Baby Shower for Baby #2

Updated on July 24, 2008
S.T. asks from Park Ridge, NJ
31 answers

Looking to see how many of you had another baby shower for baby #2. I have a 3 year old daugter and we have basically everything that a baby needed but, we just found out we are having a baby boy. This is the 1st boy in the family. Do you have another shower? Thanks for your thoughts.

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

S.,
We have been tossing this around as well. I want to have a shower for my daughter in law and some people were not really receptive. We have a 3 year old grandson .The baby is a girl. They too have the big items. So I decided to have a Sprinkel instead. People can bring anything else they want such as diapers, bath items bottles blankets onezeys etc. Nothing really expensive.Especially since you are having a boy I think is is appropriate to have another shower.Congratulations! Take care

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J.E.

answers from New York on

I had a small family shower when I was pg with baby #2 (a girl, the first was a boy). It was nice to get some pink things since everything I had was geared toward boys.

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K.J.

answers from Rochester on

I think every new baby deserves to be celebrated! Perhaps instead of a "shower" you could have a "meet the baby" party. I really regret that we didn't have a celebration when my son was born. And, yes, we had almost everything we needed left over from his older sister, but still you'll want blue receiving blankets and other incidentals that every baby boy needs!

Congrats, good luck, and just have a party! He's worth it even if it "bends the rules of ettiquette." Who cares! :-)

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T.B.

answers from New York on

Of course you have another shower....but with the closest family and friends. I had a second shower for my second daughter and the first was only 2 1/2.......My parents, aunts and cousins were there. We see each other all the time. My distant aunts that would be invited to the first were not invited to the second. Anyway - good luck to you!!!!!

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K.B.

answers from New York on

I had a shower for all three of my kids. I didn't throw the showers myself. They were all done by my sisters/sister in law. I don't think it's terrible thing to have more than one. Each child should have something that's just theirs! And your time becomes limited with the more children you have. If you are uncomfortable with it, let those close to you know you'd rather not have one. Otherwise, I'd let those who want to, shower you with happiness!!

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M.R.

answers from New York on

The answer is YES. Every pregnancy should end with a shower, big or small it doesn't matter but you will always have a need for pampers and or small items. Plus it's a great time to have friends and family share in your joy. Don't feel guilty for having another shower, just make your registry specific to the things you need or new products that were not available at the time of your last birth. A great touch at the shower would be a letter explaining the differences in pregnancies and some of what the last 8 months have been like in 8 by 10 picture frames so people can enjoy in your process. (I was a party planner for years)

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B.D.

answers from New York on

I always thought showers were for 1st children only, but when I was pregnant with my 2nd daughter, my sisters threw me what they called a "drizzle". It was only a few of my closest friends and family and the gifts were small and practical. My sisters felt that my 2nd baby deserved her own celebration. They also wanted to make sure I had pictures to put in her baby book as there was a whole section entitled "My Shower" and they thought it would be sad to leave it blank!

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S.M.

answers from New York on

Hello,
I have a two year old daughter and actually pregnant with another girl. I did not have a second baby shower but if it was a boy I would of. I would have another one. If you already have the bigger stuff like crib, stroller, bouncer, etc. I would just do instructions on certain clothes, diapers and bottles.

Good Luck with the second baby

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J.M.

answers from New York on

Well we are about to have baby #2 and we only had the one shower for baby one. Like you said, you already have everything you need for baby #2, so you don't technically even need a shower. I tend to think that a lot of people would still view this kind of act as a little selfish (I don't think so.) However I can understand that you still want to celebrate the arrival of this baby, and the fact that he is the first boy. I would say have a brunch or luncheon and in the invite request that gifts are not necessary, or something like in leu of gifts a package of wipes or diapers would be appreciated instead, in all sizes. I think that route would be pretty well accepted. We are due in 3 more weeks, we did not even go this route just because of all the holidays, we have still been getting gifts for the new baby anyhow. Good luck, I know it's a difficult decision. OH! ...and congratulation's!

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D.D.

answers from New York on

Well if someone wants to throw you a shower then great!!! but it really isnt appropriate to ask..you can "mention" the idea to your mom, mother in law or best girlfriend and see if they roll with it but you cant really expect one. Are there any childrens consignment shops near you? You can really find some great things at them...most childrens shops are very picky about what they take in...good luck!

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A.J.

answers from Albany on

Proper etiquette states that showers only be given for first child & first marriage. I agree. You even said it yourself that you have everything, so why would you need one.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

A.

