Birthday-Two Out of My Three Children Are Invited to the Child Next Dr B/day

it is a boy only party! Plan to do something special with her that only girls do. Suggestion: lunch, build a bear workshop, a craft, ice cream, a new school outfit. A haircut.
Explain that next year she will have a girl only party.

You are the one who gets to control how this is interpreted...

Have you spoken to your friend about how you feel? I would start by explaining how you are afraid your daughter might feel... may be she never considered this... maybe she is just doing what her child wanted to do...

BUT then, on the other hand there are going to be situations all throughout life that are not "appropriate" or feasible for your daughter and your sons to do together.
I would make this a happy time for the two of you. A mother & daughter special thing and do something the two of you can do together. Be the spin master here, Mommy! The glass IS half full, you know...

Have a great day with your daughter!

If I were in your shoes, I would tell my daughter that the boys were going to have a boy's day, and take her out to do something girls only. Make it very special and enjoyable for her and she won't care much about missing the birthday party.

As far as your feelings go, I agree with others that you need to talk to your friend, but you also need to remember that you have a choice whether or not to be offended by this. Even if it is an intentional slight of your daughter (which I doubt), you can show her by your example that we don't have to be hurt by the things others do if we choose not to. Whatever you do, do not make her feel singled out or a victim of this situation or she will start to view all social situations in that light.

I agree with all of the other mothers that have already posted that it is a decision that has already been made and you are going to have to decide what to do. I think the best idea is to respect her wishes and just go with it. Why cause trouble and hurt feelings? Be the better person and send your boys. No reason to keep them from going, even though your daughter can't. I know it's hard to accept, but it is the best thing for you and for her. You don't want to have to live beside this person and have hard feelings. Just try to be understanding and remember that it's really not about you, it's about the birthday boy. He should be allowed to have any kind of party he wants and invite who he wants. That is how it is with kids. They don't think about feelings and things. They want what they want. On your birthday, you should have it your way. There are so few times in life that you have that and when you are 6, you should be entitled for only 1 day. It's his day and you should be happy for him and the fact that your 2 boys will have lots of fun. They are lucky to get to go to such a fun party. Have fun with your daughter doing something else. Explain to her that sometimes you don't get your way...

The other mother thinks it's "ok" to only invite boys to the party because it IS ok for her to do that! It is her son's birthday and up to him to decide who is invited. As a First Grade teacher, you have no idea how many children we're encountering these days who feel totally "entitled"! They think that everything should be as they want it....and that's not reality. Your attitude about the party will be a model for your daughter. Please don't give her the feeling that someone else should change all of their plans to suit her. If you do.......she's going to have some very hard lessons to learn in the future. Take this as an opportunity for you both to learn how to deal with situations that don't especially make you happy.

For starters you should back off of the other mother and stop focusing on your feelings and turning this into a "my feelings are hurt" scenario! This is HER son's bday party and he can invite whomever he wishes. At this age kids start to break up into boy/girl groups and thats just the way it is. Instead of making this personal for you (you have stated your daughter doesn't even know yet..you are assuming her feelings)you COULD turn this into a great time for you and your daughter.
Have you HUSBAND take your sons to the party, it is an all boy party after all. If your husband can't, have your father go with them and you and your daughter go do something together of her liking. Get to know your daughter without your sons and let your boys be boys without their sister.
To think your friend is doing this to spite you or your daughter means you need to reflect on yourself, you are the one not being a very good friend and you could end up losing one yourself.

Tough lesson but one that all children have to learn.

I would not call the mom. What would you expect her to do? It's her son's party and he want's boys only. Would you want someone to pressure you into having someone at your childs party that your child didn't want there? If she invites your daughter who knows how many more girls she would have to invite. She drew the line for her son's party. No girls. Respect that.

Teach your daughter to make the best of it. Go get your nails done together or take her for a special lunch. Spend some girl time with her and let the boys go to the party.

This may be because of the school rules. At my son's school, you are not allowed to invite anyone in the class unless you invite EVERYONE in the class. Because parents complained this was too many kids sometimes, they modified it so that you can invite only the boys or girls but you have to invite EVERY boy or girl. If your boys got the invite at school, I would guess it's because of rules like that. If you know your neighbor, call and ask about bringing your daughter as a family friend not a school friend. Or plan a special time with your daughter somewhere else. If she swims every weekend, maybe she'd love the opportunity to do something else all by herself with one parent.

