My best friend is pregnant and I offered to throw her a baby shower. She also has some other friends from work that wanted to throw her a shower as well. My friend doesn't have a lot of people she wants to invite, just her work friends, me, one friend who lives in aother state, her sister, her mom and MIL. So we are talking a shower with 10 people total. It would be silly to throw more than one shower.
Since her work friends all work together and wanted to do it together, plus they all know each other, my friend decided to let them do it. I was fine with that because finances are tight (and my bestie knows that) so it seemed like everything worked out for the best.
Except I received the invite and it's for a day I can NOT possibly attend! I am in a show and we are doing 3 shows that weekend and the shower is on a Saturday during the day AND during one of our shows.
All the invites went out and the restaurant is reserved so there is no way they can reschedule. I will be missing my best friend's ONLY baby shower!!!!
To top it off, my friend is going through some hard times. She is so stressed with her work situation (possible layoffs) and just found out her husband may be laid off or have to relocate to a different state. I don't want to say anything to her but she is going to be soooooo disappointed.
I'm not sure how or when to bring it up. And should I just plan a luncheon for just the two of us to celebrate her baby? How else can I celebrate her impending motherhood? I was SO looking forward to her shower. It's something we've both talked about since we were maids of honor in each other's weddings.
You two go out together for dinner and some bestie time. She would probably way more appreciate some one-on-one time with you outside of the shower. I know I would!
My only very close friend came from out of town (4 hours one way) to take me to lunch when she couldn't make my baby shower. Do you know how nice it was with just the two of us and being able to talk unfettered baby baby baby the entire time? Her gift was wonderful too since it was an assortment of the ultra practical. In my opinion I think a luncheon would be a great alternative. Good luck.
I would call whoever at her work seems to be the primary planner for this and explain the situation - not just leave a "can't attend" message or something. Say how disappointed you are since you have been best friends for SO long and you both have been talking about this event for such a long time. Tell them if it were any other day, you would make it work etc, etc. They may offer to reschedule, but probably not. They do need to understand they screwed up by not consulting you. I mean, honestly, there are only 10 people being invited, you'd think they would plan so everyone can attend.
Then send a gift to the shower - with only 10 guests (9 max now, if everyone else can make it) the gift opening will go pretty quickly, so having your gift there will be good for her.
Then take her out somewhere nice to eat and spend your time together. She can tell you all about it then.
If it were me I would tell her now, but then for sure plan a special day for just the 2 of you. That would probably be better anyway because then she can chat with you the WHOLE time instead of having to mingle. An awesome lunch, could even throw in a trip to get pedi's, and her gift would be a perfect day!
I think a nice luncheon with the two you would be nice. Take your friend out to lunch and give her the baby gifts.
Honestly, this seems weird to me. She is your best friend, knows that you have these "shows" on the weekends and didn't think to run the date by you first to make sure you could go? I would call her asap and tell her you can't go and that you would like to plan a special lunch or dinner out with her. In the big picture, its more important that you are there for her AFTER the baby comes than going to the shower. I hope it works out for you guys. Good luck.
People have work only showers all the time. It would have been best to let them do the work shower, and you did the close friends/family shower. No big deal. I only had 5 people at one of my baby showers b/ it was just very close friends/family.
But I suppose the work friends are inviting the other family/friends? If so, than take her out to a fun little luncheon. You can even make her a little mom to be corsage or decorate the table or something so you feel like you really participated.
I believe that you should have been in on the scheduling, since you are a critical guest. I honestly believe that this is one case when it can and should be undone and rescheduled. It's just like if her friends made all the arrangements and forgot her mother. Especially with there being so few people expected, it shouldn't have been too much to send out a "save the date" and coordinate it better. It was tacky and rude for them not to have worked harder to include her best friend. Unacceptable.
Unfortunately, YOU can't be the one to change it. Let her know ASAP that you won't be able to make it. Maybe she'll decide on her own to talk to them about changing it. If not, do something separate with her and her family. (I'm mad at those work friends.)
what I would do is send a gift for the shower, and then take her out to dinner just the two of you when you are able to. And just call her and explain that the shower falls during one of your shows, and it would be impossible for you to be there, but you will be there in spirit!!! I'm sure since you guys are such good friends that she will understand.
Plan a lunch for the two of you and just tell her. She will understand. They probably chose a weekend because they all work mon-fri. it is totally understandable. And no i disagree with the previous poster who said you should have been included in the plan making. you gave that up to them. it is sad that you can't be there but on the upside. she will be able to tell you all the stuff she got and have your total attention. something that is hard when you have a room full of women who all want to talk.
I like your idea of taking her out to lunch to celebrate. Also, since her co-workers are giving her a shower first, then you can just help to fill in some of the gaps in terms of what she didn't receive, but will definitely need for her new baby. She's your best friend, and I'm sure she knows what your work schedule is like, and that you can't bail out on a show you've already signed up for, paid for, etc. She will understand when you explain it to her, especially since you want to schedule a lunch to celebrate with her.
Yes take her to lunch and buy her a special gift. Even though she's having a rough time she should understand. Why didn't the work friends inquire about which Saturday would work for everyone? If your friend knows you're in a show i'd think she'd relay this info to them.
Is it a time when you could be there "virtually" by Skype? Maybe you could do both- be on a webcam or something AND do something one-on-one.
I never had a baby shower though (and I have 2 kids!) so I am not sure how these things work!
Ouch not a good situation. I am sure if you explain to your bestie she will be upset but understand. Maybe you can plan a day with her to do a one-on-one baby shower! Just something special for the two of you to do together to prepare for baby or have a small shower with you her mom, sister and MIL. Good luck with your situation.
Call her tonight and let her know. also think that this should be rescheduled...there are only 10 people so this shouldn't be a problem. If your friend say she wants to then you should let her. It is wrong that they didn't consult with you on days and if it were me I would be a little disappointed in my friend for not saying "that date sounds geat but lets check with C. because I know she has shows." She fefinitely dropped the ball on this one as she should have made sure they contacted you.
