At What Age Is It OK to Let a Child Get Himself to School?

The world being what it is, I wouldn't let my child walk across the street to school without watching him.

Hi,
I think he's way too young to be left on his own to get the bus. When my kids were little, I was a lic. home day care provider. Most of my little charges were before bus and after school care. Take up the offer(s) and pay them. You will feel better about it.
hope it helps.
L.

Personally, I don't even let my almost 14 yr old stay home alone. I am a big time worrier and would not get anything done if he were home alone. Legally in our state a child cannot babysit until they are 12 yrs old. I would check in your state to find out that age and go by that if you are not a worrier. My son is not the most responsible, this is another reason why he is not left home alone. 8 or 9 yr olds are too young to be home even a few minutes. Think of everything that could happen...

I think it would all depend on the location your at. We live in a small town that we trusted our son would be safe while riding his bike to scchool. The school also knew he was to do so and would call me at the slightest bit that he appeared late.
If I had been in your situation I would have called when it was time for him to leave. If I had the money I maybe would have gone as far to get that cell phone that tracks them for you. Only for that sole purpose. Not given him minutes or what not. Made it so he was only allowed to call #'s that were apporpriate incase of an emergency. But my hubby tells me I'm way over protective. My view is I've been given this position as his Mom to make sure he's safe to my best ability.
Best of luck.

I have a daughter who will be nine in June. Right now she goes to the before school program a couple days a week and loves it. She gets individual attention there. They play games with her and make things. They give the children breakfast too.
If my daughter had someone to walk with to school I would feel better about letting her walk. It is a short walk and there are many adults around walking their own children to school. If she goes the shortest way there is a patch of woods she has to go through before she sees others walking to school. If she goes the longer way there is a busy street for a bit.
If your child feels comfortable home alone for 20min. you could first try it before hand to be sure by going to the store or even mowing the lawn while he's inside. Does he come out and need you before 20 min.?
I wouldn't feel bad about imposing on someone else if they are the one that offered and especially if they are bringing their own child to school anyway. You could call him on the cell when it is time to walk to the neighbor's house if that is possible.
Trying to cover all the options. Do what makes everyone feel comfortable. Good Luck, CDM

Sorry. I too think it's too young. I dont worry about my kids being responsible. I worry about the level 3 sex offender and the level 2 and 1's that arent register.

Unusual behavior is what these people notice. They tag the kids that are "different."

So your kid walking to school alone, but you're there to send him off...not different.

A kid alone by himself for 20mins to half an hour...different.

I would rather impose than take a chance. But, how about offering to do something in exchange for the parents who watch your kid.

I personally don't think that generally a 3rd grader is too young to walk to school if your child seems to be able to handle it, and it is a short distance and if the traffic situation is good.
But I would be concerned that there is nobody to send him off, or to be there as a back-up if the unexpected is happening.
Have you thought about bad weather?
Are there other kids in the neighborhood walking? If he is the only one, I probably would not let him walk alone.
Maybe you can send him to a friend's house before school?

Hi due to circumstances within my family (death of husband0 my children were getting themselves to school by themselves by 3rd grade.
They rode the bus which picked them up curbside. I would go to work 1/2 hr before they got on the bus. I would then call to make sure they were on their way.
We had backup numbers for them to call if they missed the bus.
Good luck to you

Hello S....I will be curious and follow up to your question to see what other moms say out there on this one. For me, my vote is immediate in favor of taking up your friends' offer to have your son spend the 20 minutes with them...e s p e c i a l l y if your reasoning/thinking is based only on your 'fear?' 'worry?' not to 'impose' on others. I see that as 'your stuff' and I wonder if it is possibly skewing your thinking here on this matter. I'm sure your friend(s) would not offer unless they felt it completely 'doable' and that spending 20 minutes of their time with your son is not an 'opposition'...your words, not mine. Now, doesn't that sound silly when you hear it coming from me? ;) I say, 'let go' of whatever reason you may have for not accepting help from others in exchange for peace of mind knowing your boy is safe from any number of small (or huge) things that could go wrong in twenty minutes. (Do I really need to generate a list here?) I promise you I raised three e x t r e m e l y independent women of which I am currently reaping the benefits of today...and I believe 'almost nine' is too young for him to be alone, period...especially if they think and SAY so! ;) Be Peace, N.

Well your other responses are interesting and certainly varied! I think that if you have a solid safety conversation with him, and YOU trust YOUR son (no one else knows his maturity level better than you and your husband), then it would probably be okay.

