Behavior - Owasso, OK

Hi C.,
I would try a pre-K or preschool program, or maybe just a mother's day out once or twice a week. There she will have playmates and teachers' focused attention. I always joke that it's a good thing my daughter goes to daycare because if she had to stay home with me she'd be bored stiff! She actually loves to go and play with her friends.
Good luck!
W.
PS Happy Holidays!!

My daughter is also 4 and acting much in the same way. But she actually is in Pre-K for 1/2 days. I think its just the age. Plus, at this age, they are becoming "big girls" not toddlers anymore. They really need some girlfriends I think. I also have a 2 yr old son and a 3 mo old son. She plays well with both of them, but its when she's by herself she gets bored and testy. Mine is always trying to fix her brother's hair or trying to get him to play barbies with her. LOL A mother's day out program is a great idea if you can afford it. What area do you live in? I'm always looking for playdates for my kids. Like I said, my daughter would love another little girl to play with. Well good luck and keep us posted.
A. K

C.,
My almost 3yo loves to "help" me and I try to let her even when it slows the task to a crawl (i try and remember that we are having together time and that's more important than whether the 5 min. task takes 30).
:-)
Also, I am a part of MOM'S Club Intnl. You could check in your area and see if there is a club. The MOM'S get to interact with other Mommies and the Kids get to play together. There are usually at least 4 kid centered activities/month as well as a Mom's Night Out (attendence is optional for all this but most of it's free).
Also, see if there is a Mall/ Indoor shopping center in your area that has a play area. We have one in a local Mall and (although I'd stay away for about the next 2 weeks :-P) it's Great for Winter play also there is food around if you want/can afford to get it or you can bring your own if budget doesn't permit.
There are also great church activities-a few Moms have mentioned this already-in most areas that 4 yr olds can participate in. If you have the means-think about putting her in Mom's Day Out, she will be in a safe environment and have other kids to play with-lots of places will let you put your child in just 1 day/week-and You Both will have a bit of a break .
Our elementary school has 3 and 4 yr preschool and pre-k-might want to check with your local school and see if they offer a program like that-it's VERY affordable if it's there.
I also reccommend FlyLady-there is a special section on her website the House Fairy-it is a tool to help you teach your kids to clean up after themselves and help you out too. If she learns to clean her room she might be too busy to get as bored... This stuff is age Appro.-they won't having you teach her to vaccum at 4 ;-), picking up and putting things away mostly but they have tips on how to make it more like a game so she has fun with it.
One final thing I reccommend, some people think it's a bit controversial-I found one of those exercise trampolines at Wal-mart a few years ago for about 20 dollars and my daughter LOVES it. I had to hold her hands for a while till she learned to jump safely, but it's just big enough that she gets great exercise and doesn't jump too High to hurt herself. Also, it's small enough to store and USE inside so weather isn't a factor.
It's also good for Mommy to walk on if she gets a chance :-). Great way for her to work off some energy and let you get a little done. My daughter loves to jump to music. I listen for when the song ends and check then keep going with another task after the next song starts.

Hope this helps!
Merry Christmas
C.

Frist try the locial church and see if they offer what is called mothers day out. If they do try and leave her there with kids her age and see if that helps, if they don't then try to see if there are any moms in your area that would be interested in having a mothers day out on there own. What I mean is try to take turns keeping the kids one day here the next there and so on it will help greatly not only does it give her someone to play with but it gives you grown ups to talk to as well.

Have you tried looking for activities at local churches. Lots of churches have wednesday and sunday night programs for children and they always welcome children even if their families are not members. My little boy is 5 and is in mother's day out for the first time and he had very little contact with other kids for most of his life and he is an only child, but it never really seemed to bother him that much even though he loved playing with other children. In fact, he's played mostly with much older children until tee ball last spring. You could also check you recom or ymca for programs for children of her age. Good luck!!
Have a fabulous christmas and god bless!!

Try making some of the housework play. Also, try having a schedule similar to a preschool...playtime, craft time, snack time, rest time, etc. This way, more often than not, she will know what to expect.

Part of it is, in my mother's words, an age and a stage. I noticed that shortly after my daughter's 4th birthday, she got a bit... wonky, shal we say. I think that's a pretty common age to start testing their independence and pushing all the boundries. Another part is the holidays; they're contagious. My 19 month old is wound like a spring, and he has no idea that presents are coming. I think it's the general atmosphere and excitement in stores, on the tv, and in the air, and from the two big ones (who have been little hooligans for the past month!).

there's a lot of other good advice on here, so, mainly, I was just writing to say it will pass. Hang in there a bit longer, try not to bop her (or sell her on ebay LOL), and remember that they change every day. Good luck and happy holidays!

Our Library has a story hour once a week. After the story they do a small craft that goes along with the story. Its free and is something to look forward to.
Make homeade play-doh together and she can play while you are doing dishes. Make a game out of sorting laundry by color. I taught my kids to fold towels and sort socks around 4 my younger ones still enjoy helping fold laundry.

Its really hard to keep little ones busy in the winter. We all get a little hard to live with when we can't "play" outside. Try to think of things she loves to do outside and bring them in every once in a while. Your big rubber maid tubs are great sand and water tables. When your done all you have to do is put on the lid and store on the back porch till next time.

Have fun with her and Happy Holidays
A.

