Birthday Parties - Los Angeles,CA

This is why you don't have parties and don't invite everyone. I just have small parties now. A best friend or two and that's it.

These other moms probably felt the same way when their daughter's weren't invited.

We are not always included for whatever reason.

Only invite people you want at a party..no pity invites unless you really feel it is important..

Also who knows, maybe your daughter was invited, but the invitation was lost.

Try not to make the a big deal, because.. In reality, it is not a big deal.

Well, you didn't invite her daughter so she didn't invite yours, right? She may not have understood your logic since some of the troop girls were invited and some weren't. So you may look like you're exclusive, or that you don't want your daughter being a part of the troop social circle. It sucks, but these moms are probably just following your lead. I don't think I'd be hurt... just take note of the social politics and play it differently next year. Even if your daughter didn't talk about her party at school, some of the girls who attended did - they're 8 years old, after all... and the birthday party of one of their friends isn't a secret. So yeah - all the kids and moms know who was invited and who wasn't.

About the other mom posting pictures on Facebook - why the heck wouldn't she? She was excited about her daughter's party and wanted to share. I'm sure your potential hurt feelings (or the feelings of the million other people not invited to the party) didn't come into play at all.

Or... perhaps these other moms don't like you and don't care if your feelings are hurt? I hate to ask, but is it possible that your family is being purposefully excluded? Why not talk to the mom and explain why you invited the people you did? See if you're reading more into this than you need to be.

Your daughter invited who she wanted, and the other girl invited who SHE wanted, which is totally appropriate. It doesn't matter whether photos were on FB or not because little girls talk anyway, it's not like they wouldn't know who went to who's party just because you told them not to talk about it. They would also get over it within a day or two, so I suggest you do the same. I'm not trying to get "upset" with you but you are an adult, and this is kid stuff. And you ARE the one if you asked if you have the right to be hurt by this. In my opinion, no, this is a non issue. The fact that your feelings are hurt by some photos of a child's birthday party (a child your daughter didn't even invite to her party!) suggests insecurity and immaturity on your part. Sorry, but that's how it sounds :-(

Not really. You were selective in your invite list, so she's allowed to do the same. By inviting only 1/2 of the troop, you excluded 1/2 too. I understand your logic, but my guess is that the girls who were excluded were hurt. Other people can't read your mind. You knew when you made the guest list that you were (deliberately) leaving off 1/2 of the girls in the troop.

In the future look at the "big picture" of your guest list. You don't need to invite the whole world, but if you are going to invite 1/2 of a group, you are well-served by inviting the whole group until the girls are older.

Mom's get REAL persnickety when their precious isn't invited somewhere. So maybe your daughter isn't receiving invites as they are only inviting girls from whom they received invites... Then the other mom might have different criteria - maybe only kids they've already let spend the night or only girls whose names start with K.... Who knows????

I would not be hurt by this, but at the same time this is a natural survival of the fittest friends. Now your daughter knows where she "stands" so to speak. This is the age where girls start separating from the pack, so encourage your daughter to pick friends who feel the same way about her that she feels about them.

People should not have to walk around on eggshells like that. Nobody owes you an invitation, and they don't have to keep it quiet. "Hey, check this out. We had a party and you weren't invited!" If they weren't chanting that, why take it personally? Why should they not enjoy their lives and share them with others just because you weren't invited to particupate? If you weren't tagged in the pics, then posting and sharing had nothing to do with you. Leave it alone. You invite based on your criteria; let them invite based on theirs. Unless you have actually had a conversation with them, you don't know what they're basing it on, and vice versa.

