Behavior Normal for a 10 Year Old??

Updated on April 28, 2008
K.M. asks from Wylie, TX
25 answers

My 10 year old son gets something in his head and becomes obsessed!! For instance for the last 2 weeks every day he ask to mow the yard. The first week the lawnmower was in the shop so every day (more like 500 times a day) he ask when we were going to pick it up. After we did pick it up.. It has been raining or cold or we were busy with other activities but it has not stopped the constant same question. It drives me nuts!!! He seems unable to concentrate on anything else.. We were at a sports camp that he begged to go to and the first words out of his mouth when we left were when can I mow now? Please help.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

Wow! My kids are a little older so they've grown out of that somewhat, but my daughter - at 16 - started doing it again about driving.

Did you tell him he would get paid for the job? Is the thought of earning money motivating him? if yes, then maybe you could find some other "jobs" he could do to earn money - or at least to keep him busy so he won't be so focused!

A.

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R.N.

answers from Dallas on

I agree w/Rebecca. My husband has O C D and it does come in a variety of things. People assume it's like the constant washing hands and things like that, but it can be a lot different. It could be more of a obsessive disorder and not obsessive/compulsive. Is he always that way, like w/other things too? I would def' observe it in other areas and see if there is a pattern. If not, I agree it's pretty normal.

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A.C.

answers from Dallas on

If it's truly bothersome to you then speak with his pediatrition or the diagnostitian at his school. Otherwise when he asks the first time tell him when it will be okay, or when he can ask again. If he asks before the correct time reply with something like "you know the answer for now" or "when can you ask me that". After awhile he is likely to get iritated and stop asking.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

I have 3 boys and they do things like that also. I don't think to that degree, but they do.
If you feel there really is a problem, look up Asperger's syndrome. That should make you decide whether he is normal or not.
Sometimes I tell them, regarding a time like that, that if they ask me again I will tell them NO and completely deny what they want. So he obviously knows the mower is in the shop, you have already told him when it will be done, and if he asks again, you will not let him mow. if he is mature enough to mow then he is mature enough to remember where it is and what you said, and smart enough to know the appropriate weather and to stop asking. and if he can't then he is obviously not ready to mow. so you will not get to. I am an adult and don't need your constant reminders and I will not forget where the mower is,nor the fact that I told you,you can mow. But your behavior is clearly making me wonder if you are mature enough to handle the responsability. Replies from me along those lines usually works to stop the behavior. And sometimes a time or two of denying them what they want in light of their obnoxious behavior but normal behavior.
I have also found it is their anxiety over me forgetting and one of their brothers getting to do it when they asked first. with yours there is no competition. use the dialogue above and see if he doesn't stop. i bet he will if he wants to mow bad enough. ( or what ever )
good luck,
L.

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R.C.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K., It could be nothing, but it also could be a sign of minor obsessive compulsive disorder. People tend to hear about that and freak out, but it's actually fairly common, happens in a wide spectrum of degrees, and is very treatable. Also, the earlier the symptoms are recognized, the less likely it is to ever become debilitating. If you'd like to shoot me a personal message, I can tell you more and give you a little more encouragement. But....it could be nothing. :-) It's just always worth the peace of mind to ask your doctor a few questions and know for sure. God bless you, and Good Luck!

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M.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hi K.,

I hope what I have to say will be helpful to you, and you won't get upset. Your son's behavior might be completely "normal", and he is just going through an obsessive kind of phase. However, if I can be your devil's advocate, it might be something more. Your son asking you to mow "500 times a day," as you said, describes a word - perseverate. My son (who is 4 years old) has high functioning Autism, and he perseverates all the time. Perseverate means asking the same question (or making the same comment) over and over and over again. When my son gets something in his head, he doesn't let it go (well, he eventually does, but then he moves on to something else to obsess about). Please don't misunderstand me - I am NOT implying that your son has Autism. I am simply saying that his perseverating about mowing MIGHT mean something else. If he doesn't stop perseverating about mowing (or whatever else), you may want to take him to a pediatric neurologist to have him evaluated. I hope this was helpful to you.

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S.L.

answers from Dallas on

Tell your son to come and mow our lawn.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son has Aspergers and does this alot.

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K.E.

answers from Dallas on

I think all kids go through a little OCD behavior. I'd ride it out. Meantime, maybe you can get him focused on mowing other lawns. I asked my own ten year old son what he thought and he said " He should have a lawn mowing business!" Out of the mouths of babes.
There is something satisfying about activities like mowing as it gives instant gratification. You clearly see your accomplishment and for a kid this is incredibly satisfying.

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S.K.

answers from Oklahoma City on

K.,
I too have a 10 yr old, he does this however it is usually when it is his first time to do it. He gets over it after a week or so before he remembers it again. It is like driving a car for the first time they become addicted and want to do it again and again. I think it's pretty normal in my experience. Hope this relieves some worries.

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P.B.

answers from Dallas on

Check him out, sounds like he has a slight case of autism

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

You might want to get your son tested for Aspergers Syndrome.
For more info go to: www.Autism-Society.org

At least you can check the symptoms out there to see if they match. A coworker has a son with similar symptoms, and that's what they discovered was the culprit.

Good luck!

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

Let him mow. I believe the fun will wear out very quickly.

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R.S.

answers from Tyler on

I would say he is normal! I hope anyway!! My 12 yr old son does things very similar and has now since he was 10 or 11. His current obsession is paper airplanes. I homeschool and yes, it has started interfereing with school and we have threatened to take them away for ___ number of days if they are brought out before school is complete, etc. And then, of course, he wanted oragami paper so that he could make them correctly and to fly better and I heard about that about a hundred times a day!!!

