I went to drop my daughter off at her dad and step mom's house after her gymnastics class today. When I was leaning down to give my daughter a kiss I asked the step mom (dad is at work) if my son was there so I could give him a hug and kiss. She tells me he is in the back yard and I can yell at him over the fence. She then slams the door in my face almost hitting my daughter and almost hitting me in the face with it. I go to the side of the house and start calling for my son. He comes around the corner and I talk to him for a few minutes. Their neighbor who is outside tells me that the kids are swimming alone in the pool. My son and his step sister are both 4. The neighbor also told me that had been out there for almost an hour and their step mom hadn't been out once to check on them. I am really really angry about the whole situation. I tried to talk to my ex husband about it and he said I am over reacting and then hung up on me. I don't know what to do. A good friend of mine thinks I need to report it to DHS, my parents feels this way as well. Is that going too far? I need your opinions please!! Thanks in advance!
I want to tell everyone thank you so much for the support. It makes me feel better to know that I am not over reacting and that I am doing what is best for my children. Thanks so much!!
I would be the first person to call if it where my kids. That is as soon as I hang up with the attorney. We have a pool and my kids know the rules. No parent no pool. not even sitting on the edge.
No, in my opinion you arent over-reacting at all. Its normal for a mother to worry if they found that their children are not being looked after when they are that little. I think you should give them a warning before you call DHS (if you decide to) But if they continue to do it and just say your over-reacting, then you really have no other choice..=/
In no way are you overreacting to them being left alone, I don't care if she can see them where she is in the house it just takes a short time for something to happen. If it was me I would get DHS involved. They are endangering your childrens lives let alone her own daughters life! I don't believe when it endangers your childs safety that it is going to far. Do it now before something happens that can not be fixed! I hope this helps! D.
it's better to go with your gut and protect your babies, than wish you had later, if something happens. you know it's not safe. do you really care what she thinks of you? i would, if it was me. or contact your attorney.
Shared custody/ visitations are always awkward. I was relieved when my ex moved away! LOL If you are seriously scared for the kids, I would call DHS, but if you are just hating your ex and his new person, don't bring DHS into it. The kids always get hurt. Ask me how I know.
I do not think you are over-reacting a bit! I have a 4 year old daughter and I do not let her swim in our pool alone! My son is 7 and a very good swimmer, I only let him swim in our 4 foot pool when I have all the blinds open on the back of the house, so I can see him while inside cleaning...STILL checking on him numerous times in an hour! I would let your ex know how strongly you feel about this and that it is not okay with you. Since he didn't listen the first time, maybe you could talk to a member of his family (his mother, his sister) and see if any of them would back you up. If not, let him know that you feel you have no other choice, but to contact authorities. Kids can drown in a bathtub 1/4 full for Pete's sake! Good luck...hope you can get his attention without having to resort to DHS (b/c I agree...things only get nasty and hard for the kids in that situation).
4 is waaaaaaaaaay too young to be in the pool alone - ANY POOL! That's considered negligence, especially if the neighbor is willing to come up and say something about it. My girls are 8 & 9 and I wont even leave them alone. If I were you, I wouldnt leave the kids alone with the step-mom again, at least until something is resolved. Sounds like the chicky's got a chip, but she needs to learn that you're the mom, and you have rules even when you're not around. And you can always call DHS to find out what the legal system has to say about it.
Talk to them in person, tell them about your concerns. You never know if the neighbor might just be mad because the leaves from their trees blow into their yard or something like that. Also, just because she hasn't been seen out there with them, doesn't mean she isn't checking on them/monitoring them. The neighbor may simply not have seen her or she could be keeping a close eye from the window. Doesn't mean you can't say I'm uncomfortable with him outside with no direct supervision, but don't assume that there was no supervision whatsoever.
I don't think you're over reacting at all!!!! I would be livid if someone had such blatant disregard for my son's safety! 4 years old is way too young to swim alone in a pool with no adult supervision.
I wouldn't get DHS involved right off, but I would sit down with your ex and his wife to discuss concerns rationally and explain why you feel the way you do about this.
My kids are 8 and 10 and I don't even go in to answer the phone when they are in the pool. If anything were to happen, another young child would not have the ability to help. By the time they came to get an adult it would be too late.
When children 4 and younger come to our house to swim, they wear a lifejacket unless their parent is in the pool with them. There have already been a couple of pool drownings in our town this summer. It can and DOES happen to some children every summer - I would do whatever necessary to make sure it is not yours.
