Baby Blues

I was so very happy after baby #1, after baby #2 I cried more often. But this is normal, unless you really really feel you need help do not take medication. Docotros are just too quick to medicate.

A lot of doctors think that medication is the answer for anything.

Baby blues and postpartum depression are pretty common. However, you shouldn't need the medication unless you feel it's going to help.

To combat baby blues there are a lot of simple strategies you can use:

-Get some sunshine: This promotes Vitamin D production by the body and can actually help you sleep easier, feel better, and combat depression. If need be, open up some windows and let the light shine in.
-Find a post-partum support group. Most hospitals can give you a referral to one.
-Drink tea or do something with a little bit of a calming ritual feel:Bubble baths, reading a magazine one morning a week away from the house w/o the kids... even knitting- repetitive activity is soothing. (My soother is to use chopsticks to eat Chinese food- it forces me to slow down and take each item as it comes... instead of allowing myself to get overwhelmed.)
-Plan a little "adult" time. Ask Grandma to babysit, go out with Hubby and if need be, rent a hotel room. Remember that intimacy with the one you love can soothe very frazzled nerves. (When hubby and I do this, we don't even fool around- lol, we watch a movie and order takeout... the change of environment encourages us to pay attention to each other... and if we do decide to fool around, we feel much better about it and us.)

And mostly, don't discount the medication. If nothing seems to be getting you out of the funk, or you start feeling detached from the situation- medication and counselling might be needed... but it's usually a final option.

Hello J.. I'm 26 years old and have a 17 month old wonderful son. I recently gave in a went to the dr. 2 months ago because of STILL having the baby blues. I started out exactly the same way you did and I just thought it was because I just had a baby and didn't think twice of it, but as a year went by, I felt even worse. Finally with the help of my best friend, I went to the dr, and the whole time I cried and cried, I felt like the biggest baby in the world. But he was very kind and understanding, a little upset that it took me so long. He put me on a simple low dosage generic anti depressent. Let me tell you, I feel sooo much better! It's only 20 mg, but it feels like the world has been lifted off my shoulders. I hope that if you continue to feel this way, you do go see your dr. I am so happy that I did, and wish I wouldn't of taken so long, and let it get so bad. I was to the point where nothing made me smile except my son, my husband was getting the grunt of it all (poor guy) and everyone around me just knew that I wasn't happy. I'm much better now and my friends notice that I'm the old me again. My dr said that we could look in as little as 6 months to get off it or a year, so if you do go on it, it doesn't have to be forever, just enough to get you to where you want to be again. If you ever need to talk or anything, please don't hesitate to email me. I know sometimes it's easier to talk to a complete stranger then a family member about something like this. I know that only 1 person in our family knows I'm on it. Good luck.

V.
____@____.com

I would be a little wary of a doctor who wants to medicate so quickly. Have you been having any other symptoms of PPD? Such as depression? suicidal thoughts? not bonding with the baby? What does your husband say? He most likely would notice if something was wrong like if your behavior has changed drastically. I think ultimately it is your decision to take medication or not but like I said I would be wary of a doctor who is quick to medicate.

I've been in the same situation. At my 2 week post-partum visit I broke down crying to my doc. I had been crying just about all day everyday and, like someone else said, the only thing that made me smile was the baby. They gave me Zoloft (just 1/2 a pill b/c I'm breastfeeding). It helped me so much, but it got to the point where I didn't feel any emotion, good or bad. So I went off of it at 3 months. I began feeling sad again at about 7 months and talked to my Dr. again, who put me back on the Zoloft at a different dosage. I've been on it for 2 months now and it has really helped me. I say if you had an isolated incident, try to work through it, but there is NO SHAME in getting help! Good luck!

Hi J. --

I'd trust your own feelings on this. After my first son was born last year, I had a few "out-of-nowhere" crying spells myself. Most of what I read indicated that was fairly normal since our hormones are still trying to get rebalanced after childbirth. If you're crying constantly and feeling completely overwhelmed -- that's a different story!

A doctor friend of mine mentioned that in this age of litigation, many doctors feel they need to protect themselves by offering treatment if they even suspect issues (like depression) with patients. If something happened to you or your kids and your doctor had "ignored" the symptoms, s/he could be held responsible. That might explain why she suggested drugs so quickly. Postpartum depression has gotten a lot of press in recent years.

Good luck; I hope you're feeling better!

