Another Toddler Bed vs Crib Question

Sorry..but JMO...I do home daycare and can not imagine 3 year olds in cribs. All of mine are potty trained by that age so crib sleeping is definately out. Almost all of my kids in my experience are in a bed of some sort (mattress on floor usually) by age 2 to 2.5 LATEST. Often this is to accomdate potty training as well.

I would advise as others said, to not go backwards and certainly to not start the habit of them sleeping in your bedroom if you can avoid that. Eventually he will sleep in a reasonable amount of time. It might not be IN the toddler bed? It might be in a "nest" of blankets on the floor. Most parents I know just end of ditching the toddler bed if it fails and putting a twin mattress on the floor.

Always completely, totally child proof the room. Almost clear it out. Anchor dressers to the wall...put them in the closet if you can and make the closet child safe (not able to be opened) for safety. Makee only a few quiet toys avaialable, and a safe nightlight (plus covers in elsewhere, etc). The room becomes like a giant crib I guess.

Then let them do what they will. If its cry..if its look at the 3 books you left out with the stuffed lovey and a few blankets, by the light of a nightlight, so be it. Eventually they will get bored and sleepy and crash somewhere in there.

I have a daycare girl who will be 2 in June. She started a screaming fest a few months ago when put to bed. Refusing the crib. After a week or 2 of that, they put a twin mattress on the floor, did the room as I described (but ehr crib was still in there....they hoped she would go back to it), and shut the door at night (she was used to the door closed..and they had a little video monitor).

She screamed everynight for as much as an hour. It slowly receded, but she slept evey night by the door with her little fingers under the door, peeking out to the other side. It was a battle of wills, nothing else.

She sleeps just fine now, on the twin mattress and is asleep in a few minutes.

Best wishes!

when I transitioned all my kids, I keep the crib and the toddler bed up, that way they have three chances to be big and stay in bed or they have to go back to the baby bed. works really well. After that, if they get out, (it takes about two -three weeks) I just take their hand and lead them back to bed, without saying anything. So they are getting no positive feedback or attention.
Eventually they will stay in bed. I also let them look at one book (with just the use of the night light) and then go to sleep.
I wouldn't start the sleeping in your bed thing, unless you want to be doing it for a few years. To break habits after three, without a whole lot of stress, you usually have to wait till they are five and can reason with them and make them a really "great deal".
Good luck!
E.

I would think it's more the age than the bed. If he's fighting sleep in the toddler bed, he's going to be fighting sleep in the crib. He'll just start climbing out of that (at almost 3 he's certainly capable of it). How about staying just outside the room or inside the door with the lights dim and reminding him gently to get back in bed every time he gets out? If you don't react and you just put him back in bed everytime he gets out, he's sure to tire of the routine... right?

Try shutting his door and if he sleeps on the floor or wherever let him. He'll learn soon that the bed is better. You could even get a lock on the outside like a chain lock or hook lock and he would be safe in his room, be sure it is safe if he's alone in the room. Tell him you will check on him and then do but don't let him come out whether you do a lock or not. I would not start the sleeping in your bed OR your room unless you want a hard habit to break to be started when it's not necessary. Be firm about staying in his room.

the worst thing to do is go backwords. dont put him bac in a crib.... put his bed in his own room and every night sit in a chair by his bed move the chair closer to the door each night, it might take an hour for him to fall asleep but once he gets use to knowing you are there it will get better even after he falls asleep every 15 minutes or so peak in just incase hes awake he will have that comfort in knowing mommy is coming back in

I am going through this now with my almost 4 year old.... we had to put his mattress back on the toddler bed version of his crib (still set up in our room) because he would crawl in bed with us at night when I put him in his bed in his room. Now When it's time for bed, he gets in his bed (in our room) and goes right to sleep, and stays there all night!! It has been wonderful (we started this on Sunday, and it's now Thursday!!)!! We even had "Mommy and Daddy" time this week!!!

I'm thinking that it's almost like my little guy has separation anxiety, and just sleeps better in our room. Hopefully we can gradually move him back to his room....

Is there any way you can let him lay on his mattress in your room on the floor?

I agree that you should not give in. I use Super Nanny techniques for everything so I just wanted to refer you to her website: http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/R.... There are videos at the bottom too. Maybe it will help. We've trained both our kids her way and my 22 month old goes to bed super easy and stays in bed until we come get her.