Try not to let it ruin a good relationship with the neighbors. The schools do these kinds of rules so no one feels left out, but good intentions often work backwards. Good luck.

Just let me say even though your feelings are hurt this is something that will happen often. Your daughter will also get invited to parties the sons dont. It is a part of life. Boys and girls start separating at a certain age and dont want to have parties till later with both sexes. I have two 14 yr old girls that dont get invited to the same parties. I cannot punish the one because the other does not get invited. Maybe you can do something special with her while they are at the party. Showing up to the pool anyway with her would be rude of you. If it is a boy party only then she does not fit the description. There will be girls only some day also. Im sure if you tell her she will understand.

I don't think your friend is trying to offend you. I bet her son wanted a "boys only" party and since he is the birthday boy, his mom said sure. Take your daughter on a special "date" with you, shopping and a special lunch or even a movie. Make it a memorable time for you and her to spend together!

A.,

While I certainly understand your position and your hurt feelings (I'm sure I would feel the same way) if you can get past the hurt why not look at this as an opportunity to do something special with your daughter, just the two of you? Maybe take her to a tea room or somewhere the boys would not enjoy going and make it into a special outing for her. I know as the mother of 4 children, they cherish any time they get alone with mom or dad. I hope this helps.

Blessings,
J.

I have a friend whose two-year-old daughter was invited to her four-year-old girl friend's very princessy birthday/tea party, but the two-year-old's four older brothers weren't invited, so their mom (my friend) was offended. Come on, people.

We choose to be offended, usually when no offense was meant. Instead of teaching your daughter to take offense and go to the party and mope around acting left out, teach her the facts of life (by example, specifically that "life isn't fair") and do something else with her. It shouldn't be such a big deal. How is your daughter going to learn to cope in life without having opportunities to cope?

I remember crying my head off once when I wasn't invited along with my older sister to play with a mutual friend. My mom didn't coddle me over it or anything, just let me have my fit until I got over it. I learned that sometimes we're not invited. That's life. And now as an adult, I'm sometimes not invited to something, and I don't take great offense, and I get over it, and life is still rosey and goes on.

Hi! I don't normally respond (I'm already such a busybody!) but - try to think of it this way - Maybe she is limited by funds and had to stick to a certain head count. I'm sure you ARE a good friend - she may not even realize that she has hurt your feelings - why not drop off the boys and go have a FUN GIRLS DAY - you know like a girls night out. THen REMEMBER as your twins get older they WILL want separate parties - Was there ever a time when we were all younger that we each went "eewwww girls/boys" even when we really liked them? In God's grand scheme of things - this is a small one - it will only be a big deal if YOU let it become one - Why not call your friend and ask if you can "drop off the boys" - then kindly and gently tell her why - while you understand it's for boys only - your daughter might get her feelings hurt - so to keep that from happening and to RESPECT your friends wishes you'd like to take her somewhere else special. (WHy not go have a mani/pedi? Do you really want a Birthday party that will be forgotten to come between your friendship? One last thought - How often does your daughter (as mother of two still at home I struggle with this one myself) get TIME ALONE with you?? Blessings and I hope I have not spoken to harshly - T.

hi, if i were you i would find a friend or family member to take the boy's to the party. then you and you daughter have a GDO. girls day out. that is what my 9 yr. old daughter likes to call it. even if it is just to get a burger. it is our time. no boys allowed. she has a sister that is 20 yrs. older then her and 5 brothers. so it makes for a special time for just us,. good luck. you will run in to this again in years to come. it just goes with it differant sexes. blessings. R. mom of 7.

Six is the age when little boys may become more aware of differences. My heart broke when I was six and my little neighbor boy--who was my age--decided he couldn't play with girls anymore. Part of this is the pressure for boys not to appear to be "girlish." So they separate themselves.

Your daughter is not a boy and so this will happen more and more often. She needs to find like-minded little girls who are her friends (i.e., if sh's not a "girly girl" then her friends shouldn't be girly girld either.)

Like it or not, kids start to run into labels at about this age. That will last the rest of their lives.

Just take the little girl to a movie or something. I'm sure there were other little girls ommitted,too. Dont take it personal or let it offend. Sometimes boys get to do things girls dont. That's all. I'm sure it was not meant to hurt.

I agree with the other posts. It is the boy's bday party for whatever reason and it is about him, not you. Take the opportunity to do something one-on-one with your daughter.

I don't think your friendship with the other mother has anything to do with the invitation.

