Autism Spectrum and Potty Training

Updated on August 29, 2008
J.K. asks from Berwyn, IL
17 answers

My son will be 3 next month and has been diagnosed on the autism spectrum. He is fairly mild since the doctor said that with therapy, he could fall of the spectrum. He is very anxious about potty training and diaper changes. Can others who have children on the mild end of the spectrum tell me about your potty training experiences and the age of your child at the time trained? A little about my son - he is extremely visual, very verbal, but echos everything and likes to line up toys. He is very rigid about the way things are.

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A.H.

answers from Rockford on

J.,
My children are not autistic but when I was in college I was a nanny for a family with a son that was. I moved in with them when he was 3 months old until 4yrs old. I also have a few friends with you type of situation and they said about 5 was when things really started to come together, but if he wants to start why not let him if you think he is ready just understand that with autisitic children the process can take much longer. Hang in there!

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J.A.

answers from Rockford on

My son has Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning autism). Potty training was looooong, and took a great deal of patience. He was at least three when we started getting any kind of results at all. The biggest problem we had was that he would just not seem to notice that he had to go, until he had to go RIGHT NOW. (If then.) If he got preoccupied in a game, tv show, playing, reading...Forget it. While he was hypersensitive to some things, he was less than sensitive to his own biological needs. He just didn't notice the sensations.

You might find better success if you use cloth underwear, and plastic underwear covers, rather than using pullups. Feeling the wetness and such seemed to help speed things along some. (Only a little.)

What had the most progress was using a sticker chart. I just drew up a graph on a piece of paper. We bought cheap stickers at the doller store (he picked them out). Every time he successfully used the potty, he got a sticker. Then we found out he liked tootsie rolls, so he got a tootsie roll mini along with the sticker. (It helps if you can keep a supply in your purse, too.) After earning ten stickers, he got a small reward. (Matchbox cars were popular.) After filling up the sheet, he got a big reward, something he really wanted.

This seemed to make the most difference. He REALLY liked the tootsie rolls, so he'd be just waiting for the sensation to come on so he could go. And we could provide babysitters and daycare providers with tootsie rolls and stickers so that there was a lot of consistancy to the plan. That matters. whatever you decide to do, make sure it can be done EVERY TIME, even if you are away from home, and even if he is not with you.

If your son perseverates, that may be useful. Use whatever he obssesses on as your rewards.

I hope this helps!

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J.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.,
I too have a son that has autism like traits, although his are from medical issues. We also had a very hard time potty training him. I found a seminar about potty training geared towards delayed children by a behaviorist. We even had her come to our house for some tips. My son ended up being fully trained by 4 1/2, which is not bad considering.
I would say at 3 just get him use to the idea. But here are the steps if you want to try more.
So these are the tips that the behaviorist gave us and worked 100% in about a month:
1) Do not ask him if he has to go - just take him, make it a routine. We did it before something fun. Like let's go potty before we go outside and play.
2) Make the potty a stress free accessable area - we would leave the door open and this is weird but by Alice's advice we would leave treats on the bathroom sink. I guess it makes them want to check it out.
3) Give up your control - he will be trained when he is ready (as long as you have prepared him).
4) When you think they are showing signs of being ready - Go for broke and get into underwear 100% during the day - this is were we had to fight the school. Let him pick out the undewear and explain that there is no more pull ups anywere. In fact, I had to hide them from my husband who wanted to use them for day trips.
5) All changing of accidents should be done in the bathroom - not easy if you have a small bathroom like ours. This is supose to show them that next time this is were they go. She also said to make it a long process so that it takes time away from playing and shows that going in the potty is much faster.
6) Give them independence - we found my son would go all by himself once we let go. Of course I still follow him to make sure he is ok. We bought kid soap, cool hand towels and a step stool so he could have his own place in the bathroom.
7) Lots of positive re-enforcement and no negative just be matter of fact and say we will try next time.

I know how stressfull this can be and I hope the suggestions help,
J.