I see that you say he is in an loft area outside your bedroom, so unfortunately I assume there is no door to close to his "room." You may find that's part of the issue. Could you switch sleeping spaces and put him in an older sibling's room, and the sibling in the loft? Or just allow them to share a room? My husband's brothers were 9 years apart and it worked well for them to share a room. Might even give your Toddler some comfort knowing someone will be with him/watching him at night?

We transitioned our first son just fine but our second was more difficult, which was odd since he was a better sleeper and ALWAYS went to bed on his own. I disagree with the person who said they shouldn't go to sleep by themselves at that age. To me, they should and can do it way earlier too. When we transitioned our second (age 2 or a tad after) we ended up sitting in the room with him until he slept (we hadn't needed to do that prior but he was doing what yours was and I didn't know another way...). That created a ritual and habit of course which then became to where he would never sleep on his own. When I read an article that basically said that was bad for their self esteem (they can't go to sleep on their own), it just made sense to me. So I transitioned from sitting in his room to sitting outside his room (he could still see me) and now, about 2-3 weeks later he's doing well going on his own even if he doesn't see me fully. It's been much better for all of us. I do, still, have to sit in with him for his naps or they just don't happen. I sit in there and read my Kindle until he's asleep, so we're both happy but I don't do it at night anymore. He'll be 3 in April. By 3, I think they should be out of the crib for safety reasons so I wouldn't switch back, try to find something that works but just learn from me in that habits form FAST and they will be hard to break. I would NOT NOT NOT let him sleep in your bed, that would be miserable to try to switch back. Try just sitting outside his area first and be persistent, it's not easy. Good luck!

I'm a huge fan of the Super Nanny techniques!!!!!! I truly believe it is a battle of wills at 3, (in most cases). I would not go back to a crib because he will learn to climb out of it at some point and he could get hurt, when you least expect it. the younger they are the faster they learn to sleep on their own, in my opinion, all three of my boys were transitioned to toddler beds (one went straight to a big bed) around the age of two. Please do not put him in your bed or in your room, I have a nephew that is 7 that still sleeps in his parents room because they have never taught him to do otherwise. if you put a bed in your room then you are telling him that it is okay to be there, if you let him fall asleep in your room then move him it may freak him out (just an expression) if he wakes up in the middle of the night in a different place, I know I'd be freaked out :)

I do believe that a good night time routine is important, so they know what to expect, (bath, brush teeth, small chat about the day, read a book, prayers, kiss good night, tuck tuck, and out) yes it did take some training. I did let them look at a book with the night light or play with a quiet stuffy, but I didn't let them get out of the bed. I don't like shutting the door, but I know a lot of people are a fan of locking them in their room, but for me I wanted them to learn obedience/to mind there parent, as well as learn the ability to fall asleep. two lessons at one time. I also don't like locking them in their room for safety/emergency reasons, but I'm a little OCD about emergency/safety issues.

I followed the Super Nanny methods from the time my kids were 6-9 months old, and again when they transitioned to a toddler beds. and with three boys it was different each time, yes I had a kid that screamed for over an hour (2 hours a few times) and their self esteems are perfectly intact, as a matter of fact they are very independent kids. Falling asleep is a learned behavior, (yes there are exceptions but they are few) it takes time, and effort, and yes you will lose a little sleep over it, but in the long run it will be worth it!

Supper Nanny, Supper Nanny, Supper Nanny!!!

So, you don't go in his room with him and put him to sleep? You just put him in his room and say go to sleep??? No kids do that at 3, you have to go in with him and sit by him, read, pat him on the back, etc...you have to help him go to sleep, they put a gate across his doorway that he cannot move. If he wakes up he is safe and if he plays then falls back asleep he is still safe. Just make sure every bathroom door is always shut.

Our daughter went into a big bed just before she turned 2. We already had a night time routine. After we were done reading, prayers, etc. I would lay down with her for 10 minutes. Then it was kisses and I was out of there. She knew not to get out of bed. If your son keeps getting up, it is a control thing. Just put him back in bed and leave each time he gets up until he stays in bed and goes to sleep. To the person who says that no 3 year old goes to sleep by himself, yes they do. In fact, most of them do. It worked much better for us to leave when our daughter was awake than after she was asleep. If we left when she was asleep, she would sometimes wake later and wonder where we were. Persistence is the key.