I understand your hurt feelings, but take advantage of a great afternoon with your daughter. Plan something big. Have her help you with the plans and do something SHE wants to do. To be very honest, you don't even need to have a chaperone for your boys at this party, because if it is at a neighborhood pool, there will be lifeguards. If you don't have someone to bring your boys to the party, Ask the woman next door if you could drop them off at her house early and see if she can take them to the party and bring them home and that way your daughter and you can do something girlie and fun. I'm sure that mom will completely understand. When you tell your daughter, don't approach your daughter with sadness and sorrow. Say in an excited voice, "Guess what? we get to have a girls day and we are going to have fun!" And mean it! This is a great opportunity for you. I know, because having 3 kids myself, 2 of which are boys, it is hard to find that girl time with my daughter. Enjoy it!

I would take the opportunity to have a girls day. Go get your nails done and get an ice cream together. That would make it special for both of you. If you are supposed to be at the party to watch your other two, explain to the mom that you still have another child to take care of to show her your annoyance...
OR Bring your daughter a cupcake to the pool and let her eat it when she see the other kids having cake.

Dear A.,
This will a great time for you and your daughter to have a girls day out.Make it special for both of you. Babe you can go out to lunch at her favorite place.My daughter took my granddaughter to get her nails done.You can build up your special day and most of all tell her it is a secret between you and her.It will be lots of fun for both of you. Have fun!
L.

When having more than one child this will happen throughout their lives. I have six children who are very close in age. It is okay that your daughter wasn't invited. It doesn't mean that her friends don't like her, they are having an all boy party. Instead of being upset about it take advantage of the time that you don't have the two boys and have some one on one mommy daughter time. Life has disappointments and we all have to learn that at some point in our lives. Your friend may not have thought twice about it and is just wanting to have a birthday party for her son.
If we go thru life and choose not to be offended the world will be a much happier place. If you are positive about this with your daughter she will handle the disappointment better.

Hi A.,

That's understandable but try not to take it personally. It's a boys only party. It would be similar to your little girl having a Princess party. Boys typically wouldn't come to that. Maybe your daughter can invite a couple of her friends over and they have their own special something at your house while the boys only party is going on. I don't think the other Mom was trying to hurt you intentionally.

have a great day!

Hey A.,
Please if at all possible, don't feel resentment towards your friend. It might just be a case of her son wanting just a boy party, and not have any girls there, because at this stage they pretty much just focus on the same sex(boys) to play with, and girl have cooties. Not to be mean, but that was how my two boys at that age. I can understand how you feel about not wanting your daughter to be left out, and I understand how you can feel upset for your daughter; but look at it from another angle. If you were a 6 year old little boy, and you only wanted to have a "boy only" party, then that is pretty much what you are only focused on, and not on anything else. And as a mother, you would want to go by your son's wishes for his party, so you know that he is happy. And for the place, she more than likely picked that place, because for one, it was more than likely the place she could afford for the party, if she had to pay any deposit and such. And plus, the pool is a mutual place that every kid loves to do. Your friend more than likely didn't think about the reaction you would have, planning this party. So, my last piece of advice to you, is for you to call this friend up, tell her about your dilemma and maybe a solution will come out of it. Don't just not call her, and not tell her what you are feeling, and/or concerned about. True friends talk, not hold grudges. Well, I hoped this helped you, and if you need any more advice, just email me and let me know.

It's a boy only party. This is just one of many lessons your daughter will learn that life does not always go her way. Do something different with her that day if you are afraid she is going to feel left out. By no means should you be upset with the other mother. If she made an exception and invited your daughter, she may have to make that same exception many times over for other female friends. It's a boy party, boys only.

I have not read all of the comments, so forgive me if I am being repetative...but can't you take your daughter out for a special day with mommy? Do you need to be at the party with your boys? I would sell it as a day to do something "extra" special with mom, like going to get your nails done, or something she loves.

This mom had to make a cut-off somehow, somewhere -- she can't invite everybody in the world, and it was probably a difficult decision to say "boys only," particularly knowing how close in age and friendship your mixed-sex twins are to her child. But part of being a mom and an adult is making tough decisions that are not going to be popular. There are probably a lot of girls that will feel left out because their brother is going to the birthday party (any birthday party!) and they can't go. If she hadn't made it "boys only," she probably would not have been able to invite as many of her son's friends as he would have liked. It was not a personal attack or slam on either you or your daughter; it's just life. Show your daughter how to accept disappointment with grace, and she'll be head and shoulders above most children her age, and it will be excellent practice for life in general. I think this would be a good time for you to get some "mother-daughter" time -- time she probably doesn't get because her brothers are always there. You can stay home and watch a girlie movie, eat popcorn, make cookies, paint your toenails or whatever. Just the two of you.

