I have a five week old little girl. She is sleeping really good at night, and only waking up about twice. During the day, however, she won't sleep without being held or carried in the sling. She screams at the top of her lungs until I pick her up. I would love to hold her all day, but I have two other children and cleaning to do. I am so stressed and starting to feel like a horrible mom. Not only is this affecting me, but it is starting to affect everyone in my home. My husband wonders why I am not happy when he gets home and why I don't feel like laughing and joking around. My other children are starting to be clingy to me as well. I am just hoping that this guilt doesn't turn into depression. I don't really have anyone to talk to about these feelings. I have tried to talk to my husband but it is hard for him to understand it. I just really want to find a way to help me and my baby. I need her to sleep for a least a little while so I can spend a few minutes to myself. I feel guilty for complaining though, just because she does do so well during the night. I love my children so much and just want them to grow up feeling loved and taken care of. I need advice!!!
I just wanted to say thank you for all the support and help. It is nice to know I have somewhere to turn for answers. Things are starting to get better. I have started swaddling her tighter, and I have also stopped eating dairy. The combination of these two things have made her sleep a little more. We are still just taking it one day at a time. I hope to look back at these days and think that it wasn't that hard!!! Thanks again for the help!
Make sure she is swaddled and I put my son in one of those floor swings that really is kind of like cuddling to them. Not sure the name of it, but it would go a good five to ten minutes and had music and my son would fall asleep in that during the day until he outgrew it.
We had a colicky one and watching the video "The Happiest Baby on the Block" was a lifesaver! It's by Dr. Harvey Karp. He's been on either Oprah or Dr. Phil several times. The swaddling was a miracle cure for us. He made it so simple. I think most libraries carry the video. My cousin read the book and was very unimpressed. The video is about 45 minutes I think, but we had peace about 10 minutes into it.
We had a lot of luck with the papason swing. Instead of just the forward motion it will also go side to side, and when they are little, they seem to like that more. I did notice a new style tho at Target that looked really nifty. The swing saved us with both our kiddos! But I'm sure even without a swing this stage too shall pass :) Have you tried your vaccuum or one of those womb sounds things? I really wish you the best of luck!
Hi, my baby is the same way. Except that she is now 6 months old. The only thing that I can think of to help you get through is just try to remember that your baby loves you sooo much, that she can't bear to be without you. I also have an 8 year old. It has been really hard on him, and there are big time jealousy issues. But, I really do try to cling to the idea that my 8 year old doesn't think it is cool to hug me in front of his friends. And, my baby she wants me around all the time. I know with my baby it is the fact that she doesn't like to be alone. It has helped that she has gotten older and my son can entertain her while I throw a load of clothes in the washer. It really is frustrating, I can totally relate.
My first baby was the fussy one, and the book that helped us was The Fussy Baby Book by Dr. William Sears. You are not a horrible mom, and your house doesn't have to be clean. Right now your baby (and other children) need you to respond to their needs. Try to relax and not be too hard on yourself. I know how draining it is to have a fussy baby so try to take a break when your husband is home. (Go for a walk, take a bath, go for a short drive, etc.) Explain to him that you are doing your best but that you need a break and you need his help during this time of transition. Everyone is adjusting to having a new baby in the house. Plus your body is still recovering from being pregnant and giving birth! Please believe me that things will get better. And also please let us know how you're doing.
Here are a few different directions to try. I had similar issues with both my boys
Talk to your pediatrician. We had issues where our 1 month old son was crying unless he was in our arms... Turns out he has a milk protein allergy. Everytime he'd poop or pass gas he's scream. In general, he wasn't feeling well and only wanted to be held for the comfort. Our pediatrician checked his diaper and found trace amounts of blood in his stool to confirm the diagnosis - a bout with coliltis. I'm breast feeding, so I'm currently on a Dairy Free Diet and WOW what a difference in my son's behavior.
My other son wanted to be held too, so I'd hold him until he'd fallen asleep (while sitting in bed) and then laid down with him in my arms. Very slowly, released him until he was asleep next to me on the bed. Then I've made a border of pillows... and queitly left. It took me about a week to get to this point. I think part of his issue was being cold and liking the swaddling. I was never good at Swaddling, so he always napped with a blanket.
Other days, I'd use a snuggly (or some type of front or hip carrier). I couldn't bend over, but could still get some stuff done with the use of two hands, washing dishes, folding laundry, sweeping vaacuming.
I've also called upon friends/babysitters to come and just hold my child for 2 or 3 hours while I spent time with my other son or cleaned house.
As some of the other mothers stated, the children are far more important than a clean house. My kitchen floor will go months before I wash it (I'll sweep and vaacum it or spot clean it with a wipe in the meantime). The only place I make sure gets done is the bathrooms and laundry. Everything else can wait. I'll run laundry through during the day, and sit and fold it while vegetating in front of the TV either with my kids or after they are asleep. *Or ask your husband help to fold and put away. Mine helps out where he can, but I have to ask!
Best of luck
It's hard when we feel like we can't get anything done. With my fourth baby, my husband would ask (nicely), "So what did you do today?" And the response, half the time, was "Grow the baby." To me, good moms hold and feed their babies...sometimes ALL day. Hang in there!
I do have some ideas, too. Do you have any good friends that can come help? With two of my babies, I had a friend (different each time) that would come do my floors or clean my kitchen once a week as they were able, while I sat near by feeding the baby and we could chat. So I was able to socialize, take care of the baby, and was blessed with a fleetingly tidy house. That always cheered me up.
After your baby falls asleep in the sling, try loosening it, and carefully setting your baby into a baby chair (vibrating or basic infant seat) and you carefully back out of the sling. The baby might continue sleeping if she's still snuggled and warm in the sling.
Try making a nest on the couch. I used to put two pillows from our bed on the end of the couch, then I could nestle the baby into the center of the pillows, so he still felt held. (Careful for obstructions with SIDs, etc.)
As soon as your smallest one is a bit older, maybe she will be able to lay on a blanket and watch her siblings play, or they can do puppet shows for her (or whatever) while you tidy. Good luck.
My daughter did the same thing when she was that age. She is my first so i was able to just hold her all day but i can see how that would be hard for you because of your other children. I would try putting her in a swing to see if that helps. You could also get a sleep positioner. It really holds your baby tightly in place which is what she likes that is way she wants you all day. Hope that helps. Hang in there.