An alternative, rather than "imposing for the whole year" might be to take it a month at a time. Maybe leave him with someone for the first month and ask them to have as little interaction with him as possible - let him prove to you (through them) that he doesn't NEED anyone, while still HAVING someone if he the need does arise.

Or put him in morning care until he's 9, then ask a neighbor/friend to watch him for a month, then leave him alone...he will mature between now and then, too.

Best of luck whatever you choose! :)
K.

There are obviously so many variables to consider. I think you've received arguments from both sides, but no one knows your son or the route he has to take to get to school - just you. Could he be abducted? If you think not, someone mentioned a cell phone - which I think is an excellent idea. My children have them, even though they take the bus. Verizon wireless offers plans where you can add a family members phone for $10/month - and the children's phones can have a Chaperone service (another $10/month) whereby you can track where they are - and get a message when they arrive to a certain locatin. However, keep in mind these are not pinpoint accurate - and claim to only be good within 1/4 mile. My kids phones would send me a message when they arrived at summer camp on the bus - it was reassuring. However, I want you to know that even though these phones can restrict that you only get and/or make calls to people in your address book - ANYONE can leave you a message unless you call Verizon and request that be turned off completely - so then they get no messages. My daughters phone one day got 7 messages - I listened to them - most with bad language - and they seemed to be bill collectors calling a wrong number. When I called Verizon, they said likely someone had forwarded their home number to my daughters cell phone to get rid of the bill collectors. They said the only way to stop bad messages was to turn it off completely. So just keep that in mind. Good luck with your decision.

After reading some of the responses about the law, I checked various sources online. From what I found, it doesn't look like MA has a law about when a child may be home alone, though there are guidelines about assessing the maturity level of the child, the time involved, etc. The sites do say to check with state and local authorities, though, to see if there are any more specific laws in your area.
http://www.hhs.gov/faq/families/46.html

I don't know what the "right" age is, but my daughter is around the same age and I wouldn't leave her alone let alone have her get herself to school (leave the house). We only live 1 mile from her school, but if I were in your situation I'd take your friends up on their offer. You should also check your local laws and regulations. There may be none but you really don't want to risk it. That said, I've seen the advice that no child should be left alone until 14 and I think that's probably a good benchmark age, but for some kids that's still too early.

My son was about the same age when he started to stay home in the mornings by himself for about a half hour before the bus came. I always called him to tell him it was time to make sure the lights were off and his backpack was on and then I would call him again when it was time to go out the door. We do have some good neighbors that also kept and eye out for us. Although they never did have to step in. I think it made my son feel trusted and grown up. So I guess as long as you have a back up plan in case something went wrong and your son is mature enough and is okay with the idea of staying home alone I would say he's old enough. Good Luck.

check the laws for your state - there is often an age under which you may not legally leave a child alone. Personally, I'd take the other parents up on their offer and find a way to reciprocate (take their child one evening so parent can grocery shop?)

I wouldn't do it. Heck, I wasn't even left without adult supervision until I was 10, but I had an older brother. Granted he is only two years older than me, but I think 9 is too young. My daughter will be 10 on Wednesday and I don't trust her to walk to school by herself. Well, it's not so much that I don't trust her, but that I don't trust other people. It's a scary world out there. If people are offering to watch him for you then it's not an imposition since they offered. So I would take them up on that offer. Maybe you can offer them a little money to do it if you feel guilty about it. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving him alone and allowing him to walk to the bus stop on his own.

I think that 3rd grade is too young. Maybe let him know that it's a goal for 4th or 5th grade and let him show you how well he handles other big responsibilities and getting himself on schedule and ready to be out the door on time.
I guess it mostly depends on the child and your neighborhood, but I think even a mature 8 year old is a little too young. Maybe 10?
E.:-)

I personally believe that you leave too much to chance allowing a child to get themselves off to school.
I don't believe that children should be left alone before school- it sends the message that you are not there for them. No matter how mature and responsible they are, it opens the door for trouble.
Too many things can go wrong that no 9 year old is capable of handling on their own.
If something went wrong, would you be able to live with your decision???
-S.

Honestly I don't really think there is ever an okay age with all the crazy people out there today especially if your child will be walking to school. The state says a child can't be left alone under the age of 12 with that said the answer is he is definately too young. If he really doesn't like the idea of being in morning care at the school maybe you could find one of his friends that he could stay w/ for the 20 minutes or one of your neighbors before sending him for the morning care but be happy your school offers the morning care I know plenty of people that have to put their kids in daycare for 20-30 minutes in the morning because the schools aren't open.