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi there. I suded to work with autistic children in the classroom and clinic setting. The organizationI worked for was one of the first to do inclusion education. That being said...potty training is going to be a little bit of trial and error, as it usually is. Is he motivated by food? That was one way we really got kids to go. I also noticed you said he likes to line up toys, obviosly he likes order...has anyone talked to you about PECS (picture exchange communication system) yet. This could be a great way for him to put order to what he needs to do. Also, we used to read the book "Everybody Poops." Beleive me, all kids love that one. I once had to help make up a story about how all women get there periods for one of our older girls so she wouldn't be sccared when she got hers...and how everyone needs pads, you get my point. It really helped her a lot. Also, ask the school for some advice, or see what educational organization is in your area, and see if they can come out and observe and then come up with a plan of action. One thing is for sure, always keep it the same. Just a thought, maybe you could try something like for every success he has on the potty he can line up one toy...maybe trains since they link. Hope this helps, and i am sure it will work out fine.

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J.F.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J.,
I'd make him a picture schedule about the potty process. Just cut the pages from a book, maybe lamenate and put velcro on the back and make a chart. The therapists use picture schedules in our socialization class and the kids really respond to them.
Also- just wanted to throw this out there. Have you ever heard of the Body Ecology Diet? www.bodyecology.com We've been on it for about a month now. It has been known to do wonders for kids with add/adhd, autism and autistic spectrum. I have seen many changes in my son just in the past month. http://bodyecology.com/autism.php I hope this helps.
blessings,
J.

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N.G.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J. ~ Have you thought of or even heard about Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)? My son was recently diagnosed with this and has most of the same issues as your son. Autism was ruled out for my son. SPD is not widely recognized because of growing autism and ADD/ADHD diagnoses and most doctors just don't have enough training in it. My son is a little over 3 and still having problems with potty training. Basically, he's not recognizing when he has to go. He can hold it like crazy, but recognizing and telling us that he needs to go, not so much. It's quite frustrating on our end, so I know where you are!
N.
Mom of 2 girls (10 & 8) and 1 boy (3)

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Wow, it sounds like our kiddos are cut from the same cloth! My almost-four-year-old daughter has a provisional diagnosis of autism and exhibited (still does, but with therapy and special ed she is slowly making some improvement) a lot of the same behaviors as your son.

A lot of people have told me, "Oh, just lay off the potty training until she can communicate verbally that she has to go" or "Children with her sensory profile don't train until they are seven or eight." Do NOT listen to them. Definitely talk with his therapists and get a plan of action in place. Your son might take to it immediately, but if not, brace yourself to be content with patient progress.

Our experience toilet training can be summed up in three words: routine, routine, routine. I have tried every known method over the past year and a half for both communication-delayed and typically-developing children, and nothing else works. I still do a lot of laundry around here, and our couch pretty much needs replacement, but the payoff has been worth it. My daughter has developed significant bladder control, has consecutive dry days here and there, and is slowly becoming more comfortable using public toilets. Like I said, it's not perfect, but until the time that she can do this independently, this will do.

Oh, and get rid of the Pull-ups. Every time I backpedaled on that for convenience's sake it set us back. Go to Target and buy Gerber padded cotton training pants. If you're going somewhere where you're nervous about him having an accident, have him wear vinyl underpants on top of them. Additionally, involve him in the clean-up process. I have my kid take her pee-pee panties off and put them in the "yucky bucket" (a bucket we keep next to the washer for this purpose). If there's pee on the floor, I give her a paper towel and we sing the clean-up song.

I hope this is helpful. Best of luck to you and your son.

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E.B.

answers from Chicago on

My grandson was 5 before he was day trained and we are still working on the nights. My 3 year old grandson isn't interested yet. I'm raising both of them and they both have an ASD. One thing you should be aware of, if your child has a diagnosis then you can get free daipers or goodnights paid for by the state. My EI social worker got us hooked up but you can still get them even if you don't have a social worker. I attend Autism Society of IL Chapter meetings and the president of our chapter gave one of the moms a number to call. You might want to check the DHS website to see if you can get that information also. Good luck!

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hello! I would check out Little Friends in Naperville. They actually offer potty training for individuals with ASD, and have created an entire visual system just for this. I thought it was very good and very supportive to help out. You can go online and look up Little Friends, as they have a website as well to get training information. Good luck.
T.