This probably sounds pretty terrible, but I think it's probably normal. I have 2 kids (7 & 1 1/2) and sometimes I just break down. It's a lot of stress and sometimes it's just overwhelming. I have been there. I thought I was just the only one, but then I had talked to own Mother and told her what I was feeling.....ex. overworked, tired, run down, like I was just doing the same things over and over daily, underappreciated, overwhelmed. She said basically, welcome to motherhood. I still feel that way sometimes. I love my family more then anything else in this world. I think it just is natural. As long as you aren't having any "episodes" or are feeling depressed or angry towards your kids, I'm sure you know what I am meaning by that, then I think you are probably going to be just fine. Take some "YOU" time and relax. Lord knows we mothers deserve it! I wish you the best and take care.

First of all, I wouldn't be too upset about it - a Dr can prescribe whatever they want, you don't have to fill or take it. I think nowadays with all the publicity about Post Partum depression, many doctors are overly concerned and want to make sure you have the help you need. I would explain to your doctor your feelings and thank them for their concern, even take the written prescription in case things suddenly get worse. I think symptoms of ppd can develop anywhere in the first year after a woman gives birth. Let your doc know that you have plenty of support and that your husband and you are both aware of the possible problem and are on the lookout and that you would prefer not to use the meds. You're right that tearfulness is quite normal and you shouldn't be worried either - just cautious - the more severe symptoms of post partum depression have caused women to harm themselves and their children. Congratulations on your new addition!

J.- Post Partum Depression has nothing to do with how you feel about your children. It is however a very real, misunderstood and overlooked concern for women following childbirth. You know yourself and what you need. If you are not comfortable taking medication, don't. But remember it is an option if the crying/feelings become so overwhelming or interfere with your functioning. It helped for me to know other women have gone through similar experiences, so reading books written by women who have experienced PPD may be beneficial. "Sleepless Days" was one of the best I read. Also make sure to get support if you need it. There are several PPD support groups out there as well as possibly La Leche League if you are breastfeeding. Above all- do not blame yourself! This is a normal part of the birth experience for some women- and this too shall pass.

Hi J.,
I see that tons of people have responded, and at the risk of sounding redundant here is my two cents :)
After my first child I had some emotional issues as well, to put it mildly. I actually had to call off work (mental health days)for fear of murdering all of my coworkers. I was not depressed so much as angry and homicidal. I went to the doctor as well. She told me that after having children your body (brain specifically) can have a hard time adjusting to the hormonal shift. She suggested that I take Prozac, but only for 6 wks. She said that the Prozac would help my brain readjust the amounts of hormones it produced and responded to. I expressed my reluctance to taking meds for something that would hopefully resolve itself within 6-8 wks. She heard me and instead suggested I monitor myself (take timeouts as needed etc.) and then come back if I felt worse or no better in two months. It resolved itself and I am fine. Taking medication is a very personal issue and if you don't feel that its right for you and your situation than you shouldn't.
Try no to fault your doctor for jumping to medication though. He/she is really looking out for your quality of life. Doc's nowadays also have to worry about medical liability and what might be said about her practice if you left her office, went home and shot yourself had she not suggested some medicinal remedy. A little off subject but unfortunately true.
~L.

Hi J.,

I too had a similar thing happen except mine was not an isolated crying episode. I had several of them combined with being so tired I couldn't even think straight. I wasn't straight with my doc. or the nurse that came out to my house for the post partum baby check up. I did cry after she left though! When my son was five months old I still was feeling extremely tired and very down. I went to the doctor and had some thyroid tests done. It turns out I had what they call post partum thyroiditis. This is what was making me very tired and depressed. I couldn't take anything except high blood pressure medication (my thyroid problem caused my pulse to race). I basically had to wait until my levels returned to normal on their own. They did when my son was about 7 months old. Everything is fine now thank goodness.

If you feel that you are getting along okay, I would see how things go without the medication. If you feel like things aren't okay, then go for it. I waited to long to address my issue. I was too embarrassed and ashamed because I thought I was just being a wimp. This was my first baby and all of my friends who had babies around the same time were so happy and full of energy! If I had to do it all over again, I would have thrown up the flag a lot sooner and been more honest about what was going on. I never had bad feelings about my son, I just felt like crying all the time. It especially got bad every day around 3 pm.

You are the best judge of how you are doing. If you are feeling like something is off, let it be known and do what you need to do to make it better. There is no shame in taking meds. to help! You are not alone in your feelings that's for sure! From one mother to another, you have my support.

Hope everything is okay.

C.

Hi J.,
I am really surprised that a female doctor was so quick to suggest medication. Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions, perhaps it is normal (aside from gender of dr.)
I think the way you are feeling is completely normal. What's wrong with crying? If she is worried that it is a chemical embalance b/c of your pregnancy, then she should've had you evaluated. If you started crying because you are tired, overwhelmed, nursing, happy, did I mention, tired, tired, and tired??? Of course you're going to cry when someone asks how you are! She is probably one of the first person(a medical professional at that) to take time to care about your well being. (Not that your husband doesn't care, but he is probably just as tired and overwhelmed as you are!)
No one knows you better than you. I'm not saying don't get on medication b/c you deserve to feel goood inside. (If that's what it would do.) I also don't want you to have to feel numb to all of the wonderful feelings, good and bad, that come with being a new mom. Even if it is the second time around.
I hope you find what you need and continue to enjoy your new blessing.
Have a nice day!
G.

