Baby Won't Let Me Leave His Sight!!!! Eeeeeeeks!!!!

My oldest went through a stage like this too, but it passed fairly quickly. Have you tried a sling? You can do a whole lot with a 6mo old attached to you with a sling!

K.

Being a mom can be difficult but it has its perks.

At his age he is beginning to realize that at times people disappear, he has no way of knowing that they are in another room and will be right back. He just knows you are gone and he can not see you.

Play peek aboo with him a lot. This teaches the fact that although he can not see you for a second, you do reappear with smiles on your face.

Also, if you have to leave him for a few minutes, you can still sing or talk to him loud enough for him to hear you. This teaches him that although he can not see you, he can still hear you, so you must still be there.

On another note, by holding him everytime he cries, you reinforce his fears. You teach him that when you are within site your job is to hold him. when you are gone, no one is there to hold him. He must get used to the idea that you can be near and not hold him. This takes some work, and is not something that will happen over night.

I would suggest having periods of time when he is laying on a blanket in the floor, or maybe in his play pen. Be in the same room with him, talking to your 4 year old, or reading a book, so he can hear you voice. But put him a place that is not as close to you as he would normally be. As he becomes more and more comfortable with your distance you can increase it some.

Another thing to consider, is what your job as his mother is. It is not your job to eliminate his cries. It is your job to do what is best for him. Learning to be alone at times is what is best for him. Learning to understand that life continues outside of his view is what is best for him. Do not let yourself feel guilty if he is crying. It is a difficult concept for some babies to get, but he will get it.

This is actually very typical behavior. Usually about this age a baby will start to have some separation anxiouty. My niece was attached to her mothers hip for a long time but she was worse then most. Part of it is just personality. If your older son has a more outgoing personality, he might not have had such a problem going through this stage. He will grow out of this stage, especially as he becomes more mobile. Encourage him to crawl and move on his own. This will help because he will be more secure if he knows he can get too you when you walk away. Just be patient with the little guy and keep reassuring him. And yes, sometimes it is ok just to let him cry for a minute or two if need be.

I liked Sherrie G's explaination but I would also throw out the option of wearing your baby. There are some of us out here who just wear them (there are various carriers/slings - a blanket/piece of material.....) and you, son and baby don't have to deal with crying/ screaming - that's just stressful for everyone. I personaly find baby wearing a lot more peaceful and effective for a mom on the go; as I am one also!! :)

My son was very attatched to me also. Not to your extent but I must give 2 suggestions. Maybe consider getting a sling or a carrier of some sort so your hands are free until he grows out of it. Also my son did really well in a Johnny Jump Up a little bouncer that hangs in the doorway and I used to let him watch a Brainy Baby DVD and he loved it. I know watching tv for babies is supposed to be a no no but it worked for me. Devon is 2 and half now and his is very clingy. I have to say I don't know if he will ever grow out of it. He has to be in the same room as me all the time, he never plays by himself,(unless he's pooping) and if his dad is home its worse. Devon is SOO very smart though. He speaks better than average 4 year olds, he knows all of his shapes, colors, numbers to 10 and can identify 1/3 of the letters of the alphabet. So tv worked well for me. I must say the physical aspect of the jumper and the visual of the dvd was enough to keep him occupied. For at least 20 minutes. I had him watch it 2 times a day. Once for my shower or laundry and once for dinner making time. I hope this works for you.

Hello! My two-year old son is the same. The only thing since he's mobile he can assure himself that I'm only a few steps away. Since you son obviously cannot do that, I recommend playing peek-a-boo with him. Also set him in a swing or bouncy-seat and hide around the corner and peek at him, then go behind the corner and ask,"Where's Mommy?" then reappear and say, "Here I am!!" Do the same with his own name. Try to do this in a high-pitched voice. For some reason, babies love that. You may want to put your other son next to him so that they both can get some fun at the same time.

As for holding him all the time; you're correct. You don't need to hold him all the time. Try lying down on the floor with him while you talk to him. Put some type of mobile over him for him to look at. Each time you do this, change your position to sitting up while you're next to him. Then sit on the couch the next time. Then try standing up. Then try from across the room. It shouldn't take more than a week for each position. It may seem like a long time, but just think of him being able to entertain himself as your motivation.

I sure hope this helps. It seems to me you've already gotten lots of great advice. Try what you think will work, because all kids are different.

Best of luck. Here's to your "freedom"!! ls

I agree with Sherri,
He is not nearly as miserable as he sounds like when he is crying. That's just what babies do.

