Anger Issues with 11 Year Old

Boy scouts, community service at a nursing home/animal shelter/homeless shelter/children's hospital, enroll him in karate... all things will help him learn compassion, respect and self control. Give him more responsibilities and have a structured, calm and predicatale way of dealing with his behavior. Stop explaining each thing and follow through. Don't argue back. Be sure you are setting a good example of respecting other adults around you. Reard him for good behavior, catch him doing something good. We opften out more emphasis on the wrong they do then the good. Kids pick up on that and it effects they way they act.

Also, treat him with respect as well, it can have a lasting impression. A few helpful articles here:

http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/InekeVanLint7.html

http://www.sfpcn.org/MS%20News11-09.htm

http://www.connectionparenting.com/parenting_articles/res...

Instead of trying to reason with him, which he obviously has heard a million times by now, how about trying a new approach – trust him to reason with himself. He may well find it refreshing, surprising, even shocking, but it will throw him onto his own resources and make him think through what he really wants and needs.

Find out exactly how to do this in the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. I've been following this approach for several months with my 4.5 grandboy, and am surprised and delighted by the original and highly customized solutions he comes up with for his own problems.

Some kids just need more space to find their own way. This can sound really scary from a parenting point of view, because they also need sane and respectful (to both child and parent) limits. But your son sounds like he would welcome and possibly respond beautifully to less constant guidance.

He may simply need more space to make some of his own mistakes, no matter how hard that is for you. But he may value your trust and be careful not to misuse it. I hope you'll give both of you a chance to find out if that's true.

if he is good at school and not at home perhaps you may need some new skills. A new book on parenting help, etc. He is testing you. And you need to stay firm. I don't think you need to keep telling him his actions have consequences. Just give him the consequence. When he talks back to you, just say go to your room until you can talk to me appropriately. It isn't up for discussion or negotiation. You will only get treated the way you let yourself get treated, especially if you say there is nothing wrong with your son. also you can practice breathing skills with your son. Take him to a karate class or martial arts class. or get him involved with a sport that he likes to learn discipline. Good luck!

Have you ever thought of getting him a mentor? My son was like this for a while but it was because of a very mean step father. My son was breaking inside and this was the only way he could show it. The step father is gone and now my son is 15 and happy. Maybe you could take a careful look into his life and see what his triggers are. Is he is sick about hearing about consequences then give him some. Are you a single mom? Boys this age relate better to men. Moms are still important but they want to throw a football, ride a dirt bike, or play the x box. Is he the oldest? My son like to try to bully his little brother around and this gives his a piece of self-value that he is missing. I always told my kid, "You really don't want to play the attitude game with me because I have a bigger attitude." Look on the internet in your area and see what kind of mentoring groups they have.

My guess is that there is something going on with him that you may not be aware of....maybe he's being bullied..friend problems...etc. My initial reaction when my daughter is disrespectful is to think I'm a failur as a parent...I think we all do that...but usually it's because something's bothering her.

Don't have any suggestions for you but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone ! My 10 year old is the same way. It will be interesting to see if anyone has any ideas :)