Baby #2 Due in Dec. and Starting to Worry About Space and Money

I don't know that I have any sage advice, but just wanted to say I completely understand!! I was in graduate school when we had our first two boys and we still live in a 2 bedroom duplex with our cat and fish and expecting baby #3 in March. Our second baby stayed in our room for a year. Breastfeeding is awesome--free and so healthy for mom and baby, not to mention convenient. :) By the time our second was a year, we moved him into the other bedroom with his brother. They are doing so well sharing (bumpy at times) and love being close in age. We don't have a lot of space inside, but we try to manage. Downsizing with some furniture can help, get rid of whatever you don't need/use or store things. I put shelving around our living room ceiling for all of our books and collectibles (we're book people and like little random things) so we can have some nice things out but have more room from the waist down for toys and kids' books. Our house looks like a nursery after a tornado, but the kids are happy.

Never turn down hand-me-downs, watch for Craigslist ads for clothes and anything else, check out Angel Food Ministries (www.angelfoodministries.com) if you go through a lot of groceries, and pay it forward whenever you can so you also feel more deserving when people randomly help you out or give you things.

You are not alone, and your kids will remember love and time with family, not space or money.

We are expecting #2 in Dec too and we have a 2 bedroom house with one bathroom! I have a friend who is expecting #4 in Nov and they just bought a bigger house (4 bedroom to 5). Frankly I don't know why they need that much space I guess if they can afford it.... Anyhow, what really helped me to feel better (about the small space issue) is when we visited the house that my mother grew up in - it is a 3/1 and they had 4 kids and 2 adults and did just fine. Why is it that we all feel we need a bedroom/space for each person, an office, a play room, a family room, a dining room, an entertainment room, a game room, etc? I actually like the fact that our family will be close - yes, it will get a little annoying after a while and I would love, love, love another bathroom or at least a half bath but I stopped feeling guilty about having enough space a few months ago knowing that it is doable with our space =)

Also, my SO was laid off a month ago so I totally feel for your financial situation. I figure I'm going to have to spend at least $400 for essentials for the new LO, and then we have xmas and all it's pressures but I've decided to not even worry about that either because truly what is important is your family being happy and healthy and not about "things." Not that I wouldn't love to go out to a nice dinner for our upcoming anniversary or be able to spoil my awesome little girl for xmas but when I see how happy she is just to be able to spend time with me and her Daddy... well, like I said - that's what is important =)

Good luck!

First stop worrying because it's no good for baby or mommy! You will be fine with the space you have. There have been more people crammed into smaller spaces before. You can either keep baby in your room or the kids can share. My girls are 18 mos apart and as soon as the baby slept through the night (about 6 mos old) she shared a room with big sister. Now we have more space but they can't imagine sleeping without each other. It is hard without extra money but there is so much available second hand - you will be fine. When I had my first we were so BROKE! But I loved that year and spent all my time in the yard with the baby and at the beach or park. We just had quiet days together. Cut back on things that aren't necessary and just enjoy time at home with the baby. You can always go to work doing something and make money later. Cut back and simplify and just relish those snuggly, quiet winter days with the kids. You don't take the stuff with you when you die.

I also don't know if I have any great advice for you, but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone! We are expecting a surprise #4 in January and we live in a 3 bedroom townhouse. We have 3 girls and the new baby is a boy, so you can imagine that it will be hard to find him a spot in a "pink" house! I also usually work the winters full time but can't this year, obviously. So money is going to be tight for us a well. I was very stressed myself for a while, but I know things will work out somehow. I truely believe that God has a plan for us, even though I can't for the life of me figure it out! I have to trust that He will take care of us and that He wouldn't give me more than I can handle. So if I have to go without a few things or can only afford generic brands, that's ok. And I am so for hand-me-downs and garage sales! I'm not sure where you are located, but in my area there is a website called "Freecycle" where people post things they are looking for and things they want to get rid of. Everything is free and I have used it countless times for kids clothes, shoes, toys, housewares, furniture, just about anything!
Believe me, I know there are going to be days where you just can't imagine that things are going to work out, but they will. I have a plaque in my house that has become my mantra on those hard days. "Love grows in Little Houses." I have to believe that because we are filled to the brim! :)
Best of luck to you and just look forward to the precious little one coming, once you see that face, none of this will matter!
M.

