At What Age Did You Feel Comfortable Dropping off Your Child for a Playdate?

Age 5 is when we started doing it with my son (oldest child). It was mostly with people we had already known for a couple of years, though he did make a couple new friends in kinder that we did drop off play dates with, too.

My daughter was only 3 when we started with her, but that's because my son's friends all have sisters the same age as my daughter, so we knew the families really, really well by then. I don't drop her for parties yet, but she goes to friends houses by herself once or twice a week (always the same few families).

School age, so K and up, though we had a few close friends in preschool where we were comfortable dropping kids off with each other. Nice for the kids AND the moms getting a little "free" time.

I can't remember. They were crawling still, though. We've never done actual "playdates." I'm one of those weird moms who believes that socializing baby from a very early age will yield a very well-adjusted child with no social anxieties or clinginess. And, since my babies are now tween/teens, I can tell you that it worked.

3, maybe younger. Why on earth would I need to be there?

Looking at the other answers I suppose it comes back to my why. We drop off small infants with sitters or daycare. We drop three year olds off at preschool. Why this need to push yourself off on some poor person that just wants someone to play with their kid so they can get housework done?

So why? Someone invites your three year old over to play. Why do you need to go with? No only do you get nothing done but now the poor host is stuck entertaining you.

Of course I would sooner put a bullet in my head than call my kids playing with their friends a playdate.

Probably around 4. Lived in a great area. We all left kids with one another. Even once preschool started, no one ever thought twice about letting their kids go play at another kids house. Actually as long as there was room in the car, the mother picked up both and took them to play. And yes they all survived unscathed.

When my daughter was young we had routine play dates at early ages with neighbors and preschool.

I never stayed unless it was planned ahead of time. Once a week we all got together at one house and had potluck lunch or breakfast but other than that... I allowed her to grow. I don't think I ever stayed at a play date or party from k forward.

We did have 1 mom who never let her boy out of her site. She was always so nervous and paranoid about everything. It was sad.

Granted I knew all the moms well and there was no need for me to be there supervising. Enjoy your mom break.

My sons both started getting dropped off for playdates when they were three (probably closer to 3 1/2). That is the age they were fully independent in the washroom, when they started nursery school, went to summer day camp and did un-parented swim lessons. They were both comfortable to go without me and they were well behaved when I wasn't watching them. I usually accompanied them the first time they went with a new family, but after that they were good to go. I personally don't understand the parented play dates and parented birthday parties.

It has been completely dependent on how well I knew or trusted the person she was with. Some mom friends had her over when she was three, but I count them among my best friends. Some neighborhood moms have asked and we've declined the "playdate" because it was a drop-off and I don't know them/don't trust them or their kids (unfortunately, with good reason).

As both my kiddos get older (the oldest just turned 6) they will have more autonomy, I'm sure. :)

With my oldest, he stayed at a friend's house to play when he was three, but the mom was one of my high school friends so we were like family. By the time he was in Kindergarten, I was fine with having him play at a friend's house but our schedule didn't allow for much of that because he was in an after-school program.

By the time my youngest was in preschool (age 4), he was arranging his own play dates. One boy in his class was not quite ready for going to other houses so he hosted a lot and sometimes he would come with him mom to our house. Three other boys though were comfortable coming over and my son was comfortable at their house, so they got themselves together after preschool almost every day. It was great - we would just figure out who was taking whom home and the host mom got a kid who wasn't up her butt looking for something to do and the non-hosts got a few more hours of productivity. It helped that these three other boys were also the youngest in their families so by the time these guys came along, we were all veterans and pretty lax about things ;-)

I dropped mine off from about 3.5 on - once they go to preschool and can easily separate from a parent and accept the authority/resource of the other adult, they're fine. Keep the visits to 2 hours to start until you see how he does.

What is it that you are afraid of? That he will miss you? But he already goes to school, right? Are you afraid that he will be with a dangerous or inattentive family? Then you need to spend more time with them to get to know them. Are you afraid some accident will happen? Is there a reason you think the other family wouldn't call 911 and then you? Are you afraid there are firearms or unsecured medications in the house? Then you have to have an honest conversation with the other mom about her rules and circumstances and values.

It depends on where I am dropping her off at. At 3 because I became friends with the mother and we used to switch off, but at other places I stayed there and still do from time to time.

You have to be comfortable, you know, your gut feeling has to be right.

It depends on the person - at my best friend's house - I've been doing drop offs since my daughter was a baby (we would take turns watching each other's kids), then toddler, then preschooler. At a good friend's house where I know the parents really well and my daughter is really comfortable with them I do drop offs at age 4/5. Again we would take turns with the playdates...so the next time they drop their kid off with me. If it were someone I do not know well and my daughter just met - I hang out and chat with the other mom. She is age 5. If you know this mom and your son is really comfortable playing with her child why not try it out? It's wonderful when you can do a drop off and go do something all by yourself!!!

depends on who it was and how well I knew them ...and how comfortable they were with an epipen.....Although I started to get "better" somewhere around 6 or 7(maybe closer to 7) but still depended....

