I have 2 children ages 7 and 14 months. My son starts RCIA classes tonight so he can be baptized in the spring. My husband is religious by no means (it took him until now to even agree to it) but I was brought up Catholic and have been wanting this since he was born. His family doesn't practice either and they do the baptisms (for the people that attend the RCIA classes) at the 2 hour Easter Vigil. My question to you is would it be offensive to the church if I ask to do a private ceremony? Is there any polite way to do it? I plan on having my daughter baptized at the same time and can't really see her sitting through a 2 hour mass at 19 months old. Since he starts classes this week, I will see how she does during a normal mass on Sundays. I can't see him going to classes but not attending mass. Does anyone have any advice?
Hi D.,
I asked our church for a private baptism because my father-in-law is a deacon and does the gradnchildren's baptisms, but is at a different church than us. I don't think anyone was offended and they were happy to oblige. Of course, we will have to give a donation for this, but my impression from my father-in-law is that it is common practice to do this.
Good luck!
This is a tuff one. My dauhter was done at 3 months old. I think if you explain the situation that your daughter is so young and 2 hour mass is a long time. My daughter is 3 and she still has a hard time on sunday's with crayons & books. Just tell them that he will do the classes and every thing that he needs to do. But can i have them booth done together in a private ceremony. Also that fact it would be easier for family & friends to come to one ceremony. Good luck hope all goes well.
Hi,
How wonderful that you are pursuing the baptisms. I pray that you receive a positive response to your request or another solution, perhaps having the children baptised at another, regular length Mass. I want to reassure you that parishes that have bapisms at Mass are very comfortable with children, and welcome their noises and behaviors. Please schedule a talk with the pastor or the person responsible for baptism.
Best of luck to you.
You should be able to ask for a private baptism for both children. Most parishes will have infant baptisms at least once a month in a separate ceremony, or some will also do them during a regular Mass. So your daughter could be baptized just about anytime. As for your older child, even after going through RCIA, he may be able to have a separate baptism at a private ceremony or another Mass. You may be able to look up information about this, or just ask the priest directly if he'll allow it.
As for taking the kids to Mass, once they are baptized they are part of the church, and should be attending Mass anyway. Now is a great time to get into the habit of going every Sunday and getting the kids used to it. Plus, if your older son receives First Communion after the RCIA process (not sure if he would, but he's at the right age for it), he would be required to attend Mass every Sunday and Holy Day, just like an adult.
Hope this helps! Prayers for you and your family.
Congrats to the kids... I think if you talk to the person in charge of the rcia program, they would be more willing to help you figure out what to do. They understand children and church-most i know are deacons, so, they are married and have children themselves... they understand what it takes to get kids to church to begin with.. good luck
Is this Roman Catholic? I say it never hurts to ask. It's certainly not a rule of the Catholic church to only baptise then. I know my siblings and I were all baptised at times near our birth, when we were a few months old, and 3 of the 4 of us were born in the fall. Just be polite and explain that you think the 2 hour mass is too long for your daughter and could you explore other options of when to do the baptism?
A.
HI D.,
I am so happy for you that you are fulfilling your desire to have your children baptized. However, I am wondering why your 7 year old will be attending RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults)? In all of the churches with which I have been affliliated, children receive religious education through CCD programs sponsored by the church, and RCIA is for adults. Also, no classes should be required for baptism alone, at any age. Most parishes offer a'public' baptism once a month, and private baptisms may also be arranged in many instances. The Easter Vigil is a beautiful ceremony where adults are confirmed into the Catholic faith, and if not previously baptized, receive that sacrament as well. The minimum age for confirmation varies from parish to parish, but I cannot imagine that a 7 year old would be confirmed. So it may not be necessary for any of you to attend the Easter Vigil. If it turns out that your 7 year old does need to attend, why not have them both baptized prior to the Vigil, then allow him to attend the Vigil and leave your daughter at home with a caretaker. Not only is it a long mass, it is usually late into the evening.
Good luck to all of you and God Bless!
Hi D.,
I agree that it is perfectly fine to make this request. When I casually mentioned to our priest that some family couldn't attend our son's baptism because of the date, he actually offered to do a private one at a more convenient time. Easter Vigil mass is just tough - I struggled through it myself 4 years ago when my brother-in-law was baptised and I am a church regular! Many blessings upon your family!
T.
I would suggest you go straight to your Priest and ask him for advice....
D.,
Of course, you may choose to have a private ceremony for the baptism. Many people choose to do so. Bring the subject up at RCIA or in a private conversation with the priest. The celebration is very special on Saturday night at the Easter Vigil where the sacrament is received during Mass and with a large congregation witnessing the event. However, with the age of your young family members, you may want to have the baptism at another time. It does become a rather late event and is really geared toward adults. Feel free to express your concerns. Accommodations can be made.
Just want to weigh in with my agreement with all the other posts. It's so true that the Easter Vigil is tough for anyone, let alone a 7 year old or an infant. Also, if your husband is not embracing this as enthusiastically as you'd like, a 2-3 hour Mass is probably not the way to bring him on board. Most churches try to be accommodating to the new families and will find a time that works. Also, most churches have a Mass schedule that includes at least one children's Mass, so you can bring your kids without worrying so much that they're distracting other worshippers. Good luck!
I thought RCIA stood for Rite of Christian Initiation for ADULTS. Since when does a seven year old come even close to being an adult? There must be some other way. I went through it myself about 9 years ago after my daughter was made her First Communion, and another woman in the class with me was baptized as well as her son, (I think he was about 4 or 5) at the Easter Vigil, but he did not go to RCIA classes. Maybe not every church does it the same way. Good luck! And don't let your husband's views stop you from following what you believe! I was Methodist, but not "religious" and now I am a practicing Catholic!
I agree with the other posts. Infant Baptisms are generally private or semi private and held monthly. If you are willing to wait a few months to Baptize the 14 month old I'm sure you could baptize your 7 year old at the same time. I'm actually kind of surprised that they are making your 7 year old go through the RCIA classes. At our church RCIA is mainly for adults and older children. I almost think the 7 year old should be able to baptized the same as any infant. I was always told that Baptism is your parents choosing the church for their children and confirmation is young adults choosing it for themselves. Your 7 year old should be in CCD and soon preparing for First Communion. I would talk with someone at your church before putting your son in RCIA - it may be way over his head
