My son hates to go to sleep. It would be awesome if I could put him down in a crib (or cradle, or swing, or rocker, or playard) to sleep, but for now he still needs someone to hold him, and I'm ok with that. In the middle of the night he seems to understand it's time to sleep, and will usually go back to sleep pretty easily. But every nap is a struggle. He will cry and squirm for anywhere from five to twenty minutes before finally drifting off.
It doesn't matter how we hold him, whether we try to calm him down first, or anything. He will stay awake and looking around (even in a boring, dim room) until he just can't take it anymore, and starts crying. I've tried relaxing him, massage, speaking quietly, etc. when he shows signs of drowsiness, and I've tried waiting until he's really tired, no difference. Eyes wide open, taking it all in, and then bam - crying from tiredness.
Is this normal? It's not a huge deal because it's only a few minutes out of the day, but I feel so bad that I can't just get him to relax enough to sleep without a fight.
I think for now I am stuck with the situation. The problem is exactly that he's over-tired. But if I put him down or try to rock him to sleep before he becomes over-tired, he stays awake, looking around, until he's either bored or over-tired. I refuse to do CIO - let him fuss a little, sure, but once he starts actually crying I will tend to him.
My three month old was like that but is getting a little better. Daytime sleep is a little different than night time sleep. I found she sleeps best on her belly in her bassinet but when this is your second child that isn't always possible. Try putting him down for a nap every two hours or so. Good luck!
Totally normal. I had to hold my son for naps until he was closer to 6 months, and other friends have told me the same thing.
The overtired thing makes sense to me as well. Try putting him for a nap earlier - before he seems tired.
A 2 month old is too little, IMO, to try CIO aka the self soothing technique described by the prior poster. Even those who recommend CIO don't recommend starting until 4 months, since before that the baby really doesn't understand and can simply feel abandoned.
My last words of advice are to enjoy the snuggles! It all goes too fast.
He's normal.
Infants usually sleep a lot... if a baby is 'over-tired" it can actually be harder to them to fall asleep... and some babies/kids actually seem more 'awake' when tired. This indicates that they are OVER tired. Already.
Also, a baby cries or has a hard time sleeping... if over-tired and over-stimulated.
Infants/babies get over-stimulated REAL quick. Hence, they seem to 'struggle' even if tired.
Babies.. also "cry" in order to shut-out... over-stimulation. It is a baby's way, of shutting out things. Especially when over-tired.
It is also COMMON that a baby squirms/cries before falling asleep... they are drifting off... and trying to 'self-soothe.' They are only an infant, and that is how they do it...
And yes, a baby NEEDS comforting... and to 'need' someone to hold them... when tired, especially. Nothing wrong with that. It is instinct.
You also need to feed on-demand.... even at night and 24/7, day and night. Because, if intake does not keep up with them and their growth-spurts... they will not be happy and always hungry.
Always feed/nurse before sleep. And for wakings. LOOK for his hunger cues as well.
You said he stays awake looking around until he 'can't take it anymore...'.... this is not because he is 'bored'... it is because he is OVER-tired and over-stimulated, by then.
By the time they show drowsiness.... they are usually already, over-tired.
He is normal.
all the best,
Susan
I remember reading that babies need our help to fall asleep because they are used to the constant movement in the womb. Can you walk him in a stroller? That used to work best for me. My son was the same way however. You can also try a white noise machine in his room. Good luck!
He doesn't hate to go to sleep, he's overtired. He doesn't need someone to hold him, you're holding him to soothe him. You admit you've tried several things that didn't work. Maybe you're misunderstanding what he's trying to tell you. By rocking, smiling, cooing, singing, whatever, you're stimulating him. He doesn't want to relax, he wants to check stuff out, (or he has a gas bubble.) Try swaddling him snugly, laying him in his crib, and walking out while he's just contentedly looking around.!! Sure, he might fuss, but give him 5 minutes---on a timer!-- to settle himself. Go back in and soothe him without picking him up, and try again for 8-10 minutes. He can learn to soothe himself, but not until you give him a chance to try it.
oh i feel your pain!! my son is 9 weeks and does the same....except it takes sometimes 2 hours to put him down.
At this age, it's totally normal. Try swaddling him to make him feel secure. other than that, keep holding him if that's what he needs. They grow so fast - mine is almost 3 and wish he'd let me "hold" him again! Good luck