Kindergarten ... but not at a Chuck E Cheese or similar party.

with a neighbor or a friend whom i knew well and in whose house i had spent time? no problem.
but 'playdates' weren't as common when i was a young mother. moms in the neighborhood naturally got together for coffee at someone's house, or to walk our babies, or go to the park, and we just organically fell into letting our littles go to so-and-so's house once we were comfortable.
have you been to her house? have you had all the requisite conversations, ie do you have guns, if so how are they secured, what's your tv policy and so forth. if they have pets, have you observed how they handle them, and what the pets' temperments are like?
none of this needs to or should come off like an inquisition. it's pretty straightforward info for parents to share with each other.
i'd much rather vet and approve friends and be comfortable with it than refuse to ever let my kid go somewhere without me. my boys had sleepovers with grandparents from the gitgo, and with close friends from kindergarten on. i think it's very important for kids to develop confidence and independence, which they can't do if they're attached 24/7.
khairete
S.

We've hosted kids as young as 2.5, and have let my kid stay solo at 4. Depends on the parents and on how well the kids get on.

Best,
F. B.

I think it depends on if you know the parents well and are comfortable with your child being there. I am friends with my daughters friends parents so I usually stay to visit with my friends as well. But I would also not have a problem with her being at their homes without me.

I would not be comfortable with someone I just met or didn't know.

I agree with the moms who say it depends on how you feel about the parents. I had a good friend who wanted my little one to go over for play dates, but honestly, even though she's a good friend, I knew the kids didn't play well together so I used to go for coffee and stay.

My boys were aged 4 when we dropped them. With one mom, she was terrific. I had absolutely no concerns dropping him there - she doted on them and did so many activities it was like heaven for him. My other son went to his best friend's house, and when we got there to pick him up, he wasn't even there - he was down the street at a neighbor's house. I was no ok with that, and that was the last play date there.

So it really is more about how they parent and if you're willing to let them look after your child. As well as how well your kids get along.

I have a daughter who wasn't comfortable going alone till she was 5 but then ran off happily and didn't say goodbye.

I don't think there is a perfect age. I think you will know when you are comfortable to leave, and your son runs off happily with his friend.

If there are issues (he's clingy, you're overprotective, etc.) then try small baby steps. Stay for a bit to chat (I always do just to be friendly) and keep it short. Reciprocate and see how it goes at your house. It will probably ease your concerns if you have one at your house without the parent there, to see how well the kids get along.

Last year when my son was 5 and in kindergarten I did with a few different people, people that I had gotten to know and felt comfortable with. Even at age 4 I did with a couple of different friends from a coop nursery school. Sometimes it's easier for me to have just the child come over, I can get chores around the house done while the kids play.
I would not have just dropped him off at a new friends house that I did not know, even now at age 6. I have never left him at a birthday party, most parents tend to stay and if it's a new friend at a new house I won't leave him...there's just too much going on with all the kids and too many adults that I don't know. At the last birthday party I was at the kids were all just running in and out of the house, even down by a lake with no adults really paying attention. I would especially not leave him at a party that was held in a public place, not safe.

Probably around 6 for play dates. He didn't have that many and most of the birthday parties (ridiculous number of those) we started dropping off at about 6 as well. There were a few like Build a Bear where I would leave him at age 5 but stay at the mall. The place always collected phone numbers just in case.

My son had a small, tight knit nursery/ pre k group. Knew all of the moms pretty well. We dropped our kids off with each other often.
My son is still buds with all of those boys!
Once he was in K? I'd talk with the parents--set a time for like 2 hours, take him, go in & co w back in an hour or two....

Completely depends on MY relationship with the person, not my kids age. My daughter (11) started sleeping over at her best friends house when she was 3. They are still best friends now and still sleep over, often times for 2-3 nights since it's 40 minutes for us to each drive to the halfway point since they moved.

My boys have been dropped off for playdates since around the age of 4 as well. But with friends of mine who I trusted...if I didn't trust them or didn't know them very well, I would stay.

I also only drop them off and leave if I know they parent similar to how I do. My kids don't have free reign to the neighborhood like some kids do. We keep an eye on them when they are outside. So if they are going somewhere where the parents have no issue sending them outside and down 3 blocks to the park, I'll stay.

Definitely by 5. Probably by 4+.

Depends on the kid and location. Big party at a farm? I stay. Neighbor who's known us since the two kids were 2 yrs old? Have fun, see you later. If it's a house party, I'm more likely to drop her off. If it's a new friend, I might stay for a bit, but once SD was older, we would say hi, maybe invite the kid to our house first, but kind of trust her judgement and keep it short.

My kids had neighbor kids they had play dates with at two or three years old.

They had playdates on their own in preschool with families we knew well and then went on their own with school friends' families starting in kindergarten. Important for kids to learn some independence.

Pretty much kindergarten. Depends on how well we know the family. Depends on the venue.

My first was 5 and my second 3.

My son has never had a drop off playdate and he just turned 5. My oldest had her first at 4, but with a very close friend. I think kindergarten is age appropriate.

We started doing drop off b'day parties and playdates in Kindergarten...so 5, I guess. But it really depends on the child and how comfortable you are with the other parents. Every kid is different, you do what feels right for your child.