In the old days when my parents had six children at home, we just made do. And my mother was with us, dad worked and we had one car, no nintendo, cable, no magazines mailed to us, one phone, we didn't go to every birthday party at Chuck Cheese, since there weren't any or those jumping things. We made do and that was it. We had television, but that was only a couple of channels. We listened to the radio and took out free library books. We played outside and enjoyed the son and the fresh air and seriously, I do not remember being unhappy. Now everyone has to have all sorts of stuff and really, who needs it? Do we really need eighty dollar shoes when the pair we bought last year was fine? There are garage sales and second hand shops, there are payment plans and stores that sell in bulk. You will figure it out. And yes, just really one, we had five of us sleeping in the same room at a time and we were okay. You see kids don't remember being that unhappy without the stuff. It is us who think we are depriving them. You'll be fine. Congratulations!

The best thing to do is to address your financial concerns so that you KNOW it can (and will!) work. And it can.
Get a budget, reduce expenses.
It will seem a whole lot LESS scary if you know where every dollar goes each month in advance!
If you don't already, start watching Dave Ramsay and get his book "The Total Money Makeover". Great ideas for getting control of your money!
Congrats on #2!

for baby items like crib, clothes etc don't buy from a store go to bookoo.com, it's like craigslist but better

It... will... be..... okay.
Yes it will.
Somehow... it will work out, and you will make due with what you have and you will, make it.

I/Hubby have had those moments too.... I understand your worry.
A friend of mine as well, with 2 children in a small home... has the same worries as you. She/her family, all sleep in the living room... as do many people... out of necessity.

You can apply to "WIC" for milk/formula/food basics. Just do a Google Search for "WIC programs..." in your area.
You can try www.freecycle.com for things you need.
You can put a floor futon in your bedroom... to accommodate your child/baby/children... if space is limited.
You can use the other room for doing Babysitting... in your home/or for others... even just part time... to earn extra money... in the meantime.

There will be ways... to make it... but you have to look for it... and meanwhile... put your kids on State provided medical insurance coverage... you can research that online, for your area. You need medical insurance... if you do not have any, now. Or if your Husband does not have you covered... via an employer etc.

all the best,
Susan

Updated

It... will... be..... okay.
Yes it will.
Somehow... it will work out, and you will make due with what you have and you will, make it.

I/Hubby have had those moments too.... I understand your worry.
A friend of mine as well, with 2 children in a small home... has the same worries as you. She/her family, all sleep in the living room... as do many people... out of necessity.

You can apply to "WIC" for milk/formula/food basics. Just do a Google Search for "WIC programs..." in your area.
You can try www.freecycle.com for things you need.
You can put a floor futon in your bedroom... to accommodate your child/baby/children... if space is limited.
You can use the other room for doing Babysitting... in your home/or for others... even just part time... to earn extra money... in the meantime.

There will be ways... to make it... but you have to look for it... and meanwhile... put your kids on State provided medical insurance coverage... you can research that online, for your area. You need medical insurance... if you do not have any, now. Or if your Husband does not have you covered... via an employer etc.

all the best,
Susan

Updated

It... will... be..... okay.
Yes it will.
Somehow... it will work out, and you will make due with what you have and you will, make it.

I/Hubby have had those moments too.... I understand your worry.
A friend of mine as well, with 2 children in a small home... has the same worries as you. She/her family, all sleep in the living room... as do many people... out of necessity.

You can apply to "WIC" for milk/formula/food basics. Just do a Google Search for "WIC programs..." in your area.
You can try www.freecycle.com for things you need.
You can put a floor futon in your bedroom... to accommodate your child/baby/children... if space is limited.
You can use the other room for doing Babysitting... in your home/or for others... even just part time... to earn extra money... in the meantime.

There will be ways... to make it... but you have to look for it... and meanwhile... put your kids on State provided medical insurance coverage... you can research that online, for your area. You need medical insurance... if you do not have any, now. Or if your Husband does not have you covered... via an employer etc.

all the best,
Susan

Updated

It... will... be..... okay.
Yes it will.
Somehow... it will work out, and you will make due with what you have and you will, make it.

I/Hubby have had those moments too.... I understand your worry.
A friend of mine as well, with 2 children in a small home... has the same worries as you. She/her family, all sleep in the living room... as do many people... out of necessity.

You can apply to "WIC" for milk/formula/food basics. Just do a Google Search for "WIC programs..." in your area.
You can try www.freecycle.com for things you need.
You can put a floor futon in your bedroom... to accommodate your child/baby/children... if space is limited.
You can use the other room for doing Babysitting... in your home/or for others... even just part time... to earn extra money... in the meantime.

There will be ways... to make it... but you have to look for it... and meanwhile... put your kids on State provided medical insurance coverage... you can research that online, for your area. You need medical insurance... if you do not have any, now. Or if your Husband does not have you covered... via an employer etc.

all the best,
Susan