Newborn Always Crys and Wants to Be Held

You've got some great advice so far, and I also thought about swaddling the crying one extra tight. That might feel more like being held. Or maybe he's just lonely - he was always with his sister in the womb. The t-shirt idea is great, but maybe try something that his sister has worn too. Maybe he's missing her and you're carrying her scent with you.

you have some great advice but it made me stop and think since he is a twin. Have you been keeping him away from his sister? such as in different beds? If that is the case try keeping him as close to her as possible since he already knows her heartbeat and smell. at this age crying it out is ridiculus advice. They are way to young to self soothe. also maybe he has gas. try extra burping during feedings. I could handle a sling with my daughter due to backlabor. But she loved her swing or her bouncer. her bouncer had music and vibration. I did notice if I had it on vibrate and she hadn't burped good enough the vibration would help get it out.

good luck with your hands full. Do try to enlist some extra help especially the dad.

Wear him in a sling.

I would try swaddling, also look into a bouncer seat that has the vibration mode as that is a sensation some babies find very calming. All three of my babes had a sounds within the womb bear, I always thought it was cheesy ( but whatever works) Also it would not be my first choice but they have a lot of different styles of slings that you can "wear" your baby in. I think in time your baby will out grow some of this "neediness" I just don't believe in letting a newborn "cry it out" at this young an age, being a twin they are naturally used to being close to someone. Hope you find something that helps keep the sanity. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
B.

Front baby carrier! Life saver!

I know sometimes the baby sling helps, the swing helps ( they have the ones that go sideways for infants now) and as much as you can sit and hold him and see if he needs to burp and I found walking and patting and singing helps them if they're tired. Sometimes infants get over tired and then will cry for hours. If over stimulated they do the same. So see if he just needs a quiet walk/bounce/pat and quiet singing and then sleep. Are you swaddling him? That helps a lot. I'd love to come and help as this is fun to me. Our daughter had twins who are now 1 yr old and this part was hardest for her too with two babies and older child. You need a grandma to help you out. Do you have family close? Or a friend who will just come and sing to a little infant?
It will get better. I know at this point you are tired, worn out and have another little boy to care for. If you can find him something to do by you while you care for the babies he should think he's helping you and he will be. Could anyone help out with playing with your 2 1/2 yr old for part of the day?
Hold the babies close and try to think that soon they will be out of this stage and you will look back one day and cherish they hard days. Even if you have to sit more than you like now. Take the time to enjoy even these times. I know how hard that is to do.

A baby sling worked for me. I also got one of those portable beds that can stay in your bed and lined it with a t-shirt I wore for a day for a familiar scent for my daughter. Sounds far stretched but I felt stretched, couldn't put her down to go to the bathroom and slept with her in my arms for a week.

Babies need to be held and loved on. It is temporary. Soon your crying one will be an active little person who likes to play with his toys. Enjoy it while you can.

But if they crying seems to be persistant, take him to the doctor to make sure nothing is wrong.

Also there is nothing wrong with putting him in the swing or laying him on a mat and letting him cry for a bit. He needs you love but he also needs to learn at an early age that he can't cry all the time to get what he wants. At this age, I say more cuddling and less crying =)

You are a good mother. Don't feel guilty about not spending enough time with your 2 1/2 year old. Read to him, snuggle with him when you can. Otherwise, he can learn to play on his own while you are in the same room with him. When the babies are asleep, or at least the crying one is asleep, make sure to spend extra time with your 2 year old.

And make sure you get plenty of rest. If you need help, ask for it. Family and friends will lend a helping hand.

Good Luck =)

I'm going to ditto the sling. That way you can carry him with your hands free. Differant slings work well for differant mamas. I personally use a ring sling, like a Maya wrap. I worked great when DD was and infant and I still use it now that she is 7 months old.

Holding your newborn is one of the most important stages in his early life he is wanting the only thing he know's his MAMA yes it is frustrating @ times but it is short lived hold him while you attend to the toddler read to all the babies on the couch @ this time I say it's time to get creative while taking care of the twin babies yourself & your toddler.Let your hubby intervien as much as possible cause you can't do it all by yourself I know I have tried & still try everyday.Invest in a baby sling put baby in & he'll be happy.I don't like to give advice on putting baby down or using a swing (unless it is necessary) not until they are over 4 months old you can't spoil a newborn they need their MAMA!!!Good Luck you have ayour hands full as all of us do with children but you will learn what will work for you

Put on some music, keep it up kind of loud. Pick him up as much as much as you can, every 20 minutes or so for about 5 minutes. Stand up, rock back and forth and kiss on him. If you sit, he'll get used to the idea that you are going to drop everything for him all the time. It's not fair to the other children or your husband for that matter. The rest of the time you will just have to get used to him crying. I know it sounds harsh. But he will adjust over time and the world isn't going to cater to him his whole life. Baby wearing isn't going to help you when you have 2 other children. And the house gets bad real fast when it's not getting clean with a family of 5. This plan still only leaves 10-15 minute spurts of time to rinse and stack some dishes, fill a sink and soak them, deal with the other baby, put some laundry in or take some laundry out. Hang up the shirts and pants and the next time you'll get to the towels and things that won't wrinkle while waiting. In these little bursts of time, you can sweet one floor, organize one drawer, etc. It's easier to handle the crying if you tell yourself you need to finish just this one thing.

