Bed Time???

Sooner the better I think. We used to put my daughter down at 7:30pm after reading stories and settling down. Then we'd wake her up for her last feeding (in the dark) at 10pm. Because it was in the dark, she stayed relatively sleepy. Eventually you can drop that last feeding and she'll go down at 8pm until the morning (around 7am.) Routines are so important so try to stick with it as well as you can. We added a nighttime bath around 12 months once she was actually getting dirty from playing outside and stuff. 7pm: Bath, stories, crib aquarium music and off she goes!

At 4 months of age is when babies start to recognize routine. I'd say start as soon as possible with a routine. Once you have a routine in place and she knows what happens right before bedtime, she'll fall asleep much easier. I'd also say that you could still include a bath in her nightime routine. Most babies love to play in the water, and who says you actually have to give her a bath while she's in there. Just let her play one day, but then give her an actual bath the next.

My son is six months old and we started a routine a while back - it's not set in stone but just a guideline that lets him know that it's time for bed. After dinner we change him into his pj's or give him a bath and then get pjs on. Then that we "read" a book - really just look at a couple of pictures as he chews on the corner. Finaly we sit on the couch with a bottle with the lights dimmed. Usually after about 10 minutes of the bottle he's drowsy enough for us to put him in his crib and he falls asleep there. We also have a cd player that plays a soothing lullabye cd as he drifts off. hope this was helpful.

Your daughter is at the perfect age to begin a bedtime routine. My first suggestion would be to read up on a couple methods - The Baby Whisperer; Feber Method; Healthy Sleep Habits for a Happy Baby. Then determine what you prefer to do, or create a combination of them.

A bedtime story and cuddle is a great way to start the routine. Change into jammies, brush teeth, cuddle and read, then into the crib. Setting up cues are an important part of creating this routine. A certain mobile or music that is reserved only for nap and bedtime, certain books that are only for bed time. Before L., the baby will recognize the cues and know that they mean its bedtime.

Consistency is the key to success and can also ease traveling!

Hi R., I know its hard to think that an infant can be on a bed time schedule but I have a 3 month and 3 year old so I pretty much get the baby ready for bed when I'm getting my son settled down. The baby gets a bath either every other night or I wait 2 nights--depending on if she's been held a lot by others. After bath, I nurse her during storytime for my son and she's pretty much falling asleep by then too. I just pray this continues as I will be going back to work soon. Depending on how much stimulation is going on in your house at night could play a part in setting a simple routine at this point. Good luck
Dani

This is a perfect age to start a routine--especially since you don't want her to have to rely on you to go to sleep. Both of my kids have been on a sleep routine since they were 6 and 8 weeks old, mostly because that's when I went back to work and we were forced to have a routine. I don't bathe my kids nightly, either, because they both have dry skin (even with slathering them in aveeno lotion), so most nights the routine for my 5-1/2 month old is that once we get home from work/daycare I feed him his dinner (cereal and a vegetable...don't know if your baby is starting solids yet), then he plays in his high chair while we finish up our dinner with our older son. Afterwards, we play a little or snuggle a little (if he's cranky), and watch my older son play. Around 8pm one of us puts our older son to bed while the other parent changes the baby and gets him into his jammies. Usually around 8:30pm or so, I nurse him and then lay him in his crib around 9pm, even if he still seems awake. I turn on his lullabye cd, give him his kisses, and make sure he's got a corner of his lovey blanket next to his cheek. He might chirp or fuss in his bed a few minutes, but is usually asleep within 10 minutes. If not, then those are the nights that I will snuggle him a bit longer and maybe sit in the rocking chair with him to get him calmed down...but unless he's really upset, I don't sit in the rocking chair more than 10 or 15 minutes and still try to lay him back down when he's calmed down (and not necessarily asleep). He will still get up in the middle of the night once in a while, but that usually only when he's got a cold and not resting well.
On bath nights, we just cut after-dinner playtime a little shorter and I might nurse him a few minutes later.
A 9pm bedtime seems pretty common for babies this age, and I think holding your baby until she dozes off, even as late as 1am might be allowing her to get into a bad habit. Plus, you want her to not only be able to sleep on her own, but also get to bed at a good time so that you can finish up a few things of your own at the end of the day and get to bed at a decent hour.