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N.S.

answers from New York on

I did! I had a smaller, more intimate shower for the 2nd baby. I feel that each child is special and should be celebrated :-)

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

I have always felt that a shower for a second child, no matter the sex, was tacky. The only circumstances in which it is not is if you are having children about 10 years apart. If you have friends who want to give you a shower and everyone is ok with it then I guess that's ok. Giving your own shower for a second child is definately not ok.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Haha, I am going through the exact same thing. My daughter will be 3 in April and we're due for a boy in the beginning of May. My friend wants to throw me a baby shower so I'm letting her. :) But I think it's acceptable in cases like ours because it's not like you have everything you need. Almost everything you own is pink and probably covered in one princess or another.

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D.B.

answers from New York on

Ofcourse! All babies should be celebrated. If you think its not cool to have 2 showers, have a tea party or a diaper and onsies shower. You can never have too many of those. I think its not fair to expect big ticket items like cribs and car seats the second time round but having a shower for the second baby is absolutely ok.
Don.

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J.F.

answers from Albany on

After 2 boys I was so happy to be carrying a girl, and my mother and sisters had a "Pink Party" for me, which was a low-key luncheon for just us (not a full blown shower) and they gave me some cute clothes for the baby, since we also had all the big stuff already. It was a really special way to welcome a new girl into a family of strong women.

But I would agree that traditionally, and with only 3 years in between, a second shower is a bit much to ask of extended family and friends. People will want to send something after your son is born, and the really thoughtful people will remember your daughter then, too.

Best of luck to you!
-J.

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R.G.

answers from Syracuse on

I have 4 Children I had 3 girls then a boy. I had a babyshower with my 4th cause he was a boy. Everyone was instructed to buy clothes from NB to 24 months and diapers. My mother in law explained to them we had everything else. It went very well. My son is 13 months now. Everyone enjoyed them self at the baby shower. I told everyone I didn't want one but my mother in law bless her heart said no you are having one. She is one of the proper woman that you make sure you do thank you card for the wedding and after the shower and things and she said that there isn't anything wrong with have another one because it is a boy. Congrats on having a son. And good luck.

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D.B.

answers from Glens Falls on

" They " say it isn't proper , but ya know what? Who Cares?
I had a boy seven years after my daughter was born, my mother told me not to expect a shower blah blah, but my inlaws felt that since it was a different gender, and their first grandchild, they wanted to have a shower. I think it's really up to your family and friends, if someone wants to throw you a shower, thats wonderful!! Anyone who doesn't like the idea or agree with it, won't come, no big deal.
Best of luck

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A.B.

answers from Syracuse on

i only was given 2 showers for my first girl. i then had 2 more girls. i never got another shower but rec'd gifts for each newborn.
i was under the impression its customary to have a shower if you are having a child of a different sex. but talk to your family. if you need boy stuff i am sure someone would be willing to help you out. or if you feel weird about it you know people do give gifts when they come visit. i am sure you can get some outfits and whatnot that way.
congrats!
A.

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D.W.

answers from New York on

I've never heard of having another baby shower especially if your kids are only 3 years apart.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

If someone wants to make you a shower, they can do that. Typically if there is a shower for a 2nd baby, people aren't bringing costly gifts and it's often a smaller/more casual affair. Sometimes if there's a shower for a subsequent baby of the opposite sex, it will be primarily gifts of clothing for that sex of baby. I know of several moms having a 2nd baby who had a nice luncheon with the ladies, and it was a "diaper shower" so something very inexpensive in terms of a gift.

Although you may want to have boy clothing on hand, most likely the people who would give you a gift will send one after the baby is born, and since they know you have the typical baby equipment, you will likely get boy clothes as baby gifts.

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J.M.

answers from New York on

I did!! Woohooo!! I see it like this...3 years or more, then you need one and new sex then yes you need one. Those fertile Mertle's that pop them out every 1.5 years can fend for themselmves. You have the perfect age gap too by the way. Just watch her carefully with the baby. She will want to help a little too much! (all girls do it) My daughter (3.5 at the time) Had my son (1 week) on the floor in the time it took me to go pee. He didn't get hurt but I had to watch her like a hawk and still do. They are now going to be 5 and 15 months. Good luck, have your cake and eat it too!!