Take the boys to the party and then plan something for you and your daughter to do. Explain to your daughter that there will only be boys there. I'm sure the Mom didn't mean anything by not inviting your daughter; just that it is a boy party. Don't let something this petty spoil a friendship. If all the children get along daily it will not change them for one party,.

Hey dear, I know you are upset but why don't you try to turn that day into a girl only day for your girl, just mommy and her. Maybe you could rent a cute movie and dress up and all.

Hope my idea won't offend you.

Good luck dear

A., Please don't let this come between you and your neighbor. It's a "boys only" party so take your daughter to do something special. It could turn out that you and your daughter have more fun than the boys do!! It is a real opportunity for you to have a "girls day out". Don't make a big deal about her not being invited in front of her because she will see that you are upset about it and then it really will hurt her feelings. This is not the last time that this will happen and she will be invited to girls only parties. So, my advice...take her out for a special day!! Hope this helps!

I can understand your hurt feelings...we all feel them when we think our children have been 'wronged'. It is impossible not to! In this situation, however, I would encourage you to look at this as a learning opportunity for your daughter. In life, there will be things she can and cannot do because of many different reasons and this is OK. I would not make a big deal out of it, except to be supportive of the decision. I'd tell her, "sorry, but it is a boys-only party. Someday, you will be invited to a girls-only party and they cannot come." If you can, I would do something with her, so missing the party is not the focus, even if it is just baking cookies or going to McD's playland. I'm sure with 2 other brothers, mother-daughter time doesn't happen every day!

Try not to let this ruin your friendship with the neighbor. I am sure she thought of this when she was doing all the planning and since you say you have a friendship, she must have thought you'd understand her rationale.

We all want to protect our children from the hurt of life. I've been there many times. I think it's best to just explain the reality of the situation to your daughter. Sometimes boys just want to be with boys. There will come a time when she will go to "just girl" functions. I'm sure that Mom didn't even realize that this would be a problem.
Teaching this lesson early to our children makes them much more resilient to life's big and little disappointments. Remember our children are also watching how we deal with situations and learning from how we deal with it.
If you don't make a big deal out of it, she probably will be ok with it too.
Good Luck! We are all on the learning curve.

Hi,
I understand you have hurt feelings but I am sure the mother is not intending to do that to you or your daughter. I had a girls only party because at some point you need to draw a line as to how many people you can accomodate, feed, keep track of etc. Maybe the child who's birthday it was really wanted only boys. Don't be offended and explain that to your daughter and maybe you can do something fun with her alone while the party is happening so she doesn't have to sit and watch fun she can't participate in.
Good luck!

A.,

You should not be offended nor have hurt feeling over this. It is a child party and as other posts have indicated the child may have only wanted a boys party. You know like at school the teachers ask you not to send outside invitations to specific children in the class. It's either send them to all the girls or all the boys or the whole class. I think this is a similar situation in thsi case. Again you should not have hurt feeling take this time to have one on one with your daughter - girls day out! Lastly if this mother is your friend you should be able to talk to her about her reasoning for a boys only party, after all she is your friend.

Not to discount your feelings, but I'm not sure why you are hurt. If she allows your daughter to attend, then she'll have to allow other sisters to attend as well. Not inviting your daughter has nothing to do with you - I don't see any reason to take it personally. Why don't you and your daughter do a girls-only activity, like getting a pedicure or something? That way, you'll have fun having 1-on-1 time with your only daughter, and she'll be able to brag to her brothers about a girls-only activity.

A.,
If it is a boy only party, let your boys go, do something fun with your little girl and everyone will be fine. You would have a reason to be upset if it was a co-ed party and your daughter was left out....but that isn't the case. SO - if you don't make a big deal out of it, neither will the kids.

Enjoy the girls time with your daughter.
T.

btw - I have 3 boys, 8,6 3 and my 8 and 6 year olds boys have alot of the same friends, but there have been times that only one of them has been invited to a party that is for a child they both consider a friend....NO ONE has emotional scars from not going to a party. The kids will take your cues on how to feel about this.