Take comfort, it is anyoing I KNOW!! I am not sure if it is a boy thing or just the age (my girls are still very young). You are not alone!

Hey, at least you will have a great lawn soon!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds to me like he has seen something he wants to purchase VEEEERRRRY badly, and needs that mowing money so he can go buy whatever it is...sounds pretty typical to me. Just tell him,if you ask me again, then you're going to mow with no $$. Even if you haven't made the arrangment with him to pay him for his mowing services, trust me, he probably has friends who do get paid & have put the idea in his head. I'm sure once the mower is fixed, the negotiations will begin!

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K.O.

answers from Amarillo on

I'm not an expert on this so don't quote me, but from what I've seen working at the school and having 4 cousins the same age, It's pretty normal for him to act like this. Some kids will even ask so many times just to get more attention. He may just be wanting to prove that he's growing up and maturing too believe it or not. I wouldn't worry about it too much unless it has an effect on his schooling or other important things. Wait until it's girls he's obsessed with and now mowing the lawn. That's when you can worry! haha! If he is bothering you that much though, talk to him and tell him that there will be consequences if he doesn't stop asking you all the time and let him know that you will tell him when it is ok.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

Send him to my house!!!! I would be excited and say "Sure!" I am anxiously awaiting that day. Tell him after the lawn is mowed - go and ask neighbors if they need help mowing theirs and let him make some money!

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Does he obsess about anything else, or just mowing? Maybe he wants to do something "big" like his Dad ..... At least he is wanting to help out with something, which is a good thing at least. If this obsessive behavior continues and really has you concerned, my only suggestion would be to call your pediatrician's office and ask for their advice.

Good luck! :)

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A.W.

answers from Knoxville on

K.,

I'm glad you're asking other mamas instead of jumping in to diagnoses and labels.

My son is 10, too, and sometimes, he gets really focused on stuff (like this week, I owed him allowance money, and I must have heard about it a thousand times til I finally got to bank to get cash and pay him).

It may be that just really, really likes to mow the lawn. My son does -- I think it's one of those 'adult' things they can handle, and that's always a good feeling.

However, if it's a constant repetition about a broad variety of things in a variety of different settings, maybe there's something more there. But it sounds to me like he's a pretty normal kid excited about something.

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N.W.

answers from Dallas on

OCD behaviors can be linked to chronic strep in the body. ASO and DNASE titers (blood test) can show if this is a problem.

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K.B.

answers from Dallas on

I don't know how normal this is but it may just be his personality. My husband is almost 35 and still does this, we have been together 9 1/2 yrs and he has always been this way. For example he will decide he would like to get a new watch, that is all he will focus on, he will research everything about everything and then until he buys one that he really likes he won't stop thinking about it or researching about them, this is just one example, there are many more. I know when he was a kid he would read everything about the baseball cards he had and could memorize all of the stats, he is a sports fanatic and music fanatic, so he knows so much about sports and music and the fact that his memory is amazing, it can wear me out at times. I don't think this is a bad things just him, once he mows he probably will be done with it, and hey what can it hurt, maybe next time you can say "if you want to mow, you may mow every Wed evening between 5 and 6 pm" that way he doesn't have to keep asking you he has a schedule. Good luck.

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds like my 5 year old boy. He usually does it when he's especially excited about something such as this weekend he wanted to spend his birthday money and kept asking.

Then just this morning, I told him an old friend of mine was coming over and bringing her 4 year old. My son has seen him once when he was a year old. He said to me. That boy is going to say "oh hey I remember you!" And I told him no, that he was only a week old so he wouldn't remember.

Then he said the same thing in a span of an hour 4 times! I finally told him that he wasn't listening to me and if he asked again he'd have to go to his room. (because it was driving me nuts)

When my husband got home 20 minutes later I told him about it. Then my son said. . . Mom, can I just say it one more time? And we both at the same time said NO! LOL

I can be a bit OCD in my thinking so I know it's hard sometimes when you have something stuck in your head. Overall it doesn't really effect my life, except if I'm getting to worrying about something. I went to a counselor and described all my symptoms and he was not willing to label me as OCD but said that we all have those tendencies at times.

I would think at 10 you could explain to him that you've heard enough about it for now and that if he asks again he won't be able to do it. But let him do it as soon as the weather permits. How wonderful he wants to help out!!

My 5 year old just helped me mop my kitchen and had a ball. :)

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C.G.

answers from Dallas on

He's probably just trying to figure out the mower. Have you asked him why he is so interested in cutting the lawn? If it's money, maybe you could give him a few other chore ideas so he's not pestering you when the lawn doesn't need to be cut? It could be that he's also really proud to be doing his first "man job"!

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B.J.

answers from Dallas on

K.,
Are you NUTS!!! Teach the kid how to mow, let him go!! Learn the basics and move up from there. You might have the next Howard Garrett on your hands. A kid who wants to move, work, play! What a joy! Who cares if he appears obsessed with it or not, at least its not video brain drains.

Grand Pop Bart

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R.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would suggest you talk to your pediatrician and ask for a referral to a child psychologist. He sounds as if he has some symptoms of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Not only will his obsessiveness drive you nuts, he will become increasingly frustrated himself. His obsessiveness may begin to interfere with his socializing with kids his own age, and if they begin to avoid him, he will be very lonely. This sounds like an issue on which you and your son will need help from a professional. Good luck to you both.

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