Birthday Party Etiquette - Tustin, CA

I'm actually a fan of opening them up after the party. It takes too long and is easier to deal with keeping track of who gave what for thank you notes!

My sister-in-law and I have very differing views on this subject. We have (and will) always open presents with guests, she thinks it's easier to do it after everyone leaves the party. Whereas it might be easier, I personally think it's kind of rude not to open them, especially for older kids. Half the fun of going to a party is seeing what your birthday friend has received. Yes it can be chaotic and time consuming, but you plan for that. It also teaches the birthday child to be gracious (in the face of duplicate gifts and/or something they really might not want) and how show appreciation for their friend's thoughtfulness.

My son just turn 3 last weekend, and this was the first time we open the presents w/ all guests (his aunts, uncles, cousins...) still there. Boy, what a chaos, his cousins (my husband's nephews) grabbing his new toys, one boy wanted to play w/ it right away and didn't want to give it back, his parents (my sister/brother-inaws) try to tell the boy to give it back but no luck after a couple try, it force us to talk to our own son that let his cousin play for a bit then it will be his completely. We have to be the hero ones to do that so my son's cousin won't make such a big scene w/ screaming and in case the boys fighting for toy could break it. BTW, my son cousin is 7 months older than him but can't talk clearly (yup, 3 and 1/2 and still just baby talk)and just use physical to get stuff. My son is such a wonderful boy, he listen to us and willing to distract himself to other gifts but I just feel so bad for him, he's holding other toy on his hands but his eyes were just on the toy that his cousin playing, 'cause that is his favorite toy and he's been waiting for it and my husband just got it for his birthday. So, to tell you the truth, I can feel the parents of the kids you attended for not opening gifts in front of everyone. I would say, if all the kids attend the party are old enough to understand not grabbing/destroying the toys of the birthday boy/girl, it is fun to open the gifts when all the guests are still there. However, if there are toddler that don't understand sharing and ownership and having uncontrollable tantrum, hold it off until everyone leave, then send thank you note w/ a picture of the birthday boy/girl holding the gift from each guest as I did for the other 2 years. BTW, when my son open the clothing gifts, he just doesn't care and don't even wanna look to see what they look like. So, for small children, they don't understand about how to be polite and at least show some excitement when open a gift no matter if they like the gift or not. When opening a gift that they don't like, they could make the gift giver a bit sad (as I can see that in my inlaws...they all give him clothes, I just say thanks a put aside after showing it to him what he got).

I myself for both for the past 2 parties we had for our little girl who is only 2 opened up the presents at home after the party. We kept track of who gave what and wrote thank you cards. It made sense for us because we were so tired after the party and wanted do do it it home with some peace after everyone left. The kids had been playing all day at the park, the guys were cleaning up the BBQ and tables and it had been long enough at the party. Besides other 2-5 year olds could care less about watching a kid open presents. The gratification sought is from the adults only anyways not kids, send a thank you note of acknowledgement later and call it a day.

A friend of mine opens gifts after guests leave, and as my kids get older I'm in agreement. There's too much jealousy and chaos involved when opening gifts infront of other kids. If someone would like you to open their gift while they're there just take them in a seperate room. Just remeber to send thank yous!

hi S.!

i think this sort of thing just varies with different people. i don't really like to have my kids open gifts in front of people. but personally, when i give a gift, i like to see the kids face light up when they see the thing that i put a lot of time and thought into finding for them. and so for that reason i always end up letting the guests choose what to do and so far they have always wanted to watch the gift opening! after all i feel as though the party is more for the guests to come and enjoy, sort of as a gift to them saying thanks for being my friend.
it all comes down to doing what you think is the best way to make everyone (or at least most of the people) happy and comfortable.

i guess if nobody really cares if they see him open the gifts, or if one person wants to see the gift being opened, then maybe that one person could watch him open the one gift? just a suggestion!!

i hope it goes well and happy birthday to your little guy! my second little guy turns one in February!

For my son's 1st birthday party there were so many gifts and it was so cold outside (even for Anaheim in January) that we basically asked if there was anyone who wanted us to open their gift there at the party. Otherwise, our intention was to open them at home. The 1st birthday was geared more towards the adults and he was too young to understand what was going on. There were a few who had traveled a ways and wanted to see him open them there and we were happy to do it. Most were grateful for not having to sit through all of the opening. This year for his 2nd birthday it will be geared more towards the kids and there will be a range of ages. My intention is to let him open them at the party if time allows since it will be at the La Habra Children's Museum. It will be indoors so at least we'll be warmer this year.

As an older Mom/Grandma I can see why Moms would not the problem of not allowing the guests to play with all these new toys, however, part of the fun of going to a birthday party is seeing all the presents. One party my oldest was invited to (everyone was only 3) each child went home with a present (not the one they came with). All the presents where placed in a small plasic swiming pool and each child got one. This was only because of the their very young age. I don't think we started having parties with friends until they were at least 4.

I think it can be done both ways, no etiquette to it. Sometimes if the party is away from home it's just easier to take them home, sometimes it's a time issue, and sometimes it's to keep all the party quests out. I know one year it was time to open the presents and my baby spit up gallons on me and my hair, I had no option but to go shower. I left my spouse in charge, when I came out all the presents where open and taken out of the boxes. I didn't know who gave her what or what went with what. And I think somethings left with the party quests because I could never find somethings that the box said it came with. So I personally open the presents but don't let any of the kids take out or open the boxes, I only tell the guests that ask to open something that it's the birthday kids so they get to open it and play with it first, but that they can come over another day for a play date to play with the new toys. hope this helps. J.

I've been to parties with both.
I think it is better for younger ones to open the presents later. 1 and 2 year olds aren't much for sitting and watching someone else get toys. Sometimes it is at a play place where time is limited also.
With older kids I think they should definitely be opened when the giver is there. this seems to be the case now that my kids are older and attend parties.

I have done it both ways at parties. Personally, I like it when they open presents after everyone is gone. Because other wise it is pandemonium. I have no idea who gave what-other kids are opening presents that are for the bday child. and it is less overwhelming. They can open a couple things, play w/ them, open something else later. As my kids get older the chaos is under control-it is easier to make athank you list.