Almost 4 Month Old Won't Sleep Through the Night!

Hi A.,

I am a full-time working mom of two a 1 yr old and a soon to be 6 yr old. My 1 yr old still does not sleep through the night neither did my daughter at that age. She is 4 months old she may still have that need to have you near her. I know they will always need you but at this age considering she was in you womb about 9 months she may still need to have you near. I am just starting to try and have my son sleep on a bed next to mine and soon in his toddler by the time he is 2 yrs. old. These things just take time some longer then others. Good Luck. :)

This is not a problem. My son didn't sleep through the night until 7 mos and my daughter was 9 mos. If all you have to do is replace the pacifier that is not a big deal. We use to keep a spare on the dresser so we weren't searchin in the middle of the night for it. I'd rather my kids use a binky then their fingers. Thumb suckers tend to do that for much longer then binky suckers and remember you can't take away a thumb. You can take away a binky. She may be coming up to a growth spurt and needs the extra calories. But if all you need to do is replace the binky that is not a big deal. Most babies aren't even sleeping through yet. Your lucky she is.

I agree, very normal for a baby her age to wake at night. Most babies wake until they are at least 1 y/o. And some even wake beyond that.

I have a 5 y/o and a nearly 2 y/o. Neither were ever subject to crying it out and both sleep just fine. I have a lot of nieces and nephews and some were subject to CIO. It worked on and off for them until they were out of their cribs. Once in toddler beds, they each had their turns at waking and going into their parent's rooms. So as far as I can see, CIO only buys you a year or two of self soothing and with whole lot of work and stress (for both you and baby) in between.

If you are looking to build night time habits there are some good non cry books out there. Anything by Elizabeth Pantley or Dr. Sears are excellent. The methods take time but they last much better then the quick fix methods in the cry it out books.

Hope this helps.

I agree with Stacey and Alesha. I made sure to give my son formula right before bed and he slept longer, and that was at about 5 1/2 months. Plus she's only 4 months! When she's able to get the bink herself it will help. I put one in each corner of his crib so he had a better chance of finding them himself. Don't worry A., you'll get to sleep again. Good luck :o)

"Tanking her up" before bed, as many other posters suggest, is a good idea - one more thing I would suggest is to manage your expectations. 4 months is still very young, and I know lots of 3 year olds who don't "sleep through the night" - at least, not straight through. And it's ok. Childhood is finite, and all stages pass :)

I had to get up with all of my children until they were into their third year. I don't know why. Maybe she is too warm or too cold. Since she was soo good before, i would treat this as a phase for a while longer. Then repost your question.

I think there is a growth spurt around 4 months and 6 months, so she might be needing milk at more than just one of those wake-ups. There are many doctors that don't feel that infants should be sleeping through the night until they are at least 6 months. Others say that babies are always changing their schedule, so hang in there. Others say to keep them to a schedule - babywise - while others believe that method can damage babies. Some recommend formula in a bottle, which some find to do nothing for their babies. Some recommend rice cereal in a bottle, which some doctors say is not good for babies. Good luck with whatever you do!

A.,

My dd is now 7 months and she use to give me 10-11 hours at night without waking up, and then when teething happened (6 months) she woke up at 1:00am, 3-4am, and then 5-6am, which by 6 am I got up with her if she was awake for play. If I was (and usually was) beyond sleepy I would take her to bed with me at 6am so we could catch some extra zz's (probably sleep in till no later than 8:30am). She also caught a cold in the process and was very clingy for good reason. Though now I created a problem...since I started going to her at night on and off for a few months now since teething started. Most of the time she wakes up she is not hungry at all, just wants to comfort nurse back to sleep or even play. I realized that this was hindering her learning how to soothe herself to sleep during the night. I hated CIO, believe me. But for the first time in her life I allowed her to fuss a little and cry a little for naps and she would be out within 20-30 min. for about an hour nap about 3x a day. So....as advice taken from a veteran mom of three girls (7,9,11) she said, now turn your monitor way down or off when you go to bed at night and wake up at 6am with your alarm clock and wake her each morning. If she is not awake by way of the monitor, then sleep in a little bit till she is. Last night I did this for the first time...I even woke up at different points through the night and actually never heard her crying, so that helped too. and now I think about it, I think I use to get up at every tiny bit of sound I would hear by that damn monitor and it turned me into such a light sleeper. Now, if you child is sick...I think you should not do this...listen and comfort them in their time of need. But when you know they are healthy, I suggest trying this. It may take a week to see it work so that you could turn your monitor back up at nighttime. My friends again suggested even listening if you can bear it and record how long each night it takes before your child falls asleep once they start crying. She said for her the first few nights were an hour each time of on off crying of all intensities, then the next nights were less and less as it gradually became easier for her daughter to put herslef to sleep on her own. I really do now believe that we are helping them find the sleep they need by giving them some room to find it on their own. Again every baby is different, and not every baby responds the same to CIO like mine may. I have been using CIO on and off for many months now, and I realize it does take maturity in the child to want to be able to sleep through the night as well be able to soothe oneself to sleep. My dd was truely ready now because she showed me her capabilites to sleep on her own in the past without CIO, and how she reacts differently to being put down for naps (no struggle to be away from mommy). Every mother I believe too will do what works best for them when they need to do it. My friend said she had to do this because she was pregnant with her third baby and the second one was not sleeping on her own yet at night. She needed rest for the fetus to grow healthy, and her daughter was well capable of sleeping on her own wihtout her nightly comforts. I hope my suggestions can help you get some sleep. I also suggest cutting out nursing to sleep (if you do this) as much as you can to help her find her own soothing ability. And also put her to bed for naps and nighttime awake but sleepy. And help her get as many naps in the day as possible since this makes for a more well rested baby at nighttime. Because you mommy need sleep to function too!