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K.S.

answers from New York on

Hi S.,
We are about to have baby #2 and also had to confront the shower/gift issues. In my family and where I grew up, it would be considered greedy to have another shower, so I was uncomfortable when a friend from where I now live asked if we had a registry set up for #2. We don't know the sex of our baby, and some other moms had been asking this friend what could they get for us, since they are not sure if we'd need new baby clothes. They wanted some concrete guidance.

Although we didn't need much, our 1st is still not quite 2 and still using the crib, changing table, etc so I did have to set up a second nursery (new linens, etc)--so I established a new registry and told my immediate family and the local friend to let those who inquire know that there is a registry. I also want the new baby to have stuffed animals and a few toys of his/her own that are not hand-me-downs, and my oldest is very excited to have a new baby but is not yet ready to part with many of his "baby toys"--every time I move something into the baby's room, it invariably ends up back in his room! So I also told the friend and my immediate family that personal "loveys" and small toys/ stuff like that would be appreciated. And I hope that if people want to give us gifts (which I don't really expect), they will give us gift certificates (like for Babies R Us or the AmEx/ Mastercard ones) or cash that we can put into college savings, since there's very little "stuff" that we need (but there's no non-tacky way to express that preference, so it remains a hope rather than something I've formally communicated).

Hope this is helpful to you!

K.

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K.N.

answers from New York on

That's tough. So many people think you should only have 1 shower. After all, how much can ask people to give you. Then again, having the first boy is really important and it would be nice to celebrate. I have a similar situation right now and my sister has decided not to throw me a shower. Instead, she is going to throw a sprinkle. Smaller, less elaborate, etc.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

I'm also pregnant with #2 (CONGRATULATIONS!) and someone has offered to throw me a shower. I won't turn it down. I have moved since my 2.5 year old dd and have an entirely new set of friends who never came to any showers for dd, which makes me feel it is "okay".

I'm not sure what my friend plans to do as a theme or anything... but I have heard of people doing for 2nd and 3rd children, an "essentials" shower, asking people to bring diapers, baby soap, lotions... those type of things.... just an idea.

I don't necessarily think it's appropriate to ask someone to have a shower for you, but if someone offers... or picks up on hints (as pp suggested) then roll with it. It's been over 3 years since your friends have celebrated a new birth for you... so why not?

HTH

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H.S.

answers from New York on

Hello Stephanie!
Congratulations on expecting your second child! My friend Toni just had her second boy this month and did indeed have a "Sprinkle" last month for things that she definitely needed even though she was having another boy. My husband thought the idea was cute and suggested that when we have our second child, whether it be a boy or a girl, that we have a diaper shower. So maybe calling it something different won't upset the traditional people who don't believe in more than one baby shower, as much. I hope this helps.
Sincerely,
H. S.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

No. Baby showers are for first babies only! The only
way a shower for #2 would be appropriate is if there is a
significant difference in age, i.e. 10 years since last
baby.

C.S.

answers from New York on

I sure did have a shower for baby #2. My friends insisted on it. I didnt register though. I had a boy first and a girl second. I didnt need that much. So, I didnt feel registering was appropriate.

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M.P.

answers from New York on

Hi S.: Yes, have another one for your boy. It is a time for celebrating with family and friends the arrival of your new baby. I had a baby shower for myfifth child, who was my second boy and had a wonderful time. Plus you get blue outfits for the baby. Enjoy and good luck, M. P.

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D.

answers from New York on

I have the first girl on my mom's side (I also have a son whose 3). I didn't have a second baby shower. And I didn't expect anyone to buy gifts for the new baby. The whole purpose of a baby shower is to buy the big stuff that's really expensive that is to much for you to afford it all. You know the swing, carseats, exersaucer... I kind of find it rude to have a shower for someone who already had one. Unless their far apart, which yours aren't. My aunt was surprised we weren't having a shower for my daughter, but I didn't and I don't regret it. I did tell my mom to tell people if they'd like to buy a gift I wouldn't turn it down, but it wasn't expected.

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T.S.

answers from New York on

HI there, Not many people have another shower even if it is for a differest sex of baby. People will get you boy clothes once they find out anyway. And don't forget the hand me downs if you have nephews or friends with boys. But I have heard of people having a "sprinkle" :). We had one for my friend who had another baby but everyone brought meals. A giant cooler was set up there and we each brought 1-3 freezable meals for her family and it was wonderful. (they also had a giant freezer in their basement to accomidate it all). Enough for them not to have to worry about dinners for a while. They appreciated that even more than getting baby stuff since they already had everything. I am expecting my 3rd and believe me I wish someone would do that for me! :)

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