Also, while we let our older son occasionally "cry it out", that wasn't until he was about a year old and knew he could manipulate us. I seem to remember even Dr. Ferber said you need to wait until they are about that age before allowing them to cry. The baby only fusses/moans a little...usually a minute or two, before settling down. If he's flat-out crying, we go get him.

I hope that helps! Good luck!

Start now with a schedule. I have 5 kids. Bed time for them was 7:00 p.m. A baby crys because they know you will come to their rescue!!I put the baby down and they were usally sleeping within 30 minutes. They will get use to being put down by themselves.

Our doctor suggested beginning a routine around 4 months (both daytime and nightime). We have a little boy who just turned 5 months and the nightly routine has been wonderful for us. It took about 2 weeks for him to get used to sleeping through the night and there were a few rough nights where he cried for a while. My husband was really helpful and kept encouraging me to let him learn on his own rather than me rushing into his room at every little whimper. It was tough considering we were still swaddling him up until 4 months.

Here is what we do every single night: a few spoonfuls of baby food (which he doesn't really like) at 5:30pm; a bath at 6pm (using Aveno for sensitive skin); a bottle at 6:30pm and then read a book or two in his room. He is a bit drowsy but still awake when we put him in his crib. It takes him about 10 minutes to fall asleep and then he doesn't usually wake up until 6-7am.

I have thought the bath was a wonderful addition to the routine and was worried about his skin too. Both myself and my husband have extremely sensitive skin. We haven't had any problems so far. Another suggestion, our doctor strongly encouraged us to not rock our baby to sleep because they will never learn to fall asleep on their own. I know it's easier said than done but it really made sense to us. One final thing, our doctor also told us that babies need a ton of sleep so if your daughter isn't getting a lot of naps in during the day (like over 5hrs) she might be going to bed too late. Just my thoughts. Good luck!

I suggest reading some of the DR. Sears books too... I am totally against letting babies cry it out, and he explains why better than I could... and has good suggestions for sleep stuff. I think there is actually The Sleep Book or something.... I have a three month old and not too too worried about a routine yet. I think it happens naturally with a little guidance...

It was about 5 months that I really started with my daughter - by then she sort of had a routine down so I could just create a schedule from that - with some adjustments here and there. We fed on demand and did not let her cry it out, so she had a couple night time feedings still, but it really made a difference in my night in that I actually had one!

If you don't want bath time each night, then you could just do pjs, storytime, nurse/bottle and then tuck in. Likewise with naps. Then you have a routine for the future.

Hi R.,

I don't think she's too young for a bed time. I've read mixed information about when to start the cry-it-out method (some say after 3 months and some say after 6 months) so I don't know that I would try that just yet. But, it would help to have a routine to give her the message that it is time to settle down. A nice massage (with or without lotion) and a big bottle and a song are what gives our daughter the message that it is time to go to bed. We skip bath every few days so we have the routine start after bed time. I've also read to do a bed time story, but this gets our daughter really excited, however it may work for you.

Good Luck!
S. - mother of 7 month old daughter

Hi: MY kids are much older (15, 12) and when the oldest was about 6 weeks, I spoke with my cousin who is a pediatric sleep expert. She works with Marc Weissbluth who wrote, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It has changed the lives of many of my friends (and me, too) - my kids are olympic sleepers and have been since 8 weeks old. The basic premise is that you have to "teach" your child good sleep habits and these will follow them throughout life: (1) the baby should never be awake for more than 2 hours (start their sleep routine at 90 minutes; (2) teach your child to soothe herself to sleep. So for example, your husband holding her til she falls asleep is not teaching her to soothe herself to sleep - she will become "addicted" to this into childhood.

A good friend with twins used this book as a guide and it worked like a charm. The general belief is that, "the more they sleep, the more they sleep." I can attest to this first-hand - it is like magic (if you stick to it). I was a much, much happier person and a better mom because my kids slept. And guess what - they still do!!

Good luck. Let me know if you have any questions. E.

Hi R.,

A bath doesn't need to be part of a routine, you could always just do a feeding and a book or a song, but I would definitely try to start having some kind of regular bedtime. Also, I held my son until he fell asleep every night of his life pretty much because it's what we both loved the most. This ended up being a huge problem though when he was 17 months old & I brought his sister home from the hospital!!! Holding Mike until he fell asleep at 8 or 9 was no longer an option as we had a newborn who needed to be fed & held also so going through having him fall asleep on his own at 17 months old was a lot harder than it would have been at 5 months old. I know it's a comfort to all of you, but it's probably in everyone's best interest to get started on her self-soothing earlier rather than later. Good luck!

