Autistic Child at Camp

The camp director very likely won't be allowed to speak about any other child's condition with you as it would violate privacy laws, and technically Autism is a disability and a medical "condition" so she really shouldn't talk to you about him specifically. She shouldn't even really confirm to you that he has Autism without the parents' consent.

Since you're not certain that he has Autism, but it seems clear that he's special needs, you can talk to her about special needs in general and how sometimes some behaviors aren't a sign of someone being naughty but that they're having trouble figuring out when it's appropriate to say and do certain things. Or, as is a common ASD catch phrase: Autism isn't the way you think.

You can perhaps encourage your daughter to be a good example for this boy. If he is indeed on the Autism Spectrum then he needs good models for behavior. This will also be a good time for your daughter to learn that not everyone follows social rules all the time, and that it doesn't always mean that they're bad for not following the rules... that sometimes they just can't help it. But that he's practicing and learning all the time, the same way she is. She's just learned sooner and more quickly than he has.

And perhaps that's where you can use it as a teaching moment. She had to learn to follow rules and obey adults in charge and do certain things because she didn't automatically grow up knowing these things... and in fact she's still learning these things. But some people take longer to learn these things and it's harder for them to learn.

How old is your daughter? Can you explain the concept of autism to her? My son had an autistic boy in his 2nd grade class and I was touched at how much these kids learned about autism and the kindness and understanding they showed that boy.

Marda you have no freaking idea what you are talking about! It is people like YOU that confuse parents of so called Normal kids and then they don't know what to tell their kids. who are you to decide whether or not someone has Autism????

I AM a mother of an autistic child and autism has nothing to do with lack of decipline, that is something that stupid people say when they don't know what they are talking about.

J. this is what you should say and do.... do talk to the director, even ask if you could meet with the parents, and introduce the children, explain to your daughter that Autism is a disorder of the brain and it makes him act differently and he CANNOT help himself.

best thing your daughter can do is be his friend and be understanding.

and no matter what stupid things that marda says, autistic children do have the right to be in "regular camps" it is good for them and helps them learn how the other kids act and its good for them.

my son didn't talk until age 3 when he was placed in preschool with other so called "regular" kids and started talking right away. he acts well at school when placed in a classroom with "regular kids his age" and if placed with other kids acts like them, when home he acts like his 3 year old sister but at school acts like the 6 year old kids he's with...

so don't listen to anyone like marda who is just being nasty. if you need more questions about Autism look it up or ask someone who knows don't rely on people like her.

I suggest that you talk with the director because this child is being disruptive and this bothers your daughter. He cannot tell you anything about the child but he can deal with the situation knowing that the boy's behavior is a negative factor in the camp.

Yes, we sympathize with a child who is autistic but that doesn't mean he should be in a camp of regular kids. He needs individual help to learn how to behave and he won't get that in a group of regular kids.

I also suggest that he may not have autism. He may have behavioral issues that are more related to a lack of discipline than autism or any other special needs. The camp director needs to know from kids and parents that his behavior bothers them so that he can ask the parents to take him out of the group.

My grandson is special needs and he is not allowed to disrupt a group. Yes, he has special needs but that doesn't give him the right to make camp not so fun for anyone else. He is, in fact, in a different school now because he was disruptive in the regular special education class. His behavior is getting better.

I believe that leaving a boy with special needs or other behavior issues in a group when he's disruptive is not doing him or anyone else a favor. May sound harsh but at the same time the child does have special needs that are not being met in a group of regular children.

Dee - First of all, the post stated that he had what "appeared" to be autisim. The post wasn't totally specific as to the diagnoses. Second, your post was over the top. Marda wasn't saying anything wrong she was pointing out that it might not be autisim but a behavior issue since the post wasn't totally sure as to the problem she just knew that this child was disrupting her daughter's class which was upsetting her daugthter.

I agree tolerance is something children should be taught but what about the tolerance of what my child needs? Some children with disabilites are not able to be in a "regular" class. It is not fair to my child to force that. My child is just as entitled to an education or camp as the next child. So how do you combined the two. Understanding each child. If this child is so disruptive then perhaps he should be taken out of the class until he can calm down or perhaps he is not able to handle the stimulation of all the children there. That is what needs to be addressed and I believe that is all Marda was saying.

While my children were not special needs they did have special needs kids in their class. My son was a great friend to one and his teacher gave him a card telling him how great he was to this child. I was very proud! But, the rights of my children's education are just as strong as yours are and there must be a balance for all.

I think as a parent , it' s your job to figure out how to explain the situation to your daughter , not the camp director. I think it depends on your daughters age.

Yes, talking to the director is a good idea. I would suggest that the important part of your message is not about the name of a diagnosis (i.e. autism or social disorder). Just express your daughter's concerns and your wish to help her understand. The director may or may not have the parent's permission to share techniques, and will respond accordingly. Either way, the director needs to know that your daughter is upset. It is entirely possible the director will be able to do something which will help both children. Thank you for caring.