relentlessly until I let them. My son washes them and my daughter rinses. I have to watch them because my son doesn't get them all the way clean sometimes. I also have a portable dishwasher and they love to help load it. I think maybe you should have them do them together, and if your son is washing maybe your daughter can keep an eye on him, or let your daughter wash and your son rinse. It really is a lot more fun when your doing it with someone.

I know my sister and I started washing dishes when we were 5 and 6 (we would do them together). We even have pics of us standing up on chairs doing them in our dance leotards. My son is almost 3, and he has been helping me load and unload the dishwasher for a while now. He loves to do it. I'm just hoping to keep that love alive! lol

I had two children they are 23 and 25 now, but I remember those days. I commend you for making them do chores, it is great for them (even if they don't like it). With your son, have you tried sitting him down and asking him if he would intentionally hurt you or his Dad or his sisters. When he says no then ask him if he realizes that by not washing the dishes the best he can, he is putting you all at risk of getting sick. Kids are always more careful if they understand what risks are involved.

Hello A.,

I am 41 yrs old with much older children than yours lol. Mine are 22, 19, 17 and 15, three of which are girls. I don't think its a issue of your sons age, rather than he is just disinterested in it all. My 19 yr old son who I KNOW, knows how to wash them, would rather have his left arm torn off then do dishes lol. My girls on the other hand do a fantastic job. I would say he gets them less clean in hopes that you won't make him do them.
One thing I would say to try, you have already done, by making him re-wash them. My mother made my brothers rewash alot more than what was dirty, that made them pay more attention. Although it was still a battle.
One person suggested talking with your son and and asking him if he wants the family to get sick? I sort of agree with what she said, but then again, I don't. That could backfire on you and make your son so scared of missing anything, dishes could take forever. I don't think I would want to put that fear of hurting another family memeber in his mind.
Soooo my suggestion would be to make him wash more than what was dirty, to get your point across, or give him other chores to do. But only for awhile! By not making your son do dishes eventually, I think it puts in their mind that its woman's work lol. We can't have that, can we? I wish you the best!

Good Luck
T.

My husband was washing dishes when he was 5.

I don't think age is the problem here.