Hello, I am hoping someone might have some advice that we have not already thought of! My now 3 month old daughter has been a super fussy baby from about week 3. She never had hours of screaming, just on and off all day long. Never a good sleeper or napper (maybe a 4 hour chunk once in a blue moon). I have been dealing with overactive letdown and was seeing a lactation consultant for that. We also had our daughter diagnosed with reflux, though she was always very healthy and gaining extremely well. The doctor prescribed her with Zantac an it worked well at first, but now seems to just take the edge off. We also started seeing a osteologist for craniosacral therapy. Everything works up to a degree. The past few weeks things have gone backwards. She won't sleep or nap unless held or smushed up againt me in bed. We believe she might be teething as well (drooling, sucking on hands, chewing on everything, swollen gums and little slits on the bottom). I am at my wits end because for the last few weeks she will also not let anyone but me console her or rock her to sleep. I literally spend 5 or more hours a day rocking her down. I don't know what to do anymore, and I just want to know if this is just teething or something more. Any advice is appreciated, though we will not let her cry it out until she is much, much older if ever. Thanks in advance.
Thanks so much everyone! We had a vaccine visit today so we were able to talk to the nurse (and I had done a little more research). Pretty sure teething is just making everything amplified. I had no idea it made reflux worse, as well as more spit up from all the drool, loose bowel movements and trouble sleeping. I think we have a needy baby on our hands who is just sensitive. She is coming out the other side of being "colicky" and teething is just making it seem worse. She is SUCH a smiley talkative baby so I don't think she has any developmental problems. I just want her pains to go away so she can be this baby all the time instead of half the time. And though my body hurts from rocking her, I know it's what she needs. It's good for both of us. I cannot tell you how much your input means. To answer a few questions a few people had:
-I definitely have enough milk, too much, I have started drinking peppermint tea as per instructions from my lact. consultant
-we swaddle her, we are trying to break the habit because it doesn't seem to provide much comfort, just stops flailing arms, but I think we will continue until this rough patch ends.
-I cut dairy and didn't see much improvement so I have some here and there (like a smidge of cheese or tzazki). I am cutting it completely now. And yes I know about the hidden stuff and how long it takes to leave your body (sucks though!)
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
sounds like teething mine did this too and I can gladly tell you it will pass. put vanilla on her gums. get teething tablets. buy you a back pack for babies that you can wear in the front. it may be colic too.
My son was exactly like that. i nursed for four months, & then I couldn't take it any more. he nursed like every hour to hour & a half!! /he had reflux too. teething makes reflux worse btw. anyway, I finally needed sleep & lots of it. I got him on the bottle with breast milk & tried thickening it up with cereal. That helpped some. Then i gave up the breast for formula due to heavy pushing on all sides & my son finally became a quite, peaceful sleeper of 6 hours!! when we switched to nestle's soy formula. he became a different child from the first bottle. He became good natured & happy and very easy going & we had no more night wakings or fussy periods during the day. I don't know exactly what the problem was, i just know we found a solution that worked for us all. best of luck to you, I'm not advocating formula over breast, but i'm advocating you do what works for you & your baby. My Dr. was completely against it & after the change, he even admitted it was for the best. So let your mommy gut lead the way....
Big deep breaths mom! I know how hard it is to have a high needs baby. I do think there are some things you can do that will help:
-Get a sling! Like a Mayawrap or a mei tai. Life-saver for me with my preemie son
-Make sure you have one of these in her crib:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=240184...
again-life-saver as my son had reflux too
-Check out what Dr. Sears has to say about high needs babies. That will give you invaluable tips and tricks
-Check out "4th Trimester" While your daughter is on the tail end I would bet she could benefit from the 5 S es. Swaddling while sleeping, shhhhhing,etc
-The Baby Whisperer also has great advice on teaching baby to sleep and routines. It's called EASY-baby Eats, has some sort of Activity-at her age it could be burping or reading to her, gets ready for Sleep and You get time to Yourself.
-She also needs to be going down for naps 2-3 hours after waking. Try using one of the swaddle blankets with velcro as she is older.
-My kids also found comfort in having the noise from a clean air machine in their room. The drone is comforting to them.
-You really can't expect more than a 4 hour chunk of sleep right now at her age. Most babies don't sleep longer than that at her age. Some do, most don't. But if you can get the napping on track the rest of her sleep will start to fall into place but it takes time and a breastfed baby doesn't always sleep for the same kind of stretches a formula fed baby does.
Think about it-she is probably in pain due to the reflux and being next to and with you gives her enormous comfort right now.
Those were some things that saved me with my preemie who had very high needs in the beginning.
Google "wonder week."