Well to make it plain and simple..you need to get over it. If your daughter was invited to a mutual playmate "girl party" with nail painting and make-up, would you be just as angry if the boys were not invited. At that age boys just want to have boys, not girls. Find another parent to watch your boys(especially if they are not good swimmers) and do something fun with your daughter. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, then you need to ask the mom if it is okay to bring her or no one goes to the party. If she is such a good friend, then talk to her and tell her how you are feeling

Its' probably good that you haven't told your daughter yet until you get your feelings under control about it. For the future security of your friendship and 'neighborliness', though, tell this mother that your feelings are hurt whether she meant for them to be, or not. Either write down what you want to say and tell her over the phone, or send her a note (you can say what you mean in writing without saying things that you SHOULDN'T say, but also remember that you need to soften your 'approach' in writing, because things can be 'taken' in the wrong 'tone' when there's no voice to the words). Maybe she just hasn't thought about it or realized how such 'exclusivity' can make kids feel.

I'd either have it OK'ed with her to bring them all or take the girl on a 'mom/daughter' outing.

My feelings would be hurt too. I don't know how you explain that your daughter can't go just because she's a girl. Something so gendered seems offensive to me too, especially if the kids normally play together. I understand the special time/girl time, but beyond that I would want to be at the pool if 2 of my kids were there. Seems unfair that you would need to make special arrangements for the 3rd child in order to take the 2 who WERE invited. Good luck...

Wow- that's a pretty rotton thing to do I think. Granted, I can understand that kids come to an age when they want to have single sex parties, but this kid plays with her all the time! Coming to the house specifically asking to play with her! They're friends...don't kids invite their friends to their parties?? I just don't understand that.

Now, what would I do? I'd tell my daughter that he's only going to have boys at his party and that you think just the two of you girls should do something special while the parties going on..maybe take her out to lunch or get manicures with her. I would even tell her that you think it kind of stinks that he's only having boys there, but it is what it is. As long as she's got something fun to do that day too...hopefully it won't even be something that she'll be jealous of her brother's getting to do.

Good luck

just tell the mom that you know your daughters feelings will be hurt. would it be horrible if you all happened to come swim at the same time. if its in your neighborhood she cant stop you but at the same time you dont want to be rude and just invite your daughter no matter how much this stinks... good luck

I would tell your friend your situation and let her know that they all go, or none go. As a mom with a traveling husband, I totally understand. As a friend, she should understand as well. You daughter would be fine with the rest of them being boys, especially since she is familiar with the birthday boy.

Chances are, she'll make an exception for you. If not, then take all three of your kids out and about and show them a good time so that they aren't to upset about missing the party. To do it cheaply, hit the local McDonald's and eat at a park for lunch picnic style. Bring some bubbles and some balls for an extra good time. While at McDonald's you can also grab a RedBox movie.

Have fun either way. Good luck!

A.,
I'm sorry you feel that way, but you're blowing this way out of proportion. It's just for the boys. If the mother makes a special exception for your daughter she will no doubt be forced to make exceptions for other girls. Maybe she 1)can't afford it, 2)doesn't want so many kids there because of the possible danger, or 3)wants to have a theme for her son's party that boys would really enjoy. Either way, don't take it personal. It's nothing against you or your little girl. If you make it a big deal, you're going to risk losing a good friendship. Don't take your daughter to the pool. That would be rude and intrusive. I'm sure she has a friend that could have her over for a play date for the duration of the party so she isn't made to feel left out. You'll do the right thing! =)

I have a question - is the pool going to be closed to the rest of the subdivision while the pool party is going on? I am assuming so.
Is there another family who has a daughter your daughter's age who maybe she could go play with while you have the boys at the party? Or could you have a babysitter come and do something special with her while you are gone? If there are no options for you then you need to just call the mom and tell her your predicament. Try not to sound accusing - she is just a mom trying to do her best like all the rest of us. Tell her you want the boys to come but you are not comfortable leaving them at the pool without you there, and you have nobody to keep your daughter. If she insists that she does not want the girls there, even if it means the boys not coming, then you have your answer. Hopefully that won't be the case.