When I had my first baby the hospital sent me a visiting nurse to check on us because I was only 18. She told me the best advice ever and I use this with my daycare babies still. She said to hold the baby, talk to them and play with them for just about 15 -20 minutes. Then check his diaper, make sure it's not time to feed him/her and then put the baby down. No matter what, don't go back for 20 minutes. If he falls asleep, leave him. If he is playing or cooing to himself leave him for a few more minutes. If the baby is still crying after 20 minutes pick him/her up and start again. During the 20 minutes the baby is crying you can clean or rest. You could put the baby in another room, make sure the baby is in a safe crib with no choke hazards and then just leave the baby with the door closed. It's not as hard if you don't have to hear it so loud. The only thing I do differently is that the moment I hear the baby stop I peak in the room to make sure the baby is ok. I'm a little freaky about the fear of the baby possibly stopping breathing. I'm definitely going to buy one of those monitors for my new grand baby!

Suzi

Hi, it sounds like your life is lovely, just tiring. If your baby can go to bed and sleep through the night, he has your number during the day. The fact that he sleeps on his own with no problems, I believe, proves he does not have a health/behavioral concern, it just seems like he knows he will be picked up and he is "conditioned" to cry until he gets his way. If his crib is his "safe" place where he goes to bed peacefully, then I would try allowing him a favorite "lovey/toy/stuffed animal/book" and his quiet place to calm and soothe himself. That way, you and your 4 yr. old won't have to be in a stressful position while the baby learns to "self-calm". It is a mechanism that will be crucial for him in later years, even as a toddler. It may be a tough 2-3 days and possibly a good set of headphones for you and 4 yr old will allow you some peace, but it will stop, once he learns his "conditioning"
will no longer work on mom. I'm no expert/Dr. but am a mom of 2 beautiful children, 8yo. girl, 5yo. boy. My daughter and I went through a very difficult time when she was a baby/toddler and I had to learn the hard way, before mamma source, hee. Anyhow, you sound well-balanced and your home sounds like a peaceful,loving/nurturing environment for a healthy/happy family. Good luck persevering through, just remember, he is a welcome addition to "your" home/family, you get the blessing of being in charge/control. He will respect you in his later years for that and he will learn you are in charge which is a very "safe" forum for healthy physical, mental growth!!!
Blessings for some peace,
R.

Leigh,

I completely understand what you are going through right now. My daughter who is now 9 did that. I just had to let her cry, as much as it hurt me to do that it was the only way to break her of what she was doing. Obviously, you cant hold your child 24/7, even though I'm sure we would all love to. You have got to set some rules with your child now while they are at a young age. Trust me from personal experience, it may feel like you are doing something wrong but as long as the child is okay while crying then just let him cry. P.S. Do it at little intervals, dont just let him cry for 45 min-1 hr.

good luck girl. i think all babies go through the separation anxiety phase, but some get it worse than others. it might be because daddy "disappears" and "reappears" so much that it's more pronounced in your lil man. regardless, just try to stay cool and ride it out. try some of the techniques listed in here if you want to, but realize that he's not deliberately trying to drive you crazy (YET, so enjoy that while it lasts!) and it's just how babies react sometimes. the more worked up you get the more he'll feel that and the more anxious he'll get. unfortunately with daddy being gone so much i have to say, i might get a sitter for a few hours and get me a break, if it was me. or when daddy comes home leave the baby, or both kiddos, with him for awhile. you deserve it! and the more he sees you walking away, the faster he'll get used to the idea that you come back. which is all he's worried about. of course with as extreme as it is, it might just be about the attention at this point. either way i would try to just ignore it and move on. at his age he's not deliberately annoying you. good luck, i know it's hard, we went through something like this too.

Ellie just went through a quick phase like this. I left her in her saucer (or wherever she was) and told her in a happy voice that I couldn't help her while she was throwing a fit (this is EXACTLY what it was, too). She stopped crying shortly after and I praised her over and over and then picked her up. She's fine now!

My baby was the same way. He is now 18 months old and is still very attached to me. We did use a sling, as well as a Baby Bjorn when he was smaller and I have an Ergo Carrier now that he is bigger. My husband travels every single week, frequently Sun afternoon-Fri at midnight, and is also often out of the country for a month at a time. I know exactly how frustrating it is to be at home with a screaming child. The lay him down and let him scream it out method was completely ineffective with him. He would scream for over an hour, until he was purple. Our pediatrician has told us he is advanced for his age and simply gets bored when he's not stimulated. He was doing everything months ahead of the "normal" in the baby books. Thankfully his crying gradually decreased as he got older and he doesn't even scream in the car anymore. Aside from carrying him, my only suggestion is to try to take a deep breath and be thankful he is healthy and wants you to hold him. Our son is still a cuddler but I do admit I sometimes miss nursing him and holding him close. Enjoy the journey, it passes quickly...but sometimes you have to take a deep breath and remind yourself to enjoy it.

I think you got some great advice. My 11 month old daughter does the same thing. I just wanted to tell you that my "Parents as Teachers" was over yesterday and told me that this is a sign of being very smart! Good Luck!