Man I guess I got lucky. My daughter(2 years old) and son(10 months old) both sleep from 9pm until 10 am. My daughter started sleeping 13 hours a night when she turned 6 weeks old. My son started when he was about 4 months old but he was born premature. Anyway I never had to do anything, they just love to sleep. I do try to run them around all day to exhaust them! Good luck I'm sure she's just going through a growth spurt or maybe her teeth are coming in!

For our family, we decided to stick with the pacifier and wake up with her to give it back. It hasn't killed any of us and we prefer the thirty second wake up to the drawn out find it yourself and cry it out method. She is almost two now and she still wakes up at least once a night. Take what you want from what I've shared. I guess I just wanted you to know that "getting stuck" doing something for your kid isn't that bad. I figure at some point when my children are grown and gone I will sleep again. If I'm lucky!

My girls were formula fed, so I know little to nothing about breast feeding, but I used to do a dream feed with them to make sure they didn't get up in the night. I'd put them down for the night at 7 and then barely wake them to feed them at 10. They'd not really wake up and then sleep until 7 the next morning. Only when they really didn't drink much at 10 did I cut out that dream feed and they slept from 7-7 starting at exactly 4 months old. I used pacifiers with them as well and don't recall having to get up in the night to replace them, but that was nearly 4 years ago, so my memory may be going! Good luck.

IMO, she's way too young to cry it out...I don't understand how that method has become so popular with such young babies...at 4 months old, the baby probably is hungry, especially breastfed babies need to eat more often - she is probably in a growth spurt, or beginning the teething stage...Just go with the flow and enjoy the extra snuggle time - you see just how fast they do grow!

Enjoy her - I wish mine were that little again!
J.

My daughter is 6 months and she is going through the same thing. She started sleeping through the night at 2 months, but as soon as she hit 4 months, that stopped. She has been waking throughout the night until this day. I am sure she is teething, but my daughter has had no teeth pop through. It is a long process, and I let her fuss sometimes, and I also go to her. Trust me it is very hard to know what to do. You do whatever feels right to you. We have a 1 bedroom apartment, so she is right next to me, so it is very hard to let her just cry for a while. And when it is the middle of the night, and you are sleep deprived it is very hard to stick to a plan. I have also brought her into bed with me, but sometimes she sleeps and sometimes she wants to play. Good luck, but know you are not alone. I am still waiting for things to get better in the sleep department too.

my daughter did the same thing -- then b/w 5-6 months, she was able to find her binky and it was less of an issue. when that time comes, i'd recommend scattering 3 or 4 around her crib. good luck!

