BAD Mama, I Don't Love You Anymore.

So sorry. :( My son used to say he didn't love me anymore. I would say "So what! You're still stuck with me!". When he found out that I didn't care (which I really did), he stopped saying it. Kids!

Ephie,

I am so sorry. I understand. My little one tells me that too and the way I respond is : " Ouch! That hurts when you say I am a bad mom. It sounds like you have some really big feelings. Are you feeling angry?Sad?etc. Can I help you with your feelings?

Sometimes the feelings are completely overwhelming and scary. So if you help your child sort it out and don't take it personally, it will help.

As for the school changes---take time each day to have one on one time with your kiddos. It will help to give that positive attention. Kids will get attention however they can--even if its negative. So if you set a time each day for each child to have positive time with mommy, those negative times will decrease.

Congrats on your pregnancy!!!!

Awe, you poor thing! I know the feeling. Please hang in there! I hope the words you heard this morning didn't hurt your feelings too much. I know the first time you hear them is always a shock, but please know you are not alone. I have heard "I hate you" more than once. I guess the thing that shocked me was I would NEVER have said that to my mom, BUT I also don't have as good/open relationship with my mom as I do with my daughters. I think there's a balance there that you have to find. You have to remember that it's just the anger coming out and she doesn't really mean it.

What are the fits about? I'm sure your patience level is not what it normally is, with being pregnant, plus you are more tired than usual. How old are your other children?

I think if we react to that kind of behavior, they win. I think the best thing is to ignore it as best you can. I don't think you should allow her to hit, kick, throw things at you. Look her right in the eye, and with the strongest voice you have, tell her that's NOT OK. You don't throw things at her, she shouldn't either. Someone could get seriously hurt.

Let us know a few more details so we can brainstorm for you. Please, please find 5 minutes for some "me" time sometime today - you deserve it! Best to you -

Hang in there. My DS has been an absolutely nightmare for the past few weeks so I hear your pain. Hopefully this is just a phase and she will snap out of it soon.

It is hard to deal with whenever....let alone while you are pregnant.

aw ephie. sending you strength.

Emmy and I go through rough patches. ussually we'll clash for a few days and then she'll go to her dads and i'll miss her so much and have time to clear my head to adjust my role in the clashing.

Sometimes I'll be more lenient for a single day and try to limit my having to say no for that day (tell her she can have a desert before she asks for it). Sometimes when she comes back from her dads monday's where its a disney house I try and make mondays fun so the adjustment is easier. Mondays are smore's days and Weds are Board game nights. sometimes her knowing treats and family time are coming limit her need to press the limits. she still has all of the same rules for behaving these days, it's J. i'm a little more likely to suggest to play a game, or have a treat.

have you thought about taking a night or two out without kids and then scheduling a one on one date with her?

my advice is probably silly since you are way more knowledgable in parenting then i am

Oh gosh HUGS Ephie.
We've all had those days.... being a Mom.is.as.such.and.we.just.wanna.cry.or.pull.out.all.our.hair on some days or weeks.
Ugh

when my kids get like that.... I just KNOW, that amidst all of our toils and busy-ness, they just NEED ME. Ya know... to just sit by them, doing nothing, except me hugging them and letting them just chat away at any thought that is in their head or heart.
And once they feel "bonded" with me again... they are A-okay.
And their loving side comes out again.
Not their icky, side.

Being in school as a parent is TOUGH. I know, my Husband was a student in college for a few years. And while my son was born too.
It is not easy. My kids hardly saw my Husband while he was a student... even if he was home studying, he was busy. REAL busy. He worked and went to school, and studied 24/7. And was not available, as a "parent" while he was going to school. He just did not have time. He did do what he could, but school took up all his time. He had to. He had to keep up his grades and attendance. Projects were grueling. But the kids "saw" how important school/college is.... him studying and why it is so important. And once he graduated he got a better job etc.
But it is tough, being a parent who goes to school. Even the Academic Advisors, told the adult students who had kids... that it will be very, hard. They have seen it.

Take solace, in that you are doing the best you can.
But young kids, don't have the capacity that we adults do.
Not even some adults can manage their emotions (LOL), and when little kids become frayed at the edges... for me, I have found that that is when my kids NEED me, the most. Even if we are just sitting there on a sofa staring into space, and them just cuddling me in silence.
Those are golden moments... moments that we parents sometimes forget... amidst our daily toil.
But kids, need many golden moments... with their Mom.

Just vent here all you need to.
You know us, we are all in the same boat!

Hugs... hugs... hugs.

And ya know... my kids have told me too "I don't love you!" in their frustration. But they don't mean it.
It just means that they need you... more....

And you know what has also helped me?
Sometimes, I just tell my kids "Sorry... Mommy is having a bad day... I don't mean to be ignorant... but I am having a bad day.... but I love you... can you be patient with Mommy, too?" And they then, understand... in a phenomenal way.
Because, I spoke to them as a human, not a super human Mommy.
Just as a person. To them. In an honest way. But then... they realize that I realize, that I am also not perfect.

Aw honey, I'm so sorry. Kicked in the head? That's kind of serious.

Do you have a child psychologist that you are working with? Talk to her about it. Maybe she is realizing that with a baby coming, she will have to share you a lot more.

I didn't know you are expecting, Ephie. With the surprise, I'm sure it throws a bit of a wrench into your plans, but I hope you can do everything you still want. Sending you hugs and love and all of that! Wish I could make your morning better!!

Dawn