Melissa

Hey R.,
My son is 8 months old now, but we started pretty early with a routine, about 3 months old. We have classical or soft instrumental music playing in the nursery all the time, reserve the crib for sleeping and so far, it has worked pretty well. I ususally grab a bottle and start rocking him at about 7 and by 7:30 at the latest, he's finished his bottle and is starting to doze. Pop a pacifier in and put him in the crib and he's usually out until about 3:30 or 4. I realize we're pretty lucky in that respect, but give it a try. Good luck!

I have the same issue. We try to put her down around 10-11 but she doesn't go to sleep until around 1 or 2. I get a lot of grief about it from people, but since I let her sleep as late as she wants, I think she is fine. We are going to start letting her cry more and try to move up her bedtime when our holiday travel is over. Our daughter is now 5 1/2 months, and at her 4 month checkup our doctor said she was old enough to learn to put herself to self (by crying, etc.). I personally like the time at night-she is very playful and fun. Good luck!

Setting up a routine at 5 months is a very good time, she'll catch on very quickly. around 5 months we had a bedtime of 9:30, at 8:00 we changed into pjs and played quiet for an hour (dim lights, reading books, turn down noises) then around 9:00 I rocked and nursed(or bottle) Noah and he fell asleep in no time. I think you should establish a routine before 6 months it will help her to become a better sleeper in the upcoming months.

I started a rountine when my son was around the same age as yours. Our routine is still the same and he is now 19 months old, and we never have an issue with him going to bed (unless he's sick). He takes a bath (sometimes every other night), then I lotion him up (while he gets his last minute playing in), then he gets his diaper on (this is when I give him his milk b/c it's the only way he'll lay completely still so I can get the diaper on good for the night), then I put his P.J.'s on, then I read 3 books to him, then he pushes play on his CD player (when he was too young to know I put his finger on the button with my finger), then he turns out the light (same as CD player - I put my finger over his until he learned to do it on his own), then I give him a kiss and a hug and say a prayer with the prayer bear, then I put him in his crib and he goes to sleep. I think if you start a routine now, it will be beneficial for every member in your family. My sister never established a routine, and now her oldest daughter, age 7, still has problems going to sleep on her own. Of course, you'll find special things to incorporate into your routine, and find some things work and some don't. Just play around with it all - for my son, turnig the CD player on and the lights out are what makes him excited for bed.

I remember my pediatrician basically saying you can start anytime, but the baby will not really help you with it until at least 6 months....good luck

Our daughter's routine does not include a bath, either. At that age it was 1 diaper change, then 1-3 books in the rocker in her bedroom, then a nurse or a bottle, then to bed. At age 1 we dropped the bottle which wasn't hard b/c everything else was the same. Sitting in a dark quiet room, rocking and reading to her soothed her enough to lay her down. We did not let her cry it out. Someone said that a baby cries b/c they know you'll come to their rescue - that's a good thing! It's positive for your child to know that you will be there for them when they need you. Sometimes being held is a need, not just a desire, especially for an infant. She is a wonderful self-soother, now - we didn't hurt that by comforting her, then. But, we weren't extremely sound about the exact time of her bedtime at that age. It still varied in a range of hours - we watched her for cues, careful not to let her get overtired b/c then hormone levels change and can actually keep them awake. (Yikes!) All the babies I have known tend to kind of have their own natural schedules for their bodies - my daughter did, too - and we listened to/followed it. We have had no problems w/ her sleep patterns or routines at home or away b/c of it, so long as the routine was the same it didn't matter what time it was. By 1 we definitely had a bed time, though, which we still use now at 2 1/2. My advice to you is not to stress out too much about a forever routine right now. No matter what having a baby is a lot of hard work, but it'll all work out in the end. Best of luck to you and your family - congratulations on your new addition!

I would definitely start a bedtime routine, but skip having a bath be a part of it. If you are not at home for some reason at bedtime, but need to put your kid to bed, you will regret needing to give her a bath. I have seen people give their kids makeshift baths to keep up the routine in public. It seems silly to me.

Our bedtime routine starts with a bottle at 6:30, then we play for an hour, then we read to him, pray with him, and put him down for the night. We started this around 6 months. Our son sleeps from 7:30 pm to 7:30 am.