Still too young. My daughter is in grade 6 and I still worry about her walking to school, especially if she is alone. Your son may feel he is ready but he is making a decision with a 9 year old mind. You are the parent and adult and have the maturity to make better life decisions.
If something ever did happen, you would have to live with that wrong choice forever. The world has changed far too much and there are far, far too many missing children already. Please consider the worst that could happen to base your decision. It will probably never, ever happen to your family, but at least you can say you were aware and prepared. And your son will grow up safe and well. He might not like your decidion, but most kids don't if it's not what they want. He will get over it. Just tell him it's because you love him so much.

Hi S.,

Just an fyi on MA law...children under 14 are not to be left alone.
I saw someone say check with a classmates parents if you can drop him
off in the morning and maybe they can ride/walk together. I think that is a great idea! Good luck!

I also think he's probably a little too young, not for the walk to school, but for the getting himself out the door. I think you might be able to find someone who just needs a little bit of help on the other end; would you be willing to watch someone else's kid from 3.30-4, for example, in exchange for them watching your son for the 20 minutes in the AM? Then it's not an imposition, it's a win-win for everyone. Good luck. Someone once told me that parenting is 90% logistics - no lie, it is!

Really? The law is 14 to be left alone? We have babysitters who are younger than 14. They offer the babysitting course at like age 11 or 12, so that really surprises me.

My biggest concern wouldn't be for getting himself out the door but the walk alone just because of child predators. We just had an incident in our town where an 11 year old girl was approached and asked to get in the car. She was with a friend and ran. And that was just walking from the busstop.

For me honestly I wouldn't let my kids be alone at 9. This day in age unfortunatly for our kids you just can't do it anymore. They need to be watched at all times I think till they are 16. Even then watch em like a hawlk. I don't doubt your son is certainly resposible enough. But it's not him you don't trust. I would take advantage of the offers from people. And if you feel you are imposing then once in a while give them a $10 gift card to there fav. place. Or a small pot plant. And even your son could give it to them as a thank you. Trust me they will be super happy to help. It's just not a very safe world we live in today. ANd you can never get your moment back. Good luck!

I think this is just too young. In some states it is illegal to leave a child under 12 without supervision in your home. Anything could happen. Children are unpredictable. I would definitely have him in morning care at school or with supervision in the morning.

Hi S.,

I think 9 would be OK to leave him alone for 20 minutes. My daughter started walking to and from school in 5th grade (10 years old) with a group of friends (safety in numbers!) and I started leaving her alone for an hour here in there during that day at that time. Just think back to when you were younger, I'm sure there were times that your parents had to leave you on your own for short periods of time. I know mine did around that same age. It's never easy but it could be a great lesson in responsibility.

S.,

I know you get to wait another year to solve this problem, but he will still be to young next year and the year after that and so on. My friend does not take her lunch hour at work so that she may be home to send her children off to school. You have to do what you have to do to make sure your children are always safe. Early daycare, a neighbor, or make arraignments with your work, maybe skip your breaks or like I said take your lunch hour at that time in the morning. But never leave them alone.

I know you currently have a solution, but here's for the future, and for other moms who have a similar situation.
I actually did some research, here is the site I looked at: http://www.lawlib.state.ma.us/faqchildabuse.html
It states that there is no age limit to leaving your kids alone, but it's also telling you to not be stupid about it either. Not saying YOU are, just some parents out there lack basic brain functions (ie. recent news events, very sad).
There's also a link in there from the state of Illinois that specifically covers getting your child ready to take care of themselves before and after school. I didn't read it personally, but I thought that it might help.

I didn't read all the replies, but I wanted to throw out this idea. He leaves when you leave, you drive him to school, and he can just wait outside of school for 10 minutes (sit on the school steps), and be early in the room 10 minutes (= that 20 minutes). Don't leave him at home to lock up himself and all. Can you imagine some nut passing and seeing this and then coming back and seeing your son do this day after day and then something happening? You'd never forgive yourself. Oh, and on rainy days, you can call those people who offered to watch him and take them up on their offer. Also, RIGHT NOW, tell him that you will not even THINK of him staying by himself until 6th grade/middle school. This way he won't be BUGGING you every year until then. (although he probably still will anyway in 4th and 5th grade.) Good luck.