Baby Won't Take Bottle from Caregiver

Updated on January 13, 2011
D.B. asks from McKinney, TX
8 answers

My daughter is 14 weeks old and she is exclusively breastfed. My husband and I introduced the bottle (with breast milk) to her when she was 3 weeks old and she refused it up until last month. She will now take a bottle from both me and my husband with no problem. I went back to work last week (Jan 3). The issue we have now is she refuses the bottle from our caregiver, which is my mother. She just screams and cries and refuses to drink. The doctor (and everyone else!) say she won't starve herself and if she's really hungry, she'll eat...but I feel bad for my mom!!! A screaming crying baby that you can't comfort is so stressful! I'm terrified my mom is going to tell me she can't watch her anymore since she won't eat! I don't know what to do since she takes the bottle all the time from my husband and me. We feed her a bottle in the evenings and all day during the weekends. She only nurses first thing in the morning and at bedtime. All last week and so far this week, my daughter hasn't eaten at all during the day. She just waits until I get home at night (but not happily!). Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do to help her take a bottle from my mom? My mom lives very close and we are over her house ALL the time. She has been around my mother at least 2x per week since she was born so it's not like my mom is a stranger to her.

UPDATE: Thanks for your advice. My mom is really good with her. I've watched her try to give my daughter a bottle and she does it exactly like me. My baby normally eats every 3 hrs, so my mom offers her a bottle every 2 hours or so, more or less depending on the baby's mood...she offers it when the baby is happy, sad, tired, playing, etc etc. She has really tried everything. I will definitely suggest feeding her in the car seat, that sounds like a really good idea. Also, the cup. She's only 3 months old, but maybe that will work. My baby has gone as long as 12 hours straight without eating....only to take a bottle immediately from my husband when he gave it to her. She is so stubborn!!!

Keep the responses coming, I'll take any and all advice I can! Thanks so much!

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So What Happened?

She finally took a bottle from my mom this past Friday. Whew! The car seat idea worked, thank you so much!!! Hopefully she'll keep it up this next week....

Featured Answers

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Usually they will not take a bottle from Mom or Dad and will take it from the
caregi ver. My grandson will not take a bottle, but he will patiently wait for
his Mom to come home. Then he goes on an eating fest! He is 6 months
old so he will have some solids; actually he loves table food; hates baby
food.

More Answers

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

My daughter, who is eight months old, STILL won't take a bottle from anyone else (except daddy or I), but if I HAVE to have someone else do it, like when we are at church and I am playing piano, here's the only trick I've gotten to work...

when she's happy, I put her in her carseat, and have the person sit behind the car seat, hold the bottle, and feed her. When she can't see that it isn't me...even though, of course, she knows it's not me...it seems to be a little less stressful.

I would try anything you can...she can't go all day without eating! I agree with trying a cup...try ANYTHING!

1 mom found this helpful
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H.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just went through the same thing. My DD would scream for hours while refusing the bottle from our nanny. She too would take the bottle from me and my husband. We had to ride it out. It was tough, but she adjusted after about a week of consistency.

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Your mom might try cup feeding her. Crazy as it sounds it's what I had to do with my preemie to give him his meds without using a bottle as I'd worked long and hard to get him off the bottles from the hospital and to the breast. I used the tiny cups that you would dispense medicine in.

Your mom might also try using the Playtex nurser with the brown nipple. It is very soft like the breast.

I wonder too if mom might be waiting just a hair too long and baby is sensitive to feeding times so she gets very upset and won't take the bottle?

Just some random thoughts/guesses.

M.L.

answers from Houston on

Is your mom feeding her when she's starting to fuss out of hunger? If so, the baby will likely refuse. Have her try to feed while the baby is still happy... before the hunger starts. Also it may help, if one of you feeds the baby, then carefully passes her to your mom while she's feeding.

She'll eventually get used to it. It could do with anything though, mom's perfume/detergent doesn't smell right, she isn't holding the baby comfortably. Whatever it is, watch how she does it and see if you observe anything.

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F.S.

answers from Portland on

babies can sense their moms. N babies can definitly choose comfort over anything. it will take time for your baby to realise that, thats her only afternoon meal. I can only imagine how tough it must be for your mom, but granny's normally have sO much more patience than we do. mom will understand. my daughter is 2years old and wont drink her bottle from even her dad! kids hate a change in their environment and lives, once again just give it time. I hope things work out better for you and your mommy, if you dont mind try putting formula in the bottle when your mom has her, atleast she'll be getting SOME nourishment. try some other means of getting her to drink during the day, maybe take her outside, distract her with a pet or something.

S.M.

answers from Kansas City on

There have been times when I have had a baby doing this and the only thing that changed their mind was to squeeze the nipple and force a few drops in the babies mouth. At that point the babies hunger takes over and the baby starts to suck.

If your mom has a room that is able to be made dark she could hang extra blankets over the curtains. Maybe if she feeds her in the dark she'll relax and forget that it's grandma.

Worse case scenario could she use an eye dropper just to get her to swallowing a little? I feel for you. I've seen some stubborn babies in my day :)

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R.M.

answers from Topeka on

Have your Mom give her a bottle while you are with her...then you can tell her if you hold your daughter differently, or do something special that your Mom may not be aware of. Is your Mom really relaxed and confident with your daughter? If she is uptight and nervous then my guess is that is communicating to your daughter and making her unwilling or unable to relax and take the bottle.
Let your Mom watch you give her a bottle...so that she has a better picture in her mind of what your daughter is used to. And tell her to just relax and give it a chance. I can't imagine a young child being willing to go all day long without a bottle for very long!!!

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