Relax. Baby fussiness and anxiety is directly related to mommy anxiety.
Have you tried eliminating dairy from your diet. My 6 month old was very much like you described and when we eliminated dairy it was a complete turn around.
Maybe gas problems as well.
Babies who have gas problems... scream... and are fussy. Try Mylicon infant gas drops.... that helped my daughter as a baby, a lot.
Or ear infection.
Also, she may just be sensory sensitive. My Daughter was that way... any noise or temperature or texture... tweaked her. She was also very aware of 'vibes' in the home and if anyone was upset, it tweaked her.
We couldn't even flush a toilet when she was napping/sleeping, or it would wake her up.... screaming.
We also swaddled her, as a baby... because that helped her. She needed to be snuggled to sleep. But I typically co-slept with her.
Try also teething tabs... Hyland's.
It is actually many things that are going on at the same time.... which is typical....
How is she nursing? Since you have an over-active let down??? Does she nurse on demand? Is your let down strong... AND you are producing enough milk.. .or is it just a strong let-down... then not much coming out??? Make sure, that she IS indeed, getting enough intake, ON-demand.... 24/7.
At 3 months old, this is also a Growth-Spurt period... and a baby will need more intake, get hungrier, get hungrier more frequently and need to nurse on-demand... day and night. Or, they simply will be major hungry... if not getting enough intake.
Does she maybe need to sleep propped up? Since she has reflux? That is usually best.
Also at 3 months old... developmentally... they go through hitting milestones and/or changing a lot in motor-skills, cognitively, and in awareness... they also may still have their "startle reflex"... which is an INVOLUNTARY reflex they cannot control... and this in itself, wakes them and/or scares them awake.
Next, is she napping??? At this age for the 1st year, they typically nap a lot... 3 times a day or so. If a baby is OVER-tired... it actually backfires.... and they actually when over-tired, sleep/nap worse, cannot fall asleep, wake more, and have a worse time sleeping. Then, when over-tired.. they get SUPER 'Over-stimulated" very easily... and this exacerbates the problem and they can't sleep, even if tired.
Also, when a baby is over-stimulated or over-tired... a baby's way of shutting-out and 'stopping' over-stimulation.... is by screaming/crying/fussying... because they cannot 'talk' and tell you they are over-tired or over-stimulated. So you need to go by your baby's cues...
And yes, as the other responder said below... what you are eating, may be causing discomfort in her... since you are breastfeeding.
And then, just as a side-note: my friend had a baby like yours. She took her baby to the Doctor... the Doctor looked over her baby real well.... with a magnifying glass. It was found.. that wrapped TIGHTLY around her baby's toe.... was a thin blond hair... and it was wrapped so tightly around her baby's toe... that is was causing pain of course. The Doctor, had a hard time removing it... but once he did... her baby, was like a new baby. Happy. No longer fussy.
all the best,
Susan
First off, I am so sorry for you and your baby.
* My baby started drooling b/c of teething at that age. Dr. said it wasn't but it ended up being teething. Gave him infant Orojel at first and Infant Tylenol when the pain was more intense. That helped. He didn't like the sucking, water filled toys to help w/teething.
* If you are breastfeeding, can you try supplementing with formula (you can talk to your dr but this helped my baby get more food and stay full enough to sleep.
* Can you take your baby for a walk in a stroller to help him fall asleep? Or for a drive? This might help alleviate the constant rocking. People will tell you don't create a ritual like walking/driving to get him to sleep b/c he will depend on it. My friends all did these things and they didn't have to drive their 4 or 5 year olds around to get them to sleep. :) Also, you need to do what is right FOR YOU, your baby and your sanity.
I tried several things until I found what worked for me then I stayed with that for awhile until he changed and I had to roll with those changes altering my routine to something new that worked for him.
* Hang in there....this stage shall pass and a new one will come along. Just try all the advice you receive until you find what works for your baby.
She may be a 'high-needs' baby. Not a bad thing at all, but requires more hands-on care than most. My little girl (5 mths old) is this way... minus the reflux. During the day and on trips out and about, I carry her on me in my Moby Wrap. She gets lots of tummy and play time too with me close-by or down playing with her. We have 1 long nap in the day with a few 20min dozes here and there. This is because she will only go down with me. Night time is about the same, although occasionally she will go into her co-sleeper next to our bed and then be next to me after a few hours. Lately she has regressed with sleep, but she is also teething. She has been this way from very early on. Exhausting at times, yes, but way worth all the effort. If you would like to read more about special little ones like mine, and maybe yours, check out www.askdrsears.com. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your little girl, I am sure. But understanding her will help a whole lot. (This has all been typed with one hand while I hold and rock her with the other...).
