I really never helped with her homework unless she asked or it was assigned for a parent to work with the child.
Spelling words, Reading aloud to a parent etc. We were all over it.
I think it depends on the child. Some really need someone to be close by to assist and others just know what to do and do it. If she was having trouble with a subject, in elementary school we spoke with the teacher or the teacher spoke with us.
In middle school I would email a teacher and let them know our daughter was struggling, but she was going to speak with the teacher about it.
By high school, she knew it was her responsibility to ask the teacher or ask us for assistance.
In 4th grade they started typing their reports on the computer and so there were times, I helped with the teachers permission. ( I would type half a page, she the other half on a 3 page report). Meaning we were not to assist if the child had put off their work till the last minute.
We never asked if she had homework, because we all knew she always had homework if she did not finish it at school.
Natural consequences worked great. "Oh you have a report due tomorrow and it was assigned a week ago? Hmm, not my problem.. you better get on it.. "
"No I cannot take you to the hobby store at 6:00pm on a Sunday night.. Make due with what we have here at home. Maybe next time you will not wait till the last minute."
"You forgot your book at school? Hmm, how are you going to get your work done?"
I also never asked teachers to forgive our daughter for being late with her work. I encouraged them to give her her real grade.
Once our daughter got into pre algebra in middle school, I had to get her a tutor. I was terrible in algebra and the class went pretty fast.
By the time she was in 5th grade.. she had it all under control.. Again through high school, if she really needed help, she asked and we gladly assisted. She was completely prepared for college.
But again I think it depends on the child and what they can handle or need. You can guide them to find solutions, to find ways of staying on tasks.. Our daughter liked to come home. Have a snack, watch some TV or get on the computer and then do her homework. This will not work for every child.