Your issues seem all too familiar. With my first child, I completely ignored similar symptoms until he was about 10 months old and was diagnosed with both exhaustion and post partum depression. With my second child I was much more cautious. I had horrible hormone fluxes and I cried every day at 5 p.m. on the dot - for NO reason. I was estatic with both my children and had no reason to be sad, but you cannot control hormonal issues. I saw my doctor at my 6 week check-up and immediately was prescribed an anti-anxiety/depressant and it helps tremendously! What you want to be very careful about is ignoring the physical reasons for the baby blues and ending up in really bad shape later. Baby blues that become PPD does not go away on its own - it gets worse! So, be mindful of those issues when you make the decision not to take your doctors advice. It is not that you do not have help or that you cannot handle your children, it is your body being all out of whack from having two babies. I hope this helps in your decision.

Hi,
I was put on Lexapro after my second daughter was born. I had crying spells like you described, only they were every day and all day. The Lexapro helped, but I hated the idea of being on medication. My dr. suggested I stay on it for 3 months but I quit after 4 months. Coming off the medication had some unpleasant side effects. I think it worked for me because I couldn't function on a daily basis. I would think one or two crying episodes is normal and not cause for medication. But, that is just my opinion. Good luck to you.

J.,

I completely sympathize with you. I think it is normal for the hormones to make otherwise happy, but tired, women tearful. I, personally, never like the idea of medicating a temporary condition if not absolutely necessary. Unless you begin feeling completely overwhelmed, become non-functional, ignore the needs of your children, or start having thoughts of hurting yourself or your family, or a desire to "abandon ship" and leave, I doubt you need chemicals to feel better. Being a mother is a tough job. Breastfeeding is a huge demand. Take care of yourself and your loved ones, seek external help if you need it, eat healthy food, and sleep when you can.

Be well. Do not be afraid to reach out for help if you need it. If the first person you ask says No, ask someone else. Your hormones will stabilize soon, and you'll feel better.

Take care,
K.

Hi J.:
Before starting medication, I would suggest some lifestyle changes if you can swing it. I assume you're cleared for exercise...it may seem like an impossibility for you right now, but if you can fit 20 minutes of stretching, meditation and/or exercising in each day, you might just feel like a new woman. Easier said than done, with all that you're juggling, but you must prioritize YOU for a small block of time every single day. A happy mom is a good mom. Pilates is my personal Prozac and got me out of my post-partum funk almost immediately once I was OKed by my doc to work out. Physically, it helped me drop the baby pounds and feel better about myself overall.
Diet is another thing -- you're probably eating well since you're breastfeeding, but if you eliminate some processed foods from your diet and substitute them with fresh greens, organic meats and more fruits, you'll likely notice a big change. And never underestimate the power of a glass of wine or two on occasion, if you have a pump handy, of course. :) If those modifications don't work or are impossible, I'd consider the meds as a last ditch effort. Just my two cents! I really hope you feel better and I have a lot of respect for all that you do with two little ones under one roof!

Hi J.,

Hang in there. I suffered from depression after my first son was born and was treated with anti-depressants. I don't think there is one right answer for everyone. I just had my second child and right away the Dr. wanted to treat me again. I am not on anything. I think as long as you are aware of how you are feeling you can make it through this period without Meds. It is completely normal to have some up and down moments. I am breastfeeding an 8 week old and nursed my first child for 10 months. You are sleep deprived, it will get better. I hope my thoughts help.

R.

hello- if you have only had one epidose, i would not worry about it! after my 2nd daughter- i had two crying episodes for no reason. i never felt sad or depressed. she is now 9 and it only happened those 2 times. best of luck!

I had my son last June and was put on a small regiment of anti-depressants in January for post-partum depression. One piece of advice I wish I had been given was to pay attention to your symptoms and trust your own judgement as well as that of those closest to you. It took my family sitting me down and telling me that they were worried before I even realized I had post-partum depression because I didn't pay attention to the symptoms. Unfortunately my husband had and still has very little idea what post-partum depression is, so he did not realize what was going on, he just thought that I needed to get out and make new friends or maybe get a job. But if you let it go, it can get out of hand quickly without you really noticing. Trust your own judgment, and if you think you don't need the medication yet, don't do it. Plus, things will change once you go back to work too. You may not need medication once you get back into the swing of things.