Four months is tough because there is so much going on that disturbs their sleep. My son did this around 4 months too. It usually only lasted about a week, and often happened when there was some change, such as a really busy weekend, missed naps or sleeping at someone else's house over night. She could also be going through a growth spurt. I would give her an extra feeding at night for a week or so and if she continues waking up the next week too then I would try putting her to bed a little earlier- maybe 1/2 hour or an hour and see if that makes a difference. At this age they start to need more night sleep to compensate for the fact that they are staying awake longer during the day. And strangely, an overtired baby sleeps less at night that one that is well-rested. Another thing is that at 4 months babies begin to be aware of their surroundings, so they start to wake up again. You have to slowly start letting her figure out things on her own. Don't let her cry it out, she is too young, but give her some time. Don't rush in to comfort her the second she makes a peep. Sometimes babies will cry out or make other noises at the end of a sleep cycle and they are actually still half asleep. If you leave them alone for a few more minutes, they settle again, but if you go in an comfort them, they will wake up fully. Also, you may want to get rid of the pacifier now, because she may be waking up when it falls out of her mouth. Think of it as if someone took away your pillow in the middle of the night, you would wake up too. Slowly over the next few months she will start to learn to settle on her own, but it takes time. My son goes to bed at 7 pm and still wakes around 4 or 5 for a feeding, but then goes back down easily and sleeps til 7 or 7:30, so it's normal for her to still wake up at least once if not twice.

To be honest with you, I'm surprised your baby slept that long so early! I nursed my twins exclusively (no bottles or formula ever) for the first 5.5 months and never let them sleep that long at night. Their schedule was:
7pm: nurse
8:30pm: fall asleep on their own
10pm: we woke them up to nurse again
3am: set an alarm to wake me up to nurse again
7am: set an alarm to wake me up to nurse again (though they often woke up around 6:30am)
10am: "breakfast" with expressed breast milk in rice cereal (and to drink from a cup)

We didn't stop this schedule until they started eating solid foods (rice cereal) at 5.5 months and the pediatrician advised that we didn't have to nurse at 3am because of the extra food. It worked like a charm!

As for the pacifier, we tried that with my one son and QUICKLY gave up because of him freaking out when if fell out of his mouth while sleeping. One morning we took it away and never gave it back. He found his thumb pretty fast and has been content with that since.

Good luck to you!

Hi A., At 4 months old your baby is most likely teething. If she was sleeping through the night before, you were very lucky. I agree that crying it out is not good. Your baby needs to know you are there and you love her. This time will fly by. I know we would all like a full nights sleep but it is very rare for a mom. My best, Grandma Mary

My oldest daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was around 11 months because of colic but my youngest just kind of fell into her own groove somewhere around 3 months. The only thing that kept her quiet & through the night was her vibrating bassinet. If we were anywhere else & she had her portacrib or whatever, she'd wake up. Sometimes just a noise that soothes them does the trick as well. As far as letting our girls cry it out, we refused to because after a botched attempt of the Ferber method, my husband and I couldn't do that. Our oldest would get so worked up too that she'd start vomitting - one thing that I've heard to try is this dvd (sorry i don't know the name) but it has white noises - they worked (sometimes) for our oldest. Good luck!

Hi A...first let me tell you how lucky you are that your baby girl slept for 8 hours! She is probably beginning stages of teething and will wake thru the night. 4 months is way too young to let her cry it out-my son woke every2-3 hours till 10 months - i nursed him round the clock. she maybe going through a growth spurt or a change - the first year there isnt a whole lot you can do about their sleeping habits. I read all the books and tried all the tricks but guess what, our babies are going to do what they want to do! just love her and snuggle her and if she needs extra TLC at 3 am, then just love her and snuggle her....nightime wakings are a big part of motherhood! its what we signed up for! sorry i couldnt give you beter advice but all babies are different and what may work for one, may not necessarily work for another! good luck and love that little girl with all your heart! the first year FLEW by for me and my son!

Hi A.,,
i do understand because i have a six month old daughter who i started off breast-feeding.when it seemed like she wasnt getting enough what i did was gave her formula bottles at night..just the one right before bed..and added just a little rice cereal which is babies first stage..it full them up and my baby actually started to sleep throughout the night..this is only if u are willing to do breast milk and formula..i'm sure it will help..and i agree with not letting her cry it out because as moms it makes of wanna cry too..good luck,try it,you'll find your baby is full and you are getting a little more rest a night...good luck...

Sounds like she is probably just changing developmentally and biologically and is starting to wake more. She may be more aware of her surroundings or the fact that she can control her environment somewhat. My daughter's sleep habits changed all the time. We did our best to roll with the punches while maintaining some sort of routine and boundaries. The truth is, it is rare and wonderful for a 4 month old breastfed baby to sleep 8 or 9 hours at night. You may be done with that for a little while . . . my DD didn't sleep that long at a pop until about 10 months, after we did some sleep training. I would do my best not to reinforce the waking but understand that she's still pretty young for CIO. If at 6 months, she's still at it, then I would consider it. Also, if she falls asleep for the night while nursing, you could try putting her down awake and see if that helps. Sleep issues are the hardest part of parenting in the first year, I think, and I certainly don't have all the answers. GOOD LUCK!