Attempting to Prevent "Bullying" at Our School

I just saw a special of PBS that talked about bullying. What I found most interesting was that successfully combating bullying (according to them) was that the key to creating an environment where bullying doesn't develop is to teach bystanders to support the bullied kid.

They said that there are three parties to bullying: the bully, the bullied, and the ones who stand around and watch. The key to prevention is the ones who are standing there.

I thought that was interesting.

hi, i just wanted to say that i think what you are doing is awesome. i think its the only real way to make a difference, good for you!
dont forget that in kindergarten, most of the kids still dont have great social skills. a lot of things that can be taken for meanness are often just kids who havent yet learned how to interact. when my son first went to school and he wanted to play with someone, he would go up and scream in their face like a nut. scared them! we did some role playing (a wonderful tool, especially at this age), and he got the picture. also, just to show the other side of the coin, there was a kid in my sons class who was giving him a hard time. i talked with michael about how to stand up to him, etc etc,,,, then i was in the room for a couple of class parties, and i was watching this kid, turns out that he has a really hard time in school, is very frustrated by the work he cant do, cries a lot, etc. i felt bad for him. i took a different approach after that, told michael that he just has a hard time, he is frustrated, maybe he has a bad day and maybe he could use a friend. they havent become friends or anything, but by making the kid more human and vulnerable, the whole thing has kind of diffused.
also, i guess right now they are young for this, but their siblings arent...dont forget about cyber-bullying. it is huge.... that crowd of cheerleaders keeping the whole thing going is no longer limited to 10 or 30 kids in the playground like when we were kids, it is limitless and tremendously powerful and damaging.
best of luck to you all, i would love to hear how it goes.

Hello,
I don't have any advice, but wanted to applaud you and the other parents for being so proactive! I have a 2.5 year old son and a 2 month old daughter, and the thought of them being bullied, or bullying others, gets me so heated already! I am really hoping I never have to deal with that kind of situation, but plan to prepare myself just incase.
I am so glad that people like you are taking such an initiative to come up with solutions to this kind of problem. So often, we do leave it up to the school staff but let's face it, WE are the parents, WE need to step in and do something when it comes to the safety of our children. Nobody protects them like we do.
Good for you! This has inspired me to do the same when my children are in school.
Take care,
Lynsey

Parents magazine had an article a year or two ago (you could probably e-mail them to look it up, especially if it's for a group discussion) -- but the thing that stuck with me was adults who are usually emotionally healthy ROLE PLAYING bullying with one another. Their son was being bullied and he would just take it, but seeing his mom bully his dad (on purpose, and making clear that it was for show) gave an opportunity for the family to come up with ways for the dad to stand up for himself, then the son to do the same. It just stuck with me as an effective strategy.

Hi JG,
This may be premature, but please check out this website, www.challangeday.org . It is a program that can be started at the middle school age. I have been involved with this program for 3 years now. It is LIFE changing for the kids and adults who attend. Maybe you could start to get this implemented in your district. We all have to try to pass on the right messages to our kids. Good for you, for trying to address this now. Good luck! Let us know how it goes.
R.

After experiencing bullying first hand with my daughter (who is now 20) I can tell you that parent's need the workshops not just the kids. Teaching kindness, and respect, for others starts at home and should not be the responsibility of the school. I am an educator and it seems that parents think it is our job to raise their kids not just educate them. I think what you are doing is great and I hope this will be the first step to help children who fall victim to bullying. I know if can make their life a living hell. I have to agree that most of these workshops for the kids go in one ear and out the other. Parents need a wake up call!! Maybe you can have some children who have been victims speak at the parent meeting and let the parents see first hand the effect bullying is having on the children. Children have a right to go to school and learn not to be bullied. Kudos to you and good luck!!!!

Anything that's done to prevent problems and open lines of communication is a blessing. Let us know how it turns out.

http://www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov/adults/default.aspx

Hi JG,
Good for you and the other parents to get involved. Those school anti-bullying programs and policies truly are a waste of time. My kids (now 10 and 14) had to sit through them rather than having academic time in the classroom, and it didn't stop them from experiencing bullying. I think that parents can make a difference. I work in an elementary school, and while there are consequences for bullying, I'm sure that it often goes unreported or the consequences are not effective. We can't stop kids from behaving this way, only present consequences after. I think it's the attitude of the parents at home, not in wanting to keep their kids from being bullied, but to keep their children from bullying others, that will make a difference. Working in school, I see that many children today have not learned basic manners and courtesies, they do not know how to treat others, and I believe that many parents do not demand respect at home. If kids don't have to treat their parents with courtesy and respect, they won't treat anyone else that way either.
Good luck!