Bedtime - Glassboro,NJ

I love the Ferber sleep solutions book. You would let him cry but keep going back in to pat him on the back, for increasing intervals of time until he soothes himself. Once you teach him using this method, the crying will be resolved within a week. Best book I ever bought, read it cover to cover because it has tips for all ages and all kinds of issues.

S.,
Do you think he may be a little over-tired? You could try getting him ready a bit earlier and see if that helps. Also, what about white noise or a music CD playing in his room?
I think if you are trying to let him Cry It Out...you can go in and soothe him every 10 minutes or so but don't actually pick him up when you do...just pat him. Say as ittle as possible.

HI S., Instead of picking him up why don't you walk together into his bed room? Start with a soothing bathtime, pj's, a quiet game then lead him to his bed room and put him in his crib. He probably doesn't want to sit still for a story because he is tired and will fall asleep if he stops for more than a minute so...you need to find a routine that will help him slow down and sleep without a fight. Independant sleep habits are one of the best gifts that you can give your son, so hang in there! Best wishes & Good luck!

2 things:

He may be overtired so try a little earlier.

Bedtime routine. If you don't have one it is time to establish one. When my kids were that age we would bathe them and then take 10 minutes to hang out on our bed in jammies. We would sing and play a little in the covers and just have fun together. All our attention was focused on them and it was truly a bonding experience. Then a story and sleep. If your bedtime routine is enjoyable for him he won't pushback as much when he knows it is time to go up.

Be tough! He's smart, he knows it's bedtime, he wants to control the situation. As soon as he learns that bed time is non negotiable, as in, once he's put down, he never gets back up, he'll accept it. Even if he cries, it's not hurting him. And he will stop crying once he realizes it never gets him anywhere. Good luck! When it "feels bad" to you to let him cry, just remember it's for his own good to learn to fall asleep comfortably on his own, and it's for the family';s good, to have a peaceful bedtime. Stick to your guns!

It sounds like you need to work with him to establish a bedtime routine. It won't be easy to do this, but in the end it will be worth it. At first, since your son is already not wanting to go to bed, you may need to let him "cry it out" until he falls asleep on his own. Each day he will cry less and less until, eventually, he will learn that when you say it is bedtime, that's it. If you establish a bedtime routine and stick to it, you will find that he will go to bed a lot easier.

Here is the routine that I do with my kids.
1. bathtime
2. getting dressed in their PJs
3. brushing their teeth and hair
4. saying goodnight to daddy/siblings with a hug and kiss
5. reading a book
6. lights out and door closed

I would tend to agree with Denise P. He might be a bit too tired when he goes to bed.
Either that, or he is already willing to challenge your set bedtime for him.
My daughter was pretty headstrong at that age and would battle her bedtime. But, eventually, she realized that her bickering would not change the schedule.
Setting that time is not something that will break their spirit. It is something they will count on from you.

Hi S.,

Here are some web sites:

www.byebyecrybaby.com

www.storknet.com/guests/babymassage.htm

http://slumbersounds.com/baby-bedtime-rituals-info.htm

Hope one helps. Good luck. D.

My son goes to bed between 7:30 and 8 and sleeps really well - usually 12 hours. (Of course, as I write this, he is upstairs crying!) Maybe try an earlier bedtime. Best wishes! Every stage has it's challenges. Gotta go see why he is crying now!

It sounds to me as if he's an on-the-go kind of guy and just doesn't want the day to end. Try giving him simple choices. "It's time to read a book now. Do you want to read it on the couch or on your bed?" That way he has some control over the situation, even if he can't change the fact that he's going to bed.

Also, you can change him into pj's earlier, and let him stay up some AFTER changing -- like change him 1/2 hour early or something. That way, getting changed isn't hassled by tears and stuff. Then he gets to play a little more, then a book, and then perhaps he'd like to listen to music while he goes to sleep ? Our kids had some great kids' songs tapes (it was before CD's !) and I'm sure there are still some around that are imaginative and fun to listen to. You can ask him if he'd like to play his songs while he's in bed. Hug him, turn them on, and let him go to sleep.

OOPSIE ! Your guy is only 13 months old. Okay, what I did at that age was to hold my kids and bounce them some, and sing to them until they were already asleep. THEN I put them in bed. They didn't go to bed until at least 8:00, and maybe later then -- cuz they were really on my schedule. And yes, I started sooner than they fell asleep, and sometimes they cried while we walked and bounced around the house, but they went to sleep in my arms. THEN they went to bed. I was just never good at having them cry it out. If they wanted to land in the crib, they would generally lean down toward the bed, but if not, they'd just hang onto Mom, and we'd keep up the routine until they did fall asleep.

Not much help, huh ? Aging helps the most. So while he's young, you have to work up a routine that works for you, allowing you to spend hug-time you don't get during the workday, and giving you enough rest to be able to accomplish both your job and motherhood. :-) Good luck. And enjoy it. Amazingly they grow up. My oldest is 28, and my youngest is 13. None of them get rocked to sleep, or sung to sleep, and now they hardly ever get tucked in, either. So relish the moments, even if they are frustrating when you are exhausted.