There are two ways to look at it. If it is a 'boy only' party, then it is for 'boys only'...if she is such a good friend then you should be able to call her and say, "hey, I noticed it is a boy only party, ??? was upset b/c your son is her friend too, are there not other girls going really?" Then let her explain. Tell her that your husband will be out of town and you will need to have your daugther with you. You also must tell your daughter that if it is a boy only party, she cannot go. there will be PLENTY of girl only parties in her future....tea parties, nails, dress up, princess party, etc She should not be too upset once she knows only boys will be there. Just explain that no other girls will be there. You could ask your daughter to bring a friend or two and you 'girls' go swimming in a separate area if the pool is not closed to the party. Pack a lunch and get cupcakes for the girls and have your own 'girl party' while swimming. Maybe the mom had to do this to limit the party participants. If it bothers you that bad, just make a curious call to her asking if you understood it correctly since your daughter plays with him too. Just to let her know she has upset you. You will need to get a sitter for your daughter or not stay or your sons at the party. If your sons are good swimmers, try not to worry.

.

Well, the choices are either explain to your daughter that it is "boy only" or don't send any of your children. I think I would probably lean toward the 'if they all can't go then none can go' myself since they are all playmates.

Hi A.,

1st off WOW! I've never heard so many people think that it's ok to disregard a really good friend's child like that. If it is a question of money she should be upfront about it and then you could have pitched in. It's up to you to allow your sons to see that this is ok or not. Yes, do something extra special with your daughter and maybe let your sons know they have a choice to go to the party or out with you. I would explain to them that the outing with your daughter is because of the party and will not be made up to them later ( I think you know what I mean). I don't have ANY friends that would have a party right in front of the child that is being excluded, and I never will. Good luck with your decision and try to breath. Everything will work out, if you keep a level head.

I can understand your hurt feelings and your daughter's potential hurt feelings. But I also understand a little boys want for a "boy only" party. They get that way around that age. There was one girl present at my nephews recent 8 year party and she was continually asking my sister if there were going to be any more girls coming. I would consider asking the mom/friend if she was ok with your daughter coming as it would be akward not to include her. See how that goes and then see if your girl has a great time or keeps looking for other girls.
As for anger at the other mom, I imagine she is trying to please her son who was not thinking about your daughter being excluded. Better yet, why not ask the birthday boy if your daughter can come? Anyway, I ramble. Good luck!

I understand that you are hurt over this. sometimes it will be things that she may be invited to and the boys will not. try to explain it is a boy thing and don't be mad at your friend. This will be a good time to have a girls break just you and her. Do something that she would like to do. Go buy her something special. Mom and daughter time.
When i say that i understand it. It is because i have experienced it for myself i have six children and one set of twins. my twins is a boy and a girl. believe me they have not always been treated the same and it is a part of life sometimes we as parent are hurt more than the children. We have to be careful that they don't pick up on the way we feel about sitation. Give it more thought and pray about it. Ask God to help you.

This is prob. too late of a response, but I just joined the site this morning & saw your post....

Like you, we have 3 Kid's (12, 9 & 9 boy/girl twins). This same situation will arise MANY times, trust me. Rather than to go into deep details, I'll keep my suggestion short.

1) Let the 2 boys attend the party
2) Don't let this "Boy Party" come between the other mom & yourself. It was surely her son's idea, not her's.
3) Hopefully, you have a "best" , or real good frien who lives nearby that is willing to help you out in certain situations. Let her/him watch over your two sons at this pool party.
4) You and your daughter have quality time together doing whatever she enjoys (other than swimming).
5) Everyone wins (except you friend wathing your sons), but that's the way it is sometimes, and then it will be YOUR turn to do them a favor in the future...

Hope this helps. By the way, I'm the father, not the mom of my Kid's. It takes two to raise kid's right IMO.

This is an opportunity to teach important lessons all around. The lesson for your daughter is to not be jealous and to be happy for her brothers. She needs to find her way through these tough feelings and learn to cope with disappointment.

The lessons for your sons are to be sensitive to your daughters disappointments. They need to be taught how to do this directly, (ie. explain her feelings and tell them how to act towards her). Maybe you can arrange for them to return with a surprise piece of cake and leftover goody bag for her.

The lesson for you is to recognize that your children have to deal with disappointment and jealousy. You can't make it go away. Keep her home because it's the easiest and simplest thing to do since you're on your own that weekend. Don't feel like you have to provide her with equal fun and stuff. Remind her that she will be invited to girl only parties in the future. Be sensitive to her feelings of jealous and anger but stick to your guns in disciplining bad behavior.

It's better for them to learn to cope with these issues when they're young and the damage is minimal. Painful to watch, but very important to follow through.

I am sorry A., but I think you make a big deal out of it. WOuld you want to bring one of your boys to the princess party???
With your hubby away you might want to see if she can have a short notice playdate with some of her friends. My 2 cents:)