Baby Sleeping Alone

All i can really say is that she is used to you sleeping in the room with her and she can feel it when you are not in there. That is just like a smaller baby staying the night at someones house. They will not sleep good because it's like they can feel that they are not at home or something i really don't know. It will take time for her to sleep alone through the night in her own room. That is like my son, he is 3 almost 4 and he has slept with me since birth and now he has his own room with a toddler bed and he will not sleep through the night in there either he will come get in the bed with either me or his dad and then he will sleep like a baby. I am kinda going through the same thing right now too.

My son is almost 12 and he still tries to crawl in bed with us a few times a week. He is old enough now I just tell him how uncomfortable it is, ecspecially since I am 8 1/2 months pregnant! It is important that you and your husband sleep in the same bed at night, I would go to a little dollar store and rack up on cheap little kid toys. Put the toys in a clear bin on top of the fridge. Have a talk with her about being a big girl. Let her know if she makes it threw the night by herself she will get to pick one of the toys in the morning. She will look forward to the reward and will eventually sleep all night in her room. Hope this helps!

My pediatrician told me to put my son in his crib and let him cry it out. At this young age, he won't hold anything against me. I did it in stages. I would let him cry and if it went on for over an hour then I would go in there and pat him on the back to let him know I was there. I would stay by his side until he fell asleep and then I would go to my bed. After a few days of doing this, he sleeps fine in his bed. As a matter of fact, he doesn't like to sleep with me anymore unless it is for a nap! Start doing it on a Friday night so you can nap during the day on Saturday. Once you start, you have to keep going forward, never backwards. My son will be 2 in June.

When my child was small and didn't want to sleep alone -- although it was hard -- I did not give in. He cried and cried for the first few nights (and he had a mighty set of lungs); however, don't start giving in now or by the time your child is a teenager, they will .... well, let's just say by then they are a bigger and smarter. My feelings are you're the parent and your goal in life is to get your children ready to "fly". I gave him lots of love and attention throughout the day and made him feel important.

This was an even harder task for me since my son didn't come home from the hospital until he was 3.5 months old due to prematurity.

A little about me: That child is now going to be 26 and an independent soul. We are so very proud of his accomplishments. All of this tempered by ADD ...

I have the same problem. I have a 7 month old. She caught a cold last month so I started sleeping in her room when she was sick and now it is so convenient to stay in there. She still wakes up about 2 times a night to nurse. I am trying to "wean" her of me sleeping in there. Now I only stay in there for half the night (from 4am to 6am when she wakes up). Last night I didn't have to sleep in there at all. Hang in there, you will have success if you take it slow and be patient. Good luck!

It sounds to me like you could use the Ferber method. It was originated by Dr. Richard Ferber. We used it with my son when he was little and it worked like a charm. It is hard at first, because it is hard to listen to your child cry, but if you are consistent and can deal with it, then you could be sleeping in your own bed and through the night in a WEEK!

Just google "the ferber method" and you will get lots of information on it. Good luck.

Watch Supernanny. I have tried her technique with several of the children I nanny for and my own 15 month old son. It was hard for a couple of nights but he know goes down at 7:30 with his silkie in his hands and a sound machine on the ocean sounds and sleeps all night long. If you don't have a sound machine invest in one it was my best purchase. We have wood floors, 2 cats and 2 large Weimariners who walk around all night long and with the sound machine going he sleeps through everything except a door being slammed in the living room. Good luck and don't give up or in.

We went through "sleep training" with my son when he was about 8 months old. The first night we put him to bed when he was almost asleep, but not quite. Of course he cried, so we let him cry for 5 minutes and then went and checked on him. That's all we did the first night. We rocked him to sleep after that. The next night we put him to bed and he cried. So we checked on him after 5 minutes. We comforted him and put him back to bed. Then when he cried we let him cry for 10 minutes. I think he fell asleep by the 7 or 8 minute mark. The next night, he was asleep within 3 minutes. Had he cried, we would have continued the pattern. 5 minutes, then check on him, 10 minutes, then check on him, 15 minutes and so on. I was still nursing at the time, so I still had to get up with him once a night. But soon, he didn't need to nurse at night and we had to do the same thing at night. Before long, he was sleeping through the night. He's almost 19 months now and sleeps pretty good. We've had some bumps in the road, mainly because my husband loves to let him fall asleep in his arms! But now, if he cries, it only takes one night of letting him cry for a few minutes to getting him back on track. It's the toughest thing to do, but it works!

hello there. I saw a familiar story once on that show "super nanny". This couple also had a toddler who would not sleep because the child had always slept in bed with mom and dad. The nanny told them to put the child to bed and if she cried to just let her cry. The first night she cried... oh did she cry. I think it was about two hours before she went to sleep. But the parents did not get up to get her. The second night she cried a bit less. By the third night she only cried a few minutes before she was fast asleep and slept all night. The nanny says it shouldnt take more than three nights of this "tough love" to get your child to sleep the night through. I know it is hard to listen to your child cry, but this story popped into my head when I read your post so I just thought I'd share. At 15 months your daughter has you by the hand, she knows exactly how to get her way. By crying she knows you will stay in the room with her. If you can weather through a few hard nights, this may be worth it.

blessings to you and yours
D.