I honestly don't think reflux is the concern.
You're doing a great job, Mom.
It __does__ get easier.
Give yourself a little break -- just an hour or an hour-and-a-half.
Get out of the house and do something FUN or relaxing for yourself.
Baby will be OK.
Daddy or Auntie or Grandma can handle her for an hour.
Really. She'll be OK and you'll feel much better.
And, whether it's __just__ teething or not,
do whatever is appropriate for soothing teething.
She sounds like a very sensitive child.
Just in case . . . have you observed any differences
when you've eaten certain foods?
I wonder if you and she might have some relief
if you try eating relatively bland food for a couple of days.
She might be reacting to something in your milk
that you haven't considered to be an irritant.
Y'never know.
Hi-
We had a similar situation with our son, when he was about 4 weeks till almost 5mos. He had reflux, and even with 2 meds (Zantac & Prevacid) he was still a very difficult baby, and very difficult to get to sleep. My routine ended up 'bouncing' him for about 20-30min before each nap, and then also before bed. I ended up with a wrist problem from all the bouncing, but it worked. Sometimes it was nice to bounce him while sitting on an exercise ball. I also had to sleep propped up on pillows from time to time while he slept on my chest and I had the boppy wrapped around me. We could put him in the swing once he was asleep on the high setting and sometimes he would sleep a little longer. (this did not create a habit) Anyways, this lasted till almost 5mos, when he started to turn a corner, and get to sleep with less and less bouncing, and then would even fall asleep some on his own. It was a slow and gradual process, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. He was completely weaned off his meds around 6mos, and could fall asleep on his own.
Just hang in there and have someone give you a break here and there, b/c it can really drain you. She may need some Tylenol for the teething, and if you have more symptoms of reflux they may need to up her Zantac or add a med.
Good luck and know that it will end!
What you are eating is important. Milk is the number one allergen across the board. You might try removing it and gluten from your diet. I personally would be very very picky about which vaccinations she gets and make sure what you are seeing isn't a vaccine reaction. My son used to scream in the night and was a very fussy baby and I couldn't comfort him. He is autistic and I now believe he was in pain which is why he was always so fussy. I'm not saying your child is autistic, just sharing my experience.
N., I am glad you aren't letting a baby that young just cry it out. Babies have no way of telling us anything except to cry. I have 5 children and now several Grandchildren. One had sever colic. We all took turns walking , bouncing on the washer and dryer the movement helped, but my sweet daughter in law never lost patience and was always tender with her. It literally was 6 months until the colic ended! At three months she will be getting ready to have teeth break trough as well so put your little finger in the mouth and rub the gums to help the process. Often a pacifer helps as well(just don't keep using it after age 2). We had a baby swing in 2 rooms to help rock when the mom just couldn't anymore. Children that are like this a sweet and loveable when they get through this time so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you ever find yourself getting angry and unable to cope then tell someone and ask for help -- a neighbor, an older woman who is missing her grandchildren might enjoy rocking a baby for a while, or a pre- teen or teen in the neighborhood to help with other things while you hold baby or they hold baby.
It is hard to do it all the time by yourself. I hope that you are getting outside in a stroller walking that way often helps as well . Good Luck mom and know you are doing your best, if you need anything more contact his site and someone will help you.
Mine would all do that if I ate dairy and then breastfed them. I'm not sure how common that is but you can try it out and see if it helps. Good luck and congratulations!!
I just wanted to add a "you're not alone" -- my older son sounds just like your baby. Now that he is two, his personality remains what I call "sensitive" (his body and emotions are more volatile). I think that some babies are just more sensitive to the world around them. The benefits are that the intelligence is off the charts (he was speaking short sentences at 18mts) -- but the fussyness is really hard on a mom. Teething definetly affects the entire body, including the immune system and mood, and these sensitive babies feel the worst of it. You're doing a good job, responding to his needs and trying different things to see what works (I also did craniosacral therapy),
Have you expressed your concerns to her Pediatrician? I think if it were me I would have her checked out completely and if the Ped. says that she is healthy (no infection or anything else) I would ask what he thinks you should do. There are natural products for teething, does she have a swing or bouncy chair she could nap in maybe that would help or possibly wrapping her tightly in a blanket might help. We use an all natural spray (to spray around his bedding and in the room to help relax) from Arbonne and a massage oil from Arbonne to put in my grandson's bath water and they really helped him anytime he wouldn't or couldn't sleep. Also the Pediatrician told his parents to let him cry it out I am not sure at what age this was. Good Luck to you I hope it gets better. If you want more info on the spray and oil for the bath send me a private message.
Kay