She does sound really bored. If she's involved in a local church that might offer Wed. night and Sunday morning times to play with others and also learn some wonderful things. Some of the larger churches have lots of things for the children to be involved in at no cost or low cost. When the weather permits, take her to a park or church playground and let her play for an hour. Even though you won't be able to do housework during that time, the time for both children to spend outside with you and getting rid of some excess energy will be great for the rest of the day and you'll actually accomplish more when you are at home. If she knows she has this daily outside play time she'll have something to look forward to. During the summer sign her up for local Vacation Bible Schools to interact with other children and have great fellowship!

C., give her ways to "help" you with the things you do during the day. That will teach her how to do those things as well as keep her occupied...don't present it as a chore list, just helping Mommy. Be sure to prais what she does and remember that she can only do things as well as a 4 year old can. My mom always required perfection even when i was little, i've had to break a lot of the inadequaticy issues that came from that. Let her feel that she is helping but she's also learning and accomplishing. It will slow you down some but will be great in the end. Good luck...R.

do they not have three year old hesdstart or a three year old church
group near by. it has help my three year old grand daughter a lot
she has learn have to play with othere and has learned to say thank you and you are welcome.

I really recommend a Mom's Day Out program... They are really inexpensive and the kids get to play and learn together for a day. Some programs offer two days a week, which would be even better. It would help her get ready for school as well. Most church groups offer the programs but you do not have to be a member of the church for a child to attend. Good luck!

Have you looked into activities provided by your local Parks and Recreation office? Many cities have group activities for preschoolers at low rates, and it would help her get some socialization and physical activity. Or you could look into activities at a family YMCA.

As for behavior issues, you could perhaps read a book like John Rosemond's "A Family of Value" for a general philosophy of child-rearing. I've found it helpful so far. If you don't find it so, though, there are many other approaches and you can research books online at Amazon.com by reading user reviews.

I am glad that you posted this on here and recieved so much advice. I just wabted you to know that I believe you are a great mother/house wife/homemaker. I have watched you raising my grandchildren and your enteractions with you husband. I am proud of you and more proud that you are my daughter-in-law. I love you.

Sincerely,
Your Mother-in-law

check your town, here in seminole they have a headstart some are free and some based on your income. she really needs to play with other kids. start out small because when she gets to pre k its all different. so this way you can start her out slow. i never went to headstart or pre k or kindergarden and i was thrown into first grade i didnt like it so its good to start slow..good luck.

I'm not commenting on experience but just a few suggestions that come to mind are maybe a mother's day out program. Or have you tried getting involved in a MOPS program? There you will find other moms of young children and she will have other children to play with while you're at the meeting. I'm not involved in one of these but have heard about them and want to get involved just haven't had the time lately. You can visit www.mops.com to find a location near you and for more information about what they're about. Also, have you ever taken her to Gymboree class where she can run around and use a lot of energy. My daughter is just 2 but she absolutely loves these classes and I know they have classes for older children also. Anyway, I hope some of this helps. Good luck.

i dont want to sound negative but you are a stay at home MOM which means your children come first the house work will be there after they go to bed. it really comes down to which is more important a clean house or happy healthy children she obviously needs more of your attention so give it to her while she is still young enough to want to do things with her mom pretty soon she will just want to be with friends and mom will become embarrassing as we all do when our children get older they are only this age once dont waste this precious time cleaning your house! good luck!

Find a preschool or day care center and see if she can attend on a part time basis.

She is acting out because she needs and wants to be around children her own age.

This will also get her acclimated to a structred environment with children her own age, before she starts kindergarten.

Try all your local churches for a Mother's Day Out program. My daughter goes 3 days a week and loves it. Some places do 1 or 2 days each week just to give mom a break, but it also helps with the socializing that your daughter needs at this age.
J.

You might try finding a mothers day out program. It would give her something to look forward to during the week and give you a day or two off. You can also look on-line for playgroups to get together with. If you're in Lawton there's a great mom's group on Meetup.com. There are also a few MOPS groups and then a MySpace based group. I hope you find the right people for you!

You should try to enroll her in a 3 day a week 1/2 day Pre-K class at a local Preschool. It helps her get ready for Kindergarten and will also give her an outlet for play and to make new friends. I did this for all for my kids and it really helped. You should be able to find one for like $100-$125 a month. The investment is worth every penny!

This response is for the part about how you said you play with her but you still have house work to get done. So it could be she just needs more attention from you. Here is how I look at it. I am also a SAHM. I am not a homemaker. My full time job is to take care of my baby. Period. My husband's full time job is his job outside of the home. So evenings and weekends we share household chores just like we did before I had a kid and when we were both working outside of the home. Anyway, I think it's a good system, because it enables me to focus on my daughter all day and give her all the attention and supervision I think she needs. And if I simply must get some housework done during the day, I do it during her naps (although your 4 YO may not be napping anymore, I don't know the age when naps stop, not there yet!). Or I do a few things if she is busy playing and happily entertaining herself, but I never purposely not give her attention or play with her to do housework instead. Good luck!

C.,

I would check to see if there are any MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) groups in your area. I have also taken my daughter to the local library for story time. The children's librarian usually reads a couple of books and then they have an activity. My daughter really loves it. Good luck. I also think part of it is just her age.