So what if you come across as insecure? Some of us come across as bossy, mean, doormats, walking Counselor referrals, etc. No mama on here is perfect. If so, we would not be on this site but rather in the house cooking, cleaning and painting the walls.... lol

Regarding the party where all the GS troop were invited except your child -- isn't it possible that the birthday girl handed out paper invitations at a troop meeting or elsewhere, gave your child one -- and it never made it into your hands? That recently happened in our troop: A girl handed out paper invitations at a meeting, and one girl put hers into her bag, forgot about it, and her mom never saw it until it was too late. If kids hand out their own invitations directly to other kids, this happens -- much more than you know. I have heard so many stories of "I found that invitation three months later crushed in the bottom of my kid's school backpack" and so on. Kids are often lousy at keeping up with those things and then get upset when they miss the party -- but it's a learning experience: Keep up with stuff like this.

Is it also possible that all the other girls in the troop also are girls the birthday child knows and sees OUTSIDE Girl Scouts, except your daughter? In our troop not all the girls go to the same school so I would not necessarily expect that invitations would always go to every single girl -- they don't all hang out together outside GS.

Just a couple of things to consider, especially the first point about invitations handed to kids....

If you are this upset about these invitations and parties, please try to take a deep breath and consider: Your daughter could pick up from you the idea that these things matter a lot, because your post indicates you feel they do -- you're clearly hurt. If she picks up on that feeling, it sets her up to put a lot of weight on these things just as you are doing, and that in turn sets her up to feel very hurt the next time it happens -- and it will. Teach her that these things are nice but not essential, and that everyone makes mistakes at times in issuing an invitation, and that missing one party is not the end of the world.

You won't always be included, and you can't get upset when your daughter wasn't invited, when you didn't invite those kids to your kid's party. Make sense?

I am having a party from 7-10pm for my kids. It's at a local pool and that's the only time they do parties. It is what it is. If people don't want to come, that's fine, we'll have a great time regardless.

couple of things, this year was the first year we have ever been invited to a party that started at 7 pm on a friday night no less. since it was a weekend and my son was excited we did go, it was at a YMCA and my guess is that much like wedding receptions there was probably a party earlier at a more convenient time and in order to be close to the bday date the mom took the later time rather than push back by a few weeks.

I learned this year that if my dd wants her january bday party at an iceskating rink we have to book in august.

so like you when i got that invite i was shocked these were 9 yos at that time of day but it actually worked because alot of dad's were home from work and could take kids.

secondly, in kinder my ds insisted he was invited to austins party but there was no invite, he was so insistent that i emailed the teacher and she said Yes all kids were invited so ds must have lost the invite, she gave me mom's phone and i called and explained.

Did your dd miss a scout meeting where they might have been handed out? I guess i'm wondering because not tooo many people mail invites any more and i would think you or your dd would have noticed that they were being passed out.

If you can keep your emotions out of it it might give you some clarity to ask the scout leader if she thinks it was an oversight or if something is happening at scouts that you could discuss with your daughter that might be the reason for her to be excluded..

what i am understanding is that you invited
8 classmates 4 were scouts 4 were not.

this mom invited all the scouts but your dd.

I don't get hurt if i understand the formula for inviting the guests, like i don't expect my dd to be invited to her best boy buddies party if the mom is only inviting boys,
or i don't expect my ds and 3 other buddies to be invited to parties for kids on his ball team that all go to a diff elementary school.
BUt the minute you invited 1 of the buddies but not the other 2 it gets a little emotional for me. so i totally get what you are saying.

Am i understanding right that your dd would have left her own party and turned around to go to this late party??? Even thought it is stupid and allit would have taken was for the mom to talk directly to you and say we booked her late party before we got your dd's invited. we want you to know she is welcome but we understand if you have family in town and can't come. that sort of thing. Maybe that was the problem her Faulty assumption that your dd wouldn't want to leave her party and go to this other girls party on the same night. Now i'm confused and maybe there was a third party that invited just 10 of the girls.

i would have an open hearted non blaming talk with the gs leader assuming she isn't one of the moms.

I would also really really look in your heart because i know when my kids are doing things that annoy others and would explain them being left out. It's hard and it hurts. but to be a better mom for my kids i have to deal with realitly.