Bedtime Issues with 4 1/2 Month Old

Updated on September 09, 2006
J.A. asks from Chicago, IL
11 answers

Hi Moms, I am perplexed by a sleep problem and would love your advice! Our little 20-wk old girl is a night owl and just doesn't want to settle down before 9-10 at night. Naturally, her older brother went down every night at 7PM like clockwork, so this is throwing me for a loop.

Here's our routine:

~7AM wakeup
~9AM nap (1-2 hours)
~1PM nap (1-2 hours)
3rd nap variable, the crux of the issue: if she wakes by 2:30, I'll put her down for a third nap as she would get overtired by bedtime. If she sleeps later, I'll try to keep her up. The problem arises when she wakes at 3pm. She is exhausted by 6pm, so I put her back down, but she thinks its a nap and wakes an hour later. She then wants to play until 10. The result is I'm exhausted, (I want to go to bed by 9!) and I know she is not getting a long enough stretch of sleep at night.

Other info:
- She typically wakes once before morning, but has slept a full 12 hours without waking.
- We were swaddling, but she is now learning to fall asleep on her own, so we can't really swaddle any more.
- I am a Weissbluth devotee, but have read most of the other books on sleep. Yes I'm neurotic, but her other brother was a great sleeper! :-)
- We've tried just putting her down, letting her cry, putting her in the stroller/swing/you name it, but she just simply won't fall asleep until she's ready.

Any advice? Thanks so much for your help!

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So What Happened?

I ended up shifting her second nap later and eliminated the third nap (following the reco of one mamasource mom) - worked like a charm! Turned out she could stay up a lot longer than I thought she could if she was well rested (a good 3 hours). If she took a good second nap she could then go 3.5-4 before bed and we could get her down by 7:30 or 8. Thanks, Mamasource!

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

Have you tried warm baby cereal before bedtime? That helped my son, it filled his little belly and then I used(don't laugh)a C.D. of Kenny G. in his room when I laid him down. At first he fought it by still wanting to stay up but I kept at it and I would hear him in his room making those wonderful baby sounds as he relaxed and put himself to sleep. Needless to say his moniter was in my room and helped me fall asleep too.

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Y.

answers from Chicago on

Not sure if this will help or not but how dark is her room? Could it be too light at night for her so she doesn't want to go to sleep until after dark? If this is it maybe try room darkening shades. Good Luck.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

J.,

I have 4 1/2 month old twins, a boy and a girl. They are doing the exact same thing...schedule and everything to your little girl. We nurse them at 9:30 so they are asleep by 10, but any earlier and they want to be up super early in the morning, like 5am, so we're just hoping that as time goes on, they'll want to nap less and sleep more at night. I'm also interested in other people's responses since mine are also at this stage. Thanks!

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L.D.

answers from Chicago on

I always, NO MATTER WHAT, woke my daughter up before 5:00pm, to this day, and she's 9 mos. now, do not let her sleep past 5. I just found it was a good time to wake up, play for a half hour and then have dinner. If she only slept a short time, we went right to the bath (we do it every night), and she was in bed by 7, if she had a good nap we pushed the bath back to 6:30 or 7:00 and had her in bed by 8. Either way she was in bed between 7 and 8. Have you tried giving a warm bath at night, this seems to signal my daughter that bed time is approaching, it gives her a chance to relax in the water then she's looking for that milk bottle when shes done and she's off to sleep. Hope this helps, Good luck!!!!

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A.

answers from Chicago on

We are still swaddling our 18-week old, and she falls asleep beautifully on her own. The two are not mutually exclusive. If she likes swaddling, you can keep doing it. If she likes to suck her hands to fall asleep, leave one out for her.

Good luck - I feel for you. We had a rough two weeks while we waited for our Miracle Blanket to arrive so I could keep swaddling her.

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K.D.

answers from Chicago on

Hello..

There is a book called how to get your 12 week old to sleep 12 hours (I can't remember the author)... it will take you an hour to read very short. I used it for my 3rd child and she sleeps like a charm...

Hopefully this will help.

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

Has anything changed in your personal life lately, a move, divorce, have you went back to work as of late? When I went back to work my son missed me, and would want to do things like play in the middle of the night :) Have you started her on any solids yet...maybe if she has a full tummy she will go to bed sooner...unfortunately my son waoke up once or twice a night to eat no matter what solids we fed him until he was over a year old, sometiomes wanting to play, or be cuddled, etc. He also had ear problems so I think the more he sat up the more comfortable it was for him. Also, is she able to go in anyhting like a jumper or play table yet...I know the physical activity really helped him a lot with sleep as he got older. If it's any consolation after the first year he has been a great sleeper (like a rock), and an easy going child. He's now almost 4. I have an almost 5 week old, and she is actually a good newborn night sleeper, but she cries inconsolably every night for two or three hours before that, ah if we only knew :) Good luck, and I hope you get some rest soon.

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P.

answers from Chicago on

I was right there with you. My son was the"perfect"baby and I knew from that I would be doomed by my second child and she lived up to my every worry. My daughter is now 17 months old and finally started sleeping through the night,YIPPY!!!!! thank goodness because I actually had sleep depravation. It took a toll on me, she had acid reflux but also slept alot during the day where she didn't want to sleep at night. Your baby is still young and needs that sleep but try to not let her 2nd nap be so long. Maybe wake her after an hour. Or even wake her up an hour early in the morning(I know 6 am?) BUt if you break her of her current cycle maybe this will create a new one for you and her. It worked for me when I did it to make her sleep through the night. It will be hard but in the long run worth every minute of extra sleep you can get.
good luck and hang in there, it does get better.

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A.S.

answers from Chicago on

Your baby is very young--too young to have sleep issues. She is sleeping quite well for her age. Follow her cues and let her sleep whenever she wants to sleep, eat whenever she wants to eat...You were very lucky with your son. Your baby girl has more of a typical pattern. Swaddle her until she does not want this anymore. This will comfort her. Babies the young cannot be expected to learn to sleep on their own or to follow a schedule.
Amy

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C.G.

answers from Chicago on

I have been blessed with good sleepers, so I may not be much help. Not sure if you are scheduling naps or if she is dictating when she sleeps but you might find she is ready to drop that third nap and take later/longer first two naps. I never scheduled my kids so I not sure of the logistics, but maybe if you tried keeping her up longer in the morning, longer in the afternoon and eliminated that third nap altogether it would help. Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

my son wouldn't sleep and now i swear by a sound machine. he sleeps from 7:45ish till 6:15 ish i feed hima whole 9 oz bottle before bed and he falls asleep and that's it i also feed him in his room and no lights on and i turn the sound machine on then it's the sound of running water like a waterfall they say that white noise makes kids sleep but the water sounds like white noise and it's better. it was only 10 at target near the aroma therpy things. try it what's ten dollars to get yoru kid to sleep

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