Behavioral Problems at School Only

I believe your son may be bored and/or may have a different learning style than what your school can provide for him. I also had some issues with my son at school and no where else like you are experiencing with your son. I did not get any support from the school staff or his teachers. I ended up placing him in an independent study program and he has been excelling with no problems. I'm happy to share my experience with you if you think it may help you and your son... Good luck.

Wellll, where to begin! I'm an only child myself, so I can definitely confirm that not having siblings does not mean that a child can't function in normal society. What an odd and insensitive thing for a principal to say!

That aside, I will just play devil's advocate and ask you if you are fully supporting his teacher? Sometimes kids will be very defiant if they feel their parents will back them up instead of the teacher. My husband was like that all his life, all the way up to and including high school, because he knew his parents would take his side no matter what the issue. It actually ended up really costing him. It's almost like he felt that because he didn't HAVE to do what his teachers said, that he wouldn't, since there was nothing the teachers could do to make him. Not a good dynamic in which to learn. It resulted in him not graduating from high school (eventually he went back and got his GED, years later when he finally grew up and pulled his head out of his you-know-what). That's sad to me because he is the smartest guy I know and I feel angry with his parents for shortchanging him like that! He feels very strongly now that we support our kids' teachers in front of our kids (even if we privately feel otherwise), so our kids know that they will not get away with ANYTHING at school. (Believe me, we've had teachers' conferences and aired our concerns, but our kids don't know about it.)

Now, I'm not saying this is what is taking place with your son. But it's just some food for thought. It's not an entirely bad thing for him to learn that people do things in life that may seem unfair, but rules are rules and he's not exempt from them. He's got to say the Pledge of Allegiance if that's the rule at his school (unless you've got a moral objection to it, but then it's up to you to tell the teacher that, not him), he can't flip people off, ever, and he cannot be defiant toward the teacher, the principal, the lunch lady, the crossing guard, or any other adult in a position of authority. I think you will be doing him the most good in the long term by supporting his teachers, even if you don't agree with everything they do and say 100%. And... if the problem here is just a completely wacko principal, then maybe ask for a district transfer next year and start over at a new school.

Good luck and I hope it all works out for you!

M.,
What school is your son going to? Darn and dang? Are these NEW swear words or something? This is just crazy.

It was insulting of the principal to imply that your child had problems because he is an only child. The principal sets the tone for a school.

My main advice would be to CHANGE SCHOOLS or put your child in private or home school. At any rate, the school year is almost over. Maybe you could home school him for the rest of the year then make a change in the fall. The attitude of the school toward your child WILL be damaging to him. He will think he is a "bad" child. When he is not.

It is your job as a parent to protect your child. Schools are not as they were when we were children. Many of the rules do not allow for the fact that children ARE NOT little adults and need to be taught appropriate behavior and allowed to make a mistake now and then with loving correction not punishment.

Darn and Dang, hecka cool, pissed off, what? Punishment is inappropriate for such words. I do not swear and I would be in detention everyday if I went to your son's school would you? Not running in PE. Was he ill? Did anyone ask him? We as adult don't feel like excercising everyday either. Why couldn't the teacher simply have him sit out that day. He is only 7, hello. What is really going on here?

My oldest child is highly intelligent and also has ADHD. When he was in kindergarten, I would get a call from his teacher at least once a week regarding some problem she was having. I decided to help out in the classroom to see what was going on. The teacher was not warm at all with the kids and especially with kids that required her to "teach" them. I quickly figured out that the teacher did not like my son and at our next parent teacher conference I told her that I thought he would do much better if he felt that she liked him. Her response said it all, she was so embarassed and could barely fumble for the words "I do like him." The next year, my son had a teacher who truly did have a sincere love for her students. What a difference.

How in the world is a child supposed to know all of the arbitrary "rules" that schools are coming up with these days. The things kids are getting in trouble for now are unbelievable to me.

Good luck to you. Life in the public school system is getting crazy.
Hugs and happy mommying,
A.

About me: I am a mother of 4 semi grown children ages 22, 19, 17 and 13.

Wow im sorry to here this. I am in the education field and specialize in behavioral problems in special needs children. I have 4 children wich are very well behaved and even they have their moments! I too noticed a change in my son at the age of 7 and 8. So it is common, you are not alone. It sounds like you are doing everything right so dont let that principal make you feel like you are a bad mom! One thing i have learend in this field is that if a behavior can be learend it can be unlearend.Be consistant, and you can not force someone to behave but you can convince them to why it is in their best interest to want to behave. Talk with your child about what he would like to happen and consintrate on all the times he is well behaved and not so much when he acts up. Children crave attention good or bad! If this doesnt work then beat him!!! Ha ha j/k several people in the education field do not listen to childrn, sad but true. I teach my children to always express their felling and to speak up for themsevels. Help him understand that there is a time and place for everything but school is not an appropriate place for flipping some one off. I tell my children we dont always have to like the rules but we do have to follow them getting in trouble is only going to hurt them. I feel the school has made a judgement of your son fair or unfair so it is probably hard for your son to respect people who dont respect him! Thank goodness the year is almost over. Listen to your child and question if this is the best placement for him. I too have had to be an advocate for my son. I wish you luck and please keep me posted!

If that's really all he's done maybe it's time for a new school.