You have got to do the tough job of not sleeping in the room with your child, but in the bed with you man. Your husband will appreciate the hardship of your baby crying an dhving to put her back to bed several times a night compared to sleeping alone. I would not let my man sleep alone. Perhaps if he put her to bed some too, You cna take turns.
You may be creating other problems with your spouse in addition to your child not wanting to sleep alone. You are the adult. Men are big babies too and I am sure he likes the feel of having you lying next to him. This is definitely true if when you are in bed with him the two of you snuggle. Don't make him choose.

i am probably in the minority here - but i am not a fan of cio. it just went against my personal mother instinct. here's a really interesting study - http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/04.09/ChildrenNee...

i can completely relate to being sleep deprived and wanting my child to sleep on his own - but i couldn't do it cold turkey so to speak. we used dr. jay gordon's night weaning first - as oliver was nursing still. and then we moved him to a toddler bed at 18 months. there are so many ways to connect to your husband while not letting your child cio. some kids just need more nurturing. i have friends who ferberized the first baby with no problems - but their second just couldn't. like i said - all babies are dif't - so what works for one will not work for all.

i think you have to do what feels right to you - please email me if you want more support or advice for not using the ferber method or a more gentle approach using cio (such as elizabeth pantley's 'The No-Cry Sleep Solution: Gentle Ways to Help Your Baby Sleep Through the Night')
here's the amazon link - http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Throug...

Hey M., I, too, had many problems getting my now two year old on a sleeping pattern. We moved three times in less than one year...and across state lines, not just around the neighborhood. THe routine is a MUST for night time. I started differentiating day from night as soon as I brought her home from the hospital. We do dinner, some play time, a bath, some night reading, a lullaby and then it's in the crib! Like it or not...unless they are ill of course...no crying it out with a fever...too dangerous for dehydration.

It will take time, but in the long run, you will be rested and a better mommy for setting some much needed boundaries in your little ones life. My husband had to help me with this a LOT in the beginning when she would scream like a banshee! But with patience and love, you will teach them to sleep as they need to, not want to, and you will end up with a well rested and happy baby! Good luck!

What about your husband doing the cio ?? Sometimes kids respond differently to different parents!

Congrats on your daughter! My son is almost eight months and STILL in my bed and will probably be there until the age of one. However, you are off to a good and brave start. At least you have tackled the part of letting her sleep in her OWN bed...that's the most important start. Girlfriend, I really don't know what to tell you. Maybe, just maybe, you n=might want to wait until she gets a little older before you put her in her own space. Just my opinion. But hey, what can I say? My son is still in my bed!

It is so natural to want to sleep with our children or even be close to them at night. But, I must say you have created your own situation here. I don't fault your husband for wanting to sleep with you. You have to look at who is in control here. Our children are beatiful and loving people with a will! We forget that even the smallest have the ability to control situations with thier emotions. If you don't have a bedtime routine, this is a good time to start one. Starting an hour before she goes bed with a bath, pjs, toothbrushing, reading a book, and cuddling. Make sure it is the same everynight, that will bring security as well. Then put her to bed. I would begin with you laying in the twin bed the first night, the next night sleeping on the floor next to the bed and the following nights inching your way to the door until you are out of the room and into your own bed with your hubby. DO NOT talk to her when she wakes up in the night, (that will be a hard one), pretend you are still sleeping and let her work it out on her own. (this may be crueling and take a while but necessary to the process). Even if she gets out of bed and lies next to you, whatever she does, do not wake up! She will begin to learn to comfort herself and not have YOU do it.(I can't stress how important that is!) Then after you are in your own bed continue the process of letting her comfort herself when she wakes up. Do not go in and comfort her in the middle of the night. These precious little ones have ENDURANCE!! But, if you are consistent and stick to the plan it will work! You can do this!! Make sure your husband knows how it works to so in your moments of weakness he can help you stay strong and consistent. You will soon enjoy a loving nights sleep with your husband and your little one will sleep too! Blessings, A.

Hey M., I went through the same thing but on a smaller scale. The best thing I can tell you is to keep at putting her in her own bed. It will probably take awhile but she will eventually get used to it. My doctor told me to not give in to my child's demands. You are the parent and you make the rules, not the other way around. And believe me it is a very difficult thing to do. It will break your heart but it is better for your child in the end.If your child does wake up in the night make sure you put her back in her own bed and then go to yours.

E. M.

How did she sleep in a bassinet till she was 8 months old? They are only supposed to sleep there till they are 4 months or 15 lbs. My son outgrew the bassinet before 4 months, and since my friend lost a baby to a bassinet accident at a daycare, when it has a limit, I pay attention!

As far as her sleeping the night in her room alone...we are moving my 11 month old out of our room now and in with his brothers, and I just play the radio softly and I have a routine with him, so his routine has never changed, just where his playpen is has changed, so I guess that helped. Since she sleeps in there, just wants you there, just assure her mommy will be back soon. (and you will...it may be at 7am) Don't get her up and rock her, it takes double or triple the time to lay her back down and start all over...trust me. Be firm. If its bed time, its bedtime. I cannot stay and rub my son's back cause he will want me to pick him up, and so he will cry a minute, but he soothes himself with his bottle and goes to sleep.

Hi M.,
I have to agree with Allison and say that Allison was very nice to even suggest you stay in her room for that many nights. Our little ones are so precious but as she said we have to remember who is in control. First make up your mind you are going to do this, then as Allison said establish a night time routine, even try soft music -- anything relaxing. If she's in a crib, then you don't have to worry about her getting up. Allison says stay in there with her for a few nights. I'd go cold turkey myself but that's just me. She will cry, she will holler, but she'll stop and fall asleep. I wish you well.

I have three grown children. Let her cry!!!! Do it on the weekend when you can maybe get a nap during the day (when she naps). It won't take long!!! I promise.