At the end of the day, when the house is clean, the 2 year old has had just a bit more of you, you've been on your feet and burned off some great calories, and the baby has gotten constant attention without the world stopping, you'll be happier. He'll get tired of the crying and in a few days he'll be used to the routine. He'll stretch out his quiet times a little bit and the crying will wear him out so that he sleeps very well when he does.

Wow! My ped told me with my two boys that for the 1st month or so of their lives whatever they want goes, so somehow I did manage to holdone of them all the time! craziness... If you don't have someone to come over and help you then if I were you I would call your local high school and ask to speak with the child developmemt teacher (if they offer this class) ask her to gather a list of girls who are interested in coming to your house to help you out either holding a baby or playing with your toddler for a few hours a day. You are right - you probably are going crazy! and with reason! get soem help in there stat. Good luck, [luckily] they grow up all too fast.

You can also try putting your little one in his carseat and rocking it, most newborns just don't adjust well to the 'lonely' feeling of the new world! The car seat, swing or you holding him helps him feel cradled as he felt in the womb. Or.. maybe he needs extra burping!

Good Morning B., Congratulations on your new little ones. Do you have baby swings? If not I would look for some. Some are around $30-$40.00, maybe find some at Twice New stores or Good Will etc.. If you can't find or afford these, how about a sister, mom, MIL, Cousin, Aunt etc coming to lend a hand a few hours a day?
Having one new born and a toddler can be exhausting, having twins plus the toddler can be overwhelming.

Even though you would like to hold him constantly (who wouldn't, so cuddly and sweet) you can't, really wouldn't be best for either of you in the long run.

God Bless your busy household, with joy, peace, smiles and giggles!!
K. Nana of 5

hello - thanks for your question - it brings back memories of 3 years ago - i was dealing with a similar situation with a very active 2.5 yo boy who simply would not "entertain himself" - wish i had let him watch more appropriate tv and let him be taken care of by trusted sitters. My husband did all he could when he was home from work - he should have taken off the full family medical leave that was available to him. He was very reluctant to accept help from his family - who were very willing to help. I wish I had ignored his concerned and invited them over more often. One of the girl twins was often crying and obviously having tummy pain after drinking formula. she was the smaller twin, and functionally a preemie at birth. I suspected GERD/reflux, or lactose intolerance. Simethicone drops for gas seemed to help. I used a Moby wrap, which is more secure for a small baby than a regular ring sling, and versatile enough to be used as either a front, side or back carrier - you can even carry 2 babies at once when they are small. putting the girls next to each other for sleeping was fine when I was watching them, but I would not do it if I was planning to sleep due to increased risk of SIds, Especially between the ages of 2-6 months, when sids risk is the highest. multiples and premies are at increased risk of sudden death while sleeping -other risk factors you control are removing any loose soft items from their sleep surface - (stuffed animals, blanket, mattress pad, bumper pads), using a firm sleep surface and do not fall asleep holding your baby or put them on the bed to sleep with you or husband. I have been there - swaddling should help the baby stay asleep longer - use a thin cotton blanket - not fleece b/c overheating is another risk factor for sids. also invite your church, workplace, any other moms you know to bring over food, do laundry and dishes, sweep, etc - it's wonderful to build a supportive community of adults who will be involved in your children's lives long-term.

My youngest was the same. I would put him in a baby bjorn (because he needed to be held upright... he would scream if I tried to cradle him) and cook for my almost 2-year-old. After breakfast, with the youngest having screamed the whole time, we would walk out the door to play outside. Then the baby actually was quiet. He would fall asleep in the sling, and I swaddled him tighter than i thought possible so he slept. Otherwise he would wake up screaming again!

I think my younger one needed to be held and to have a different environment. From a few days old, he was that way. Could that work for you? Have you tried? I know it is hard to go out with several small children, but it might be worth it for your sanity!

Hmmm have you tried a baby bjorn? Then he could be close but you could still move.

If you don't already, try swaddling. The trick is to get a square blanket bigger than you think you need (like over 30 inches across), fold one end down to create a straight edge where the baby's neck is, then tuck one corner over under the opposite side of the baby's body, and the second corner down to his feet and secure the end under the first corner so it's really tight. Arms should be inside the swaddle and it'll keep the baby feeling snug and protected, and keep from flailing arms and legs to wage or startle them when they're trying to relax.

My daughter loved this and the fast swinging/swaying in my arms along with the loudest "shhhhh" I could muster...or the vacuum cleaner!