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L.F.

answers from Chicago on

My youngest is on the spectrum. He potty trained at about 5 years old, right before entering kindergarden. I would use a visual picture schedule or social story to talk about potty training with your son. But be aware that most children on the spectrum won't potty train until they are a little older than normal children.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

My nephew had the same issue. He was four before he was potty trained. Since I'm not his parent (and it was a sore subject in the family...the poor parents took a lot of heat for not having him potty trained earlier...it was his difficulties with it that led to his diagnosis) I don't know the specifics but I know that they took him to a behavioral specialist and that worked wonders. Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Chicago on

I am an ECSE teacher. I have helped toilet train many children on the spectrum over the years. There are specific toilet training programs made for visual learners. They consist of step by step photos to guide your child. I think they come with too many pictures, but you can use as many or as little as you would like. Also, you can try taking your child to the washroom on a sceduled basis so he gets use to it. For example: everyday upon waking, after breakfast etc. I ofcourse do not know the exact name of the program off hand. If you are interested I can find out for you.

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N.C.

answers from Chicago on

J. K
I can really appreciate your concern because he is 3 years old and not yet potty trained. I raised at least 30 children in my childcare and one of the philosophies that many Moms have adopted regarding Potty Training is that their body will develop muscle control when it is ready, and they will get potty trained whether we like it or not. Have you heard of a 7 year old who isn't potty trained? Believe it or not, developing the muscle for going to the potty is a function of brain development. The only concern we have about them not being potty trained at 3 is if they have to go to school or pre-school. Then it becomes a problem because they will not be accepted at pre-school if they are not potty trained. Your son has a developmental delay. If he does not have to go to pre-school at his age, what would make a difference is if he had a regular pattern now of going to the potty, even while he is wearing diapers, like pullups. Make it fun or playful or a fun time with Dad. Have you heard of shooting Cheerios in the potty?
Many children of American families who had to live in an underdeveloped country had to go through the terrible pain of potty training at 1 year old, largely because of the expense of buying diapers. I really believe that forcing children before their brains are developed for this body function produces resistance and oppositional behaviors later on in life. I hope this made a difference for you. N.

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B.A.

answers from Chicago on

Hi J. -
My 3 kids are all on the spectrum and the older 2 are boys. My oldest was trained at 4 but my younger one wasn't fully trained until he turned 6. Since these guys are very visual start slowly by showing him the "Potty Book" for boys. Remember that due to spectrumy stuff it will take a lot of time and patience. We tried it all. Going diaperless, books, songs, bribes (Pizza did it for my oldest). It did get quite messy. We even saw a psychologist. My younger son did well at imitating his older brother and dad to go #1; but the poop was harder. He feared being flushed down with it. He also feared drains for a while. I did dances, made up songs and nothing worked. Eventually I had to hold him with a hug on the toilet while I flushed. Once he went it eventually got better. We were so happy we took the boys to Disney. Invest in lots of Urine B-Gone or Natures Miracle. Good luck! I feel your pain as I'm planning to start with my daughter (everyone says this will be easier) and I think its going to be just as tough.

B. A.

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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hello! My son Erik is 5 and has Autism and also a seizure disorder! We have been trying to potty train him since he was 3 at home and at his special needs preschool! We havw backed off because he just is not getting it! It is very hard! My son is verbal but lately I have noticed he is getting harder to understand! He also does a lot of the same things your son does!
S. Bailet CLD
Aurora
www.tendermomentsdoula.com

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D.L.

answers from Chicago on

J.,
I have a son who is 5 and has autism (mild to moderate). He was finally potty trained this summer. I made a picture schedule for each bathroom, visual training is very important!! I also keep a reward sticker chart in each bathroom to reinforce positive results. It took my son years to really understand body control and to understand the feeling of having to "go". Make sure that your son is truely ready with the body awareness that is neccessary to learn potty training or you will end up very frustrated!
Little Friends in Naperville uses a great system. They have parent trainings through out the year. Also, when both of are ready, I suggest getting ride of the diapers during the day and putting him in underpants and never put the diapers back on. There will be lots of accidents but I feel that's the only way kids with autism will learn body control. I know this sounds totally over-whelming! It took me a good year to actually do it because I didn't want to deal with the accidents. But, I'm really glad I did now!! Good luck!
D. Lockwood

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